Mrs. Prairie Dog, Cincinnati
Age and Occupation: 24, Program CoordinatorFiance's Age and Occupation: 25, PhD/Biomedical EngineerEngagement Date: December 18, 2009Wedding Date: May 2011Venue: Glendale LyceumAbout Me: I'm a pilgrim soul of a girl with a house full of books and a coffee addiction that could slay Juan Valdez. My life is a whirl of grammar correction, good music, glue-gunning, and two pets named Hazel and Winston Churchill. I'm marrying my high school boyfriend in a formal-ish spring affair, roughly themed: "Elizabeth Bennet crashes a party co-hosted by Jay Gatsby and Cath Kidston, and loves it."
I brought it on myself. I’ll own up to that. When we started putting save the dates together, we encountered a few sticky whom-to-invite situations. I should have confronted the issues when they surfaced and taken the time to ask my family/friends/you guys for advice. Instead, I thought to myself: that sounds like a problem for future me! Well, Future Me is here now, and she HATES Former Me for her negligence.
Children…?
Oh, the children issue. We thought we’d skirted it because, when we got engaged, we barely knew anyone with kids under 10. But now our invitation list has changed and currently includes several people with young kids. Our reception is really not kid friendly—a historical property for which we carry a hefty event insurance policy, there’s an open bar, probably cigars for the patio, etc. My mom assured me that most people won’t even want to bring their kids—much more fun to have a grown-up evening to eat a nice dinner, dance and utilize the open bar. I guess we’ll see what happens. If young kids show up on RSVPs, I may hire a babysitter/RN/whatever classifications are important to parents and have him/her available in the downstairs rec room of our venue. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. No biggie.
Mrs. Pain au Chocolat, Wilmington, DEAge and Occupation: 29, RealtorFiance's Age and Occupation: 34, RealtorEngagement Date: November 21, 2009Wedding Date: June 2011Venue: Greenville Country ClubAbout Me: An ENFJ with an artistic streak who loves backgammon, sailing, graphic design, and sleeping in. Travel (near or far), good wine, and tasty food makes my heart sing. I'm a compulsive list-maker who lives to plan and organize. Mr. P and I have lived together for 4 years, all the while renovating our city townhome bit by bit. We're planning a whimsical, Anthropologie-inspired garden wedding in June 2011.
I have a newfound pet peeve: wedding guests posting pictures on Facebook (or some other public site) without running it by the bride or groom. And this new pet peeve runs counter to my previous position. Before we got engaged and I started paying attention to what is/is not polite, I didn’t think anything of uploading wedding pics. (In fact, I did it as recently as New Year’s Eve 2009.) So what changed my hypocritical mind?
Mrs. Bacon, ChicagoAge and Occupation: 26, Digital Advertising ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 25, IT Client ServicesEngagement Date: June 17, 2010Wedding Date: September 2011Venue: Ravenswood Billboard FactoryAbout Me: I'm a Midwestern girl that can't seem to commit to staying in one place for too long and is constantly daydreaming about my next adventure. I am an aspiring foodie with a weak spot for the unusual and I love semi-reality food television. My other loves easily include laughing as a form of exercise, a book that I can't put down, summer baseball games, espresso with whipped cream, couch potato days and nights with the ridiculous Mr. Bacon, and our two kitties, Lincoln and Sawyer. We're planning a faux-destination wedding for 150 of our closest friends and family in the city we've both adopted as home that has a modern, yet whimsical twist and as many personal touches as we can manage.
I have a secret to share with you that only our parents know. We are planning an adults-only wedding.
The flower girl and ring bearer are going to be the only kids in attendance…and Mr. Bacon’s little brother, but he’s going to be 17 and in the wedding party, so he hardly counts. You see, we LOVE kids. Adore them. Can’t wait to have a gaggle of them when we’re in our 30s. In fact, I have to refrain from waving at toddlers in restaurants and baby-talking to our cats. So why not have them at the wedding?
The wedding is just not that kid friendly. There are going to be tons of candles, lots of breakable things, really loud music, and an open bar (and all of the adult debauchery that comes with that), and the kids will get BORED. I’m also going to sound like a terrible person here, but I really hate the possibility of crying kids ruining the ceremony. I know that it might happen with the FG and RB, but that’s only two kids. If all our friends and family brought their little ones, there’s an 85% chance of someone screaming during a reading or our vows.
Ms. Sloth, PhiladelphiaAge and Occupation: 35, Account Manager and Fashion BloggerFiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Design AdminEngagement Date: December 25, 2009Wedding Date: May 2011Venue: Bartram's GardenAbout Me: I'm an internet junkie and music snob with a good eye for a bargain. I couldn't live without thrift store shopping, cheeseburgers, sushi, Coke Zero, websites devoted to silly photos of baby animals, Photoshop, and Mr. Sloth. Speaking of which, he and I are a pair of goofball homebody nerds who love our beagle (the most ridiculously adorable dog EVER) to an embarrassing degree. We're planning a low-key and intimate yet festive and quirky outdoor wedding with DIY details and deeply personal touches, and it's all taking place in the city where we fell in love and call home: Philadelphia.
As I’ve mentioned before, I will be attending a wedding this weekend. It’s the wedding of my oldest friend—he and I have been close for over twenty years, since we were just kids, and I am stoked!
This past weekend, I realized that we still needed to figure out a wedding gift for the happy couple. My friend and his fiancé didn’t register; there was no shower and they’ve been living together for years in a lovely home and have everything they need. So, obviously, a good thing to do would be to give the old standby: cash.
Mr. S and I almost always give cash as a wedding present, but it brings up an interesting (and perhaps taboo?) question—how much cash to give? Read more…
Mrs. Prairie Dog, Cincinnati
Age and Occupation: 24, Program CoordinatorFiance's Age and Occupation: 25, PhD/Biomedical EngineerEngagement Date: December 18, 2009Wedding Date: May 2011Venue: Glendale LyceumAbout Me: I'm a pilgrim soul of a girl with a house full of books and a coffee addiction that could slay Juan Valdez. My life is a whirl of grammar correction, good music, glue-gunning, and two pets named Hazel and Winston Churchill. I'm marrying my high school boyfriend in a formal-ish spring affair, roughly themed: "Elizabeth Bennet crashes a party co-hosted by Jay Gatsby and Cath Kidston, and loves it."
I swear, the “etiquette” part of addressing envelopes is driving. me. batty.
What I really wanted to do was this: Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith.
This is how I would want something addressed to me and Mr. PD if we shared the same last name. When I asked my mom, her Southern upbringing chimed in, and I ceded. Because…while I would crinkle my nose at receiving an invitation addressed to us as “Mr. & Mrs. John Smith,” Mr. PD’s grandmother, for example, would crinkle her nose at NOT being addressed that way. With a sigh, I just did it. Read more…
Mrs. Tartlet, Rochester, MIAge and Occupation: Age & Occupation: 27, Post-Doctoral Research FellowFiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Medical StudentEngagement Date: May 2, 2009Wedding Date: May 2011Venue: The Royal Park HotelAbout Me: I'm an exuberant gal from the Midwest with a penchant for Neuroscience and anything sparkly. I'm not afraid to poke fun at myself, and I'm a believer that given the right pair of shoes, a girl can conquer the world. While an interest in the sciences threw Mr. Tartlet and me together (again, and again, until it finally stuck), we share a love for many things---food, video games, car dancing, food, bad puns, travel, did I mention food?---that ultimately led us to where we are now, less than five months from becoming Mr. and Mrs. We're planning a laid-back, romantic, garden-inspired affair with organic and quirky touches that reflect our love for the unexpected!
Mrs. Cardigan, AustinAge and Occupation: 21, Student/Soon-to-be Special Education TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 20, Student/Soon-to-be Accounting Systems AnalystEngagement Date: August 16, 2009Wedding Date: January 2011Venue: Vintage VillasAbout Me: I'm a native Austinite who was raised as a die-hard Aggie. Luckily, I'm a pretty persuasive girl because I managed to convince my high school boyfriend (now fiance!), Mr. Cardigan, to ditch his hardcore Longhorn ways and join me up at A&M, where we currently reside with our adorable dogs, Cullen & Ranger. We're currently planning a bright, cheery wedding with a ridiculous amount of DIY projects that I can't wait to tackle! I love crafting in any form, reading, and margaritas (I think I love them the most!). Organization is what keeps me sane and I love helping others, which is probably why I ended up as an education major. It gets a little chaotic sometimes when you're planning a wedding among all of the papers, projects, finals, and certification exams, but we're having the time of our lives and we can't wait to get started on our journey as husband and wife - and we're so excited to share our wedding with the hive!
I got my issue of Brides magazine in the mail today, and for once I found something really useful in it! I’m not sure how I even got a subscription to it, but I have one and I’ve found that it (along with most wedding magazines) tends to have the same articles every month, just written slightly differently. It’s probably much more useful if you’re newly engaged, but for someone like me who has been engaged for what feels like FOREVER it’s definitely less than helpful.
Anyways, I was flipping through it and I saw an article that I was actually really excited about! I immediately ripped the page out so I could save it, and I thought y’all might appreciate how helpful it is.
Ms. Sloth, PhiladelphiaAge and Occupation: 35, Account Manager and Fashion BloggerFiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Design AdminEngagement Date: December 25, 2009Wedding Date: May 2011Venue: Bartram's GardenAbout Me: I'm an internet junkie and music snob with a good eye for a bargain. I couldn't live without thrift store shopping, cheeseburgers, sushi, Coke Zero, websites devoted to silly photos of baby animals, Photoshop, and Mr. Sloth. Speaking of which, he and I are a pair of goofball homebody nerds who love our beagle (the most ridiculously adorable dog EVER) to an embarrassing degree. We're planning a low-key and intimate yet festive and quirky outdoor wedding with DIY details and deeply personal touches, and it's all taking place in the city where we fell in love and call home: Philadelphia.
Sometimes, when I get all bogged down in wedding planning, I try to step back and think about the most memorable weddings I’ve attended. I’ve been to probably 25 or 30 weddings, but why does this handful stick in my mind?
So, I’ve delved deep into my memory and analyzed some of the best and worst weddings I’ve attended. What can I learn from the weddings I’ve been to?
Mrs. Glasses, Tokyo/Los Angeles, CAAge and Occupation: 24, English teacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 27, English teacherEngagement Date: September 2008Wedding Date: October 2010 Venue: Parents' backyardAbout Me: I’m an expat living in Tokyo. I’ve been in Japan for almost three years now, where I met my fantastic English fiance. It’s time to leave Japan, so we are planning a fun, intimate, backyard ceremony back home in the suburbs of L.A. in October. Our wedding will be a mix of my love for food, beer, my Japanese culture, and Mr. G’s Englishness. We are on a tiny budget and DIYing almost everything!
Allow me to take a brief interlude from recaps to vent some rage. I have been, and always will be, keeping it real with the hive. While our wedding day was fabulous, fun, amazing, etc. there was some truly awful behavior demonstrated by our guests. I want to talk about how to be a good guest in the realest way possible so that (hopefully) future brides will be prepared for what to expect. Now when I say you, you know I don’t mean you, right? I mean the heinous people that might potentially pull these faux pas, and yes, some of our guests. Not you. You’re lovely.
So you’ve sent in your RSVP (promptly, of course) and now your etiquette duties are over, right? Nope! First of all, don’t bother the bride and groom close to the wedding. I cannot tell you how many needy phone calls I got the days leading up to the wedding. Read more…
Mrs. Trail Mix, New YorkAge and Occupation: 26, PE TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 27, MBA StudentEngagement Date: March 2009Wedding Date: June 2010Venue: Tannery Pond at the Darrow SchoolAbout Me: I'm a country girl who somehow found herself living in the Big Apple and loving every minute of it. I'm planning a rustic, country-chic wedding in my hometown in upstate New York and it's going to be a Party with a capital P. White wine, flea markets and running keep me happy and my friends, family and fiance are my world. I'm a little bit crafty, a little bit crazy but mostly just crazy in love.
Hey there, hive. I’d like your input on this one. Allow me to elaborate…We have friends who are celebrating their engagement with a fairly fancy-schmancy party (woohoo, I love fancy parties!) in a few weeks. Great, grand, wonderful, right? Right, but I want everyone’s opinions on something—the gift for the party.
I was browsing their registries yesterday (one was at Crate & Barrel and the other was at Bloomingdale’s) and couldn’t quite come up with a suitable present. (I’m mega-weird about presents. Don’t ask.) While the stuff at Crate & Barrel was nice, it lacked a certain j’ne sais quoi. I guess I think presents should be special, something splurge worthy, and nothing from C & B really jumped out screaming at me as the perfect gift.
Which leaves the Bloomingdale’s registry. Suh-weeeet! Well, here’s the thing:They registered (as many couples do) for a set of fine china for twelve. Beautiful stuff (from Bernardaud—yum), but fairly expensive for a plate.
Ms. Cheetah, Los Angeles/Palm Springs
Age and Occupation: 31, Artist, EducatorFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, TV FinanceEngagement Date: April 2010Wedding Date: March 2011Venue: The ViceroyAbout Me: I’m a silly, sassy lady with a compulsion to create. I love to sing and dance, despite the fact that I lack any talent doing either. I somehow manage to be messy and organized at the same time. I like to spend my days road tripping, watching '80s movies, reading true crime books, buying things on sale, sending postcards, playing board games, dining at food trucks, snuggling, and drinking ginger ale. I have a weak spot for all things sweet, especially Mr. Cheetah! I’m a Chicago girl and he’s a Nor Cal boy but we love living in the City of Angels. After 10 years as a couple we are planning a fun-filled semi-destination wedding in Palm Springs. Hope you enjoy the ride!
Mrs. Cardigan, AustinAge and Occupation: 21, Student/Soon-to-be Special Education TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 20, Student/Soon-to-be Accounting Systems AnalystEngagement Date: August 16, 2009Wedding Date: January 2011Venue: Vintage VillasAbout Me: I'm a native Austinite who was raised as a die-hard Aggie. Luckily, I'm a pretty persuasive girl because I managed to convince my high school boyfriend (now fiance!), Mr. Cardigan, to ditch his hardcore Longhorn ways and join me up at A&M, where we currently reside with our adorable dogs, Cullen & Ranger. We're currently planning a bright, cheery wedding with a ridiculous amount of DIY projects that I can't wait to tackle! I love crafting in any form, reading, and margaritas (I think I love them the most!). Organization is what keeps me sane and I love helping others, which is probably why I ended up as an education major. It gets a little chaotic sometimes when you're planning a wedding among all of the papers, projects, finals, and certification exams, but we're having the time of our lives and we can't wait to get started on our journey as husband and wife - and we're so excited to share our wedding with the hive!
Mr. Cardy and I love you. We really, truly do. You obviously mean a lot to us, or we wouldn’t have invited you to participate in such a monumental day in our lives.
Mrs. Panther, Atlanta GA/Westport CTAge and Occupation: 24, Web WriterFiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Music Recording EngineerEngagement Date: March 13, 2010Wedding Date: July 2011Venue: The Inn at LongshoreAbout Me: I'm a total goofball who goes through life at a breakneck pace, trying not to knock anything over. I tend to fall in love with everything I encounter, but more than anything, I love my two little kitties, Bela and Josie, and my big kitty, Mr. Panther! As a wannabe crafter, I'm still waiting for my artistic talents to emerge. (Any day now, really.) In the meantime, I spend my days eating anything put in front of me, buying every pair of shoes I see and absorbing wedding inspiration from every inch of my surroundings. Mr. Panther and I are hardcore New Englanders planning Connecticut nuptials from our new home in the Dirty South, and can't wait to mix our newfound love of classic Southern charm with some modern city touches.
Last weekend, I had some family come visit me in Georgia. My mom stayed with Mr. Panther and me, and my aunt and uncle (Cool J’s parents) stayed with family friends. In talking to them, the topic of wedding etiquette has come up a few times. And every time I think about it, I realize how little I knew before I got engaged. Embarrassing confession time!
A little over two years ago, my aunt Rebecca (different aunt) got married. She was already pregnant, and the wedding was a bit last-minute, but nonetheless, she’d wanted to get married for a long time and was really looking forward to it. I had just moved to Atlanta and honestly was a little bewildered when she asked me to be her maid-of-honor. I was poor, lived 1000 miles away, and had never been in a wedding before—I knew I couldn’t possibly do a good job. I shared these feelings with her, but she insisted, so I planned a trip up north for the wedding.
Mrs. Frozen Yogurt, DallasAge and Occupation: 28, Special Projects CoordinatorFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Equity TraderEngagement Date: March 19, 2009Wedding Date: April 2010Venue: Marie Gabrielle, DallasAbout Me: I was born and raised in Texas, and have lived in several of the cities across the state, but I currently reside in Austin. I went to college in Boston and have a special place in my heart for the Northeast. I love reading, shopping, wine, reuniting with college friends that are scattered across the country, reality TV, trying out new recipes, and attempting all the DIY projects that come along with wedding planning. I'm a "bleeding heart, save the world type" and thankfully my job allows me to work on legislation and policy to help out those in need. I met Mr. Frozen Yogurt in a bar, though he doesn't even drink! And now we are planning a modern yet vintage wedding in Dallas while dealing with the trials and tribulations of first time homeownership.
I love this post because I was a clueless, excited, panicked mess when I first got engaged. I made the mistake of reading magazines early on that gave advice for people that were much further along in the planning process, and I freaked out. I had no idea I needed to worry about something so complex when I barely even knew what colors I was thinking of using. Let’s be honest, being engaged is a ton of fun, but it can also be stressful. I hope some of these pointers will help brides as they plan their wedding, but if not, at least you get to look at some beautiful rings (and ring boxes) in the picture.
I’ve noticed on the boards that there are quite a few newly engaged girls. Congrats to you all!! It got me thinking about how I felt when I was first engaged and all the excitement that goes along with that newly acquired status. It was awesome. I seriously could not stop grinning! Along with all that excitement comes a lot of inspiration, ideas and panic about how to make this whole wedding thing come together.
I thought this might be the perfect time to share some dos and don’ts for the newly engaged girl. Hopefully you can learn from my mistakes and triumphs.
Ms. Sloth, PhiladelphiaAge and Occupation: 35, Account Manager and Fashion BloggerFiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Design AdminEngagement Date: December 25, 2009Wedding Date: May 2011Venue: Bartram's GardenAbout Me: I'm an internet junkie and music snob with a good eye for a bargain. I couldn't live without thrift store shopping, cheeseburgers, sushi, Coke Zero, websites devoted to silly photos of baby animals, Photoshop, and Mr. Sloth. Speaking of which, he and I are a pair of goofball homebody nerds who love our beagle (the most ridiculously adorable dog EVER) to an embarrassing degree. We're planning a low-key and intimate yet festive and quirky outdoor wedding with DIY details and deeply personal touches, and it's all taking place in the city where we fell in love and call home: Philadelphia.
One of the biggest debates I’ve seen in the online bridal community is about kids at a wedding. Is it rude to have an adults-only wedding? Is it rude to bring your kid to someone’s adults-only wedding if you can’t find a sitter? Should the couple provide a babysitter for children? What about nursing babies? Should there be an age cutoff? What about family children vs. non-family children?
It’s enough to make me want to go take a nap.
When we first got engaged, I had this idea of having a gaggle of flower girls, all of our close friends’ little girls, because, well, it would be pretty. And precious. And we would end up with photos like this:
