I’ve never been a lipstick-wearing, all-dolled-up kind of girl. I can probably count on both hands the number of times I’ve worn a dress to work over my 15-year career. But putting on my wedding dress on my wedding day was one of the most amazingly girly moments of my life. Yowzers, it was thrilling.
And it was thrilling for my mother, too. Because we live two hours apart and both have busy schedules, she saw me in the wedding dress for the first time that day. I’d felt guilty about buying the dress without her seeing it, but getting her initial reaction on film (or SD card) made up for it 100%.
Hive, the Horseshoes are thisclose to our wedding month (!!). Deep breath, deep breath. Our focus over the past couple of weeks has been on finalizing our ceremony. We’ve purchased our decor, figured out our setup, written our vows, and selected our readings. There’s one aspect of our ceremony that I’ve been dragging my heels on, though…
When we first started planning our wedding, I knew that by deciding to have it in North Dakota, instead of California or Alberta, we were diminishing our numbers by a lot. The trip is expensive and long, and we accepted that a majority of our guests wouldn’t be able to make it, due to money or logistics. Going with the middle location instead of where either of our families live was a choice we made at the beginning, and while I understood this from the start, as we’ve gotten all the RSVPs and I’ve moved on to the minute details, it’s been kind of emotional to deal with.
Mr. Dove’s family will be smaller then mine at the wedding, but neither number is huge. We’ll only be having his immediate family—his parents, sisters, and one set of grandparents. None of his aunts and uncles could make the trip. I think Mr. Dove is more saddened by this then he lets on. His family is very far away and we rarely get to make the trip back, so I know he misses them. I hope that having that small group of important people there for him will make him happy.
On my side, my immediate family, two sets of aunts and uncles plus a couple other aunts will be coming. None of my grandparents are well enough to travel, and will be missed at the events. I am excited for the aunts and uncles who can make it.
The morning of the wedding I had a very unique emotion flowing through me. I was happy, I was on the best vacation I’d ever been on, I woke up in a place I was completely enamored by, and I woke up next to my very favorite human—my almost husband. It was a unique kind of happiness.
I had to round up all of the ladies who were attending the wedding because one of my gifts for them was to have their hair and makeup done.
During planning I had hair and makeup sticker shock, and I thought about finding an in-room stylist for Danielle and me. After a few conversations with people I respect and love, we opted to make this one a splurge. Why spend tons of money on hair and makeup? Because memories. Because looking back on that day, I remember the joy everyone experienced sitting in those chairs feeling pampered, and that when our photos were taken we all felt as beautiful as ever.
(I’ve been watching a lot of Friends recently, and couldn’t come up with a better title.)
We aren’t having any children in our wedding, mostly because there aren’t any close to us. And while children in weddings are mostly now for the “awwww”s that follow them down the aisle, I know that some people still have them do the traditional “carrying” of the rings. (Most of the time they’re fake, but still, it’s the idea that they’re with the children.)
Most of the time I’ve seen the best man and maid of honor just hold on to the rings till it’s time for them, and give them to the bride and groom. But in true Miss Dove style, I decided I needed to overdo something that could have been simple.
I want to take a little sidestep from talking about dresses and the exciting parts of the journey to our wedding to talk about a more somber topic. Today, February 26th, would have been my Opa’s 98th birthday.
It’s difficult for me to imagine our ceremony without thinking about my Oma sitting in the front row without him. Opa was, for many years, my biggest supporter. When I went off to college in 2007, we started writing letters to each other and only stopped last year when his eyesight deteriorated to the point that he couldn’t see the lines on the page. I kept writing to him, though, and we talked on the phone once a week.
We didn’t discuss marriage often, but when the topic came up, I loved to pick his brain for advice on his 65-year marriage to my Oma. They got married when she was 21 and he was already in his 30s, then moved to Canada from Rotterdam with $20 in their pocket shortly after WWII ended.
While I’d normally skip posting our family photos, I loved them so much I couldn’t help but want to share. They’re not incredibly creative or inspirational, but I know out of all our weddings photos, these will be the ones we treasure forever, these photos of us on the very best day with the people we love the most.
When Mr. Blue Moon and I first got engaged, one of the things I was most nervous about was working out all the little details with my parents. There was never really a question that my parents would pay for a good portion of my wedding. We are Southerners, and it was something my mom’s parents did for her, and we have always made jokes since I was a little girl about my dad footing the bill for this shindig. That said, the way this usually goes down in traditional Southern families is that since the bride’s parents are paying, the bride’s parents want (and deserve!) a lot of input in the wedding. I have a great relationship with my parents, but we are also very different people. This is my list of all the things I was initially worried about dealing with and how we are handling them…for better or worse!
1. Food. Mr. Blue Moon and I have been vegetarians for going on three years, and I never really imagined serving anything other than vegetarian food at the wedding. Many of our guests don’t eat meat, but our families both do. The menu has been a source of contention between Mom and me from the get-go. She thinks it’s bad hostessing to not offer a meat option, but I think the reception menu should be a reflection of the couple. Either way, we both want to make sure all of our guests are happy and that no one leaves hungry, but we still haven’t decided on a final menu. Thankfully, it’s just as important to my mom to help me pick out a fabulous meal for our vegetarian and vegan friends to enjoy. I hate going to weddings where I can only nibble on the veggie display!
Weddings bring out joy in connecting with people. During the planning process, as we get closer, the more people want to help and give advice and be a part of our joy. I love that there are all these people who want to assist us, and yet there are two things looming over all of the wedding planning and wedding day joy.
I was seven when my parents divorced. My dad remarried when I was in my teens, and my stepmom was always an important part of my family. My siblings and I spent tons of time on weekends and holidays with my dad and stepmom, and she was a parental figure in my life for as long as I can remember. It was such an exciting day when they finally got married in 2007, and we were all so excited to stand up with them as they did it.