- My mom is 1 of 10 children
- My dad is 1 of 8 children
What does that mean for me? I have 34 first cousins. Add to that my cousins’ spouses* and that number balloons to 54. Our guest list is quivering in its boots. (I don’t even want to get into how many second cousins and pseudo-cousins I have…this is a blog post, not an epic.)
I knew from the start that there was no way to invite all of my first cousins. The question was how to be fair about who we were inviting and who we weren’t? My extended family knows how large and in charge it is, and nobody expected me to be able to invite everyone. The tricky part was that there seemed to be no standard precedent for “the kids” in my family getting married. A few of my cousins got married and invited only my parents. Some cousins had very small courthouse weddings and just had their immediate family in attendance. Come to think of it, I’ve only attended two of my first cousins’ weddings, and I was young enough to be the flower girl in one of them.
Yet, I didn’t think reciprocation was the answer here. We decided the best course of action was to come up with a rule system and be consistent in it’s application. I’m a visual learner, so here’s a flowchart.