With all of the invitations out and (mostly) received, we’ve started getting the unwanted phone calls: “Hey, Miss Kiwi? I was just wondering if you guys invited *****?” “Hm. I’m going to have to tell you no. We didn’t invite the girl your mom went to school with 15 years ago.” Now there is a new circumstance about inviting someone who was never on the list.
My FMIL and I worked for hours addressing all the invitations. The guest list was set and run by all important members of the bridal party. Names were tossed about, some were dropped, most were agreed upon. So why did my FMIL call and ask if we’re inviting my FSIL’s husband’s sister and brother in law? After discussing the basic familial guest list for the Save the Dates, their name was mentioned by Mr. Kiwi’s sister (and MOH). We quickly vetoed as we’re already inviting MOH’s MIL/FIL.
Months ago, when we first told my matron of honor that we aren’t inviting her SIL, she was fine with it. Now that the invitations are received, why did we get phone calls asking us to please reconsider inviting the SIL and hubby? When I asked FMIL why she’d like us to invite someone we haven’t seen for literally over a year, instead of say… friends, she said it was so MOH wouldn’t get yelled at by her MIL for us not inviting her daughter.
My parents more than approve of Mr. T, but we discovered that my father is the old-fashioned type when it comes to engagements. Like, really old-fashioned — he demanded three cows as a dowry in exchange for my hand! Every time we brought up our upcoming engagement, Dad would say it couldn’t become official until he received his three cows….
Well, as with all problems in life, I turned to Ebay for the solution. I picked up this winning trio of ladies for $1.00 ($5 after shipping):

(The cows enjoying their new life in Iowa — photo vignette courtesy of Dad)

Part I: Location, location, location!
Part II: Family Matters
Part III: Get in in writing!
Part IV: All the Best (The Conclusion to the Story)
I was just about to head to bed that night, when my cell phone rang. It was FMIL.
She sounded very excited. It turns out that after she had gotten home from work, she thought some more about what I said. She said that she knows I would rather have the reception at a hotel, so she had called around and actually found another hotel that has both a Chinese and Western catering department. She apologized for calling so late, but she wanted to share the good news with me right away, and let me know that she would call them immediately the next morning to try to set something up.
I was completely humbled. I felt like this was a breakthrough (she had actually heard me). Plus, I was in the middle of feeling so frustrated to the point that I was just going to do things my way and stop making compromises, so I felt pretty guilty. The next couple days, she called me several times, giddy with excitement about all these details. I began to realize that she was so excited about this because she just really wants us to have a special, beautiful and unforgettable wedding, and that she was doing all of this for us.
Part I: Location, location, location!
Part II: Family Matters
Part III: Get it in writing!
I was in a bit of a bind. On the one hand, part of me was jumping up and down inside and saying, “This is the opportunity you have been waiting for! Tell her that you’ll handle it from here.” and “That’s exactly the problem, it’s not her wedding, it’s yours!” But another voice inside was saying, “This is a test…be careful here,” and yet another voice whispered, “Be more sensitive, she feels really hurt by the both of you.”
I wasn’t sure what the best way to respond would be, so I did the easy thing and stalled. “I will speak with Mr. D,” I said. “We’ll talk everything out and try to figure out what the best roles for everyone would be, and perhaps when we are all in LA together in a few weeks, we can sit down and discuss together.” FMIL seemed satisfied with that answer. I then called Mr. D and he agreed that was the right response; it would be better to talk about all this in person with her. Perhaps we could delegate a couple of roles to her, let her run with those, and we would handle the rest.
I’ve never actually seen that movie, but that’s what people kept saying before Mr. Petunia’s family and mine finally met! My FMIL was wonderful enough to put together this little shindig for everyone. We were all a little worried because our families couldn’t be more different. His family is, for the most part, staid and quiet and…well, I have a big Hispanic family, so, I’ll go ahead and stereotype: they’re loud! Also, my dad doesn’t speak that much English, so I thought there might be a language barrier. But it was wonderful! The Petunias are quite anti-social actually, but we were both really happy that this meeting happened and that it went so well!
Here are some pictures (I don’t know why, but I didn’t end up with too many pictures of my future in-laws! I swear that is not an indication of my not liking them. The opposite is true!)
My MOH and Mom Petunia
Back in August, I blogged about my family’s strange disinterest in my wedding, including my cousin, who didn’t RSVP, but sent me a wedding invitation in the interim.
After receiving bizarre, bitchy messages from his beebee fiancee today claiming that I “bashed” my cousin in that blog post, I will amend the blog to say that about 5 days after I posted that message, we received a gift from him.
Because naturally, my love can be bought. ![]()
Part I: Location, location, location!
Part II: Family Matters
So the venue was set and it seemed it would be smooth sailing from here on out.
Shortly before I left to fly back to SF, however, FMIL pulled out two sets of CDs. “I bought these for you,” she said, glowing with excitement. “You can choose from these songs for your wedding and for your wedding slideshow!” I wasn’t quite sure how to respond (though I think my jaw may have dropped open for a split second). I could feel the frustration starting to creep in again, but swallowed it and took the CDs with as much of a smile as I could muster up, saying that Mr. D and I would consider it. I told her we actually already had some songs in mind and were planning on having our friend play acoustic guitar during the ceremony.
“Let me explain something, Miss Daffodil,” FMIL said. “When you look back on your wedding 25 years from now, you will regret having your friends as part of the ceremony. Trust me, only your family is what will remain throughout time. Don’t worry, Mr. D’s cousins can play violin during the ceremony. Your friend can play the guitar after you and Mr. D say your vows, as you exit the church.”
Last time I shared some historic images from my family. Today I wanted to share some images from Mr. Onion’s family. First up — his parents’ wedding. His mother was 19 and his father was 25 when they got married. Doesn’t she look SO young?! She is wearing her mother’s wedding dress that was also worn by two of her sisters.
I feel like most of the girls that have been reading about me on weddingbee, have also been on the same journey I have of meeting that someone special, making a commitment, getting engaged, tying the knot and just watching what the future holds for you as a couple. Sometimes it can bring a lot of heartache and sometimes it can bring so much happiness that you feel like asking yourself “How did I get so lucky?” If two people truly do love each other and have each other’s best interest at heart, you can face any obstacle that’s thrown at you no matter what because you know you have that other person to help you and be your support.
Ok so enough corniness. You know I’m not usually like this. I have this gift of being sentimental with a touch of humor so that it’s not too serious. And the way that I know how to do it best is rhyming. I know some of you guys are like “YAY!” Someone once told me that she saw my poem that I wrote to my husband and that inspired her to write her vows in a serious but mostly fun manner and I was deeply touched. And then I’m thinking “You is a crazy bitch. I lub you!”
Anyways since I have blessed you with my lyrical charms a couple times before, here we go again. I call this “Timing Is Everything”.
7 years ago we went on a date
We made out like teenagers
You fell for the bait. (sucka)
One of the projects I just decided to take on before the wedding is a slide show to be viewed at our reception. While at home a few weekends ago, we took some time and went through old family photos. I had the fun project of scanning all the photos from my family and Mr. Onion’s brother will be sending me a disc of scanned images from their family.I wanted to share some of them with you because I’m so thrilled we have this history to share with our wedding guests, not to mention our children some day! Included in the images are wedding pictures from my parents and grandparents.
Miss Onion’s Parents at their wedding: