Weddingbee Blog

“For the modern modern couple or the angry angry ex.” $60 at Fancy Jewels

(via Stylehive)

From ForeverWed:

What Exactly Is Marriage??
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“Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don’t have to give her back to her parents” -Eric, AGE 6

“When somebody’s been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, ‘I’ll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one particular thing for me.’ Then she says yes, but she’s wondering what the thing is and whether it’s naughty or not. She can’t wait to find out.” -Anita, AGE 9

Read more…

Then why didn’t you send me a message via myspace.com?! Check out this weirdness.

I barely login to myspace.com, maybe every few months or so when someone adds me to their network. Anyway, I checked in not too long ago and found the following message in my inbox:

How odd is this craziness? Maybe it’s just spam, but it was pretty specific. I certainly didn’t have any wedding info on my myspace page. Has anyone else seen this kind of wedding bizareness?

How I wish I could have left her email address on here-it matched the mesasge perfectly.

This is an oldie but a goodie and makes all my vendor worries disappear. (For the moment!)

Anytime a bridesmaid starts to hassle you over your dress selection, refer them to this website and remind them of how bad things could really be.

UglyDress.com - Bridesmaid Dresses from Hell

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. “When we were to be married,” she said, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.” The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. “Honey,” he said, “that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?”

“Oh,” she said, “that’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”

#1 from Snowbride

A duster. Not even a feather duster but a fluffy cotton sort. Were they trying to imply my house needed to be dusted? Please!

I also received a jar of salt and a jar of pepper-but no shaker, no grinder… Just the salt and pepper inexplicably in a box.

#2 from Jamia

I’m sure there are far worse things, but this freaking hat was the worst thing EVER in the moment. It looks like a Jo-Ann Fabrics exploded on my head. And I had been having a pretty decent hair day until they made me put this on. Evil people. By the way, there was an accompanying Groom’s Ball & Chain hat. Of course. Where do people even find these things???

Read more…

My blissful morning shower was abruptly interrupted when Mr. Spider came bursting through the door in the following scene:

Him: BABE, I accidentally shaved my eyebrow!!!

Me: WHAT?!?! Why the heck were you shaving your eyebrows??!!

Him: I shaved it accidentally…

Me: Why the heck was the shaver around your eyebrows?

Him: (No Response)

This is when I step out and take a look and sure enough a huge chunk of Stinky’s left brow is missing.

Me: OMG. How did this happen?

Him: (No Response)

Read more…

The Office totally cracks me up. You gotta check out these fake public service announcements about weddings - words of wisdom! (It’ll start after the commercial.)

• Invite
• Cake

(thanks, Monsur!)

This gave me a good chuckle.

As you rest your head on the pillow for those valuable last few moments before you wake the words Good Morning Sweetheart are gently pressed onto your cheek. Even though you may feel tired and drowsy your loved one can see how you feel.

(jamesmacadam via apartmenttherapy)

Every bride needs to bookmark this website: VIRTUAL BUBBLE WRAP (best with sound)

It is like popping away every little ANNOYING thing in my life right now. Click on MANIC MODE if you are REALLY stressed out.

[via: LIWeddings.com]

How do you decide who to marry?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
-Kristen, age 10

What is the right age to get married?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
-Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-Derrick, age 8

What do you think your mum and dad have in common?

Both don’t want any more kids.
-Lori, age 8

What do most people do on a date?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-Lynnette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-Martin, age 10

What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?

I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-Craig, age 9

When is it okay to kiss someone?

When they’re rich.
-Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
-Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
-Howard, age 8

Is it better to be single or married?

I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing, I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out.
-Theodore, age 8

It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-Anita, age 9

How would the world be different if people didn’t get married?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
-Kelvin, age 8

How would you make a marriage work?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
-Ricky, age 10

(via Fongster8)