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Mr. Lovebird and I wanted to splurge a little on our bridal party gifts. We wracked our brains for weeks trying to think of something to get these guys, and decided on something any guy would love. And since we didn’t want to bring these somewhat big and heavy gifts all the way to Mexico, we thought we would have a little groomsmen get-together beforehand. We just invited them over to our place for some food and games and said “prizes will be awarded.”
the grub
A few weeks before Christmas, I sent out invitations to our wedding party. They were printed on vellum and backed by a slightly larger-cut piece of handmade art paper. The designs and paper differed for the groom’s side and the bride’s side (we each invited 5 people to stand with us).
I let Mr. Cherry Pie pick the paper and envelopes for the groomsmen. He selected a dark brown fibrous paper with swatches of tan grasses cutting through it. This is what I designed for his groomsmens’ vellum overlay (click for larger):
Since I’ve written about my complicated family tree, I thought I’d continue on with my not so symmetrical bridal party. When Mr. Flamingo and I decided on who would take part in our special day… it wasn’t that complicated. Thanks to the great feature from David’s Bridal called Dress your wedding, I am happy to present you our almost perfect Bridal Party.
No kidding, I love the fact that it is not equal. Adds a little kick to the whole thing.
It was pretty easy to choose my bridesmaids. *coughladiesinwaitingcough*
I based my decisions on their looks (joking), personalities, proximity to the wedding location, and willingness to do my bidding. (muahahahahahaha) Family was an obvious first pick - that took care of three bridesmaids. Then came my dear friend (who was terrified when I emailed her a web guide for bridesmaids the day after I got engaged… hehehe… oops), whom I chose not only as a fantastic friend, but a BM who would be the calm, patient one when I invariably lose it on my wedding morning… 
And then I had to pick my maid of honour.
I had two options:
My beautiful, beautiful best friend of ten years?
(picture from when she went away to work in an AIDS orphanage in Africa)
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Who to have in your wedding party can be a difficult decision. Many brides have their sisters and best friends and I’ve seen many grooms include their brothers, fathers and best friends (huh, I’ve never seen the bride’s mother in the weeding party… have you)? But when it comes to including the bride’s brother and the groom’s sister, things can get big quickly.
Mrs. Snow Pea’s large and lovely wedding party. Photo by Henry Chan
The decision to fire our wedding party wasn’t one we made lightly. But once we’d made it, I felt such weight drop from my shoulders that honestly, I felt like a bride reborn.
It began when my maid of honor and I had a falling out. It was actually a long time coming: she and I had somehow dysfunctionally evolved into a pair of “frenemies” with a lot of weird vibes between us. Oddly enough, I didn’t actually ever ask her to fill the role. But she used to joke that I’d better crown her MOH upon my engagement “or else.” When it happened, there wasn’t any discussion or anything. She just was.
When it became clear that our rift was permanent, bridesmaid #2, being closer to MOH than to me, jumped ship out of solidarity. Her actual words, before she hung up on me, were “Well, I’m J-’s friend first, so I guess just good luck and have a nice wedding, and a nice life.”
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
Though I’ve mentioned them in passing before, Mr. Hummingbird and I are having a nontraditional wedding party. We both have male and female friends so it seemed important to honour those relationships on our big day instead of trying to force ourselves to fit some sort of wedding party mode. Also, having people of different sexes on each side of the bridal party worked out kind of nicely in that there was no need to rank anyone (MOH over Bridesmaid) and everyone got his or her own special title. (For our rehearsal dinner, I’ve been joking about making them all name tags laden with ribbon and glitter . . . you know to boost the special.)
Anyway enough about craft supplies, on to who we picked!
On my side of things, standing up for me I have my Matron of Honour Erin (Hi Erin!) and my Man of Honour Greg.
Erin is my sister in law and an absolute sweetheart. She’s always been supportive of my relationship with Mr. Hummingbird and was a great help when we first started planning by helping me with my silly floundering bride questions and giving me planning advice. Plus, as an only child, it’s kind of cool to get to be going through this phase with a “sister,” even if it’s one through marriage.
For me, picking my bridal party was quite simple. My sister will be my maid of honor, and my other younger sister, my cousin, and Mr. Toucan’s sister will be bridesmaids. Mr. Toucan had no problem picking who was going to be on his side on our big day. His issue is picking the best man.
Mr. Toucan’s Band of Merry Men (a term coined by Mr. Toucan’s Mom) includes his four best friends from high school. He has an equally close, but different kind of relationship with all of them, and therefore, has a tough time choosing one of them to be his “Best Man.” The guys already all know they are in the wedding party, and that one of them will be the best man. They’ve even joked that they should play a game of Risk or some video game in which the winner or “best” man gets to be the “Best Man.”
Now that it’s time to start thinking about programs, and such, I’ve told Mr. Toucan that he should try to decide soon. I’ve suggested that he could make them all his “Best Men,” because after all, they are. He’s still undecided on what to do.
How do you think Mr. Toucan should decide? Have any of you or your SO’s had issues picking your bridal party? What did you decide?
The very first DIY project Mr. Lovebird and I undertook together was working on how to ask our groomsmen if they would honor us by being in our wedding party. I always liked the idea of personalized water bottles, like Mrs. Firefly and Mrs. Caterpillar did, so I bounced that idea off of him and said maybe we can do beer bottles instead. After scouring the net for some bottle label images via Google Images, we settled on good old Guinness.
Selecting bridesmaids and groomsmen wasn’t as easy as we thought it’d be. I’m very close to my family and have many cousins as well as many friends I would consider for bridesmaids. Mr. C has a huge crew of high school and college friends that he’s very close to as well. I have two younger brothers and Mr. C has a younger sister. We decided not to include siblings in the wedding party because:
- They’re already in the wedding and participating in a huge way just because they’re family
- It’s a lot of pressure. One of my brothers and Mr. C’s sister is the same age and they both just graduated college and started their first year of work. It’s too much for them right now.
- I don’t think Mr. C wants my bros at his bachelor party. JK! He said that they are welcome to attend and would even encourage it. We’ll see…
They being the groomsmen. And that my friends, is where I draw the line. I was fine with the cow costume and unitard for the engagement party. A little annoyed, but fine.
Now if they had mullets and “pedophile staches” (as they like to call them) to begin with, then that would be one thing. Mr. Strawberry and I would have known what we were getting ourselves into. But growing them out SPECIFICALLY for the wedding–irks me.
I’m not one of those girls that is constantly saying “This is MY day”. I just don’t feel that way. It’s about Mr. Strawberry and I, our family and friends. But the boys want to be the center of attention and have our wedding photos circulated around the web–their mullets and staches front and center. Over my dead body.
I’ve come up with a brilliant idea to foil their “brilliant idea”. I’m going to let them grow their hair out. I’m going to support it. And then, I’m going to roofie them and shave their heads.
Like most couples these days, we had a dickens of a time deciding how to thank our wedding party for all that they did to make our day so special, and for the friendship and love that they have given us over the years. It is so hard to sum that up in a couple of small gifts! Do you go with tried and true ideas like flasks and terry cloth robes, or do you get more individualized gifts for each person? We are getting up there in age as wel,l so our friends and family have been a part of many weddings and we didn’t want to duplicate gifts they would have already received from other brides and grooms. On top of all of that you have the etiquette rules to follow like, “Something that you purchase for your maids/men to wear on the wedding day is not a gift for them, it is you dictating what they will wear” etc…
We eventually ended up with a hybrid of all of that. We paid for our Best Man’s tux rental, purchased his VANS to wear that day and then also bought him this sweet ass crib board since he loves both hockey and playing crib!
Mr. Lemon and I took different approaches to the bridal party gifts. I went and got all of my girls the exact same thing. He, on the other hand, went in search of something different for his guys.
For the girls:
Early on the Friday morning of our wedding weekend, Mr. Lemon will be getting ready for the rehearsal here:
You may not live in Los Angeles, but I’m sure you’ve seen your share of “Team Aniston/Jolie; Paris/Nicole; Nick/Jessica” shirts to last a lifetime. Well, if that’s the case, then please close your eyes and try your best to skip over my post for the rest of the day! 
Long, long ago… back in those early days of the wedding plans, Mr. Lemon passed someone wearing one of these TEAM shirts and wished aloud for our own versions of them for the wedding party. So… skip forward to last week and add some stencils, white paint and some spiffy shirts from Jiffyshirts and his wish was granted and taken to Las Vegas and Palm Springs for the weekend.
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