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This past Wednesday, Project Wedding sent me their daily email (where they count down every. single. day. - gotta give ’em credit) with the title “Start Building Your Immunity Now.” At first I laughed - this? thrown in among the reasons buttercream tastes better than fondant and what to gift your bridesmaids and how to find a photographer? - but a second thought made me stifle that laugh. We all focus on wanting to look our best for the big day, but what about feeling our best, physically? I’d say that should rank pretty high, as well.
Image via Project Wedding
Of course I was extra sensitive to this whole immunity/feel-your-best stuff since I just went through a pretty terrible bought of food poisoning on Monday (fabulous way to lose 5 pounds, by the way). I distinctly remember a moment, in the midst of all the grossness, that I thought “god HELP me if I get food poisoning the night before the wedding,” or heck - even the week of the wedding.
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…even worse than the one I used to know. It’s been said, extremely misogynistically, that once you put a wedding ring on a woman, she blows up like a balloon. This statement makes me extremely angry. First of all, maybe women tend to get fat post-wedding because they’re having kids or their metabolisms are slowing down. Maybe it’s because women tend to have a higher percentage of body fat than men. Regardless, it’s really not anyone’s business, and it’s horrifying that not only do women have to struggle to look perfect on their wedding day, but now we also have to worry about gaining the newlywed nine and becoming a statistic.
That being said…I am really looking forward to being able to eat whatever I want after the wedding. OK, I’ll be real: my diet since the proposal hasn’t changed that much, but I am definitely depriving myself of some of my old favorite artery-cloggers, and my patience is wearing thin (unlike my waistband—not fair). Before the ring (B.R. from now on), I ate Frosted Mini Wheats with skim milk for breakfast; now I eat a banana. B.R. I ate a salad, two servings of fruit, and a bag of Triscuits with a Diet Pepsi for lunch. Now I’ve replaced the Triscuits with another serving of fruit (who knew those little buggers had so many calories???), and I’ve done away with the pop. B.R. dinner was a free-for-all, and weekends? I’m too ashamed to mention them. Now I try to eat a Lean Cuisine for dins. Weekends are still too shameful for me to write about. I may or may not be eating chocolate chips from the bag as I type…
Image via Kells Craft / Edited by me
My wedding dress was discontinued shortly before I started my wedding-dress search. I was lucky enough to stumble upon a sample of this lovely gown at a bridal salon in Los Angeles. Furthermore, because the dress could no longer be ordered, the salon was selling the dress at a deep discount: 67% off. The only catch to this sweet price? I had to accept that particular dress on that particular day. I couldn’t get the dress in a different color. I couldn’t get it with a different hem length. And, most importantly, I couldn’t get it in a different size. It was going to be size 10 or bust (out of the seams).
The dress fit perfectly. Yet realizing this gave me serious pause: a size 10 is both a smaller size and a bigger size than I ever imagined being on my wedding day. Say what? Let me explain.
Growing up, I struggled with my weight. By struggled with my weight, I really mean that I struggled with being overweight. I was fairly active in sports, but I was always the heaviest one on the softball or swim team. I grew to be a junior size 9 before I even graduated into junior high. I bounced between a 10 and a 14 in high school. In college, I maintained a size 14–16. I lacked confidence, so I hid my body behind oversized cardigans and baggy sweatshirts. I also wore a lot of black, clinging to the idea that it was “slimming.” At my highest, I probably weighed 230 pounds.
Trying to blend into the background
So if anyone had told a younger version of me that someday I would walk down the aisle in a size 10 wedding gown, strapless no less, I would have been shocked.
Who doesn’t want to look and feel their best at their wedding?
Hey look! It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s one of those things that makes so much sense and is so easy to say but isn’t easily done!
Even in the face of some serious and some trivial pressures, I’ve managed to fa la la la la fail in this area so far. Where some brides might feel like they need to lose five pounds because they’re getting married and that’s what good brides do, I need to lose closer to ten times that because I’m honestly at an unbelievably unhealthy weight. Am I dying a little inside as I share this? Yup, but seriously, catch a side profile—it’s not like it’s a secret. I guess shout out to Mr. Raccoon for sticking with me through all of the ballooning. Sorry for the bait and switch; you’re a good guy.
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Disclaimer: This post talks a lot about teeth. In particular, bad teeth. If for some reason you are sensitive to such a topic or just plain don’t want to hear about it, kindly feel free to skip this one. 
Today marks 22 days until our wedding. I’ll soon (as in a few hours) be leaving to Las Vegas for my bachelorette party and I know when I return I’ll only need blink twice and November 11th will be here. With that said, I can’t quite be excited yet. Having been engaged for just a couple months shy of two years, I was certain that I’d be overcome with joy (and perhaps nerves) once the under-30-days mark hit.
But, as I said, I can’t be excited quite yet.
You see, about four months ago I chipped a molar while eating a chocolate chip. Yeah. A chocolate chip (I told you I was a chocaholic). Anyway, seeing as how I currently have no dental insurance, I thought I’d be okay with just thorough brushes twice a day, some mouth rinses and (since I’m being honest, occasional) flossing. Well, all was fine until about three weeks ago when I notice a bump below the gum line of my broken tooth. My heart sank because I knew what this was—an abscess. Considering abscesses are signs of infection, I knew I needed to seek prompt dental care.
Cue the full-blown anxiety attack.
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Preface: This is a wordy post, but please hang in there with me if you can! I’m in no way offering any medical advice or promoting or advocating any weight-loss program. This is simply my experience.
I’ve been debating writing this post, but I want to be open and honest with my fellow bees.
It is no secret that I am a plus-sized gal. I’ve struggled with my weight most of my life. My weight gain really started my freshman year of high school. Having the freedom to buy whatever I wanted for lunch and the fact that I no longer played sports (I was a cheerleader, played volleyball and softball, and was a dancer in grade school) was a dangerous mix that resulted in way too many calories consumed and hardly any being burned.
I was still under 200 pounds when I started college, but each year more and more weight was added. I went to school full time, worked a part-time job, and left no time to take care of myself. My senior year, I lived in an apartment with three other girls. One of those girls, D, was super into eating healthy and exercising. We started working out together (Tae Bo!) and, soon enough, I had lost some weight and really toned up. I was so happy the day I could make it through the entire tape without stopping for a break!
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
They say that weddings are one of the most stressful events of your life, up there on the list with death of a spouse, divorce, jail and illness. Apparently changing jobs can be very stressful life events as well. This year both Mr. Funnel Cake and I have changed jobs and in my case, it was very, very stressful.
In all honesty, this year has probably been one of the most stressful ones we have gone through together. I took this stress level test and scored nearly 400 points. It doesn’t even include anything on there about scares with your residence permit, stress coping with language difficulties in a foreign country and general fear of deportation and separation. With all that stress, it wasn’t a surprise when I wound up at the doctor’s office this summer and was told I have mono. Great. Now I was stressed and extraordinarily tired.
For me, thinking about the wedding has been a happy place in what have been some dark moments at times. Sometimes riding the commute home, I would take my mind to a dream where I am surrounded by loving family and friends and my soul is filled with warmth and serenity. That sounds incredibly cheesy, but the wedding has been my beacon of light. If daydreaming about cake toppers makes me happier, by golly I’ll fantasize!
So, everyone around the hive seems to be talking about weight and getting healthy for the wedding, and I thought I should jump on the bandwagon before it’s too late.
**Disclaimer: This post is very personal in nature, and I discuss some difficult emotional struggles that affected my weight and overall health. I haven’t shared the details of my struggle with many people before, but I want to be honest about my journey toward healthy living, and I hope that others will find encouragement from my story. I welcome any comments, feedback, and questions; I just ask that you please be sensitive and respectful.
Also, I have no shame when it comes to photography, so get ready for some pictures of me looking ridiculous.**
Growing up, I was the skinny girl. I was the girl who ate bacon cheeseburgers, drank a ton of surgery soda, never exercised regularly, and was still skinny. I had a fast metabolism and enjoyed every sweet moment of it. Looking back, even I hate me.
Summer 2007 / Personal Photo
Before I tell you about me, let’s talk about you. Hive, your outpouring of support and encouragement for my initial shedding posts overwhelmed me! I was nervous to share and you dispelled my fear. Your comments ran the spectrum of weight loss options, from quick fixes to long-term lifestyle change. Diet, exercise, how-to books and motivating pictures—oh my! Please accept my gratitude, I’ve read all the feedback twice over and it means a lot to have you there on my journey. From the bottom of my teacup heart, thank you!
Image via The Tea Cosy
When we last left off, I was debating the merits of Weight Watchers vs. Jenny Craig. WW received the vast majority of positive feedback and I agree wholeheartedly with the concepts they teach. Based on my needs and lifestyle, I chose the road less traveled. Allow me to introduce my new BFF, Jenny!
Like many brides before me, at the beginning of our engagement (a whole 15 months ago) I vowed to lose weight and get in better shape.
Don’t get me wrong - I consider myself to be fairly thin, and understand that I am not overweight for my height and body type. However, I had gained weight in the years since college, and wanted to look more lean and toned. Not only that, but I wanted to feel better. We’re talking about my wedding day, after all! I wanted to look as good as I possibly could, and be healthier to boot.
So, alongside Mr. CA, I started eating even better than we had been previously, and exercising.
The real kick in the butt was when I went to try on wedding dresses. I was shocked that the dresses I tried on had such tiny sizes. To give you an idea: I generally wear a size 4 in dresses. The dress I ended up purchasing was a size 10. A TEN. What is the deal with that?? How is that possible? I honestly do not understand how their sizing is so different from regular clothing. Even though I knew the sizing was irregular, it made me really self-conscious and worried about my weight.
Nevertheless, I waxed and waned in my exercising over the next few months - going through spurts of sustained work-outs, then lapsing into indolence.
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Hi there! I know I said I was going to take the summer off of wedding blogging but I wanted to share some recent successes that Mr P have achieved. Mr Pretzel and I recently lost some weight together and it got me thinking: Why didn’t we do this before the wedding?
Before the wedding, both Mr P and I were about 20 lbs heavier than our ideal. We had both gained the weight during our courtship due to our mutual love of beer and cooking. We ate healthy, but our portion sizes were a bit too big and our activity level dropped the year that we were planning the wedding. I was worried about juggling a diet, workout routine, and wedding planning on top of our already busy lives so I made a decision for myself and ultimately for both of us: no trying to lose weight before the wedding.
Photo by Rocktographer & Friend Jason Tang
After the wedding our busy lives continued to be busy. We cooked a lot of yummy meals in our first 6 months and then slowly we started to eat out more and cooking less. Soon another 10 lbs had crept up. I was the heaviest I had ever been and I did not like the way I felt.
It wasn’t so long ago that I would be ashamed to admit feeling like my favorite Ben & Jerry’s flavor, Chunky Monkey.
{For the girls of the night chat!} / Image via Flickr / Photo credit: cromatophobe
Food is an easier control for me than exercise. I know you need both, but a girl can only accomplish so much in a day.
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Bear with me, Hive, I need to get real for a minute. This has been me for the past 10 months with regard to my ’few’ extra pounds:
{Nothing ’more’ to see here} / Image via LOLcats
I’m sure you’ve heard of the ’freshman fifteen’…
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All in the name of fitting into a wedding dress while feeling good about myself, I started exercising almost immediately after Mr. Ladyfingers put a ring on it. I’d never been much of an exerciser, nor a dieter. I’ve been lucky to have never struggled with body image, unlike so many of my friends, but for about a year before the engagement, I’d really been letting myself go. When my clothes stopped fitting me, when I started eating a candy bar and a bag of chips every day, when I grabbed fast food on my way from one place to another four out of seven days a week, when I bought Ben and Jerry’s by the twos and sometimes even ate two dinners in one night—one at around 5 PM and another at 10 when I got home…well, it made me feel super crappy about myself.
Image via My Cat Hates You
On top of juggling school, work, and wedding planning, I have added yet another item to my already overflowing list of things to do: lose weight. I am currently 223 pounds. I’m a size 16 (which is down from 245 and a size 18). There, I said it—I’m not ashamed to admit my weight to all of you guys (well, just a little). I have yet to order my dress in hopes of losing weight. However, I have a problem that keeps me from losing it easily. I am a COE. This stands for a compulsive over-eater. More simply put, I am addicted to food and cannot always control what I put into my body. I would binge eat, up to 3,000 calories in a sitting. Then I would feel guilty about eating that way and would consciously be very careful about what I ate, hardly eating anything at all until I would lapse and do it again. This is what caused me to go from being 170 (a size 12) my freshman year of college, to being the size I am now. I gained almost 80 pounds in six years. The cycle was devastating to me. But good news: I have not binged in a year. Which is why I have managed to lose 20 pounds. But I have so much more to go: my ideal weight is 160.
So what am I doing to lose this weight? Well, several things.
The first:
Image via Demonoid.me
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