The Future In-Laws
March 6th, 2008 @ 2:31 pm by Mrs. Toucan
I am super, SUPER fortunate to have future-in-laws that I not only get along with, but really, really like! Just the other night, I had a quick question for my FMIL. Mr. Toucan was out playing trivia with his work buddies, so I decided to just call her up myself. The “quick question” should have only been a 2 minute phone call, but we ended up chatting for an hour and a half!
So tell me, how’s your relationship with your in-laws/future in-laws? Do you get along, or are FMIL Toucan and I freaks of nature?
Be My Friend, Not My Mom.
January 28th, 2008 @ 4:57 pm by Mrs. Lovebug
If you had to choose one word to describe your relationship with your future mother-in-law, what would it be? What would you want it to be? For me, being able to answer this question truthfully has been one of the greatest things to come from planning our wedding.
As a child, Mr. Lovebug had a soccer mom. A make-the-Halloween-costumes-by-hand mom. A never-miss-a-single-important-event mom. A doting, expressive, and very available PTA mom. I had one, too. Only, mine isn’t around any more, for a handful of those complicated yet devastatingly simple reasons that life sometimes dishes out. And if there’s one thing I’m not looking for, it’s a replacement.
I know; that’s a shockingly cold thing to say, isn’t it? Particularly when the woman in question is an effusive, bubbly sweetheart of a mother, just dying to pull me under her wing and into the nest. I mean, really. She calls me her “kidlet”, which is just about the cutest thing ever, right?
Only, why does it make me feel like a phony? Am I an ungrateful brat, for not wanting that?
Meet The Parents
January 24th, 2008 @ 2:09 pm by Mrs. Canary
Mr. Canary and I have been engaged for almost a year. (I can’t believe it!) Time has flown so quickly and now we’re getting ready to move into our new home (finally!) and finish planning the wedding. But one big thing that hasn’t happened? Our parents have yet to meet. We had initially planned a meeting of our families for the summer of 2007, but both our fathers travel frequently for work, so with the scheduling conflicts, our parents will not meet for the first time until tomorrow night!
We have a great individual relationship with each set of parents– I met Mr. Canary’s parents at the very beginning of our relationship and have since exchanged birthday/holiday gifts, frequent emails and visited often with the future-in-laws, whereas Mr. Canary currently lives with me at my parents’ house and sees Mama and Papa Canary every day.
I am a bit anxious and I think the parents are a little nervous too, but Mr. Canary denies that anyone’s nervous. The good thing about this first meeting is that it will occur at a party. Every year Papa Canary hosts a large Lunar New Year party at a restaurant, and so it will also be a big social event without the pressures of say an intimate dinner. The future in-laws are here for the party and staying through the weekend.
How To Address Your New Family
January 7th, 2008 @ 11:52 am by Mrs. Onion
I was wrapping Christmas presents for our families over the holiday and started to write a tag for my father-in-law’s gift from me and Mr. Onion, and I wrote “for Dad” because that’s how he would address his father. Then I was writing my mother-in-law’s gift tag and without thinking wrote “for [her first name].”
It got me thinking — what do you call your in-laws and how did you come to that decision. “Mom” and “Dad” just don’t roll off my tongue.
And if you’re not married yet, is this something you’ve discussed with your boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance?
Being A Mother, Being A Wife
October 29th, 2007 @ 1:01 pm by Mrs. Jasmine
image courtesy of amazon.com
In a revealing Salon.com interview, Deborah Merrill, author of the book “Mothers-in-Law and Daughters-in-Law: Understanding the Relationship and What Makes Them Friends or Foe”, acknowledges that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships can occasionally be fraught with tension and conflict because “while the daughter-in-law is trying to create her own family, her mother-in-law is trying to maintain relationships in her family as they have always been.”
(F)MILs
October 4th, 2007 @ 4:11 pm by Mrs. Peony
Mr. Peony and I had a discussion about mother-in-laws the other day and ended up questioning when exactly it became the norm to not get along with your (future) mother-in-law. Was it always this way? Did cavewomen butt heads with their MILs too?
After spending time with my mother every day for the last 9 months, Mr. Peony now loves her despite the language barrier (she speaks very little English). She in turn loves him back and treats him like the son she never had: cooking for him, cleaning up after him, giving him gifts, and even taking his side when we argue.
I, on the other hand, never really spent too much time with Mr. Peony’s mother because his parents live in Hong Kong. We’re friendly to one another but I wouldn’t call us friends. Whenever I do see her, I turn into a stone version of Miss Peony. I get super nervous, and the thought that I’m the girl who’s taking away her first born son away from her is always at the back of my mind. In addition, she doesn’t speak much English either…trying to converse with your FMIL when you both already speak the same language is hard enough! She’s never been nothing but nice to me, but I’m so bad at small talk and those awkward silences just kill me.
