Weddingbee Blog

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Hey hive!! I have missed you oh so much, I just can’t even tell ya!

It’s been a while since I posted, but I wanted to come and keep you guys updated with what’s going on in the Handbag world…

The last time we spoke, we had canceled our Jamaica wedding for a bigger wedding in our neck of the world. As soon as we canceled, we went on a weddingpalooza here in search of the venue, photographer, etc. We picked a date and went searching for our venue. We immediately fell in love with one, booked, signed the contract and went about our merry way. I found an amazing photographer (thanks to the hive!!) and booked her immediately, also. Things were fantastic and moving right along. I was so much happier being able to research different vendors and actually seeing things first-hand instead of the long distance, go with what we are given, no options of Jamaica.

About a month after we booked our venue and photog, we hit a brick wall.

Mr Handy was laid off.
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Ci vediamo più tardi, or “see ya later,” in Italian. Why am I saying that, you ask?

::::hangs head in shame:::: We are canceling Jamaica.

Please don’t be upset, because this isn’t goodbye, just see ya in a few months. I’ll start from the beginning…

When we first were engaged, the whole family thought it would be fun to have a family vacation to Jamaica. It just so happened that we got engaged around the same time this was being discussed. Everyone bugged us  to get married in Jamaica so we could have our family vacation at the same time. SCORE! Everyone was in and excited. That was almost 2 years ago. I have been gung ho about it ever since. I liked the idea of something unique and fun for everyone. Yes, I had a hard time not being able to control things or have the ability to pay attention to details, and our vendors were very limited, but the family was so excited.

Fast forward to this past summer, when reality started to set in. Not for us, but for our guests.
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Since we are having a destination wedding and we have friends all over the US, we (OK, who are we kidding here, I) thought it would be a good idea to create a brochure. I scoured the Internet for ideas on formatting and ran across VistaPrint. I use them for work related marketing and always get emails for free offers, so I thought I would try it out.

I was looking for something with our color scheme (black and white) but they all seemed so dull to me. So, I started looking at the tropical themes. Besides, our guests are using this as their vacation, so I might as well play up the Caribbean theme.

I played around with different fonts and colors and came up with this.

This is the outside of the brochure:

And here is what they see when they open it up:
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I have been going back and forth on the idea of a wedding favor. The way I see it is that we are not having a traditional wedding, so why should we follow all the traditions of a wedding?

Pros

• They can be so cute

Cons

• How will I get them there along with everything else?
• What would we have as a favor?
• Who would actually like/use them?
• Is this even in our tiny budget?

I would be really, really upset if I spent all that money to pick them, purchase them, and get them there, only for no one to even notice them or use them. I would probably cry. True story.
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This past weekend we celebrated our last dating anniversary. Our six-years-of-dating bliss is coming to an end in a few months and it feels awesome.

Mr Handy surprised me with 2 days away at King of Prussia in PA. It was much needed and so relaxing. On Saturday morning we woke up, he told me to pack for 2 days and we hit the road. After about an hour-and-a-half we arrived at KOP mall. If you have never heard of it, Google it. This mall is amazing. We walked around for a few hours, grabbed some lunch and just talked…something we don’t do enough when life gets hectic. We decided to go to the hotel and take a nap so we could stay out Saturday night (what? We’re old!).

We pulled up at this beautiful hotel, Dolce.

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Well, I am a scrapbooker. Yup. I love to spend hours cutting, pasting and putting together all the beautiful people and events in my life into a book. I have made scrapbooks for everything: from Mr Handy’s and my relationship, to one for my brothers and their careers, to one to momma for Mother’s Day, and even one for my cat.

So, when we got engaged, I knew that I would be asking my bridesmaids to be a part of our wedding in some sort of creative way.

Here is a page I made for Bridesmaid T:

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The past 6 years have been a journey of not only getting to know Mr Handy, but learning who I am. We started dating when I was 19 years old; he was 21. We were still very young and very naive. I had my own place and was quite comfortable doing my own thang and not having to answer to anyone. Within 7 months of dating, we made the decision to find an apartment together. I have learned throughout the years that my biggest struggle is either to be the traditional Italian wife who cooks, cleans, takes care of her husband’s every need, or be the independent, sassy, go-getter kind of gal. I grew up with a mother who tended to her husband’s every need and she put her career and her needs on the backburner for so many years because that’s just what she was taught wives do. Today’s woman is strong, independent and sassy. I love both worlds.

During the first few years of our relationship I was very much the traditional Italian (soon-to-be) wife. I cooked every night, I did the laundry, I cleaned the apartment, I took care of everything and I LOVED it. The only job he had was his normal 9-5 and to take care of the finances. That was OK with me. I felt needed and I felt like this was exactly how it should have been.

After three years of the apartment living, we decided to buy a house.
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If I would have found Weddingbee sooner…

I would have chosen a local wedding. True story.

Every wedding that I have ever been too in my state of Delaware have cost $25k+. So, the only knowledge that I had of weddings was those that I had already been to.

When we decided on a destination wedding, we figured it would be cheaper and still give us the wow factor we wanted. We just pick the resort, pick the package and bada bing, were married!

Boy was I wrong!

We chose a resort that was all inclusive for our guests and chose a wedding package the resort offered. We figured everything was included in the package and that’s all the money we needed.
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Since my bridesmaids are all so far away and spread out, I decided to let go and let them decide on whatever they wanted to wear for our wedding. The only “rules” that I have are that they are black and they feel sexy in them. Every girl has a LBD in their closet, and if they don’t, now is the time to go get one. I dont care if they spend $30 or $150—it’s all up to them and what they can afford. I know times are tough, so I didn’t want to put them in a financial burden. I already feel slightly bad that they have to pay for airfare and hotel to Jamaica, so I figured I would spare them this.

I trust all my girls to find something cute. If they feel good in whatever they chose, I am certain, they will look fantastic. When a girl looks good, it makes them feel good and it shows.

In a perfect world… this is what I WOULD dress them in. These dresses are so adorable:
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When we visited the resort and saw the amazing aqueduct we were instantly hooked. When we ate at the Three Palms restaurant, we were drooling at the very thought of our ceremony/reception at this amazing island. Then we read about the tale of  Three Palm (where our reception will be)…

No one knows for sure if this is a tale or if this really happened but the locals swear by its truth. I found this article here.

Born in France, Annie Palmer was a petite woman (barely 4 feet tall) who moved to the beautiful island of Jamaica. She was to marry a powerful man who owned Rose Hall and thousands of acres of sugar plantation. Little is known of her early days at Rose Hall. It is said that she pined greatly for the bright lights of Paris, and found life on the island to be a hardship.

Whatever the cause, Annie ruled with an iron fist. She was feared by the slaves who lived on and worked the plantation.
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Wanna know my biggest fear?… Divorce.

Disclaimer: I understand that some things are out of your control and sometimes that divorce is the only option. You can’t always control what happens in your marriage and I don’t judge anyone that has had to go through it.

When you say, “I Do,” that means forever. You build dreams and goals and you work and live towards that. You do things together and see yourself as part of a team, so how do you stop all of that when you divorce? You change they way you think when you get married, the way you see things, the way you act, and live. So how do you just turn it off? You can’t.

Mr Handy has amazing grandparents. They have been together since they were 11 and 12 years old. They have been through it all, seen it all and are still loving each other. His grandmother and I are very close, we have had many long chats about marriage. She is an amazing woman and has so many words of wisdom that I thought I would share.

She told me that a good marriage is work, communication, and more work.
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There may be some confusion: We booked our trip to Jamaica last year and went in April of this year. This blog was written after our trip this year. Just to clarify.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: Rosehall Resort, Montego Bay, Jamaica

On the plane—hadn’t even taken off yet, and I was already snapping pictures

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Mr. Handy and I aren’t too big into dancing. I am a little too conservative to be droppin’ it like it’s hot, and he wouldn’t know what rhythm was if it knocked him over. During our many years of relationship bliss, I can honestly tell you that we have never danced together, well, except for the occasional twirl in our living room. I can’t imagine my friends dancing to Flo Rida with my elder family watching. I am not sure if most people dance the way we do up here, but shall I say, its a little on the “oh my goodness—did she really just do that” side. It’s somewhat provocative and not really appropriate for a wedding. Most people tell me after a few drinks you won’t even care about the way anyone is dancing. But then my reply is, “We don’t drink either.” Boring, aren’t we?

With that said, we aren’t having a reception. Well we are, but it is more like just a dinner. After the ceremony on the aqueduct, we are heading over to…
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So, I have already told you about the way Mr Handy proposed… but I didn’t show you the pictures (so rude, I know!). That night was so amazing and such a whirlwind of emotions. Being with him for 4+ years and having just bought a house together, I was more then ready to be with him forever but our pockets were quite light at that time in our lives, so a ring was the last thing that I was thinking of. I remember sitting in the kitchen with his cousin when he asked Mr Handy the infamous questions: “So, when are you going to propose?” I remember looking at Mr Handy and seeing him get red in the face and say, “When you pay for it.” This was his same reply, as always. Little did I know, my precious was in the living room.

I also noticed that he had been drinking… and we don’t drink. Ever, really. He was drinking so much, I even had to tell him to relax because his mom was getting visibly upset. That should have been my second red flag, but again, it was the last thing on my mind.

Mr Handy watched as I opened my little box…
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