Catch up on the entire After “I Do” series here! And if you have a burning question you’d like to see discussed, submit it here!
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Are/were you and your SO on the same page when it comes to having children (or not)? Have your views on having children (when, how many, etc.) changed since you were engaged or first married? If so, what changed your mind/views/timeline? Bee parents: How did you and your SO decide when you were ready to start trying to have children? Did any specific life events influence your decision?
Ah yes, the baby timeline. I had it all worked out. We’d get engaged, get married sometime the next year, wait a year and then get pregnant…then have a second one when the first was about two…that would make us 36 and 38 at which time we would figure out if we wanted a third. The funny thing about timelines, is that they seem so necessary…and to a certain point, they are…I mean, it would have made no sense to wait ten or so years to experience our marriage and then have a baby because we didn’t get married until I was 32 and he was 34. But the reality is that sometimes timelines are just too much pressure.
Have we followed our timeline pretty consistently? Sure. Would it have killed us to have strayed from the timeline? No…it probably would have helped us feel less pressure. The truth is, there is no GOOD time to have a baby. Sometimes the best timing is the unexpected timing because without it you wouldn’t understand how much control you have to relinquish when you have kids. period.
I will say, that the most comforting thing that my husband and I experienced when making that final yes-we’re-ready-to-try-to-start-a-family NOW decision was witnessing two of my most eccentric and opinionated and unique friends have a baby together and seeing how it both did and did not change who they were as people. Read more…
Mrs. Giraffe, ChicagoAge and Occupation: 23, Graphic DesignerFiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Music Student TeacherEngagement Date: October 23, 2008Wedding Date: May 2011Venue: Trinity Lutheran Church & Idlewild Country ClubAbout Me: Coming from the suburbs of the Windy City, you'll often find me with my foot in my mouth while laughing for no reason or telling bad knock knock jokes. I've been crafty for as long as I can remember, and will DIY something twice over before I have someone do it for me. I'm a semi-awkward, typeface obsessed, design junkie and have been know to break out my dance moves for no reason as well as try my best to be ridiculous at all times. My love of pop culture, wordplay, and graph paper almost rivals my love of Mr. Giraffe (who is just the bee's knees). After a 2.5 year engagement, we're planning a modern-in-disguise traditional wedding, and cannot wait!
Mrs. Biscuit, Morgantown, WVAge and Occupation: 24, Dental StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Chemist at a pharmaceutical companyEngagement Date: April 2010Wedding Date: July 2011Venue: Catholic Church, Lakeview Golf Resort and SpaAbout Me: I'm an engineer who decided to trek back to my hometown three years ago to become skilled in the arts of drilling and filling. I'm engaged to a pretty awesome guy who tests your assorted benzodiazepines by day and home brews by night. Together we have two fur children, Tsali and Tobias N. Fünkat. I'm a lazy perfectionist and eternal sorority girl who enjoys running, crafting, string cheese, good beer, and bad reality TV. We are planning a Big Fat Italian/Sicilian/Polish wedding filled with DIY details and are expecting 300 +/- 50 guests. Our whimsical summer affair is themed "Alice attends the Mad Hatter Vintage Garden Tea Party in a Ballroom. She Thinks That The Venue is Odd for a Vintage Garden Party, but is Tripping on LSD, so She Doesn't Really Care." Yes, I am the Dickens of themes.
I’ve talked before about how we’re having children at our wedding. I like kids, and kids are cute as well as very prevalent in my family. One of my cousins alone has five under the age of 8.
For the most part, I’ve been quite happy with our decision. It gets further solidified when I see cute pictures like this:
I don’t even care if I don’t know them: I’d totally frame that picture and put it on my wall. Adorableness all around!
I fully understand why someone wouldn’t invite children, and I’ve thoroughly read all of the different viewpoints; however, no one’s reasoning for not inviting little ones compelled me to renege the invitation. Adult affair? Eh, our wedding’s not that fancy. Room at the venue? We’ve got plenty of room. The cost? Kids are cheaper. Screaming throughout the reception?
Mrs. Jam, ChicagoAge and Occupation: 25, Writer/Associate Wedding CoordinatorFiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Structural EngineerEngagement Date: December 23, 2009Wedding Date: June 2011Venue: Hunter’s Ridge, Princeton, ILAbout Me: I’m a penny-pinching cat lady getting ready to marry the frugal dog lover of my dreams. Our ideal Saturday morning includes rummaging around people’s junk at garage and estate sales followed by an afternoon date to our favorite café, where we only eat sandwiches that include the word “salad.” We actually love it so much, it’s sort of our unofficial wedding theme: Look at our delicious finds, eat homemade ham salad, and celebrate our love…barndance style. When we’re not obsessing over our love-fest shindig, we’re planning themed parties for our best friends and jamming to '90s music.
The Jams as wedding kiddies. Can you even handle his look?! Aww.
Note to all busybody couples out there: When planning a wedding, don’t estimate your guest count before you actually sit down and actually start writing down names. Because when you’re wrong, you will think your guest list is utterly untamable and you will threaten to cut everyone in order to reach the original number you thought you would invite. Read more…
Mrs. Starfish, Boston/NewportAge and Occupation: 25, Operations AssistantFiance's Age and Occupation: 25, SalesEngagement Date: October 8, 2008Wedding Date: October 2010Venue: The Atlantic Beach ClubAbout Me: I'm a perfectionist who is a planner at heart. I don't do well with surprises. I love planning, crafting, Newport RI, family and friends, and most importantly, Mr. Starfish---all of which will be big components in our October wedding in our favorite little city by the sea.
I know I’ve been a little MIA, but as I was browsing Etsy the other day, I came across the absolute cutest crayons!
Can you imagine these at a kids’ table? I bet the kids would adore them! I also love that they are eco-friendly and made out of recycled crayons. Read more…
Ms. Cheetah, Los Angeles/Palm Springs
Age and Occupation: 31, Artist, EducatorFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, TV FinanceEngagement Date: April 2010Wedding Date: March 2011Venue: The ViceroyAbout Me: I’m a silly, sassy lady with a compulsion to create. I love to sing and dance, despite the fact that I lack any talent doing either. I somehow manage to be messy and organized at the same time. I like to spend my days road tripping, watching '80s movies, reading true crime books, buying things on sale, sending postcards, playing board games, dining at food trucks, snuggling, and drinking ginger ale. I have a weak spot for all things sweet, especially Mr. Cheetah! I’m a Chicago girl and he’s a Nor Cal boy but we love living in the City of Angels. After 10 years as a couple we are planning a fun-filled semi-destination wedding in Palm Springs. Hope you enjoy the ride!
As a little girl I always wanted to be a flower girl, but alas, I never was.I was pretty disappointed and annoyed when a few years ago my mother confessed that I had been asked to be a flower girl not once, but twice.Each time my mom told the bride and groom no because I’d “ruin the wedding.”Yes, that is a direct quote.Apparently both times I was asked was during my terrible twos, but I like to think I could have behaved for those couple minutes down the aisle—I would’ve been so excited!At least my mom seems to have more confidence in me now that I’ve grown out of training pants.
After much thought and consideration, Mr. Cheetah and I have decided against having children in our wedding party.As crazy-pants adorable as they are, it just doesn’t make sense for our wedding. Read more…
Mrs. Husky, DenverAge and Occupation: 26, Systems AdministratorFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Mechanical Engineer, recently laid offEngagement Date: August 14, 2009Wedding Date: October 2010Venue: Rancho San CarlosAbout Me: I am planning a quirky-crafty wedding with my recently out-of-work fiancé for a (fingers crossed!) warm October afternoon. We are two self-professed nerds with an affinity for all things outdoors---be it rain, snow or shine. Recently relocated from the drizzly Northwest, we're enjoying the many sun-soaked days in the mile high city. Our day will be filled with both of our large families and friends, a self-served Cajun feast, and a Zydeco-style jazz band rocking beneath the beams of a historic red barn.
We are among those who will be hosting several kids at our wedding. Both of us have lots of little rascals running around on all sides of our family gatherings. So, I loved the idea of creating a book to keep them occupied:
(personal photo)
Inside they have lots of activities for the kids to keep entertained:
Mrs. Barrettes, Tumon, Guam/Napa, CAAge and Occupation: 29, DancerFiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Licensed Building ContractorEngagement Date: November 16, 2008Wedding Date: October 2010Venue: V. Sattui WineryAbout Me: I'm an East Coast girl, living on a tiny little island in the Pacific, twirling, leaping, and shimmy-ing my way through life, and now, wedding planning! I'm equal parts nerdy and cool... okay, mostly nerdy. I love satin bows, red lipstick, black & white graphic anything, the shine of sequins and the sound of a champagne "pop". My favorite books are The Portrait of a Lady, by Henry James, and Tender is the Night, by F. Scott Fitzgerald. I can also conjure a pretty good Patronus Charm. I started my appreciation for good red wine while traveling on the high seas, and it's only fitting that my passion for wine drinking led me to my Napa-bred honey. We bonded over bottles of Cabernet on my oceanfront porch and haven't looked back since. We're sealing the deal at a winery in the Napa Valley on a 'perfect ten' of a day!
You know the best thing about being the eldest of 20 grandchildren? My cousins keep me in the loop! The latest “must-have” is Silly Bandz.
They’re like rubber bands, but thicker, and they come in all shapes and colors. Personally the princess set and the sea creatures set are my favorites:
Mrs. Cardigan, AustinAge and Occupation: 21, Student/Soon-to-be Special Education TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 20, Student/Soon-to-be Accounting Systems AnalystEngagement Date: August 16, 2009Wedding Date: January 2011Venue: Vintage VillasAbout Me: I'm a native Austinite who was raised as a die-hard Aggie. Luckily, I'm a pretty persuasive girl because I managed to convince my high school boyfriend (now fiance!), Mr. Cardigan, to ditch his hardcore Longhorn ways and join me up at A&M, where we currently reside with our adorable dogs, Cullen & Ranger. We're currently planning a bright, cheery wedding with a ridiculous amount of DIY projects that I can't wait to tackle! I love crafting in any form, reading, and margaritas (I think I love them the most!). Organization is what keeps me sane and I love helping others, which is probably why I ended up as an education major. It gets a little chaotic sometimes when you're planning a wedding among all of the papers, projects, finals, and certification exams, but we're having the time of our lives and we can't wait to get started on our journey as husband and wife - and we're so excited to share our wedding with the hive!
There was never any doubt in my and Mr. Cardigan’s minds that there would be kids at our wedding. Both of our siblings have kids, and they’re such a huge part of our life – we couldn’t ever imagine our wedding without them.
My two nieces (AKA: our flower girl and Jr. BM). Sure, they can be loud. And rowdy. But look at how cute they are!
However, while we have always been happy to include kids on our guest list, it’s just a fact of life that kids get bored at weddings. Read more…
Mrs. Thimble, NYC/PhiladelphiaAge and Occupation: 26, Actress & Costume Designer (+ day job)Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Lawyer & Techie WizEngagement Date: August 22, 2008Wedding Date: October 2010Venue: The Pearl S. Buck HouseAbout Me: I’m an easily inspired over-thinker delighted with the process of designing, building, directing and {dare I say} co-starring in the early-autumn affair I’ve been dreaming up. I’m a sucker for trendied-up comfort foods and old family anecdotes; I have an affinity for adjectives, alliteration, eyelet and earl grey; and I live for quality time with family and friends. I never guessed I’d marry my “high school sweetheart", but when it turned out to be my funny, techie, loyal Mr. Thimble I was committed for life. We’re both mid-career transition and ready to move back to small-townish TBD, PA in a pre-wedding flurry of all-good life changes.
We are not inviting children to our wedding because I have about thirty little second cousins on my side of the family and we simply can’t accommodate for that many kids. This is killing me because, before they’d doubled in numbers, I had always imagined I would simply enlist them all into the wedding party and let them run down the aisle and be adorable and no feelings would be hurt.
I feel that offering them this important (and fun and adorable) role in our wedding day is my duty as the youngest of my generation. Read more…
Mrs. Lace, Pasadena, CAAge and Occupation: 29, Elementary school teacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 29, EngineerEngagement Date: September 6, 2009Wedding Date: June 2010Venue: Orange County Performing Arts CenterAbout Me: Born and raised in Southern California, my fiance and I are marrying in Orange County. We're planning a vintage wedding with a modern twist. I am an elementary school teacher by day and a wedding planner by night. I love reading, blogging, scrapbooking, trying out new DIY projects, buying awesome finds at incredible deals and spending time with friends and family. Trying new restaurants, traveling and shopping also top my hobby list. I'm anxious to share my wedding ideas and planning with the hive!
I’ve heard that there are some weddings where children aren’t allowed to attend for various reasons. I remember my brother once being invited to a wedding where children weren’t allowed and Mr. Lace and I got to babysit my nephew. However, for us, that was never an issue. We love children and know lots of families so we couldn’t imagine NOT having children at our wedding.
In fact, in our RSVPs, we were surprised that some families chose NOT to bring their children with them to our wedding. Regardless, we’ll have about 30 children at our wedding and as a teacher, I know that planning ahead makes a world of difference. I’d prefer not to have bored children, or worse yet, children running amok at our venue. So, I decided to follow in the footsteps of many wise brides and make an activity book for the children attending our wedding. I COULD have downloaded the many activity books that are out there in the Internet, but that would be way too easy. I HAD to make my own.
Mrs. Veggie, Raglan, New Zealand/Scranton, PAAge and Occupation: 27, Director of Small Non-ProfitFiance's Age and Occupation: 42, PhD Student & FarmerEngagement Date: June 13, 2009Wedding Date: August 2010Venue: Indian Head Camp, Honesdale Pennsylvania
About Me: I am a tree-huggin' farmer turned enthusiastic wedding-planner. I live in a house truck and wear flip-flops more often than shoes. In my old life I was a high school Spanish teacher in love with a crazy guy who lived off-the grid on a farm in New Hampshire. But, we decided to mix things up a bit, quit our jobs and move to New Zealand. My southern hemisphere lifestyle involves growing veggies, teaching, running our small non-profit, and surfing. I love laughing, singing, playing, and the inspirational Mr. Veggie (of course!). For our wedding, I am committed to throwing a killer party that celebrates our values without breaking the bank. Look forward to an eco-thrifty summer-campy weekend-long extravaganza.
Maybe it’s just that time of the month, but I can’t get those little veggie sprouts out of my mind. Here’s an inspiration board I made devoted just to them.
It’s undecided as to how many boy sprouts will make it down the aisle. But either way, they are all getting dressed up, mostly because I can’t resist baby-sized suspenders. Oh my goodness! Paired up with a newsboys cap, a tie, and a vest, and the Little Mr. Veggies will be looking dapper. Read more…
Mrs. Frozen Yogurt, DallasAge and Occupation: 28, Special Projects CoordinatorFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Equity TraderEngagement Date: March 19, 2009Wedding Date: April 2010Venue: Marie Gabrielle, DallasAbout Me: I was born and raised in Texas, and have lived in several of the cities across the state, but I currently reside in Austin. I went to college in Boston and have a special place in my heart for the Northeast. I love reading, shopping, wine, reuniting with college friends that are scattered across the country, reality TV, trying out new recipes, and attempting all the DIY projects that come along with wedding planning. I'm a "bleeding heart, save the world type" and thankfully my job allows me to work on legislation and policy to help out those in need. I met Mr. Frozen Yogurt in a bar, though he doesn't even drink! And now we are planning a modern yet vintage wedding in Dallas while dealing with the trials and tribulations of first time homeownership.
We knew early on that we wanted to have a kids’ table with all sorts of goodies for the kids. I also knew that I wanted to make a special activity book for the kiddos to keep them occupied. Luckily, making an activity book was a lot easier than I thought it might be. I just Googled “coloring book wedding” and all sorts of wonderful free images popped up. I used Microsoft Publisher to put everything in a book template and I was set to start printing. I used white cardstock, twine and a hole punch to pull it all together. Here was my end product:
I wanted to use some of the larger ribbon I had leftover from my ribbon wands to tie through the hole punch, but I found that when the kids would open the books to start coloring, the ribbon would get in the way. It was cute, but not practical.
Mrs. Argyle, St. LouisAge and Occupation: 24, Project CoordinatorFiance's Age and Occupation: 24, PilotEngagement Date: February 15, 2009Wedding Date: September 2010Venue: Jewel Box in Forest Park and Windows on WashingtonAbout Me: I'm a true Midwestern girl (born and raised), lover of red wine, reality TV and the entire J.Crew catalog. I love to dance regardless of who is watching, and enjoy a good laugh with my girls. I have a soft spot in my heart for planet Earth, my two dogs and my fiance. Fall is my favorite season (which is why we are marrying in September), but I love a warm summer day and the Colorado mountains in the winter. We are planning a modern soiree downtown, with lots of bold colors, and fun, eco-friendly elements.
While we are not including children in our wedding (this includes not having a flower girl or ring bearer), I love the idea of making sure the kids have something to do. Weddings are not exactly the most kid-friendly places, but if kids are a huge part of your life and family, I definitely think they should feel included.
One of the newer trends in weddings is having a kids’ section or kids’ table with activities for the kids to work on. I love this idea. There are plenty of examples all over the web, but this one featured by Heather at We Met in a Bar is a great example of how to keep the kiddos occupied.
Mrs. Pretzel, SeattleAge and Occupation: 32 Learning, Training, and Development SpecialistFiance's Age and Occupation: 28 Manufacturing EngineerEngagement Date: September 2, 2009Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Catholic Church & The Engine Room at Georgetown StudiosAbout Me: I’m just a thirty-something girl who never dreamed of weddings, poofy dresses, or ritzy receptions. I am a rabid knitter, except recently, wedding projects have replaced my yarn and needles. I’ve been fiercely independent since the age of 2 and 30 years later I think my family and friends had given up on me settling down and getting married.
Ironically, I had to go all the way to Seattle to find a boy from Purdue. We fell in love over Seattle Beers and cooking together. I love NASCAR, he loves Legos. I can talk like a Muppet and he can fit a whole McDonald’s cheeseburger in his mouth. We are a two reception couple, currently planning a brewery inspired bash.
My grandma used to buy me paper dolls – sometimes as a little gift for a holiday and sometimes just because. I loved playing with them, especially the more vintage-y dolls. I distinctly remember a Victorian set of dolls and a 1950s set. I can’t help but smile when I picture the dolls with their modest underthings and a wide array of clothes and accessories just waiting to be combined in sometimes hilarious ways. Can you say pajama pants with a tennis skirt? Read more…
Ah yes, the baby timeline. I had it all worked out. We’d get engaged, get married sometime the next year, wait a year and then get pregnant…then have a second one when the first was about two…that would make us 36 and 38 at which time we would figure out if we wanted a third. The funny thing about timelines, is that they seem so necessary…and to a certain point, they are…I mean, it would have made no sense to wait ten or so years to experience our marriage and then have a baby because we didn’t get married until I was 32 and he was 34. But the reality is that sometimes timelines are just too much pressure.
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Unique Wedding Favors
Can you imagine these at a kids’ table? I bet the kids would adore them! I also love that they are eco-friendly and made out of recycled crayons.
