Mrs. Funnel Cake, Zürich, Switzerland/Columbus, OhioAge and Occupation: 24, Visual Communication DesignerFiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Application EngineerEngagement Date: May 30, 2010Wedding Date: October 2011Venue: Catholic church followed by a botanical conservatoryAbout Me: I'm an American designer who moved to Switzerland for love after a fairytale beginning at the top of the Eiffel Tower. I love travel, photography, museums, learning German so I can speak with my mother-in-law, cooking (eating), cuddling, and I'm not afraid to try something new even if it terrifies me. My Swiss/Brazilian man and I are both down to earth people planning a traditional Catholic wedding in my hometown with some quirky cultural exceptions to reflect our different backgrounds. We look forward to celebrating with friends and family from all over the world in a classic, sophisticated fusion of heritage and love.
Way back when Mr. Funnel Cake mentioned Plan Z, I secretly started researching how to execute the plan. I knew a foreign marriage application in Switzerland was fairly time and labour intensive process, and I wanted to be prepared if and when Mr. Funnel Cake would agree we should do it. I figured if it came to this, we would need to execute our plan very quickly, and I was right!
(Image via my computer where I was constantly stalking EF)
So, what do you need to get married in Switzerland? Well, if you are Swiss all you need is your Passport or Identity Card. If you live outside the city you wish to marry in, you also need a copy of your residence certificate and civil status certificate from your local registry office, but Mr. Funnel Cake is a “Zürcher” so he just needed to bring his ID card with him.
The documents required from Americans are a little more complicated…
Mrs. Candy Apple, Princeton Junction, NJ/ Seattle, WAAge and Occupation: 26, Project EditorFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, AttorneyEngagement Date: May 9, 2010Wedding Date: August 2011Venue: St. Joseph's Parish, Seattle Tennis ClubAbout Me: I am a Pacific Northwesterner, born and bred. I have lived in many cities---Santa Clara, Durham (England); Florence; Boston; Princeton Junction---but my heart will always be nestled up near the Cascades and Olympics, which is why we are holding our wedding there. I am a bookworm and a History nerd: I love that my life consists of books, books, and more books, since I work in Publishing! Recently, all waking time not consumed by work and my daily commute has been overtaken by wedding planning. Well, that, and watching Premier-League soccer. There is nothing I love more than a good Tana French mystery, traveling to new places, Anthropologie shopping sprees, Iittala dishware, Kate Spade shoes, impeccable typefaces (think: Archer), and a nice English ale (hellooo, Old Speckled Hen!). Oh, and did I mention my obsession with wedding blogs? Yeah, there’s that too. Join Mr. Candy Apple and me as we prep for our wedding, and, more importantly, our marriage!
First, I wanted to start this post by saying that we women (okay, and I suppose men too) need to give ourselves a big, ol’ pat on the back, and we need to raise a glass of something to the women who came before us. Why? Well, because we are at the point (at least in America) where there actually are name change debates, discussions, questions, thoughts, concerns, considerations. 100 years ago, it would have been very rare for an American woman to keep her last name after she was married, and I am incredibly appreciative that it is socially acceptable now for me to either keep my last name or take the last name of Mr. Candy Apple. Or, for him to take mine. Or, for us to merge our names via hyphen. Or, for us to form a completely new last name. There are so many options! It makes my feminist self leap with joy and happiness, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I am so glad I live in a time when we are making such big strides. (And yes, I say strides. Because I don’t think we’re actually there yet. But, we don’t need to get into that right now.) I don’t want to make this a post about feminism (what it is, etc. etc.)—I merely want to state my thoughts and feelings on the issue.
Anyway, yes, the Name Change Game (aka NCG). You know the one—lots of bees have hashed this out before their weddings. I know that for many people this is a touchy subject, causing large amounts of stress, heartbreak, annoyance, grief. I am sure it can also be somewhat of a make-or-break issue in relationships.
To me, the whole NCG mainly boils down to one issue. Read more…
Mrs. Jaguar, SydneyAge and Occupation: 27, Primary School TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 29, IT ConsultantEngagement Date: August 8, 2009Wedding Date: June 2011Venue: Curzon HallAbout Me: I'm an Australian girl who is a self-proclaimed nerd, loves all things stationery and would be lost without books, music and the internet. Mr. Jaguar and I have been together for the past eight years and he finally popped the question last August. Hurrah! We currently live in Sydney, Australia with our adorable cat who thinks he's a person. We're a couple who likes to multi-task: we've been planning a wedding abroad, a permanent move from London to Sydney, and preparing to build our own home all at the same time. Travelling makes me giddy...as does Mr. Jaguar, of course!
My colleagues spoiled me with two beautiful bath towels from our gift registry. I was treated to a lovely speech from my principal and lots of well wishes. There were cards from parents, messages from kids (in my class, and from around the school) and there was just a generally nice vibe floating around all day.
This afternoon I was finishing up the day with my Year 1/2 class and they were asking a whole lot of questions about the wedding—and I was explaining to them that this would be my last day teaching as “Miss Jaguar.” They were a bit thrown by that, but a few caught on and asked what I would be coming back as. So, I told them. I’ll be coming back as “Mrs. Jaguar.”
That’s when it hit me. All the dress fittings and the last minute tasks and the deadlines—they’ve just become part of our everyday lives.
But saying it out loud, saying my new name and my new identity out loud (and having 25 kids trying it on for size, too)—that was it. Read more…
Mrs. Bunting, Grand Rapids, MIAge and Occupation: 24, freelance illustrator & print productionFiance's Age and Occupation: 24, graduate of historyEngagement Date: December 3, 2009Wedding Date: June 2011Venue: Spring Grove Park & St. George Banquet CenterAbout Me: I am a freelance illustrator and designer with a love of nature and a taste for adventure. Textures and color fuel my world, along with apple cider and noodles. I'll try anything once, especially if it involves heights or food. I've hiked the Grand Canyon, gone sky diving, cuddled a baby wolf, and now my latest venture consists of designing and planning a large wedding involving color, DIY details, love, and marrying my best friend.
Mrs. Jaguar, SydneyAge and Occupation: 27, Primary School TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 29, IT ConsultantEngagement Date: August 8, 2009Wedding Date: June 2011Venue: Curzon HallAbout Me: I'm an Australian girl who is a self-proclaimed nerd, loves all things stationery and would be lost without books, music and the internet. Mr. Jaguar and I have been together for the past eight years and he finally popped the question last August. Hurrah! We currently live in Sydney, Australia with our adorable cat who thinks he's a person. We're a couple who likes to multi-task: we've been planning a wedding abroad, a permanent move from London to Sydney, and preparing to build our own home all at the same time. Travelling makes me giddy...as does Mr. Jaguar, of course!
I haven’t mentioned our stance on the name-change game in all of the months I’ve been blogging on Weddingbee. I’m not quite sure why: it just never came up, I suppose. We’ve been wedding planning for such a long time now that we sort of just “forgot” about a few things that are going to be happening soon—making a decision about my surname being one of them.
I’m a primary school teacher. My kids this year are in year 1 and 2, so they range between the ages of 5-8, depending on when they started kindergarten. Kids that age are funny with teacher names. I think they grow up with so many older teachers that “Mrs” becomes something that they automatically associate with female teachers. That’s why, ever since I first started teaching, I’m used to being called “Mrs S.” It doesn’t matter how many times I correct them, or remind them that I’m not married yet and that I go by “Miss S”—they just instinctively call me whatever rolls off the tongue. They’re littlies, it happens. I go by all sorts of abbreviations; I’ve even been called “Mr. S” before—seriously.
Ms. Ferris Wheel, San FranciscoAge and Occupation: 29, PsychologistFiance's Age and Occupation: 27, PsychologistEngagement Date: May 23 and 28, 2010 (one for each of us!)Wedding Date: November 2011Venue: Parc55 Hotel (city lights ceremony, ballroom reception)About Me: Born in the Southeast, educated in the Northeast, and over-educated on the West Coast, I finally earned my city-girl credentials and have put down roots in gorgeous San Francisco. I’m a raging perfectionist with a lightning quick wit and a terrible sense of both time and direction. Our wedding task list is endlessly growing because of my predilection to think that DIY projects I can make = DIY projects I should make (so not true!). I always go to bed wishing there were more hours in the day to enjoy all the things I adore, whether that be hobbies, friends, my career, our two dogs, or Mr. Ferris Wheel. Ours is a story of a non-traditional couple living an oddly traditional life planning a not-so-traditional wedding in this city we adore. Together we are bustin’ out all of our best skills (and some of our worst ones) to plan a laid-back-chic DIY-craftastic love-alicious affair!
One year and nine months after coming out to me, 364 days after starting testosterone, and eight months after having top surgery, Mr. FW officially became a ’mister’ in the eyes of the law.
{It’s Mr. FW}
With guidance from the super helpful information provided by the Transgender Law Center, Mr. FW worked with his medical doctor for several weeks to draft a letter with all of the very precise language needed to satisfy the requirements of both federal (social security, passport) and state (court, DMV, birth certificate) agencies. With the letter and a lot of other forms firmly in hand, he was assigned a court date for his legal name and gender change hearing. We went together to court that day along with probably fifteen other people. Many were women changing their names and/or their kids’ names due to marriage or divorce, some were just changing their first name to something they preferred better, and two people were there to change their name and gender. Read more…
Mrs. Hyena, College Station, TXAge and Occupation: 23, Marketing SpecialistFiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Aerospace Engineering Grad StudentEngagement Date: January 8, 2010Wedding Date: May 2011Venue: Downtown 202About Me: I'm a Texas girl who met my future hubby in high school, then headed up to Oklahoma for a college education (BOOMER SOONER!) before moving back to the Lone Star State to be with him. I love reading and recycling, Photoshop and reality TV, making lame jokes and then laughing at them, quoting movies, and Mr. Hyena most of all. I'm perpetually early and I like to get things accomplished. When my cat meows at me, I meow back. We're planning a laid-back, unintentionally DIY wedding with a cocktail-party vibe, and can't wait to celebrate our nuptials with our nearest and dearest!
In the state of Texas, you’re required to get your marriage license within 30 days of actually gettin’ hitched. So a few weeks before W-day, we Hyenas scampered down to the county courthouse to get this to-do scratched off the list. (Well, we scampered, but to the wrong county building. They had to direct us to the real courthouse a few blocks over. Fail.)
Mrs. Seal, San FranciscoAge and Occupation: 25, Personal AssistantFiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Sales and Support SpecialistEngagement Date: December 12, 2009Wedding Date: November 2011Venue: Sts Peter and Paul Church/The Bently ReserveAbout Me: I am a goofy, wannabe crafty, well-intentioned Renaissance Woman (OK, perhaps "aimless wanderer" is a more aptly suited term for me, but hopefully you get the point)—basically I dabble in just about everything and pride myself in such. Without warning, I occasionally breakout into soulful improvised songs and interpretive dances and there's just no stopping me! As so many others before me, planning our wedding has unearthed a deep, intense passion for all things bridal and I secretly fear the day it will come to an end. Mr. Seal and I are quite the pair and life with him by my side is extremely rewarding—I am so thankful to have found him. Together we are planning a black-tie San Francisco affair for 250—light on the stuffiness and with lots of extra Seal-y flair.
There have been many thought-provoking posts around the hive (including a fairly recent one by Miss Hyena) regarding a bride’s identity-altering decision as to whether or not she will change names for marriage. See for me, a name is not just a name; names tell stories, reveal history and hold meaning. My last name, the one I’ve lived with and signed thousands of times, is absolutely no different.
Truth be told, my surname is unique. So much so in fact that I am likely related to all others with my last name in the US in some distant way or another. Also, when I type my last name into Google images, I am immediately greeted by a page filled with a familiar face.
Anyhow, my name is important to me, so it is not without hours of thought that I am even considering changing it. Mr. Seal is a great sport about it all and understands my hesitation. In fact, Mr. S says that he’d 100% support me if I decided to not take on his.
Seems like a simple enough decision then, right? But no.
Mrs. Eggs Benedict, SeattleAge and Occupation: 29, AttorneyFiance's Age and Occupation: 35, AttorneyEngagement Date: December 5, 2009Wedding Date: February 2011Venue: IslandWoodAbout Me: I'm a Northwest girl who spends my time goofing around with Mr. Eggs Benedict and our dog, hiking, traveling, drinking wine and planning a wedding that will showcase the best of what the Pacific Northwest has to offer. I also love photography, beating Mr. Eggs Bene at Mario Kart, and watching the most ridiculous natural disaster flicks you can think of (seriously, how can you deny the awesomeness that is The Core or 2012?? That's right, you can't). We are planning our weekend wedding adventure at an environmental educational center, and I can't wait for the fun to begin!
Before we could legally wed in the state of Washington we had one thing that we absolutely had to accomplish.
Get our marriage license.
In the state of Washington you must procure said license between 3 and 60 days prior to your wedding.
Guess what we still hadn’t done by the week before the wedding? Oh right, get our marriage license that we’d spent the last two months procrastinating on getting.
Really, our only excuse was that Mr. EB was busy with classes and we didn’t want to deal with going downtown because we assumed it would always be super busy and crowded (of course, then on the day that we decided to go, Mrs. Zebra may or may not have freaked me out with tales of long lines when trying to get their marriage license on the Friday before Valentine’s Day!).
Mrs. Hyena, College Station, TXAge and Occupation: 23, Marketing SpecialistFiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Aerospace Engineering Grad StudentEngagement Date: January 8, 2010Wedding Date: May 2011Venue: Downtown 202About Me: I'm a Texas girl who met my future hubby in high school, then headed up to Oklahoma for a college education (BOOMER SOONER!) before moving back to the Lone Star State to be with him. I love reading and recycling, Photoshop and reality TV, making lame jokes and then laughing at them, quoting movies, and Mr. Hyena most of all. I'm perpetually early and I like to get things accomplished. When my cat meows at me, I meow back. We're planning a laid-back, unintentionally DIY wedding with a cocktail-party vibe, and can't wait to celebrate our nuptials with our nearest and dearest!
“If you’re calling before Saturday, you’ve reached Monica and Chandler, but if you’re calling after Saturday, you’ve reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!”
– Friends, “The One With Monica and Chandler’s Wedding”
From that same episode. I took a picture of my TV since I couldn’t find it anywhere. ^_^ (Image credit: NBC)
Mrs. Candy Apple, Princeton Junction, NJ/ Seattle, WAAge and Occupation: 26, Project EditorFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, AttorneyEngagement Date: May 9, 2010Wedding Date: August 2011Venue: St. Joseph's Parish, Seattle Tennis ClubAbout Me: I am a Pacific Northwesterner, born and bred. I have lived in many cities---Santa Clara, Durham (England); Florence; Boston; Princeton Junction---but my heart will always be nestled up near the Cascades and Olympics, which is why we are holding our wedding there. I am a bookworm and a History nerd: I love that my life consists of books, books, and more books, since I work in Publishing! Recently, all waking time not consumed by work and my daily commute has been overtaken by wedding planning. Well, that, and watching Premier-League soccer. There is nothing I love more than a good Tana French mystery, traveling to new places, Anthropologie shopping sprees, Iittala dishware, Kate Spade shoes, impeccable typefaces (think: Archer), and a nice English ale (hellooo, Old Speckled Hen!). Oh, and did I mention my obsession with wedding blogs? Yeah, there’s that too. Join Mr. Candy Apple and me as we prep for our wedding, and, more importantly, our marriage!
Hmm. Not that kind of gold digger. But I think you knew that. No, I am in fact referring to that classic song by Mr. Kanye West. You know the one: We want prenup! WE WANT PRENUP! (How can you hear that and NOT want to get up and shake your booty?!)
Ah yes, that old debate over (discussion of?) prenuptial agreements. Read more…
Mrs. Hyena, College Station, TXAge and Occupation: 23, Marketing SpecialistFiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Aerospace Engineering Grad StudentEngagement Date: January 8, 2010Wedding Date: May 2011Venue: Downtown 202About Me: I'm a Texas girl who met my future hubby in high school, then headed up to Oklahoma for a college education (BOOMER SOONER!) before moving back to the Lone Star State to be with him. I love reading and recycling, Photoshop and reality TV, making lame jokes and then laughing at them, quoting movies, and Mr. Hyena most of all. I'm perpetually early and I like to get things accomplished. When my cat meows at me, I meow back. We're planning a laid-back, unintentionally DIY wedding with a cocktail-party vibe, and can't wait to celebrate our nuptials with our nearest and dearest!
I honestly have no opinion on the whole name-change debate. I like my current name. I like Mr. Hyena’s last name. Both are difficult to pronounce, and they’re both about the same length. I think my main attachment to my current name is that I’m used to it. And, you know, change is always bad. ^_~
Mrs. Elephant, Dallas, TXAge and Occupation: 27, Financial Operations AnalystFiance's Age and Occupation: 27, IT Student/Store ManagerEngagement Date: March 29, 2009Wedding Date: April 2011Venue: The Tribute Golf ClubAbout Me: I'm a Philly native creating roots deep in the heart of Texas. I might be a little obsessed capturing those Kodak moments of anything and everything (mainly on vacations). I've become more of a gamer thanks to Mr. Elephant, who I met online and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with. We are planning a wedding based on our favorite colors, blue and green, with a travel theme for 150 of our closest friends and family. Hopefully our long (2-year) engagement won't kill me!
Mr. E had to renew his car registration, so we went ahead and applied for our marriage license since they are in the same building. One quick form, our driver’s licenses, and $67 later, and we’re ready to get married!! I joked with Mr. E when we were walking out that it was too late to turn back now. He replied that he still had 17 days.
Mrs. Hyena, College Station, TXAge and Occupation: 23, Marketing SpecialistFiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Aerospace Engineering Grad StudentEngagement Date: January 8, 2010Wedding Date: May 2011Venue: Downtown 202About Me: I'm a Texas girl who met my future hubby in high school, then headed up to Oklahoma for a college education (BOOMER SOONER!) before moving back to the Lone Star State to be with him. I love reading and recycling, Photoshop and reality TV, making lame jokes and then laughing at them, quoting movies, and Mr. Hyena most of all. I'm perpetually early and I like to get things accomplished. When my cat meows at me, I meow back. We're planning a laid-back, unintentionally DIY wedding with a cocktail-party vibe, and can't wait to celebrate our nuptials with our nearest and dearest!
Awhile back, Mr. Hyena was working on booking the cruise for our honeymoon. We’re going to be cruisin’ around Key West, Grand Cayman, and Jamaica, mon!
Mrs. Eggs Benedict, SeattleAge and Occupation: 29, AttorneyFiance's Age and Occupation: 35, AttorneyEngagement Date: December 5, 2009Wedding Date: February 2011Venue: IslandWoodAbout Me: I'm a Northwest girl who spends my time goofing around with Mr. Eggs Benedict and our dog, hiking, traveling, drinking wine and planning a wedding that will showcase the best of what the Pacific Northwest has to offer. I also love photography, beating Mr. Eggs Bene at Mario Kart, and watching the most ridiculous natural disaster flicks you can think of (seriously, how can you deny the awesomeness that is The Core or 2012?? That's right, you can't). We are planning our weekend wedding adventure at an environmental educational center, and I can't wait for the fun to begin!
Well, it’s been over a month since our wedding. And while I talked about my name change decision earlier, I haven’t yet done anything to start the process. I haven’t ordered the certified copies of our marriage license, which means that I also haven’t been able to do anything else. I haven’t even changed my name on Facebook! (Though I did think that Gmail had changed my name…)
