Weddingbee

There’s a lot there that I need to catch up on blogging about, and I’ll do my best to catch up during my time off!

The car’s going to be too stuffed for Mr. Tiramisu to come along- besides, he’s got to work (someone has to support all that wedding shoe purchasing! …kidding, kidding). I’m sad that we’ll be apart for a few weeks, but I’m really excited to get my mom and my family involved in the wedding craziness. We’ve got less than two months left, and my mom hasn’t even seen my dress yet!

Wedding stuff taking over your house too?
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We recently headed back to the place where Mr. T bought my ring- Zachary’s in Annapolis- where our favorite jeweler showed us our options for wedding bands. My ring is from the “Flyer Fit” collection by Martin Flyer, and that means there is a matching wedding band that is designed to fit snugly up against my engagement ring. I was excited to try it on and also glad that the decision was so easy. I love how the wedding band fits right up underneath the center stone. Here’s a picture from the Martin Flyer website of my engagement ring and wedding band together (mine isn’t a round stone though):

Unfortunately you can’t tell from that picture that the two fit snugly up against one another, but they do- the center prongs have a flat under-surface, if that makes any sense.

So with my ring taken care of, it was Mr. Tiramisu’s turn to look at wedding bands. He wanted something s-i-m-p-l-e. The boy could not be talked into any sort of detail whatsoever, and was even a little put-off by the “secret sapphire” that was hidden inside one of the bands he tried on. We started with platinum, but we also tried titanium, white gold, and palladium as alternatives. To be honest, I was the one who really wanted him to have a platinum band. He said it didn’t matter to him, but it just seemed unfair to me to try to skimp on his ring, while at the same time I was going to have two platinum and diamond rings. There are many arguments to be made for the other metals (besides the cost even), but for me it came down to the sentiment of wanting our rings to be made of the same material. So we picked out a simple six millimeter platinum band, headed home, and braced ourselves for the price quote phone call to come.

And holy crap, the price quote came. Turns out, since platinum is so expensive, and Mr. Tiramisu’s ring was going to have more of it than mine was, his ring was going to cost 50% MORE than mine. The total cost for the two was way over what we had budgeted.

Come on platinum. Why do you have to skyrocket during the ONE time in my life when I care what you cost?

That chart is seriously depressing.

So we did what any budget-conscious couple would do, and turned to the internet. We were sort of sad to do so, since we really loved the jeweler where we got my rings. But we just had to see what was out there. Turns out there is a lot.

After searching a lot of online wedding band websites, we liked www.iweddingband.com the best. The prices were among the best, but also important to us was the easy return policy. You can return any ring, even if it is engraved, within 30 days for your money back. There’s also no cost for engraving, finishing or for shipping.

You do have to watch out for “14K Platinum”, which is only 58% Platinum, when shopping for discounted platinum rings. The website we used sold both that and “PT950″ which is 95% platinum (that’s standard), but clearly differentiated between the two, which some websites did not.

We chose a 6 millimeter comfort fit platinum ring almost identical to the one Mr. Tiramisu had tried on:

The website offers three different finishes, and Mr. Tiramisu chose the “Satin” finish. We had the ring engraved with our initials and our wedding date- mine will have the same.

The ring arrived quickly, just as ordered, in a pretty little box and with a certificate of authenticity. I never thought I would purchase something so important (and expensive) from a website, but at almost half the cost of the jewelry store, even our jeweler said we should go for it. Mr. Tiramisu wore his ring around for a couple hours on the day it arrived (the sight of which pretty much made me squeal in delight), and was really happy with it. Mostly he was just glad that it was plain, fairly lightweight, and comfy.

I suppose it’s possible that our “platinum” ring isn’t what the fancy little certificate says it is, but we are trusting people and we’re happy with the ring. Have any of you ordered a ring - or a diamond- online sight unseen? Were you happy with it like we were? Any tales of caution?

Image sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
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This would be a neat way to share your engagement/wedding/honeymoon pictures! I was able to add this slideshow to our wedding website for our guests to check out. Animoto also offers a year subscription where you can make as many slideshows as you want for $30. (Or to save $5, tell them I referred you, by clicking: here.)

Any other good free/cheap slideshow making programs out there? I’m about to start scanning in photos to make our rehearsal dinner slideshow, so I’m looking for a good one!

Photo credits all to: Girls With Big Cameras
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You may or may not have noticed that the part about the Friday welcome dinner was mysteriously missing from the final RSVP cards. The reason for that was my FMIL changing her mind about the rehearsal dinner/welcome party invitations. We had originally planned to include them with the invites, with this card, that I worked with her and revised multiple times so that it was to everyone’s liking:We were just about to start printing these, when she let Mr. Tiramisu know that she wanted to do the invitations separately, on her own, so that they would stand out more. I was a little upset, since I had spent so much time designing all the cards- and the RSVP card- to include the welcome dinner information. I also thought that it might be confusing for our guests to receive two different invitations for our wedding weekend (remember, we’re inviting ALL of the guests to the welcome dinner), requiring them to RSVP two separate times. But I redesigned the RSVP card, switched the “Friday” card out for a website information card, and got to gocco’ing the invites.

This brings us to today, when Mr. Tiramisu let me know that his mom now wishes she could include the information about the welcome dinner in our invites. . . Now I know she doesn’t expect me to re-print the cards, but I really do agree that it would be better to include the info all together, and only require the guests to RSVP once. Because come on, people have a hard enough time RSVP’ing just the one time. I just get a little crazy when I think about un-assembling my carefully paperclipped inserts, gocco’ing new cards, reassembling… times 140 invitations.

So here are the options, as I see them… (here are the invites as they are now)

1. Print up a new “Friday” card (or print on the back of the website info card? would that be weird?) to add to the invites, and print up a new RSVP card to exchange for the old one, with spots to RSVP for both Friday and Saturday, as seen above.
2. Print up a new “Friday” card to add to the invites, and print something either on that card or on the back of the RSVP card explaining how to RSVP for the Friday dinner. What exactly, I don’t know.
3. Say sorry, it’s too late, we can’t change the cards.
4. Can anyone think of another option?

Any advice here? It’s a little bit of a sticky situation. What would you do?
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Glen Foerd is a really neat venue because of all the different locations within the house and the grounds. As the guests arrived, food and cocktails were served in the main foyer and the drawing room. The bridal party and the newlyweds were announced towards the end of the cocktail hour, and we all came down the huge staircase as we were announced. Here’s me with one of the two best men:

And here’s the new Mr. and Mrs! It was quite a grand entrance…

Josh is beaming in this (sorry, blurry) photo for a number of reasons. First of all, he just married that beautiful lady to his left. But second, that lady just pulled off an awesome surprise. Carolyn had arranged for sports announcer Harry Kalas, “the voice of the Philadelphia Phillies” to record the wedding party introductions! Josh, being the hugest Philly sports fan I know, just about died when he heard the voice come on, and I heard one of the groomsman say that it was the best day of his life, because “Harry Kalas just said my name”. Needless to say, it was a huge hit.

After the introductions, Carolyn and Josh went right into their first dance, in the drawing room:

photo by Sarah Schulte Photography

The staff at Glen Foerd was really great at smoothly moving the crowd from one room to another as the night went on… after the speeches we were all moved into the dining room, and dinner was served at two stations. The food, done by Conroy Catering, was all fabulous. Here’s the dining room:

(not from their wedding, sorry)

and here’s me with the aforementioned yummy food:

After dinner the crowd was moved again into the conservatory. This was such a cool space!

I hope you can tell from this picture that there are three different levels in the conservatory- the ground floor had tables set, a dessert table, and a coffee station. The elevated level you see in the center was surrounded by candles and was a great dance floor, and the highest level served as a stage for the band. It was a really unique space that gave plenty of room for those who wanted to dance and also a spot for taking a break or just watching the action with a slice of cake.

We had a great time as the band played until midnight when the bus arrived to take us all home.

Here’s Jenny, the maid of honor, catching the bouquet!

This one’s for reader “June2008″, as requested, a close-up of Carolyn’s bouquet:

Carolyn and Josh had Philly soft pretzels and bottled water (adorably personalized of course) waiting for the guests to grab and take on the bus ride home.

It was really fun to go to this wedding and try to see everything from a guest point of view. It was refreshing actually to see everyone so excited about the little details that I know took Carolyn so long to plan. Congratulations to the new Mr. and Mrs. who are no doubt enjoying their honeymoon in South Africa right now!

Does the way you look at weddings as a guest change now that you’re planning your own?

Picture credits: 1,2,10- Bridesmaid Jess, 3,7- Glen Foerd website, 4,5,8,9,11 - Mr. Tiramisu, 6,12,14 - Sarah Schulte Photography
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You might recognize Carolyn’s veil from my post on it- she got it at Sposabella Lace in NYC, and it was just stunning with her gown. I had sort of been planning on only wearing my veil for the ceremony, but after asking Carolyn if she was going to take hers off and hearing her cheerfully exclaim that she would be wearing it all day “and to bed”, I’m reconsidering! Hey Carolyn, ever heard of “something borrowed”? wink wink.

Almost all of the wedding guests stayed at the Omni in Philly, which was great because we could all walk to the ceremony. It was so much fun to get lots of attention and car-honking/waving on our way over. I hope the photographer got a picture of the crazy lady who threw herself out in front of traffic and held her arms up to stop it while we crossed the street.

I didn’t know that Mr. Tiramisu was taking all of these pictures! It’s hard to pick myself out of this crowd- five of the six bridesmaids were blonde I loved our flowers! Mostly pink peonies, and some mysterious green hydrangea-looking flowers that we decided weren’t. Carolyn’s bouquet also had peonies, and my favorite- ranunculus. I was excited to see them in a bouquet, as my florist said they were too delicate and that she couldn’t use them in mine… we’ll see about that!

We had to make a quick stop on the way in to fix the “C” and “J” hanging from the gate in front of the church that weren’t quite up to Carolyn’s standards

Here I am with Carolyn’s mom fixing the letters… thanks to Abby for tying the perfect bride-approved bows! I loved how my hair looked from the back! The front was ok, but my particular hairstylist was a little too fond of the shellacked hairspray look for my taste. (Carolyn’s hair was pure perfection thankfully!)

After the ceremony, Carolyn and Josh greeted their guests in the courtyard of Old St. Joe’s. There was a little break in between, where we took pictures and the guests hit up the bar back at the Omni, before a bus arrived to transport everyone to the reception. I’ll post about that tomorrow!

And since I’m totally doing these out of order, here are my favorite pics from the night before the wedding… Josh and Carolyn saying goodnight! They didn’t see each other or even talk on the phone on their wedding day, so this was a big moment. Mr. Tiramisu and I won’t be seeing each other until the altar either, but I bet there will be some calming cell phone calls needed that morning

More tomorrow!
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I was happily surprised to be contacted by a few people who know me and saw my posts just by chance (Hi Cassie!). A couple of my college friends who I haven’t talked to in years, and a girl from my hometown recognized me and wrote to say hi. I’m telling you, weddingbee is everywhere! (Like seriously everywhere- look: countries represented). There are readers in countries I can’t even pronounce. I dutifully blur out my personal info from my invitation posts and refrain from using our last names, but the truth is, our info is sort of out there for all to see.

So come out come out wherever you are… do you know one of the bees in “real life”? And am I the only blogger out there who worries a little bit about anonymity?

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Honestly, I’ve never really had a problem with the hand-written thank you note before. I’ve always almost enjoyed writing them, knowing that it’s likely that the recipient will be happy (and maybe even a little surprised) to get one. And I’ll admit, I am that annoying person who is a teensy bit offended when I don’t receive a thank you for a wedding/shower/engagement type gift.

So I didn’t think writing the thank you notes for my bridal shower gifts would be that big of a pain. I started off strong- two or three cards a night for a few nights about a week ago- but then I tapered off. I promised myself I’d send them out by tomorrow, so as to avoid paying the new postage rate (which translates into way more than a penny’s worth of hassle in going to the post office, waiting in line, and then affixing one cent stamps alongside the old ones). But wouldn’t you know I found myself last night with only a handful of thank you notes written. So much for pacing myself, I just wrote the rest of them in one sitting, for a total of FORTY thank yous. I know this is only a preview to the post-wedding marathon- HOW did you people do it?!

Why of course I took a picture.
(You’ll see I had to use up some of the custom stamps we got in a free giveaway.)

Here are my hard-earned tips:
1. Pace yourself (ha!)
2. Realize that no one is going to compare their thank yous- it is okay to write the EXACT same thing in each card!
3. Follow a formula like this one- my interpretation of the one suggested in my copy of The Wedding Blue Book (thanks, Bee!)

A. Greeting
“Dear Mrs. Smith,”
B. Thank them for coming/Tell them you missed them if they didn’t come (here’s where it’s key to remember who was actually there…)
“Thank you so much for coming to my bridal shower! It meant so much to me to have so many friends and family there.” (*this line was especially useful when I wasn’t exactly sure if the person was a Mr. Tiramisu friend or distant family- they have a huuuuge family and I admit it’s hard to keep track!)
C. The gift
“Thank you also for the beautiful [insert gift here]”/”generous gift card to [store]”
D. It’s use
“I can’t wait to use it in our new home”/”go shopping and choose something fun for our new home”
E. Mention seeing them again
“Hope to catch up with you soon!”
F. Closing
“Love,”/”Fondly,”/”Best,”/”SMOOOOOOCH.”(reserved for certain special recipients),
Miss Tiramisu

Once I figured out the handy formula I whipped these out pretty quickly. Anyone have tips for making the process smoother? Did your groom help out? You better believe Mr. Tiramisu will be writing his fair share of the wedding thank yous!

(First image from www.paper-source.com)

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We started tossing around ideas almost as soon as we got engaged. My first instinct was to go classic. “At Last” by Etta James was my earliest suggestion. This was the first dance at my brother’s wedding in 2002, and was sung by my cousin then and once more at my Aunt’s wedding. Sort of a family tradition, and my cousin has an amazing, show-stopping voice. We thought it might be nice to have a song all our own though, and also nixed it because at the ripe old age of 26 (ok, ok I’ll be 27 by our wedding), we didn’t think the sentiment of finding love “At Last” was really all that fitting.

Next on the list of traditional suggestions was “It Had to be You”, sung by Frank Sinatra. This one is frequently sung, by me, off key into Mr. Tiramisu’s ear. When actually trying to dance to the song though, we found our classy “high school prom sway” didn’t really do it justice.

Since traditional wasn’t cutting it, we next considered a couple more recent songs. One that holds special meaning for us is Bright Eyes’ “First Day of My Life”. The title is very fitting for a first dance song, no? Here are some of the lyrics that I just love:

“This is the first day of my life
I swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed
They’re spreading blankets on the beachYours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don’t know where I am
I don’t know where I’ve been
But I know where I want to go”

But one of the next lines is “I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you” which is a little bit morbid. I still love this song, but Mr. Tiramisu wasn’t as into it, and I wanted to find something we both loved.

We thought we had struck gold when we heard “All I Want is You” by U2 when we were out this past St. Patrick’s Day- we both looked at each other at the same time with the same thought when the song came on. We both love U2, and have been to two of their concerts together. As soon as I got home I googled the lyrics to over-analyze them in my usual fashion. Here they are:

You say you want
Diamonds on a ring of gold
You say you want
Your story to remain untold
But all the promises we make
From the cradle to the grave
When all I want is you

(the rest of the lyrics here)

Beautiful, right? Or is it? Is it in fact about some diamond-ring-wanting, secret-story-keeping girl whose simple boy just wants to love her? A sweet song or a rant against a crazy lover? You decide- we couldn’t. (Sidenote: Turns out there are a lot of U2 songs that raise similar confusion… the ever popular “One” sounds nice, but what about this line- “You ask me to enter/But then you make me crawl/And I can’t keep holding on/To what you got/When all you’ve got is hurt”?) I’m really into lyrics, and so I just couldn’t sway with my new husband to a song I wasn’t sure about.

We came thisclose to using our runner-up song: “We Got Love” by Ryan Shaw. Never heard of it? That’s actually one of the reasons why we decided not to use it. Ryan Shaw is a new artist that Mr. Tiramisu and I both love. We went to see him play at a small venue in Annapolis recently. This song is perfect, but it’s maybe a little too upbeat for our first dance. We’re hoping to get our band to learn to play it for the second dance… the one that gets the party started.

The winning song was suggested by Mr. Tiramisu (and ignored by me!) very early on in the process. It didn’t stand out to me at first, but we kept coming back to it, and as is custom in my wedding planning ways, if Mr. Tiramisu feels strongly about something (since he lets me make pretty much all of the decisions), I’ll go for it. And now I think this song is just perfect. No questionable lyrics, and it’s so beautiful and classic like I originally wanted. We didn’t start out with an “our song” but we’ll have one now: “That’s How Strong My Love Is” by Otis Redding.

If I was the sun way up there
I’d go with love most everywhere
I’ll be the moon when the sun goes down
Just to let you know that I’m still aroundThat’s how strong my love is, oh
That’s how strong my love is,
That’s how strong my love is, baby, baby,
That’s how strong my love is.

(the rest of the lyrics here)

We’ll be sure to finish it off with a big dip… the best part of a first dance Anyone else without an “our song”? How did you choose the one for your first dance?

Photo by Girls With Big Cameras
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A mass RSVP email from one of Mr. Tiramisu’s friends! We’re all 26 and have officially entered the wedding season of our lives, so I can see his point and we didn’t mind his pre-emptive strike, as Mr. T called it.

I’m sure someone can beat my count of six… are you attending a crazy amount of weddings this summer?
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