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Miss Blue Whale's Picture
Miss Blue Whale, College Park, MD Age and Occupation: 27, Graduate Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Graduate Student Engagement Date: March 10, 2012 Wedding Date: May 2013 Venue: Southern Tree Plantation in Blairsville, GA About Me: I love bright colors, glitter, sugar, cheese, tiny animals, talking in silly accents, dancing, and all things music. I love to plan things, but when it comes time to execute the plans, I tend to panic. My friends tell me that I remind them of a mix between a cartoon character and a Disney Princess. Mr. Blue Whale and I are Southerners at heart, but we’ve been transplanted to the East Coast for school. We both love barbecues, star-gazing, bonfires, music, making up nonsense words, and generally being silly. Our wedding will be a fun-filled destination wedding in the Blue Ridge Mountains. It will most certainly feature bright colors, '80s music, and glitter.
About Miss Blue Whale

Till Debt Do Us Part

January 29th, 2013 @ 2:01 pm by Miss Blue Whale

I don’t remember where I read it, but I know I’ve seen some statistic that disagreements over money are what most commonly end marriages.

Till Debt Do Us Part :  wedding college park money relationships BW 300x211

Image from Active Rain

I’m going to try really, really hard not to let that happen to us. If I may toot my own horn for a moment (toot toot!), I’m pretty good with money. I’m not a financial guru or anything. But I don’t have any debt. I pay my bills on time. I try to save money where I can.

Mr. Whale on the other hand…He does…fine. He’s not a spend-a-holic. But he’ll tell you flat out that he hates money. He wishes it didn’t exist. (As an economist, I try to explain to him how it does make our lives easier, but…nevermind. It’s not important for this.) In any case, he spends what he needs to. But after going back to undergraduate once and now being a graduate student, sometimes even just buying what you need means going into debt.

And because Mr. Whale has some debt, I’m trying to get used to the fact that I, too, will soon have debt. I don’t have to assume any part of his debt, of course. We could keep our finances separate, and he could deal with it on his own. But after more than a year of living together and keeping separate finances the entire time, I can tell you that unless you’ve got a ton of money, keeping things separate is tough enough on its own. We evenly split the groceries, the rent, and the utilities. And when we go out to eat, we just take turns on who pays. But it’s a hassle. Every month I have to get all the receipts, add them up, figure out who owes what, then we settle up via paying more or less rent. And what if we have a fancy meal that costs a little more than usual? Should we still just trade off on who pays for that meal? Ugh. It’s a mess.

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Mrs. Sword's Picture
Mrs. Sword, Chicago Age and Occupation: 28, Nanny/Actress Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Software Engineer Engagement Date: February 19, 2012 Wedding Date: March 2013 Venue: Embassy Suites Bloomington West in Bloomington, MN About Me: I am a true girly-girl originally from the great state of Minnesota and my fiancé hails from the beautiful country of Scotland. We met and fell in love in our favorite city, Chicago, and are having a blast blending our cultures for "A Highland Fairy Tale" wedding! We are truly a case of opposites attract in that he’s a world traveling introvert and I’m a social butterfly who is never too far from home. We both love hanging out with family and friends, fine dining, and laughing at ourselves. He drinks a lot of beer and I talk too much. We wouldn’t have it any other way!
About Mrs. Sword

Unfortunately AND FORTUNATELY, my wedding planning time is almost up. The Sword’s Big Day is just around the corner and I literally can’t believe I’ve been engaged since last February. Life has flown by in the best of ways during this year and I have enjoyed nearly every second of it. I’ve also learned a ton about what has benefited us the most while being engaged and I’d love to pass my insight on to you.

If you just got engaged over the holidays (congrats) or if you’re still in the early stages of planning, this list is for you!

Miss Sword’s Six Tips for the “Year of the Wedding” (length of “wedding year” can vary from a few months to multiple years)

1. Sign up for a PO Box. This has been hands down the smartest thing we ever did. These days it’s not common for couples to be living together before marriage and to be living in an apartment or a condo. If you live in a place with a tiny mailbox or a slightly unsafe area (heeey big cities!), then a PO Box is the safest way to receive packages, gifts, letters and wedding response cards. We reserved one this past August through UPS for 14 months and it was $360. Every time we order something important (like a gift for our parents, my shoes, the guestbook, etc.), we have it sent to the PO Box. We also put this address on our wedding website and registries so our personal address isn’t plastered everywhere and our wedding gifts are sent straight to the UPS store as opposed to being stuck outside in the snow or at another location because they can’t be delivered. The best part is that they send us an email and a text every time we receive a package, so usually once or twice a week I hop in the car and drive the one mile to our PO Box to pick up our loot. This one from Thursday was particularly awesome. See below.

Six Tips To Make Your “Year of the Wedding” A Little Bit Easier :  wedding minnesota money relationships Wedding Stuff And Museum Jan 2013 024 wedding-stuff-and-museum-jan-2013-024

2. Keep extra thank you cards and stamps nearby for quick return on sending those thank you cards out the door. Most of us are lucky enough to have bridal showers, bachelor/bachelorette parties, and to receive gifts before the wedding. The best way to show your appreciation for everyone’s time and generosity is to get your thank you cards out in a prompt and quick fashion. This also helps your mental state as well because it’s an easy and fast way to check something off your long to-do list. I gave myself three weeks after each event or party and a week after a wedding gift is delivered to get my thank you note in the mail. You don’t have to write a novel, just sincere appreciation from the heart. I try to buy a set of thank-you cards for each event and then to mix and match extras as not everyone is invited to each event. Does that make sense? I’m really looking forward to using our Once Upon a Time themed thank yous (yet to be revealed) that we ordered from Minted with our invitations to thank everyone for attending our wedding.

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Mrs. Spring Roll's Picture
Mrs. Spring Roll, Tampa Age and Occupation: 23, Certified Pharmacy Technician Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Concert Photographer Engagement Date: May 1, 2008 Wedding Date: March 2009 Blogging Since: September 16, 2008 Venue: Beach Social Hall About Me: I'm the stereotypical girl who enjoys sewing, baking, and decorating. I am blessed to share my life with Mr. Spring Roll and our two shih tzu's, Isabella and Gabriella. Hello Kitty, musicals, Target, and Chick-fil-a are a few of my favorite things. I have a fear of fish and Freddy Krueger. Planning our wedding has become a huge part of my life, and I love every minute of it!
About Mrs. Spring Roll

Joining of the Spring Rolls

November 12th, 2008 @ 1:27 pm by Mrs. Spring Roll

Yesterday was a big day for Mr. Spring Roll and me. No, we didn’t elope. We opened our first joint bank account. Sister Spring Roll works as a Personal Finance Representative at WaMu. Needless to say, we visited her branch for our big day.

Joining of the Spring Rolls :  wedding money tampa 100 476

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Mrs. Pinot Noir's Picture
Mrs. Pinot Noir, New York/Napa Valley Age and Occupation: 24, Health Educator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Market Researcher Engagement Date: November 10, 2007 Wedding Date: October, 2008 Blogging Since: June 25, 2008 Venue: Auberge du Soleil About Me: I am a Minnesota raised, NYC transplant planning a destination wedding in Napa. I'm balancing my love for the environment and my hubby-to-be's love for tradition to create our "green wedding in disguise." Our wedding will include local food and wine, antique touches and lots of love and laughter. When wedding planning isn't taking up my free time (and money) I love to read, cook, workout, watch baseball and travel! Follow along in my adventure as I attempt to plan an eco-friendly and socially responsible wedding (with eco-oblivious Mr. Pinot Noir).
About Mrs. Pinot Noir

For Richer, For Poorer

November 11th, 2008 @ 12:27 pm by Mrs. Pinot Noir

Like many couples, Mr. PN and I have different views when it comes to finance. I am a penny-pincher and he tends to splurge a little more. Occasionally this causes conflict, but for the most part we keep each other on track. He reminds me that it is okay to spend money on clothes, nice haircuts and a pedicure (all things I view as non-essential), and I remind him that our TV is just fine and doesn’t need to be replaced yet (since it is less than 2 years old!).**

The number one conflict in marriage is money, and one of the biggest factors that contribute to divorce court is debt. Now let’s face it, money is very unromantic. It can be difficult to discuss and if you and your honey have different spending habits (which is often the case) it can be even harder to reconcile.

For Richer, For Poorer :  wedding money napa valley Marriag

[Source]

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Mrs. Tulip's Picture
Mrs. Tulip, DC Age and Occupation: 36, Retired Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Counsel/DOO for Small Gov't Contractor Engagement Date: August 8, 2007 Wedding Date: March, 2008 Venue: Still Looking! About Me: In all my dreams of the man I'd someday marry, I never pictured anyone as perfect for me as Mr. Tulip. So now we just have to make it through the craziness of the wedding and the moving in together! I love crafts, sewing, jewelry making, and photography, so am looking forward to this chance for DIY fun. When not wedding planning, I'm playing with our dog and 4 cats, Ebay shopping, or watching too much TV (often simultaneously!).
About Mrs. Tulip

There’s an interesting thread on the Weddingbee boards at the moment discussing what it means to have a “budget wedding.” Some say the term means sticking strictly within a defined wedding budget. Others believe it’s a synonym for “inexpensive,” especially if you are able to pull off something that looks more expensive than its actual cost.

In our case, I’m not sure how well we did with #1. We spent what we spent, and I made some unwise and even wasteful purchases. But I’d like to think #2 came out well. Everyone has different definitions of “inexpensive.” But Mr. T and I were married in an extremely expensive area, with a celebration that included everything we cared about … for $8,800.

Here’s the breakdown of how we spent that sum, along with some tips for other would-be “budget” brides. (And some last favorites from Punam Bean’s wonderful photos!):

The Tulips' Budget, and Budget Wedding Tips :  wedding budget money recap T1.jpg Read more…

Mrs. Green Tea's Picture
Mrs. Green Tea, Sacramento Age and Occupation: 30, Tea Analyst Fiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Coffee Critic Engagement Date: November 17, 2006 Wedding Date: August 23, 2008 Blogging Since: June 10, 2008 Venue: Vineyard on the Delta About Me: I'm just your average obsessive compulsive, arts & crafts loving, funky-on-the-inside/boring-on-the-outside girl, who dares to say 'Hey! I can make that!' Nerdy professional by day, goofy won-ton by night. The won-ton sometimes comes out during the day when I'm fed the dollar breakfast at Ikea. Since our engagement, wedding planning has put me on high alert for bargains and I've been pushing my nimble fingers through callous building experiments!
About Mrs. Green Tea

Within Means

June 30th, 2008 @ 5:20 pm by Mrs. Green Tea

Within Means :  wedding money sacramento Budget.jpg

“It’s once in a lifetime…”

I hear this a lot. It’s what people tell me when I hesitate about making a wedding purchase due to cost. Sometimes people feel so passionately about what they think I deserve that I end up having to defend myself. These good intentioned debates usually halt completely when someone suggests involvement of my plastic buddy. I guess that’s where I draw the line.
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Mrs. Onion's Picture
Miss Onion, NYC/Burlington, VT Age and Occupation: 27, PR & Marketing and Jazz Singer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Data Analyst Engagement Date: April 2, 2006 Wedding Date: September 2007 Blogging Since: July 11, 2007 Venue: Restaurant in Burlington About Me: I didn't think I'd be "that girl," but I am having so much fun planning our wedding (mostly by myself). I'm a PR and Marketing Director for a major jazz festival and camp by day, and by night, a romantic jazz singer and bride-to-be! I hope all my research can help other brides in their planning.
About Mrs. Onion

What’s In Your Spouse’s Wallet?

June 17th, 2008 @ 2:20 pm by Mrs. Onion

According to an article on CNNMoney.com, a growing body of research shows that married couples are astonishingly clueless about many aspects of their financial life together. In a recent poll, four out of five respondents revealed that they hide purchases from the one they love.

What's In Your Spouse's Wallet? :  wedding money Spouses1 spouses

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Tags: | 10 Comments 
Mrs. Toucan's Picture
Mrs. Toucan, Boston Age and Occupation: 25, Full-time Research Assistant, Part-time Graduate Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Actuary Engagement Date: February 18, 2007 Wedding Date: June 7, 2008 Blogging Since: November 07, 2007 Venue: St. Catherine of Genoa, Jin Asian Cuisine Restaurant About Me: I’m a Gemini to the extreme. On one side, I’m a girly girl. I read countless bridal and fashion magazines, and have an obsession with keeping up with the latest Hollywood gossip. On the other side, I’m a sports fanatic. Despite being a full-time bride-to be, full-time research assistant, and part-time student, I’m also a full-time Red Sox fan from spring training to October, and a full-time Patriots fan from mini-camp to February. I devote almost as much time researching my for fantasy football team as researching for our wedding!
About Mrs. Toucan

Spenders vs. Savers

March 11th, 2008 @ 11:33 am by Mrs. Toucan

We had a little discussion over in the BeeTV chatroom the other day about our spending habits and our significant other’s spending habits. Mr. Toucan is definitely a saver, while I on the other hand, am not. If shopping was a sport, I’d be on the varsity squad. I have a hard time saying ‘no’ to good deals, and have a particular weakness toward dresses and shoes.

Spenders vs. Savers :  wedding money Spendersaver

Poorly edited by me in Paint – Original photo by Robert Mirani

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Tags: | 15 Comments 
Mrs. Cream Puff's Picture
Mrs. Cream Puff, San Francisco Bay Area Age and Occupation: 25, Illustrator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Merchandise Planner Engagement Date: May 27, 2007 Wedding Date: August, 2008 Blogging Since: February 7, 2008 Venue: Ceremony at Crissy Field and Reception at the Green Room About Me: I never dreamed about my wedding as a little girl because I was too busy playing in the mud or pretending to be Martha Stewart–but now that it's here, I'm having a fabulous time DIYing everything in sight! We’re planning a very fun multicultural wedding (I'm Jewish and Mr. Cream Puff is Chinese), filled with as many personal details as I can muster.
About Mrs. Cream Puff

Get Your Act Together, Sisters!

February 14th, 2008 @ 4:01 pm by Mrs. Cream Puff

Confession: I love Oprah. I tivo her and watch almost every episode. Yesterday’s program about women & money really got me thinking about us (and by “us” I mean you and me, wedding bee readers). We are at one of very few starting points in our lives, ladies. With marriage comes a lot of changes, and some of those changes relate to money.

Ah, money. It keeps me up at night, because I never seem to have enough of it. Mr. Cream Puff has much more of it than I do, but he’s in debt, too. Combined, we have over $30k in student loans, most of it mine. I feel responsible for every penny of it.

Every couple deals with money issues differently. My co-workers and I had a discussion about this the other day, when one of them asked, “when you don’t have any money, do you ask Mr. Cream Puff for some? Do you have a joint banking account?” My answer to both of those questions is “no.” Mr. Cream Puff and I keep our finances pretty separate. However, a lot of couples deal with their finances differently–some share everything, and some split everything right down the middle.
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Mrs. Hummingbird's Picture
Mrs. Hummingbird, Toronto Age and Occupation: 25, Publishing Coordinator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Videogame Designer/Cartoonist Engagement Date: May 4, 2007 Wedding Date: June 28, 2008 Blogging Since: September 18, 2007 Venue: A garden wedding followed by a tented reception on Mr. Hummingbird's father's property. About Me: I’m a pop culture loving, vintage obsessed foodie living in Canada’s biggest city with my fantastic fiancé and our lovable fluffy cat Bettie. I’m stoked to marry my best friend and to throw what I hope will be the most fun and colourful party of our lives.
About Mrs. Hummingbird

The Worst Number In The World…

February 8th, 2008 @ 3:28 pm by Mrs. Hummingbird

The Worst Number In The World... :  wedding money toronto Z131161 bankbalance
Strip courtesy of the now defunct Patrick Grey. R.I.P. Patrick.

Is the balance of my bank account.

Even though I always understood that weddings cost money, I was never really aware of how much money until I started paying for mine.

I’ll admit I was a fool. I should have known that the numbers floating around in my head were unreasonable, even doing things the budget way, but I was optimistic and figured that with a little elbow grease and ingenuity, we could squeak by with our meager budget. Oh how wrong I was . . .

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Mrs. Onion's Picture
Miss Onion, NYC/Burlington, VT Age and Occupation: 27, PR & Marketing and Jazz Singer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Data Analyst Engagement Date: April 2, 2006 Wedding Date: September 2007 Blogging Since: July 11, 2007 Venue: Restaurant in Burlington About Me: I didn't think I'd be "that girl," but I am having so much fun planning our wedding (mostly by myself). I'm a PR and Marketing Director for a major jazz festival and camp by day, and by night, a romantic jazz singer and bride-to-be! I hope all my research can help other brides in their planning.
About Mrs. Onion

Savings And Budgeting

November 16th, 2007 @ 11:34 am by Mrs. Onion

Miss Toucan posted yesterday about a savings “account” they use — a change jar for all their loose change! Mr. Onion and I do this as well. I had a gallon jar filled with change before we moved in together and cashed it in for extra moving expenses - it was about $400!

Savings And Budgeting :  wedding money Cimg178

Our first vacation together led us to Burlington, VT, where we ended up getting married. On that trip we took a tour of the Magic Hat Brewery and we went home with a growler of what they had on tap that weekend. We kept the bottle and now put our change in it as we’re saving up for our first home. They actually wrote “new apartment fund” on it at Magic Hat and we didn’t notice until we got home!

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Tags: | 5 Comments 
Mrs. Toucan's Picture
Mrs. Toucan, Boston Age and Occupation: 25, Full-time Research Assistant, Part-time Graduate Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Actuary Engagement Date: February 18, 2007 Wedding Date: June 7, 2008 Blogging Since: November 07, 2007 Venue: St. Catherine of Genoa, Jin Asian Cuisine Restaurant About Me: I’m a Gemini to the extreme. On one side, I’m a girly girl. I read countless bridal and fashion magazines, and have an obsession with keeping up with the latest Hollywood gossip. On the other side, I’m a sports fanatic. Despite being a full-time bride-to be, full-time research assistant, and part-time student, I’m also a full-time Red Sox fan from spring training to October, and a full-time Patriots fan from mini-camp to February. I devote almost as much time researching my for fantasy football team as researching for our wedding!
About Mrs. Toucan

No Jingly Pockets For Us!

November 15th, 2007 @ 12:56 pm by Mrs. Toucan

When Mr. Toucan and I moved in together, I realized we both kept little stashes of coins for a rainy day. Most of my coins were saved up from when I worked as a waitress, and always had some extra change from tips. I’m actually not sure where all Mr. Toucan’s change came from…

Anyway, Mr. Toucan kept his change in a giant glass bottle. Come to think of it, I think he’s been hoarding change because he likes the look of the glass bottle. So, we decided to combine both of our “rainy day funds” together. I put all my change into his glass bottle:

No Jingly Pockets For Us! :  wedding money Img 11602

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Tags: | 25 Comments 
Mrs. Hummingbird's Picture
Mrs. Hummingbird, Toronto Age and Occupation: 25, Publishing Coordinator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Videogame Designer/Cartoonist Engagement Date: May 4, 2007 Wedding Date: June 28, 2008 Blogging Since: September 18, 2007 Venue: A garden wedding followed by a tented reception on Mr. Hummingbird's father's property. About Me: I’m a pop culture loving, vintage obsessed foodie living in Canada’s biggest city with my fantastic fiancé and our lovable fluffy cat Bettie. I’m stoked to marry my best friend and to throw what I hope will be the most fun and colourful party of our lives.
About Mrs. Hummingbird

Dollars and Sense

October 30th, 2007 @ 11:03 am by Mrs. Hummingbird

In light of my last post, I figured I’d write kind of a how-to follow up for people who maybe haven’t had the big money talk with their families yet. It can be a really hard thing to talk about, especially because there’s kind of this general idea floating around that the love and happiness of your big day shouldn’t be tainted with talk of dollars and cents, but really, when it comes down to it, the bottom line can be a really big deal and one of the first things you should deal with when planning so that it doesn’t cost you a huge amount of grief later.

So my tips for “The Talk”.

1. Be united – Before you go in to talking to either set of parents, talk things out with your partner to make sure you’re on the same page. Work out the things you might need help with and then, when you go into the talk, have the person whose parents you are talking to take the lead in terms of navigating the conversation. There is nothing more awkward or unfair than forcing your honey to hit up your parents for cash.

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Mrs. Hummingbird's Picture
Mrs. Hummingbird, Toronto Age and Occupation: 25, Publishing Coordinator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Videogame Designer/Cartoonist Engagement Date: May 4, 2007 Wedding Date: June 28, 2008 Blogging Since: September 18, 2007 Venue: A garden wedding followed by a tented reception on Mr. Hummingbird's father's property. About Me: I’m a pop culture loving, vintage obsessed foodie living in Canada’s biggest city with my fantastic fiancé and our lovable fluffy cat Bettie. I’m stoked to marry my best friend and to throw what I hope will be the most fun and colourful party of our lives.
About Mrs. Hummingbird

Money Talks

October 29th, 2007 @ 5:16 pm by Mrs. Hummingbird

It’s funny how a little bit of time can change things. When I originally wrote my post about my parents and my financial situation surrounding our wedding, it was not too long after we’d gotten engaged and I think my parents, even though they were happy for Mr. Hummingbird and myself, were kind of weirded out about the idea of me, their only child, getting married.

After we made our announcement, as if it was almost a reflex, the first words out of my mother’s mouth were “We’re not paying for it,” even though I hadn’t expected or asked my parents to. I’m not sure exactly which emotion motivated the reaction. Maybe it was surprise at our big news. Maybe it was confusion because I once announced as a teenager that I would never get married. Maybe it was fear after seeing the increasingly elaborate and expensive wedding plans being staged by her friend’s daughter. I don’t know. All I knew was I made my announcement, my mom said no and I immediately figured that was the end of it.

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Tags: , | 5 Comments 
Mrs. Hummingbird's Picture
Mrs. Hummingbird, Toronto Age and Occupation: 25, Publishing Coordinator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Videogame Designer/Cartoonist Engagement Date: May 4, 2007 Wedding Date: June 28, 2008 Blogging Since: September 18, 2007 Venue: A garden wedding followed by a tented reception on Mr. Hummingbird's father's property. About Me: I’m a pop culture loving, vintage obsessed foodie living in Canada’s biggest city with my fantastic fiancé and our lovable fluffy cat Bettie. I’m stoked to marry my best friend and to throw what I hope will be the most fun and colourful party of our lives.
About Mrs. Hummingbird

As I mentioned in my previous entry, as much as I wish it were not the case, money is a concern for us as we plan our big day.

From the minute we got engaged, I was told by my parents that they would not be contributing financially in any way to help us pay for our big day. My mother thinks that long engagements are ridiculous and both my parents feel that it is a big waste of money on what “essentially boils down to a big party.” This reaction did not surprise me since I have always known my parents to have very set ideas about money, especially due to the three years of financial hardship we faced when my father was unexpectedly laid off from his job. When he became re-employed, he not only ended up having to take a pay cut (his senior management salary was considered too much) but we ended up moving into a smaller house and a precedent was set – every man for himself.
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