Dollars and Sense
October 30th, 2007 @ 11:03 am by Mrs. Hummingbird
In light of my last post, I figured I’d write kind of a how-to follow up for people who maybe haven’t had the big money talk with their families yet. It can be a really hard thing to talk about, especially because there’s kind of this general idea floating around that the love and happiness of your big day shouldn’t be tainted with talk of dollars and cents, but really, when it comes down to it, the bottom line can be a really big deal and one of the first things you should deal with when planning so that it doesn’t cost you a huge amount of grief later.
So my tips for “The Talk”.
1. Be united – Before you go in to talking to either set of parents, talk things out with your partner to make sure you’re on the same page. Work out the things you might need help with and then, when you go into the talk, have the person whose parents you are talking to take the lead in terms of navigating the conversation. There is nothing more awkward or unfair than forcing your honey to hit up your parents for cash.
Money Talks
October 29th, 2007 @ 5:16 pm by Mrs. Hummingbird
It’s funny how a little bit of time can change things. When I originally wrote my post about my parents and my financial situation surrounding our wedding, it was not too long after we’d gotten engaged and I think my parents, even though they were happy for Mr. Hummingbird and myself, were kind of weirded out about the idea of me, their only child, getting married.
After we made our announcement, as if it was almost a reflex, the first words out of my mother’s mouth were “We’re not paying for it,” even though I hadn’t expected or asked my parents to. I’m not sure exactly which emotion motivated the reaction. Maybe it was surprise at our big news. Maybe it was confusion because I once announced as a teenager that I would never get married. Maybe it was fear after seeing the increasingly elaborate and expensive wedding plans being staged by her friend’s daughter. I don’t know. All I knew was I made my announcement, my mom said no and I immediately figured that was the end of it.
Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want…
October 26th, 2007 @ 5:40 pm by Mrs. Hummingbird
As I mentioned in my previous entry, as much as I wish it were not the case, money is a concern for us as we plan our big day.
From the minute we got engaged, I was told by my parents that they would not be contributing financially in any way to help us pay for our big day. My mother thinks that long engagements are ridiculous and both my parents feel that it is a big waste of money on what “essentially boils down to a big party.” This reaction did not surprise me since I have always known my parents to have very set ideas about money, especially due to the three years of financial hardship we faced when my father was unexpectedly laid off from his job. When he became re-employed, he not only ended up having to take a pay cut (his senior management salary was considered too much) but we ended up moving into a smaller house and a precedent was set - every man for himself.
Read more…
Budgeting As A Married Couple
October 24th, 2007 @ 3:36 pm by Mrs. Apple
Now that Mr. Apple and I are hitched, we’re really trying to budget as a married couple. Budgeting was easier when I was single since I knew what I was bringing in and what items I was spending on. But now that we’re married, everything doubles up - the food expense, the traveling expense, the income (yeah!). We have our own separate accounts, and we also have a joint account, a shared credit card, our personal debt, and future investments. Though we think we have a good handle on our current financial situation, it wouldn’t hurt to narrow it down to exact figures. Every penny does count!
Anyone have any good suggestions on software for MACs and Windows?
I think this would be great information for those brides who are still in the engagement stage as well. You can get started now and it will be an easier transition when you do get married. 
Money Talks…
October 23rd, 2007 @ 1:49 pm by Mrs. Violet
We had quite a busy weekend. Birthday celebrations, a karate tournament, apartment chores and errands.. but most importantly, the one thing we did accomplish this weekend was planning our financial future together.
I think I’m a dreamer. I live thinking that as long as I’m making some kind of money, I’ll be fine as long as I designate my husband to handle all the finances. I hate financial talk. I’m seriously not a numbers person and even when my financial friends talk about money, they start losing my focus after about a minute. However, a dreamer still needs to eat and live.
On the flip side, I am also realistic. I worry a lot. I worry that we won’t have enough money left to do what we want (travel, buy a home, eventually have children). I realized this weekend (it only took 8 years) that I can’t just leave it up to my husband, because he can’t do it all. Just like I couldn’t plan our wedding entirely by myself (although I tried really hard to), this is a team effort. I need to get involved and work out a plan.
What’s Mine Is Yours
October 11th, 2007 @ 11:32 am by Mrs. Penguin
Money. The most dreaded topic.
What to do with our finances after we officially become Mr. and Mrs.? I’m an independent contractor, meaning that I don’t get a regular paycheck, but work job to job. So for tax purposes, I keep close tabs on my business expenses, and have 2 separate bank accounts, one business and one personal. I only transfer money into my personal account to cover my minimum personal expenses, and leave the majority “pool” of money I have in my business account. Long story short, a joint checking account would be really unfair to Mr. Penguin, because he would deposit ALL the money he makes into the account, while I would deposit a minimum amount to cover my personal credit card.
Lately, not having combined accounts has really gotten on my nerves. Now that we cohabitate, I’m sick of deciding who pays for groceries, who pays for dinner, who pays for plants, furniture, ANYTHING. It’s not even a “50/50″ thing, because neither of us care about who’s paying more or less, its more of deciding who has more money on hand at that particular moment. And after 2 years, it’s getting exhausting.
Money Help
September 28th, 2007 @ 1:25 pm by Mrs. Kiwi
I’ve been reminding (ahem, nagging) Mr. Kiwi to get his suit. With 36 days to go, we kind of need to get going on that. I wasn’t worried about my dad’s suit- he’s pretty easy to size off the rack. Mr. Kiwi, on the other hand, is a XXXL size, and about 6’2″, with thighs (muscular) the size of hams. I call them his “foghorn leghorns”, in reference to the Looney Toons character.
No More Honeymoon
August 24th, 2007 @ 2:13 pm by Mrs. Peony
Last night I had a dream that Mr. Peony and I were on our honeymoon and having the time of our lives. When I woke up, I couldn’t help but be sad…..because we had just recently decided that we will not be going on a honeymoon.
When I first started budgeting for our wedding, I was taking national averages of vendor costs. It never occurred to me that a New York wedding would cost so much more. Some of the things we’re doing, such as the charter bus to and from the reception, are not necessary but I really want it as a courtesy to our many guests who are arriving from all over the world.
In addition, Mr. Peony and I just signed a contract for a condo! I honestly did not think we would find something we both love this fast. The rest of the nation may be in a real estate recession, but the NYC area is still red-hot. We knew that if we didn’t grab it, we wouldn’t be able to find anything comparable for a long time.
Reader Buzz: Budget Overages
July 12th, 2007 @ 7:53 pm by Reader Buzz
Commenter Red had a good point about how most brides exceeded their initial budgets in our Real Reader Budgets post earlier today. So we’d like to know how much your budget has changed from your initial estimate, to what it is now (mid or post planning).
My Money? His Money?
July 11th, 2007 @ 7:23 pm by Mrs. Kiwi
Yesterday I accompanied Mr. Kiwi to the bank, for the reason of it being air-conditioned and banky-smelling. I have a weird love for the smells of places: banks, bookstores, laundromats. Anyway, after he made his deposit, we started walking out, and I asked him when he’d like to open our joint accounts.
All along, we figured we’d have a joint checking and savings. As of right now, I have a checking and savings account, and my IRA account. Mr. Kiwi also has a checking and savings account, as well as a credit union designed for teachers. If we were to also open at least one joint checking, we’d have a combined total of 7 accounts. That’s just crazy, right?
