Weddingbee

Hello bees! I know, it’s been far too long. I have to admit that I’ve been hibernating in our Chicago apartment, thoroughly enjoying married life. I spent the weekend devouring the Martha Stewart holiday issue, cooking from my new Indian cookbook, and snuggling with Mr. Jasmine. For all of you in the midst of wedding planning stress, take heart: a relaxing, blissful married life awaits you!

Last week, I took a big (belated) step: I finally changed my name. It was very strange to see “Jasmine Married Name” on my social security card, but I was also overjoyed. That is, until I realized what a pain it is to make sure your maiden name and your married name are “linked up”. For example, I was updating my resume with my new name when a thought occurred to me: what if a prospective employer does a background check? They won’t find record of a “Jasmine Married Name” at any of my previous schools or jobs. I finally decided to add “formerly Jasmine Maiden Name” to my resume, so hopefully that solves that problem. But it’s still confusing for work matters where I started a case with one name, but will now go by another name.

For those of you that changed your name, how did you connect your maiden name and married name in your professional life?

We made it back from the Philippines, and we’re in Detroit right now! We have a layover for a couple of hours before we catch a flight back to NYC, so I’m just checking in on Weddingbee.  It was a grueling trip with four flights: El Nido to Manila to Nagoya to Detroit to Manhattan, but we’re finally here!  

While we’re waiting for our connecting flight, I wanted to share a little secret with you guys.  I changed my last name a year ago on my driver’s license and social security card, but being the ultimate procrastinator that I am, I neglected to change my name on anything else… including my passport.

I chanced it and left the country with my passport bearing my maiden name.  And I’m happy to say that I made it through customs and into the States with no problem at all.  (Not that I’m endorsing that you do this in any way! )

It took me almost three years to change my name.  Our 4th anniversary is coming up.  Hopefully I’ll finally get around to changing my name on my passport, bank accounts, credit cards, etc. before our 5th anniversary.

For those of you changing your last names, how long is it taking you to complete the process?

Mrs. Hydrangea posted recently about her decision to change her name in a rather unusual way, and it got me thinking about my name decision (ahem, more like a non-decision). Having been married before, I’ve done the name change thing (and then reversed it). The whole thing was awful. When I first adopted my new married name, I felt lost, like all of my history up to that point had been wiped out, even though I was 21 at the time. Then when I reverted to my maiden name, I was even more devastated. In the years I was married, I graduated and my career really took off. Suddenly, the plaques and awards on my wall were in a different name. “That’s not me anymore!” I’d think each time I’d look at them… but I’d left my maiden name so long before that it didn’t feel right either. And I won’t mention the awkwardness of being congratulated by coworkers (whom I obviously didn’t know very well) on my marriage when in fact my name changed because of the d-word.
Read more…

Yesterday I took on the task of changing my name. I collected all of the proper paperwork and headed out to do the following, in this order:1) Get two certified copies of my marriage certificate.

2) Change Driver’s License.

3) Change Social Security.

I’m going to share my experiences with you all, but please know that this was only my personal experience in the State of Texas. While I work in the big city of Dallas, I opted to go back near our home, in a smaller town and much smaller county, to avoid lines (which I highly recommend). In total, with all transit times, it took me 3 hours to complete all of my tasks, plus I stopped at home to fill and print out my passport info and get pictures taken at my local Walgreens.
Read more…

In my previous blog about the DMV, I told you all about being denied the ability to change my name to First Maiden Newlast. Well, my darling readers, I made myself an 8:45am appointment at the Culver City DMV, planning on being denied for a third time.

Despite being allowed to sleep in this morning until 8am (unlike my usual wakeup time at 6:15am), I woke up at 6:30 anyway. My stomach was turning with the anticipation of the morning’s appointment, and it was all I could do to not show up an hour early! It was nice, though, taking my sweet time getting ready, sitting on the couch in my jammies with Woofie on my lap, watching last night’s Oscar fashion roundup.

Finally, it came time to go, and I made sure to bring my manila folder that contained my marriage certificate, my new DMV application that I filled out last night, my new Social Security card, my IRA statement, insurance cards and ATM cards that had my new information on it. What was I trying to do? Honestly, I was thinking I could collect as much information with my new name on it, hoping they would just give in.
Read more…

Oh DMV, how I despise you. You make me wait for an hour to be seen on a beautiful Friday afternoon, only to be rejected for a new ID. My Social Security card is not enough to convince you that I don’t want to keep my middle name, no, I just want my First Maiden NewLast. It seems simple, right? After all, the SS office had no problem with it.

On Friday, I went to the Santa Monica DMV location, armed with my certified marriage license, my Social Security card, and my Name-Change form. My dad and I sat there amongst the herd, anxiously awaiting the moment G189 would be called. And waited. And waited. I went over the name form to make sure I entered everything correctly, and finally! I was called up. Thinking I was looking stylin’ with my hair down and my makeup camera-ready, I calmly strode up to the counter, only to be told that I can’t change my name to First Maiden NewLast. Why, you ask? Because my CA marriage certificate lists my name as First Middle Maiden, and if I want to change it, I must add the middle name to my other names. Now, I really don’t want a four name name, ya know? That’s okay for other people, but I really don’t need all those names. When I told her that I have the Social Security card to match what I wanted, get this- she told me to go back and GET A NEW CARD. Are you out of your damn mind? I have to change my name AGAIN?

Read more…

Now that the thank you cards are sent, the gifts opened, used and put away, and our new bed has arrived, all the fun wedding things are done, leaving me with all the menial tasks of name-changing.

I have just taken a large step: I made Mr. Kiwi my IRA beneficiary. When and if I pass away, all my money in my IRA will be given to him. This is crazy to me. I reminded myself to change my profile information to include my new name, and while I was there I noticed I could change who gets all my junk in the event I should pass on. Entering Mr. Kiwi’s name and birthdate was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. Oddly enough, it wouldn’t allow me to change my name on the website, though.

It’s funny which things change when you get married. What things have you anticipated, or are you anticipating? Did you have to be reminded like I did? It’s so weird how many things you need to change when you change your name.

So we are home… well our home until the first week of February when we fly out to start our 6 month trip.

There is exactly one month between our wedding day and the day that we fly out. This posed an interesting dilemma for my name. I just couldn’t see spending six months and not taking Mr. Robin’s name. It is really important to me for us to have the same name because we are one, we are a family. I know that people have many different feelings about this subject and I think all of them have valid points. But for me personally, it was a priority.

So instead of waiting six months… marathon name change session! We are due to leave for the honeymoon in the evening the Monday after the wedding, so I have several hours. I grab an expanding file with all identifying documents and papers and room for more. This will be a day that you collect paper.

Read more…

Now, I’ve blogged before about how I’m not changing my name - and this decision is one that Mr. Dahlia 100% completely supports.(What I have not blogged about extensively is that I actually do follow celebrity gossip).

I know that others have different opinions about name changing, but this, for me, is extreme. According to E! Online’s Marc Malkin, Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds have called it quits over her refusal to change her name.

Murphy and Edmonds in presumably happier times.
Read more…