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Mr. Bear Cub and I both have a deep appreciation for poetry. When we were getting to know each other three years ago, he chose to learn more about me by looking in my bookcase. I had recently acquired a book of love poems by Pablo Neruda. Amidst our tiny circle of friends in graduate school, Mr. Bear Cub was surprised to find another person who even knew of Neruda!
I’m sure many of you already know of this poet - his words are commonly found in wedding ceremonies these days - but for those who don’t, allow me to briefly introduce you to one of the most famous and beloved writers of Chile.
Pablo Neruda was born in 1904 in a small town a few hundred kilometers south of Santiago.
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After my mini-ceremony tantrum, Mr. Joey and I sat down and selected readings for our ceremony. We each picked one and agreed on the third. So, here are our picks.
My pick: Reading 1
Wherever you go, I shall go,
wherever you live, I shall live.
Your people will be my people,
and your God will be my God.
Where you die, I shall die and there I shall be buried.
Let Yahweh bring ills on me,
if anything but death should part me from you!
– Ruth 1:16-17
Mr. Joey’s pick: Reading 2
Strive for the greater gifts.
And I will show you a more excellent way.If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels,
but do not have love,
I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
I’ve been collecting ceremony readings for a while, and it’s about time to get our selections finalized! From what I know, most tropical, outdoor ceremonies go by pretty quickly, so I wanted to have several readings so that our ceremony isn’t over in the blink of an eye! I’ve picked a selection of both religious and non-religious passages that I think represent Mr. K and I as a couple. The only problem is that I’m not quite sure how many readings is TOO MANY. I’ve weeded some out and I think I’ll be able to incorporate the passages below without putting our guests to sleep.
Union by Robert Fulghum (Minister Reads)
You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks - all those sentences that began with “When we’re married” and continued with “I will and you will and we will”- those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe”- and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “ You know all those things we’ve promised and hoped and dreamed- well, I meant it all, every word.” Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this- is my husband, this- is my wife.
With less than three months to go until we get married, I’ve decided it’s time to start working on the part of the whole thing that I look forward to the most: the ceremony.
I was a bit uncomfortable about writing it; if I know every word, every passage, every sentiment, will I feel as engaged (no pun intended) during our ceremony?
But after much web surfing and some shower time (don’t you do your best thinking in the shower?), I’m very excited. I figure it’s much like live music: I may know every word and every note, but there’s just something special about hearing a song sung live.
So, as I get started (Wheeee! I’m excited!), I thought I’d share all of my ceremony links from Weddingbee. You can recreate my search by reading through every post tagged “ceremony” — or you can just use the list below.
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Featured on Weddingbee
All-Inclusion Invitation Suites
“Make an elegant invitation statement without the fuss. Stylish invitation sets with matching envelopes, reception and response cards included.”
…..was on TV on Thursday!
Check it out - I edited this to exactly his scene. Look for his handsome, hand-crafted afro-puff (courtesy of moi!). I’m so proud of him… I could just burst!
It’s fascinating how accomplishments for one of us, become pride-filled events for both of us. It reminds me that relationships (and especially marriage) are a melding of much more than hearts, homes, families and material belongings. They are a merging of the spirit, of identity, of intention, and soul. When he succeeds, I succeed. When I am raised up by joy, he feels it just as strongly. Or in times of disappointment, we share the burden equally.
We brave forth into the world for common goals, and even if we shared little interest in each other’s passions - we’d still be equally invested in their outcomes together. It somehow goes beyond teamwork, in my mind. Actually, there are times I find myself more inclined to help him than myself, and I’ve seen the same in him. The selflessness that love inspires… it’s just plain fabulous.
It reminds me of two things:
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I’m a words girl. These words are some of my favorites.
When I talk about “my people”, this is the context I’m referring to. I can’t think of a more concise description of what marriage is.
Ruth 1:16 -
Entreat me not to leave you, or to return from following after you, For where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. And where you die, I will die and there I will be buried. May the Lord do with me and more if anything but death parts you from me.
This is my definition of intimacy:
George Eliot -
Oh, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away.
And this one? This one is the goal, the reminder that you are to be each other’s shelter and support:
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Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
I had been searching for meaningful readings that were a little different from your average wedding poem or religious passage. Something that would be thoughtful and sweet, but wouldn’t make my 76-year-old grandmother scratch her head in confusion. This was easier said than done.
I’d considered E. E. Cummings poems, a selection from The Velveteen Rabbit, religious readings and more! But I had come up empty-handed. Nothing seemed… right.
That is, of course, until I stumbled upon Robert Fulghum’s poem, Union. Check it.
You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.
We asked my godparents if they would do the reading, and they were honored to participate. We then set off on the lengthy and emotional task of choosing a wedding reading.
Jim Forneris Photography
Because we didn’t do a whole lot of posed, formal portraits with our friends and family, shots of moments like this one are so special to us. Why do I love this photo by Kelli Nicole?
1. It reminds me that it is wonderful to have shots of people other then the bride and groom at the wedding. Make sure and note to your photographer if there are specific people in your life that you would like to have captured!
2. The couple pictured (L and J) are some of our closest friends here in Dallas, and with any luck their wedding will be the next one we attend.
3. I didn’t just plan this wedding for us, I planned it for our guests. Don’t they look like they are enjoying themselves?
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With time starting to crunch, I have decided, no, am being forced into delegating wedding tasks. One such delegation was asking my MOH to find non-cheesy ceremony readings.
She is just beginning her Phd work in English this fall, so I thought who better to complete said task than her. But seriously, the non-cheese part of the ceremony reading quest was compulsory! Even though I heart Shakespeare’s Sonnet 130, “Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments…” it didn’t pass the cheese test!
Any Jane Austin fans? Remember when Willoughby reads Sonnet 130 to Marianne in “Sense and Sensibility?” Romantic, but totally cheesy!
Read more…
Weddingbee readers, you deserve something, too, but I’m afraid this one’s for those kind souls who’ve agreed to take center stage at our wedding ceremony and read something entirely sappy in front of everyone. (Mr. Petunia’s sister is one of them, and poor soul, she’s already terrified). Sadly, I’m a bit uncreative and too literal, so when the time came to choose gifts for the readers, only something reading related could come to mind.
Mr. Violet and I had a small after party after the wedding. It turns out that there was a bit of guy/girl drama going on that day between different couples. I won’t get into the specifics but I was really surprised and a bit turned off to learn that it was happening on our big day. One of my GMs said that it just goes to show how hard relationships are. He considers us a role model couple because we made it work. It was really sweet when he said that to me because I never thought of us as a perfect couple of any sort. We fight and argue just like anyone else. In fact, there were points in our lives where we almost gave up. Of course, we didn’t because we both had enough faith in each other and truly loved one another. And here we are, united at last.
So, ladies and gents, for those of you that want to know the key to love, what is it? This is my answer; our reading at our ceremony, recited by our BM Sharrie.
Hi everyone! I’m so, sooo happy to be the newest member of the Weddingbee team! I was first introduced to this site when my FSIL became a Weddingbee blogger last year. Yes, that’s right - Mrs. Poppy (she was married just two weeks ago and her wedding was beeewooootiful) is married to my fiance’s brother! Since then, I would read Weddingbee intermittently, and when I got engaged Weddingbee quickly became one of my favorite websites.
A little background on me and Mr. Peony: we attended the same university and the very first time we met was my freshman year (he was a senior) at a party. He hit on me, and I ran away. 
Of course, he claims that he doesn’t remember this at all, but I remember as clearly as it was yesterday. Fast forward a few years: we started hanging out together because our friends ran in similar circles. He soon became one of my best friends, and several months later, he made the first move. Three and a half years later, he asked for my hand in marriage.
It has been a ridiculously great year for Mr. Corn and I; everything from his promotion, to my job change, to his brother getting married, our buying our first house, getting engaged, etc. Yet we remain aware that these things come in waves. We certainly aren’t trying to be pessimistic about how great everything has been, but we are trying to keep our feet grounded in the reality that there are many more great times as well as hard times ahead.
This has only been magnified by recent events in my family. What has been going on is cruel and excruciatingly personal and will directly affect many of the people who will attend our wedding. But you have to go on. The world isn’t going to iron itself out into perfection because of our wedding day. We just have to celebrate it as the joyful occasion it is and try and keep our focus on that.
Below is the reading that Mr. Corn and I have selected to be read at the ceremony. It is different from anything I have ever heard at a wedding before; I think because it not only explores the concept that marriage is so much more than the one time joy of a wedding, but because it expresses a truth of what can be expected, rather than the naïve hope of what can never truly be attained.
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