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I’m super excited about this pre-wedding party because there is no pressure. It’ll just be a fun opportunity to hang out with some of our favourite people at our house. We’ll probably serve BBQ, beer, and cupcakes. Mmmm. I’m digging the contrast between our informal “rehearsal” dinner and our more formal wedding reception. I also like the cost saving properties of this plan. Plus it’ll be a nice opportunity for everyone to meet each other before the wedding.This seems like a good (random) opportunity to introduce you to the Gingerbread kids

Hannah is the queen of the house.

Abby and Henry are angels when they’re sleeping.

Okay, back to weddings… Is anyone else doing something super laid back for their rehearsal dinner or wedding?
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Before I go on a rant, please let me point out that I love our families. Mr. Tiramisu and I are really blessed to have, all combined, 2 moms, 2 dads, a stepmom, a stepdad, three brothers and four sisters that love us dearly and want to be involved in our wedding. And let me just take the blame right now- I admit I’m a control freak- and no where does it come out more than with planning our wedding. I tend to have a hard time considering any ideas that don’t come from my own little head (or at least stolen by me from someone else!). I have a picture in my head of every aspect of the wedding- from the save-the-dates all the way up until the good night snack. Have a great idea? If it’s not how I pictured it, it’s probably not going to happen (Miss Tiramisu horns sprout!) - or at least that’s how it was in the beginning.

Mr. Tiramisu’s mom has been nothing but excited about the wedding from the moment we got engaged. He’s the first child of five- and first grandchild of eleven- to get married, so actually there is much excitement all around. One of the first sticky issues to arise in the planning process was the rehearsal dinner. Miss Tiramisu’s brain said: “small casual gathering of families and bridal party! relax before the wedding! no pressure! maybe pizza? beer? on the beach? show up in shorts! it will be great!” FMIL Tiramisu’s brain said: “huge welcome party! invite everyone! lobster for all! bring on the champagne! fancy boat cruise? historic mansion? it will be great!”

I gave it some more thought, revisited the whole idea, and gave up a little ground. I had pictured maybe 25 people, but I was conceding to 40. Okay 50. But FMIL Tiramisu wanted to show everyone invited to the wedding a good time. We’re talking 240! In my mind this was a nightmare! No relaxing the night before the wedding! A logistical panic attack waiting to happen!

I couldn’t let go of my carefully conjured mental image long enough to consider the benefits of FMIL-T’s idea. It was Mr. Tiramisu who encouraged me to take a deep breath. We shelved the issue and I tried not to think about it for at least a month. At some point during that time I started to realize that (gasp!) a big welcome party might not be such a bad idea. After all, if Mr. Tiramisu’s parents wanted to pay for such an event, and if it really meant that much to them, why did I want to stand in their way? When else in my life was someone going to offer me a huge party, in my (and my groom’s of course) honor?

Now we’ve got a great party in the works- for an invited 240 guests, and we found a laid back place at which to host it. It’s in a barn - how casual and fun can you get? I can’t lie- if it were up to me I’d probably still be having the small gathering, but the moral of this story is that even the stubbornest of brides and FMILs can compromise.

Have you had to give up anything important (or even not-so important) to you in planning your wedding, or are you standing your ground? All I know is that everyone’s really excited about our rehearsal dinner turned lobster-bake-welcome-dinner, so I should be too!
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Alison’s hourly rate (which she charged to my mom instead of her wedding rate, being that we only needed her for a few hours with none of the standard “getting ready” or posed family shots… brownie points right there) was quite reasonable, and I began to consider if it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to hire her to capture some moments of our rehearsal dinner. Our wedding photographers, The Wiebners, will most definitely capture a slew of tender moments and fun candids on our wedding day, but wouldn’t it be nice to have some professional photos of the rehearsal dinner that Mr. Cupcake’s parents are so generously hosting for us? Wouldn’t this be the perfect opportunity to get more photos of our family and bridal party in a more casual setting?

Perhaps this is one of those unnecessary things that we brides start to think we “have” to have while under the influence of a wedding-induced haze. Or perhaps it’s really not such a bad idea. So, hive, here is where I plead for your input: have I gone off my rocker? Or do you think this would be a nice extra that will help us preserve our memories for years to come? Has anyone else out there hired a photographer for their rehearsal dinner?
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According to the website:

In 1794 when the Lancaster turnpike was built, it was one of the marvels of the century. Almost the sole avenue of transport between Philadelphia and the west, it was soon peopled with stage coaches, wagons and drivers. To meet the needs of these travelers, public houses sprang up every few miles and among the earliest of these was the Ship Inn. The modern “Ship”, which serves today’s wayfarer with food and a “cup of cheer” is in the original building built by John Bowen in 1796. For this building he petitioned to the Chester County Court in that year “for license to keep a public house of entertainment.” The 1963 rear addition houses the “Lighthouse Grill.” The ship Inn was totally remodeled in 2000 as seafood and steaks.

Yes, I think a 212 year old Inn meets our requirements!

There are several different formal dining rooms in The Ship Inn, each with an open fireplace and unique decor true to its history. The Lighthouse Grill is the addition mentioned above where our dinner would be, as it will fit 50 people comfortably and that’s what our guest list is looking like right now. Here are photos of the room from the website:

Not the greatest shot, but you can see that it is an open floorplan with lots of windows!

Behind the sign you can see the outside of the Lighthouse Grill, with a cute patio right outside.

We tested out the food last weekend with Mr. Cupcake’s parents, and everything was delicious (not to mention the sublime desserts…. I suggested that we skip dinner altogether and just have a Rehearsal Dessert, but this idea was overruled ) The service was professional and friendly with all of the servers dressed in a shirt and tie, and it was clear to us that they hold a very high standard of service so this is not something we would have to worry about. Basically, we were all sold and decided to look no further!

Our guests will be able to choose from a soup or salad, one of three entrees, and one of two desserts (*sigh…* we really have to narrow it down to two???). I’m really excited about another thing checked off the list, and I think The Ship Inn is exactly what we were looking for. I like that it’s different from the rest of our wedding, and I’m already envisioning some cute nautical-themed invitations

Here are a few more photos I took while we were there (all exterior):

Did you have an easy time finding your rehearsal dinner location, or was your decision made quickly after testing out only one place, like us?
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I don’t have a clue about Chinese traditions, and Mr. Milkshake always plays dumb about it. This led to me asking several Asian friends what exactly happens at a Chinese wedding - except this asking took place in college and so their immediate response was - you guys are getting married? And at the time, we weren’t, so it was a little embarassing. But now the wonders of the internet have made things clear! The following exerpt is from chinabridal.com:

Certain types of food are commonly served at the Chinese wedding banquet, which include fish, roast suckling pig, pigeon, chicken cooked with red oil, lobster and desert bun with lotus seeds stuffed inside. The pronunciation of fish is the same as “abundance”, meaning the newlyweds will have plentiful of wealth. Roast suckling pig is usually served whole, a symbol of the bride’s purity (virginity). Pigeon implies peaceful future. Chicken also means phoenix, cooked in red oil to symbolize the wish for a prosperous life ahead for the newlyweds. Lobster is literally called “dragon shrimp” in Chinese. Having lobster and chicken together at wedding banquet indicates that the dragon and the phoenix are hormones together, and the Yin and Yang elements in this family is balanced.

I was happy to find out that his mom wants to have a dinner that supports sustainability, ie no shark fin soup and no king crab. Which to a person like me, who was not exposed to ethnic foods of any sort growing up and knew nothing of Chinese food but chow mein and sweet and sour pork (hence my own personal dimsum dish, above), is fantastic! This attitude probably stemmed from her volunteer work at the Vancouver Aquarium, and it was cute to see her start her very own blog. I ended up illustrating a couple of her posts which were evidence of her nervousness at first.

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I know that a lot of people really love it, but personally, I think that the draping on the walls matched with the red furniture is just a bit much. However, I had never seen the grand ballroom, and I was pleasantly surprised:

Not only is it downstairs, which is where the restrooms are located, but it has a private entrance. Score!

From what I understand, Mr. Magnolia and his mom both ran into a couple of communication issues with the staff, but overall we were very pleased with the event. The food was fantastic, the service was great, and the room looked beautiful. Truly, we did very little to it, but everyone was raving about how lovely and elegant everything was.

It was a laid back dinner, with the first thirty minutes devoted to cocktail hour, and then a three course meal with a ceasar salad, filet/chicken combo main course, and pumpkin cheesecake dessert. My father-in-law gave a lovely toast, thanking Mr. Magnolia for being a wonderful son and brother, and wishing us both the best. Seriously, y’all - a wedding weekend is just a big love-fest!

Anyway, since we were opting for all-white linens, my mother-in-law decided to go with all-white flowers… and they were absolutely beautiful! This is Brother Magnolia, peeking out from behind a gorgeous (though cut off) centerpiece of white hydrangeas, roses, and lilies.

Most of the pictures I have are people-centric. My aunt snagged a camera and went to town, taking pictures of just about everyone there… except Mr. Magnolia!

This is me with my cousin. She did a reading at the wedding the next night.

…and, because they’re just too cute, my great aunt and uncle. Of all of the guests we had come to the wedding, I think these two were the happiest to be there!

One last picture, just because it cracks me up. This is my Matron of Honor with her husband, who is hilarious and maybe a little ridiculous. Oh - and she had just consumed three pieces of pumpkin cheesecake.

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Red wine. Spicy pepperoni pizza. My favorite jeans. All our friends.

This is the last time I will see Mr. Robin until we are all suited up and ready. I want to relax. I want to chat. I want to not think about the details. I got the idea from my sister, who just wanted margaritas and Mexican food for her rehearsal dinner, but she didn’t get it - she graciously gave way to family demands for a very fancy, formal rehearsal dinner. But I have been saving her idea for about seven years now. And I am determined to get my way, so I’ve rented out Portland’s most haunted building, Old Town Pizza. They have a large upstairs room which can accommodate the wedding party and out-of-town travelers, so that we can all eat some amazing pizza and just be together.

What type of rehearsal dinner are you planning?

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