Weddingbee Blog

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What’s the biggest lesson your SO has taught you? What’s the biggest lesson you’ve taught your SO?

Mrs. Mouse - The Dude has taught me that sometimes it’s not worth it to get mad over the little things. He is very laid back and generally believes that things “always work out in the end”. Call it karmic synergy, call it lazy—either way it’s a peaceful way to live. He’s also taught me to appreciate football and different styles of music (like blues and indie rock) that I didn’t pay as much attention to before I met him.

I’ve taught him the importance of eating healthy and getting exercise. I’ve also helped him to branch out and try things that he didn’t think he liked, such as traveling and eating sushi. I’ve tried to instill in him a great respect and love for Beyonce, but I’m not sure it’s worked yet.
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What are your favorite things to do together/hobbies you both enjoy together?

Mrs. Bunny - We’re both reporters, so we talk about work a lot, but that’s not really a hobby. Together, we enjoy watching movies and, um… playing Magic: The Gathering.

Now, don’t judge my geekiness before you hear me out. Mr. Bunny has been playing since the fifth grade, but was on a break from it when we got together. Then he and an old friend moved in together and each rekindled the other’s interest in the game … and they talked me into learning how to play.

I only play with him every once in a while because I like to use my spending money on other things, but it’s nice that we have a hobby that we both enjoy and can do together on the occasional Friday night.

We’ll also go out to karaoke every once in awhile. We both LOVE to sing!
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Are you a night owl or morning person? What about your SO? How does this affect your relationship?

Miss French Fries - I’m more of a morning person and Mr. FF is more of a night owl. It really only affects us when we’re out on a Saturday night and I’m yawning at the table while everyone else is living it up!

Mrs. Beagle - Mr. Beagle has pretty much the same temperament all the time. I’m not much of a people person in the morning and I can also get pretty cranky if I’m up too late at night—it all depends on my energy level, which varies. Mr. Beagle balances me out in this respect. He’s very understanding if we need to call it an early night because I’m too tired, and he gives me space in the morning until I’m ready to socialize.
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What is your/your SO’s stance on pets (are you in agreeance on the kind, and how many, or does the subject make you fight ‘like cats and dogs’)?

Miss French Fries - When Mr. FF and I got together, I liked dogs, but he wasn’t a huge fan of cats because of allergies. He had a dog that I met on our 2nd date, and I loved him! I had a cat that he met pretty early on, and has genuinely grown to love (he holds her all the time and loves when she licks his nose!) and he’s built up some sort of weird allergy immunity towards her so that he doesn’t sneeze constantly when she’s around. It worked out really well!

When we moved in together, we weren’t sure how the dog and cat would get along, but it worked out great. They got along just fine… so fine, in fact, that we decided to get another dog! Our house is somewhat of a zoo, but we wouldn’t have it any other way.

I grew up a huge animal lover, so I’m not sure I could marry someone that wasn’t a fan of pets. I’ve even made Mr. FF promise to move us somewhere warm when we retire so that we can open a shelter for cats & dogs.

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Who in the relationship is frugal and who is spendy? How does it affect your relationship?

Mrs. Deviled Egg - I am the more frugal one in the relationship. Not that Mr. DE is a big spender, but I am the one more likely to purchase the lesser-priced version of stuff we buy often. And, I am the coupon queen, so I cringe when he buys stuff like toothpaste and deodorant without using one. (You can totally get that stuff super cheap or FREE by combining coupons and sales! I stock up when I can.) I’m usually OK with checking out consignment shops for clothing and accessories, but he’s more likely to head to the department store for his wardrobe. Of course, I always make sure to bring along any necessary coupons! Overall, I’m glad that both of us have a good understanding of where we stand financially and are able to evaluate purchases without going overboard or piling on any debt.
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How are you deciding where you spend the holidays? Was it a big issue between you and your FI? How did you come to a decision?

Mrs. Quiche - This is a HUGE deal for me. I do not like to spend Christmas anywhere (including our own home!) except at my mom’s house, which I have done every single year for the past 29 years. I am sure it is something I’ll have to get over at some point, especially with kids, but I still can’t fathom it. We don’t tend to go to Ohio for Easter or Thanksgiving, only occasionally (like this year - YAY!).

All of his family is here in Chicago & we can see them anytime. This is not the case with my family, so it makes sense to spend the big holidays with my family, right? Right??

This Christmas will be the first test. We still haven’t decided what to do.
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Who brings home the bacon in your relationship? If you make more money than your FI, is it a touchy subject in your relationship, or does he like having a sugar mama?

Mrs. Stiletto - He used to make significantly more than I do (he was a mechanical engineer, I work for a non-profit), but when he was laid off in April of this year, the tables turned! He has launched his wedding photography business and while he’s doing very well, it definitely will take a little while before he will turn a profit! These changes have made us more conscious of what we spend our money on and what our priorities are… and it has also made us learn (slowly!) that it’s not his money or my money, it’s our money and we make those decisions together, no matter who is making more.

Mrs. Gloss - He brings home two times as much bacon as I do. I’m pretty sure he’d be fine with it if I made more money, possibly in fact, welcome it - but that will never happen.
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How do your birth orders affect your relationship? Do you tend to date people of a specific birth order?

Mrs. Hydrangea - Our birth order totally affects us. Mr. H is the middle child and I’m the baby (by FAR, my brothers are 15 and 17 years older then me).

While he’s the middle child, Mr. H took on the more of the eldest child’s role as the family caretaker from a young age. Since his parents sometimes have difficulties with translation, he usually goes with them to the bank, doctor, etc. when it’s something super important. He has always held a good job and done the responsible thing which, at times, held him back from really experiencing life.

I, on the other hand, was just the opposite. My parents helped me with a lot and, if I am in need of advice, I turn to them first. Always. This has been hard for Mr. H as he is not used to relying on his parents for any kind of support, except emotional. I am also spoiled (surprise!) and it’s hard for me to hear “no” sometimes when I’ve pretty much always gotten my way.

All in all, Mr. H has been pretty patient with me, and I’ve learned to adjust to splitting up more of my time when he is helping his family. Again, it’s a balancing act that we are figuring out along the way.
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Is your SO’s profession in line with what you thought his/her profession would be?

Mrs. Dorsay - Hmm, hard to say. I never thought, ‘I want to be with a lawyer or a doctor or a web designer.’ I always hoped that my future spouse would be in a creative field and I’m very happy that Mr. D is. Between the two of us, our house will always be filled with ideas and interesting projects!

Mrs. Tulip - DC has the country’s highest number of lawyers per capita — most of the people I know are lawyers, and most of the people THEY know are lawyers. So it’s not terribly surprising that Mr T and I share law as a profession.

While any couple can appreciate each other’s talents, there’s a layer of added understanding when you’re in the same field. It’s nice to have an editor and professional sounding board on hand 24/7. And luckily our strengths are diverse — I’m a better writer and he’s a better businessman — so we both respect each other as the more talented partner. (Though he never lets me forget that I scored higher on the LSAT, ha ha.)
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10 years from now, I hope that we are ________

Mrs. Bear Cub - Mr Bear Cub actually wrote a poem/letter to me after 5 months of dating that described how he saw our lives in 10 years. It’s a little long, so I’ll only give a shortened version:

I cant imagine a happier thought
than holding you close to me
in the setting sun of a hazy alpine peak ten years from today
reflecting on the path our lives have taken
Ten years of getting to know each other
Ten years of finding out that you are even more amazing than I could have imagined
Ten years of waking up in your arms
Ten years of holding you in mine
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Ten years of striving each day to let you know how much you mean to me
But a million years worth of love having passed between us

He read parts of it to me on our wedding day, and it was one of the most emotional moments of the day.

In 10 years, I hope to revisit our wedding venue, Camp Westwind, with our children and savor all the joys life has brought us.
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What TV shows do you have in common? What TV shows of each others’ can’t you stand?

Mrs. Cupcake - Together we’re both hooked on Mad Men, 30 Rock, The Office, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Entourage, and Glee. Our DVR is pretty jam-packed.

Shows I can only watch when Mr. C is not around to make snide comments: So You Think You Can Dance (I’m obsessed, in case you didn’t know), The Hills, The City, Project Runway, Oprah, Lost, Sex and the City (whenever I can catch reruns), and Access Hollywood. He pretty much can’t stand reality shows, but as you can see, I have quite a few in my repertoire. He also loathes Access Hollywood (or Extra… they’re kind of one and the same) but if I have had a bad day, he’ll let me watch in silence without making any comments (which I know is slightly killing him inside. He’s so good to me).

He watches a lot of ice hockey, which I can tolerate for about 12 seconds before I start whining, so he usually watches that in the bedroom while I take over the living room. Did you know that hockey pretty much lasts all year long? Lucky me.
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Who pursued whom (or was it a mutual attraction)?

Mrs. Sea Breeze - We met on a three week work trip where I was his client. While the sparks were undeniable, he was struggling to not cross any professional lines so it was me who finally had to say, “So… are you gonna kiss me or what?” Now he likes to boast about his exceptionally good “client relations” skills. Indeed!

Mrs. Bee - He knew he wanted to marry me after our first date, while it took a little longer for reality to set in for me. But it was a whirlwind, crazy fast, mutual attraction!
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Was your SO your first real love? Do you benefit from being in love before (or having never been in love with anyone before)?

Mrs. Mouse - My husband was not my first love. I was in love once before, but the relationship was all kinds of wrong. Looking back, it’s nice to know that even though I loved my ex, the Dude is so much more right for me in every possible way. I don’t have any regrets.

Mrs. French Bulldog - Mr Frenchie was the first boyfriend I ever said “I love you” to. I’d thought I was in love before but never exchanged “I love you”s. When I met Mr Frenchie I knew I’d been wrong about the others—he was the one. I’m glad I dated other guys, that way when I met Mr Frenchie I knew what love really was/is.
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Are you an optimist or pessimist? What about your SO? How does this affect your relationship?

Mrs. Gloss - Always half full for me. He’s a total pessimist - I think we balance each other out. He reminds me I shouldn’t trust everyone, and I remind him it’s okay to trust someone.

Miss Moonbeam - I think we both have our cycles of ups and downs, but Mr. Moonbeam is very much a believer in making your own destiny, so maybe he’s the slightly more positive thinker of the two. I have always believed that things will find their way to being OK, but I get kinda bummed sometimes if it’s taking a while.
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I always thought I’d date someone for ____ months/years before we’d get engaged. In reality, we dated ____ months/years.

Mrs. Bear Cub - My relationship before Mr BC lasted almost 4 years. My parents got married 4 months after meeting each other, so I’d always thought that a long courtship was more practical. I had expected to date Mr. BC for 3.5 to 5 years before marriage became an option, but after 1.5 years we had to decide about moving to another country together! We realized then - after 1.5 years - that, duh, we were going to get married, and why not do it right now? We’d been “courting” for a little over 3 years by the time we got married.
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