Weddingbee Blog

Be sure to check out all the posts in our Relationship Series here!

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Were you actively looking for a relationship when you met your SO? Was he/she looking?

Mrs. Bunny - I was NOT looking for a relationship when I suddenly fell madly in love with Mr. Bunny. I’d just gotten my heart broken for the second time (by the same guy… don’t date your exes!), and I don’t really know what came over me! He, on the other hand, had been lonely for quite sometime and was ready for love. He and his mother had recently had a conversation about his love life (which is very unusual, I might add), and she told him she would pray that he would find the right girl. He says he knew I was the one his mother prayed for him to find!

Miss Star - I had been looking for a while and feeling like there was nothing worthwhile out there. I was super lonely, but definitely didn’t feel ready for anything intense and emotionally serious. In fact, that was one of the reasons I was scared to date Mr. Star at first — because I knew that if we got together, that it would be so serious! I wasn’t sure I wanted that at the moment, but finally got over it, and now look where we are!

Miss Ramen - It’s true what they say - it always happens when you least expect it!!!

I had decided to FINALLY be content with my single self, and BAM! Mr. Ramen and I just started hanging out! I don’t think he would say he was actively looking, but I think his eyes were wide open, haha.

Mrs. Deviled Egg - I wasn’t really looking when we met. I was focused on my job, my family and my hobbies at the time and figured I would maybe one day meet someone. At the time Mr. DE and I met, I hadn’t dated anyone in three years. I think he was looking a little bit. (He did ask me out, after all!) Regardless, I think both of us were in a place where we were in the mindset of “if it happens, it happens” with no pressure or desperation.

Mrs. Cupcake - Here’s something I’ve never told the hive: I was actually dating someone else when I met Mr. Cupcake! Oops!

It wasn’t serious — we had gone out a few times and hadn’t had any talks about being exclusive or anything — but I certainly wasn’t looking to meet anyone new when Mr. C came along. I knew very few people at the Halloween party where we met, so I was simply trying to be social and meet new people. Little did I know that my friendly banter with the guy I met in line for the bathroom would lead to marriage! (I broke things off with the other guy 4 days after I met Mr. C, when he called to “officially” ask me out on our first date; I told myself that even if things didn’t work out between us, I knew he was much more my type than the other guy and I didn’t want to string anyone else along.)

Miss Frozen Yogurt - I was definitely not looking to date anyone when I met Mr. Fro Yo. I had just gotten out of a terrible relationship and was on the mend. In fact, I didn’t even want to go out the night we met, but a friend of mine encouraged me to go out and be sociable. I managed to throw on some jeans and a t-shirt and head out. Thankfully I did! When we met, he was definitely ready to date, though I don’t think he ever considered meeting his future wife in a bar. It did take me a little while to make us “official”, but I knew I liked him from the first night.

Miss Lamb - I was an emotional hot mess when Lammaroo and I started to date. We were friends for two years previously, and when I returned from my semester abroad, I was heartbroken over another boy. Lambers was definitely not looking for a girlfriend. Even though we went on a few dates before he graduated, he was headed off to Navy OCS and a girlfriend was the last thing he wanted. I stayed in touch with him, writing about twice a week. When he came back for homecoming that year, we became official. Looking back over some journals I wrote during the time we were dating, I didn’t know he was “the one” until about a year and a half after we started dating!

Mrs. Bear Cub - I was actively NOT looking for a relationship when I first met Mr. BC. In fact, our mutual friend started hitting on me, and I flat out told him I wasn’t interested in dating anyone at that time (I was fresh out of a bad breakup).

Then Mr. BC was sweet and endearing and friendly, and he cracked my hermit shell! Within a month of meeting him, he had charmed me into being his girlfriend.

Mrs. Gloss - Ha. Um, yeah I guess we were ‘looking for a relationships’ in all that high school dating relationships entails – i.e. phone calls, holding hands and eating lunch together. Did I think I would find the love of my life at age 15? Not even a little bit.

Mrs. Yorkie - When my relationship with Mr. Y blossomed, I wasn’t really looking for love. Seven months before, I’d finally extricated myself from the last of two back-to-back, dead-end relationships that I knew had no future, but stayed in them anyway for the better (or worse) part of four years.

By then, I’d spent so long identifying myself as half of a whole, that I was no longer sure of who I was as an individual. So I dedicated my new found time to finding out who I was, what I liked and learning to feel “complete” in myself. I traveled to Thailand to visit my sister, started teaching the little ones at church, and even got the crazy idea to train for a marathon. It was at that point, when I was finally comfortable with myself as a single person (and dripping with sweat), that love came running up to me… and I was finally ready for it.

Mrs. Peep Toe - I was a very happy single girl, but after 3 years without a boyfriend, I purposely moved from Santa Barbara (which had next to no dating prospects) to San Francisco to meet someone (and get a job, of course). I even told a friend that I was ready to meet the one. Lo and behold, within 6 months of moving to the city—and going to a ton of events to meet people—I found myself dating Mr. Peeps. About two months in, we both decided to give our relationship 100%—to truly see if this was it. So, I have to guess that Mr. Peep was ready to meet me, too.

Mrs. Joey - NO! I met him when I was home for the summer before grad school and would be moving to Manchester, England. We “hooked up” during Christmas break when we were both home. I think neither of us planned on a Manchester-Brooklyn long distance relationship, but some things are out of your control.

Mrs. Duckling - I wasn’t looking or expecting to find someone when Mr. Ducky and I started dating. I had just gotten back from studying in London for the year and during that time I avoided dating as I wanted to concentrate on personal growth and my experience there. The summer after London I was home in San Diego and had the “single lady” summer, as our group of friends was all single at the same time, which hadn’t happened before. Going back to college that year I was not looking, but then I reconnected with Mr. Ducky at a party. We started dating a few weeks later.

Mrs. Mascara - I had just gotten out of a relationship and was not interested in dating anyone when Mr. M and I started dating. He was a good friend of mine and was helping me to get over the breakup when we suddenly realized we had feelings for each other. It was not the ideal time to get together since he was leaving for college in a few months, but I suppose it all worked out in the end!

Mrs. French Bulldog - If I said I wasn’t looking for a relationship, I’d be lying - HELLO, I found (or he found me, rather) on Match.com. However, I wasn’t out looking for the man I was going to marry. I just thought I’d date some different guys (you know, guys different from the losers I’d dated before) and go to school. I really didn’t think I would get married until after I graduated and was totally fine with that. After dating Mr Frenchie for a couple weeks I knew I’d marry him and I cancelled my Match.com subscription. We got married a month ago and I still have a year left in school

Mrs. Peony - My relationship with Mr. Peony was the first relationship I entered without any expectations for the future. I had been badly hurt in the past, and I just figured that I would have fun and not think about where this relationship was heading.

Mr. Peony was not looking for love either - we made it clear at the start of the relationship that we would keep it casual… but it kept going and going and look where we are now!

Mrs. Potato Chips - I was not looking! I was 22, up in da clubs, and having a good time! We had the worst possible timing when we first got together—he immediately was deployed to North Carolina and then Japan. Somehow we thought sticking it out would be a good idea. And it was!

Miss Dachshund - I was in a “redefining” point in my life just prior to starting my relationship with Mr. Dachshund. I had just made the (long overdue) decision to move back to my hometown from Los Angeles, had finally worked up the courage to tell my parents that I hadn’t been going to school for a year and was working on getting my life back in order. Obviously playing World of Warcraft was the best way to do that!

Really though, I had just moved into my house and I would play WoW occasionally to pass the time at night as I searched for a job during the day. As much as I may complain about my job now, not working is boring!

I absolutely was not looking for a relationship at the time. I knew that I still needed a lot of work; I needed to invest time in myself before I would be able to be in a successful relationship.

When I met Mr. Dachshund, I was definitely interested, but I had no idea how we’d make it work. I was scared that the long distance would end badly, and I knew I wasn’t at a point to be able to handle that well. Against my better judgment, we gave it a shot. Needless to say I’m pretty glad we did.

Mrs. Penguin - I was on the prowl… RAWRRRRR! It’s a bit comical how I pursued Mr. Pengy. It was a calculated attack… I needed lots of things… a fake ID, a car (for which I had to get TWO jobs to pay for!!!), I was on a full-blown manhunt once I met him. I just KNEW he was the man for me. He fit my ideal—everything, really. Mind you, these were all superficial things—he was from the same socioeconomic class as me, liked to eat all kinds of foods like me, was really well liked by everyone, was polite and Midwestern… I was ALL OVER THAT! Obviously we eventually connected on a deeper level, but man, during those first few months that I met him, I made sure to be in all the right places and all the right bars at all the right times. I knew when his favorite sports teams would be playing and knew when and where he’d be watching them.

I know, I know. You’re hearing The Police in your head right now. I swear, I am a good wife, so it worked out, okay?

Miss Cloud - When we met, neither of us were looking. He had gotten out of a relationship almost a year before but wasn’t interested in anything serious, and I had pretty much written off guys all together at that point. When we did start dating it was hard because we were long distance and I think we were both still not 100% sure if we were ready to take on such a big obstacle. We tried to take it slow and keep things casual but it just wasn’t happening. Instead we both ended up with ridiculous cell phone bills… oh, and we found the loves of our lives!

Mrs. Crab Cake - I wouldn’t say I was looking for a relationship. I was casually dating a couple of guys when I met Mr. CC. I’d just moved to town and felt like tying myself to one person would be a really bad plan. I wanted to develop a social circle here. Turns out, the guys I was dating were total asses and Mr. CC came with the social circle I was craving!

Miss Beagle - I was not looking for love when I met Mr. Beagle. Our relationship began with friendship & during part of that time I was involved in a really unhealthy relationship. When that relationship finally ended I was an emotional wreck and my self-esteem had really bottomed out. Mr. Beagle’s friendship helped me through some rough times and when I came out of it I realized what an amazing person he is and that we really meshed. Then we started dating.

Mrs. Cheese - Not really. I was more interested in getting my sister to shut up about how pathetic my life was and how I’d never meet anyone sitting at home with a bottle of wine and Tivo. I’d planned to have a beer to prove that I was willing, then go home to my bottle of wine and Tivo.

He was looking for someone different to date. He’d been dating girls in his circle of friends, girls he met at the gym, girls he knew from his regular life. He’d decided he was tired of it and wanted to meet someone different so he went someplace different.

He went to the bar where I was nursing my beer and texting my sister that I hated every minute of sitting there alone, and he sat next to me.

The wonder of a universe that places someone fully as quirky as me next to me at a random bar — neither of us being bar-hoppers except for that night — floors me. Being open to a new life and doing something just a little bit different to prove it paid off.

By the way, I met my best friend in much the same way. I took an invitation to go out to dinner with people I barely knew because I hated my lonely life. She sat next to me and we hit it off immediately. That was the week after I met my husband. June of 2008 was a great month.

Miss Rainbow - I wasn’t looking for a relationship, because I had just gotten out of a mess of an engagement, but I was looking to “rekindle” the friendship that Mr. R and I had years ago. Little did I know that the rekindling that I had hoped for would quickly catch fire and turn into something much bigger. Two weeks after we reunited, we started dating. Then a month after that we moved in together. It was fast, but ever since we met (as kids in 1998) there was always that “something”, so when we reunited, we just knew. It was perfect.

Miss French Fries - Literally the night that we met, I was talking with another one of my girlfriends about how neither of us could seem to find a “good guy”. She suggested that we start going to happy hours after work, when a lot of singles would likely be out and about. The thought of meeting my significant other at a bar wasn’t exactly appealing to me, so I shot her down right away.

Little did I know that sitting at a table right next to us was Mr. FF. A table right next to us… at a bar. He came over and we chatted, and I was smitten with him from the start. When my group wanted to leave, I persuaded one of my friends to go back with me just so I could talk to him some more.

So I guess you could say I was “sorta kinda” looking — but not expecting to find him!

Miss Poodle - When we met, we were both coming out of long relationships where we both got really hurt. Neither of us were seeking love when we met. Actually, at that point I was feeling so disappointed about men and my heart was starting to feel completely healed. I didn’t want to get in to another serious relationship. I was planning on staying single for as long as I could, But… those plans didn’t last long after I met Mr. Poodle. Opening my heart and taking chances again were some of the best decisions I’ve made (besides saying yes to his marriage proposal) and he feels the same way. So, love found us when we least expected it.

Mrs. Lovebird - Nope! We both had just finished our first semesters as freshmen and were still reeling from the excitement of college life when we met up with all of our Stuy (high school) friends during winter break. Mr. Lovebird has just finished pledging his fraternity at NYU and I had just spent four months at an all women’s college in PA. Needless to say, we were both having a blast and weren’t looking for serious relationships, let alone a long distance one. But during that winter break, we stayed up all night chatting with each other and the rest is history. To be honest, I’m not sure how it happened; we had known each other during high school but never saw each other in “that way”. None of our mutual friends thought it would last (I think they even took bets on how long it would take us to break up). Little did they know, seven and a half years later, they would be at our wedding.

Mrs. Eggplant - I was definitely not looking for love. I had just returned from a three-month missions trip and was in the process of reevaluating my life. Men were not on my itinerary. In fact, that’s the only reason I allowed myself to hang out with Mr. Eggplant; I was absolutely positive that he was not my type, so it was “safe” to hang out with him. Once I let my guard down, I realized we were pretty darn good together.

Ms. Sushi - Neither of us was looking for love of any kind at the time. I had just had a very bad relationship situation with someone that I not only knew forever but had an on again/off again relationship for YEARS (12-ish!). After that I had shunned guys off. Mr. Sushi was fairly new in the dating scene after separating from his baby’s mama. We met in a bar and casually dated for months. I would have laughed my arse off if you told me then that he would be the guy I was going to marry. It took a good year (and then some) to finally take our relationship seriously. Four years later we are better and stronger than ever.

Mrs. Sprinkle - I was not actively looking for anything! I had just moved to Los Angeles a month prior to our first date, and I really expected to just “play the field” for a long, long looooong time. I was so anti-dating at the time that I refused to answer Mr. Sprinkle’s phone calls for the first few weeks of our friendship, because I did not want it to grow into anything beyond friendship!

Mrs. Labrador - Um, heck no! Haha! I had just ended an on-and-off relationship of 4 years when I met Mr. Lab. We finally officially starting dating about 4 months after the “for good” break up with my ex. I thought it would be a couple weeks sort of thing since I felt like I needed to not date seriously after a long relationship. I even went so far as to tell my best friend that I was probably going to end up breaking Mr. Lab’s heart because he seemed way more serious about me than I was about him! I guess it’s true that true love comes around when you’re least expecting it!

Mrs. Mouse - Neither of us was looking for a relationship when we met, but ultimately we were both open to one. When I first met the Dude, I was at the end of my junior year of college, and I had big plans to teach English in Spain for a year after graduation and then go to law school in NYC. But we fell in love, and I stayed in Austin to be with him, something I never would have seen myself doing before I met him. Five years later, I know I made the right decision.

Mrs. Dewdrop - When Mr. DD and I first met in 2002, I was in long-term relationship and he was working crazy hours. Five years later, when Mr. DD sent me an out of the blue email, I was in a giving up on love sort of phase and Mr. DD had just gotten out of a long-term relationship. So neither of us was actively looking for a relationship. Curious about each other, yes. Open to a relationship, probably. But I would never have guessed at that time that Mr. DD and I would end up getting married. Sometimes it still surprises me!

Ms. Champagne - Heck no… we were sophomores in college and both wanted a little college booty. I had been in a relationship my freshman year and wanted for my sophomore year to be about “the college experience”. Well instead of spending it with just my girls, Champ and I got to experience the college years together!

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What about you? Were you seeking love when you met your SO?

Be sure to check out all the posts in our Relationship Series here!

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Do you and your SO have the same life goals? How do you reconcile your differences?

Mrs. Cheese - Our life goals are very similar: kids, financial stability, engaging careers that don’t take over our lives. He’s much more tied to where we live than I am; I always assumed I’d move cities a lot. He wants to have a paid-for house and our very own vacation island; I want us to travel (and move to other cities). Our goals are all compatible. The scary part, for me, is that being with this man changed my future. My career is less fulfilling as long as I work from home, but I’m not willing to travel heavily anymore and he’s not ready to move to another city… and to be honest, neither am I. I’m feeling very settled, and while I appreciate the feeling of stability, it makes me wonder what that means for my career. But I’ve had the kind of job that took over my life and brain and although I loved it, I could not manage my personal life successfully. I’ll take this, thankyouverymuch.
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Be sure to check out all the posts in our Relationship Series here!

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What strange things do you and your FI/husband have in common?

Mrs. Mary Jane - What a fun question! Mr. Mary Jane and I are a little quirky in a lot of ways. For example, we both love that ‘nasty’ fake butter they put on popcorn at the movies, to the point that we’ll go in to the theater and order the popcorn with “lots of super extra tons of butter”, and then bring it home and eat it as our supper. We both hate eggs almost as much as we hate mustard, and have a shared favorite Chinese restaurant — a hole-in-the-wall in the middle of nowhere, better than anywhere we’ve been in the country. Funny how all of the quirks I’m listing involve food. We like food, I guess!! We also grew up near the same very small town, yet somehow didn’t know each other (though one of my best friends was his childhood neighbor!) and met in a much larger city and purely coincidental situation. Because of our practically identical primary educations, we have grammatical quirks that are a result of the region. We’ll both say things like, “Are you taking that book with?”
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Be sure to check out all the posts in our Relationship Series here!

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Is there a trait your SO possesses you never pictured your him/her having?

Mrs. Yorkie - I never thought I’d marry someone so creative. Mr. Yorkie really surprised me (in a refreshingly good way) with how crafty and handy he is. Over the years, he’s gifted me with a number of handmade treasures, including the intricately constructed card that he used to propose with. I love that we were able to join forces on so many of our DIY wedding projects. It’s definitely not something that I would have expected from my sweet scientist!

Miss Ramen - I NEVER thought I’d be marrying a guy who was SO into aesthetics. And of course, Mr. Ramen is an industrial designer! But it’s all good - even though he’s not the greatest for fashion advice, when it comes to DIYing our wedding, he’s the best partner-in-crime to have!
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Be sure to check out all the posts in our Relationship Series here!

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In what ways are you and your FI total opposites?

Mrs. Bear Cub - Thankfully, Mr. BC is outgoing. I’m such a shy person, especially in groups of people I haven’t met! Mr BC is fantastic with talking to a crowd, and he brings me into the conversation.

The other thing is that he’s a bit more… unorganized than I am. He likens this to being like a Sims character - when he’s done with something, he just drops it on the floor and immediately forgets about it! He does clean sometimes, but when cleaning involves putting stuff away, he just opens the nearest drawer or closet, and shoves stuff in there, with no rhyme or reason! It’s a little challenging to find the shampoo sometimes (once I found it in the fridge!).
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Be sure to check out all the posts in our Relationship Series here!

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The ideal age difference between a couple is ___. Why do you feel this way?

Mrs. French Bulldog - I obviously can’t speak for other couples, but we’re only a month or 2 apart and it is ideal for us. I’d dated men older than me in the past and always felt like they thought they knew better than me because they were older. We like being “on the same level”.

Miss Frozen Yogurt - I don’t think that I ever considered what an ideal age difference would be; however, I never would have guessed that my future husband would be YOUNGER than me. That’s right, 2 years younger (I almost didn’t give him a chance because of it, such an ageist!). I’ve always felt mature for my age, and just assumed that I would have to date someone older than me to compensate for that. Well, Mr. Fro Yo always felt the same way, so it just works for us, and has never been an issue. Although sometimes when we talk about what grade we were in when such and such happened, I’m reminded and then it’s funny to think about.
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What did you think your future spouse would look like, and what does he/she actually look like?

Ms. Swan - HA! I thought I wanted: TALL :), well-built, dark hair, a medium to dark skin complexion, and dark eyes a la Boris Kodjoe.

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Instead, Mr. Swan is kinda short, has blonde hair, and hazel eyes (he’s well built, though).
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Be sure to check out all the posts in our Relationship Series here!

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Did you expect/consider to marry someone outside of your race/background/religion, did you do so? If so, how has it been more difficult/more interesting/etc.?

Miss Poodle - I never thought I was going to marry someone that was not Chilean, just because I thought it was going to be harder to find someone with the same goals, beliefs, sense of humor or matching personality if they were not from here. To my surprise, when I met Mr. Poodle he was that and so much more, even though he still struggles with Spanish when communicating with my family. We have so much in common that it sometimes amaze me.

We might not speak the same native language but we have pretty much the same beliefs. We respect each others’ cultures and we have learned to enjoy the differences between us. We are really excited about raising our future children incorporating all the things we love about our home countries.

As a side note, I thought it was really funny that he got excited when I warned him about the fact that we kiss on the cheek when we say “hi“ here. He’s such a goof.
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Were you physically attracted to your fiance immediately, or did the physical attraction come after you got to know each other more?

Mrs. Mascara - I had a huge crush on Mr. Mascara as a high school freshman, which is weird considering we didn’t really know each other at that point! I remember secretly being jealous when he asked a friend of mine to a dance my freshman year. We didn’t end up dating until a couple years later, but I think the attraction was always there!

Mrs. Snow Pea - Immediately. He had good teeth, eyes, a nice smile and clean fingernails.
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What is the defining personality trait you thought your future spouse would possess? Does your actual spouse/fiance possess it?

Mrs. Mouse - I always thought I would marry someone who shared my love for literature. In the 5 and 1/2 years I’ve known the Dude, he has read maybe one book cover to cover. He’s more of an engineer/science type, while I’m liberal arts all the way. The good thing is, we always have a lot of things to explain to each other!

Mrs. Peep Toe - Honestly, I have no idea who I thought I’d marry. Maybe someone athletic who loves the ocean. Instead I got a self proclaimed geek, who grew up in the desert and loves movies and music. That said, Mr. Peep thought he’d marry someone much more artsy and creative. Needless to say, Mr. Peep hates all my music and only goes into the ocean under protest. Again, I think our differences are what make us a much more interesting couple.
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Helllooooo hive! We’re kicking off a new series today called the Relationship Series! The bees all got together and thought of a bunch of great questions to ask you and each other about relationships, love, and life in general. For the next few weeks, we’ll be featuring a bunch of great questions and the bees’ answers, and we’d love for you to participate, as well!

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When I was young, I thought I’d get married at age _____. I actually got married at age _____. This worked out better/worse for me because _____.

Mrs. Deviled Egg - When I was in high school, I assumed I would be married shortly after college at age 22 or 23, as that seemed to be the ages my sisters would marry. When I was in college, I pushed it back to 24 or 25, but never thought I wouldn’t be married by 25. After ending a 3-year relationship at the beginning of my senior year of college, I realized that it would be very likely I’d be over 25. I met Mr. DE 9 days before my 26th birthday and we were married when I was 28.

Of course, I feel that this worked out great for me. I ended up with Mr. DE, who I love more than I ever thought I could love someone. I also had an established career and a clearer idea of what I wanted out of life. I am thankful for the maturity and perspective I’ve gained over the last few years, as well. If I think about it, the only thing disappointing to me about marrying at 28 is that I always thought I would have kids by now. And, I’ve always wanted a lot of kids (like, oh… 6 or so). Because of my later start in marriage, I don’t see myself having quite as many children. I’m still holding out hope for 3 or 4, though!
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