Not long after we booked both venues, the band and the caterer, Mr. Cream Puff told me that he thought our wedding was “too grand.” He was having a mini-freak-out about the size of our wedding, and it caught me totally off guard. To me, our wedding is pretty modest–we’re aiming for 130 guests. Apparently Mr. Cream Puff would be more comfortable with a smaller wedding–think 20 people–and he didn’t tell me until we’d already put down a bunch of deposits.
So I had a mini-freak-out. After all, this wedding should be representative of both of us, not just of me. However, we were in a position monetarily where we would lose out on thousands of dollars if we backed out for a smaller wedding. And the fact is, I’m not sure how we could get our guest list below 120 people, period. My family + Mr. CP’s family = 109 people, and that’s with none of our friends–not even those closest to us. We are both very close with our families, and the idea of leaving any of them out seemed like pure tragedy to me.
I consulted my friend Kathy, who was recently married. She told me that her husband-to-be had a very similar freak out before their wedding. She reassured me by telling me that her husband eventually got over it and actually started to look forward to the wedding.
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There is a scene in Sex and the City where Charlotte is preparing Shabbas dinner with Miranda and Carrie. Miranda warns Charlotte not to be overeager about her future with Harry. Charlotte passionately replies, “It’s beshert! It’s meant to be!”
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I’m completing my last rotation before I graduate from Optometry school in a Veterans Hospital. My passion in my field is kiddos, so I was pretty sure before I started that I was going to hate this particular placement. And to be honest, I will be happy to get back to what I love. But in the meantime I have to say I’ve met some pretty interesting old guys!

Mr. Peacock and I are one of those “opposites attract” couples. Here is a quick list of the ways in which we differ:
Sitting in the Bullpen Bar at the Cell/Comisky. Crosstown Classic, June ’05.
I saved my “gear” for the game, but took no pictures!
This weekend, Mr. Cupcake and I attended a Marriage Preparation Workshop at the church where we’ll be getting married. We didn’t really know what to expect, but we were pleasantly surprised by how much we enjoyed the day’s events.
After lunch with six other couples who are getting married at the church this year, our workshop began with Betsy, a professional marriage counselor/therapist. The day focused much less on religion than it did on marriage and the issues that newlyweds face. The four main topics were:
• communication
• spending habits and financial planning
• family of origin
• sexuality and intimacy
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This past weekend I attended the wedding celebrations of Mr Peony’s cousin (congratulations, Laura and Wilson!). The MOH mentioned in her speech that Laura knew, just after her third date with Wilson, that they would be getting married one day.
I then turned to Mrs Poppy (my FSIL), who was sitting next to me, and asked if she and Mr Poppy knew right away as well. They did. 
My situation is vastly different. The very first time that I met Mr Peony, he tried to hit on me and I ran away. Fast forward 4 years and we started to become friends. We were friends for a while, then best friends, before he actually made his move. Even then, I’m sorry to say that I don’t think I was that attracted to him. I had been in a series of serious relationships where I had gotten my heart broken numerous times, so I wasn’t looking for anything serious at all - it was all for fun, something I had never done before.
Mr. Kiwi and I have been married for two weeks now. People are still coming up to us and telling us how much they enjoyed the ceremony, and how beautiful the wedding was (pictures are coming, I swear). Other than that, nothing much has changed. Sure, there is the whole having to change my name over thing, and the “how’s married life?” questions to answer (wait: there is supposed to be a difference?), but that’s about it.
It’s strange because this is one of the hugest decisions you will likely make in your life. Despite what the celebrities are showing us, splitting up isn’t so easy after a marriage, and who goes into a marriage relying on the idea that divorce is always an option? I said it was strange because although it is such a huge step, the actual marriage part isn’t as different as I thought it’d be. The “Hot Thread” post from yesterday got me thinking about this little (big) thing called marriage.
Much like the poster, I also experienced some major what-ifs. Mr. Kiwi and I have been together for four years as well, with things between us more of a steady love, and less the “on-fire” type of love you seem to see all over the place. We’re getting married, right? Should we be more excited? Since day one of our reunion, I’ve known we’d end up married. Apparently, so did Mr. Kiwi. I’ve mentioned that we dated a decade ago, and throughout the years apart we grew up and became a little more stable, and wanted someone with the same ideals.
Here’s something a little fun for your Friday. Is the dancer turning clockwise or counterclockwise?
It’s turning counterclockwise for me which means I’m left-brained, and clockwise for Mr. Bee which means he’s right-brained (but we can both make her switch). The descriptions of what that means (read more here) are spot on for us and really show up in our marriage.
What about you and your significant other?
Mr. Canary and I are bickerers… not in a bad way… well it does get bad once in a while, but never bad enough that we can’t get over it.
We are both Type-As who have to be right. Perfect mix for a marriage, don’t you think?
But at the end of the day, we are tickled by what we argue over, usually meaningless stuff.
I just had a horribly vivid dream that Mr. Peony had cheated on me with several different girls. I woke up covered in sweat, with half-moon crevices neatly dug into my palms by my nails because my fists were clenched so tightly. I was tempted to wake up Mr. Peony but I knew that it was just a dream.
I continued to think about the dream well after I woke up and I asked myself what I would do if Mr. Peony had cheated on me now, during our engagement. Would I cancel the wedding and break up with him? Probably. But the more I think about it, the harder it must be….not only due to the wedding cancellation, but because of the emotional attachment and investment on my part. I actually began to sympathize with the women who decide to stay in their marriages after their spouse had cheated.
I remember reading once that infidelity can actually make a relationship stronger because it really makes you question why you were together in the first place. But would you chance it? Or would you pick up everything and leave?