Mrs. Aardvark, Beaver Dam, WIAge and Occupation: 23, Assistant Product ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Business Analyst Engagement Date: May 28th, 2011Wedding Date: April 2012Venue: St. Philip Catholic Church/Arcadia Brewing Co.About Me: I am a resourceful lady who love surprises and adventure. At the same time, I value traditions, family and friends. I like to make crafty messes, sometimes, clean them up, and do pretty much anything outdoors. The Mister and I are pretty avid cyclists---we have nine bikes in our home right now...and one motorcycle! We both enjoy eating food we can't pronounce (language doesn't really matter) and going places we've never been. We currently reside in rural Wisconsin, enjoying the cheese and beer it has to offer, and getting outside whenever we can!
Four years ago today I was a single college student in South Dakota. I had just joined a cycling team. I had been riding a bike my whole life, but had never competed. I was relieved/nervous that the first event of the season was an indoor “race” the team participated in for a local charity.
I was relieved because it was on stationary bikes so I knew I wouldn’t get dropped. I was also relieved because it was Singles Awareness Day (AKA Valentine’s Day). I was glad to be doing something besides sitting alone and feeling sorry for myself. (Leslie Knope had not yet invented “Galentine’s Day.”) I was nervous because I had never met any of these people in my life and I didn’t know if I would be fast enough to “keep up.”
If I had know I was about to meet my future husband, you can bet I would have been a lot more nervous! While neither of us claims love at first sight, for me it was at least interest at first sight. After each of us had ridden our “leg” of the race we all went to Pizza Ranch for lunch. (If you have never been to or seen a Pizza Ranch, it is an ideal location for calorie replacement and people watching.)
Miss Scone, Napa/Kansas CityAge and Occupation: 31, RecruiterFiancee's Age and Occupation: 33, Motorcycle MechanicEngagement Date: April 15, 2010Wedding Date: July 2012Venue: Boulevard BreweryAbout Me: I am a West Coast girl that fell for a Midwestern girl. I can’t get enough of baking, projecting, family and our fluffy dog child Darby. I bake by smell, haven’t used a timer in years and years. Having a major project on the horizon and a busy schedule keep me sane. I love beer even though I live in Napa (but I like wine too, just not as much as beer). We are planning a family friendly convivial affair in Kansas City and can’t wait to share the adventures.
After the engagement was “official” and we had moved into a bigger place and life had started to settle in a bit more, we decided to “think” about getting a dog. Sweetie Scone and I both missed having a dog, and she wanted some company. (She works from home/her mobile mechanic’s van.)
We talked about what kind of dog would be a good fit—not too big, not too small, just right (ah, Goldilocks). A small/medium-sized dog that liked people would be perfect. So one Sunday in August 2010 we walked into a Petco during an adoption event. We hadn’t even finished walking through the doors when I spotted a white fluffy dog that looked to be the perfect size. When we approached him he was friendly; they offered to let us take him on a walk so off we went. It seemed like he had no issue with other dogs. He was sweet, and we decided we could love him. WE HAD NO IDEA HOW MUCH WE COULD LOVE HIM, aaaaaahhhh. Oh, and my parents love him. (Like, they threaten to keep him when he comes to stay with them.)
He is our dog-child, and my parents call him their granddog. He went from the streets to an unhappy foster situation to being overly loved by everyone—seriously, the dog trainer, the vet, the family, our workplaces. He is loved, not sure if you can tell.
Mrs. Doily, Cedar Rapids, IowaAge and Occupation: 25, Autism Paraeducator/ StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 28, IT Hosting SupportEngagement Date: August 27th, 2010Wedding Date: March 2012Venue: Father’s Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet CenterAbout Me: I’m an Iowan girl with a deep love of Harry Potter, classic movies, cardigans, and Post-Its. My type-A Virgo tendencies often cause me to drive my laid-back college sweetheart fiance batty with lists and PowerPoint presentations. I love to be crafty and do things myself, which explains why my two crazy kittens often will prance around the house covered in glitter and ribbons. When I am not bogged down with work, school, or wedding planning, I like to travel to visit my expansive family and have wild adventures with my best friends. After a rollercoaster ride of a love story, I’m ready to take that final plunge, marry the love of my life, and become a Mrs.!
Dear, dear hive, I am finally back from my unplanned hiatus. After I got back from my bridal shower, school hit me pretty hard, and then when I was finally ready to crank out some major posts, I realized that I had stupidly left my camera charger at my momma’s, which is three hours away. My mom finally popped my charger in the mail, so now I can forge ahead! Now that Mr. D and I are getting married next month (Um, yeah. Next month. I feel like I just started blogging, bu apparently that started about six months ago, and the wedding is in 7 weeks. Holy crap.), I have been hitting those projects left on my to do list like a monster. I still have a huge to-do list, but it’s totally manageable, and I’m surprisingly calm.
It has definitely not been this way during most of our engagement, and I already knew that I was being kind of, well, bitchy. But it turns out that the closer we get, the more my mental health seems to be getting a little unstable. I’m not sure if you remember, but I told y’all how I am bipolar. For those of you who don’t know what it means, in the simplest terms, at least for what I experience, I have mood swings like a mo’fo and there is absolutely nothing I can really do to control it on my own. I do take some medications, but this doesn’t just make all of my cray-cray go away.
This definitely puts a strain on Mr. D’s and my relationship, though now he knows how to handle me a lot better than he did in the past. Read more…
Miss Scone, Napa/Kansas CityAge and Occupation: 31, RecruiterFiancee's Age and Occupation: 33, Motorcycle MechanicEngagement Date: April 15, 2010Wedding Date: July 2012Venue: Boulevard BreweryAbout Me: I am a West Coast girl that fell for a Midwestern girl. I can’t get enough of baking, projecting, family and our fluffy dog child Darby. I bake by smell, haven’t used a timer in years and years. Having a major project on the horizon and a busy schedule keep me sane. I love beer even though I live in Napa (but I like wine too, just not as much as beer). We are planning a family friendly convivial affair in Kansas City and can’t wait to share the adventures.
When we started dating I was working full time, I had just signed up for a few brush-up classes prior to applying for MBA programs, and I was studying for the GMAT. It was a fun time, let me tell you. We were seeing each other almost every day of the week, and I was traveling for work, studying, and falling in love. Sleep was not in my future.
I have always known that I wouldn’t do well having to give up my personal aspirations for a relationship; it has ended a relationship or two in the past. So I was very clear with Sweetie Scone that I would be entering a nighttime master’s program the following fall while continuing to work—Sweetie Scone being the rock star she is said she wanted to hang in there with me.
Miss Scone, Napa/Kansas CityAge and Occupation: 31, RecruiterFiancee's Age and Occupation: 33, Motorcycle MechanicEngagement Date: April 15, 2010Wedding Date: July 2012Venue: Boulevard BreweryAbout Me: I am a West Coast girl that fell for a Midwestern girl. I can’t get enough of baking, projecting, family and our fluffy dog child Darby. I bake by smell, haven’t used a timer in years and years. Having a major project on the horizon and a busy schedule keep me sane. I love beer even though I live in Napa (but I like wine too, just not as much as beer). We are planning a family friendly convivial affair in Kansas City and can’t wait to share the adventures.
Just over a year ago the State of California processed our domestic partnership paperwork and officially made us “domesticated in the eyes of the state.” Would you like to see what it looks like?
Miss Woodpecker, Branford, CT Age and Occupation: 27, Graduate Student/School Psych InternFiance's Age and Occupation: 29, GlazierEngagement Date: Christmas Eve 2010Wedding Date: September 2012Venue: Owenego Beach ClubAbout Me: I’m a Connecticut native planning a coastal beach wedding in our hometown. My loves in life include: food, family and the fiance. I’m a planner/organization fiend, by nature and by addiction, and am obsessed with all things wedding and design. We're trying to put personal touches on everything we can in our wedding, to really make it personal to us, our family, and friends. In the middle of wedding planning, I’m also finishing up grad school, and will be starting a brand new career within weeks of our wedding. It’s going to be an adventure!
Now that Mr. Woodpecker and I are engaged, people inevitably ask us, “So, how did you two meet?” Welp, our story is less than romantic. In fact, it isn’t very romantic at all. It involves flying sushi and beer pong. But here it is, the story of us:
Even though we didn’t have a fairytale meeting, I don’t doubt that Mr. Woodpecker and I were meant to be. Back in the summer of ’07, I had just moved back to Connecticut from Boston. Luckily for me, I was still pretty high on life from making it through my first year of post-college life successfully, and more confident than ever before. Mr. Woodpecker was…living the bachelor life. We were both atteding a party of a mutual friend. I noticed Mr. WP as soon as I got there. However, I also knew he was checking me out, so I did what my girlfriends back then told me to do to get him to notice: I totally ignored him. (Does that really work??)
Miss Coyote, Westchester, NYAge and Occupation: 26, Administrative AssistantFiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Computer ProgrammerEngagement Date: August 2010Wedding Date: June 2012Venue: Franklin PlazaAbout Me: I am an overly-caffeinated, sports-obsessed history nerd who loves a good book and hates bananas. Originally from a small town in Upstate NY, I made the move to Westchester County and never looked back! My loves include NBC Thursdays, red wine, fleece pajamas, and my amazing fiancé. Together we are planning a formal evening affair for 175 guests with a mix of new and old traditions and plenty of personal touches.
This is kind of a Christmas story, but I figured with Valentine’s Day approaching it would be appropriate to share with all of you now.
This is the story of the love potato.
I think I may have mentioned before that the Coyotes are not an incredibly romantic couple. Mushy-gushy just isn’t our style, and most of our romantic attempts either seem forced or just backfire in our faces. (Remind me to tell you about The Great Valentine’s Debacle of 2010 one day…that’s a fun one.) Anyway, we like to keep it real and express our love in ways that might seem a bit strange to others.
That is true love, my friends. / (Personal photo)
Now a few years back we were celebrating Christmas Day with my family. Everyone was exchanging gifts and doing their thing when Mr. Coyote dumped a small, oddly wrapped gift in my lap. He seemed very excited about it and was grinning like a fool while I opened it. I have never, ever seen him act this way over a silly Christmas gift, so I was starting to feel a little suspicious. What in the hell was this thing, and why he was so freakin’ excited about it?
So what was this amazing gift that had my dude so giddy?
Mrs. Hawk, Richmond, VAAge and Occupation: 26, FinanceFiance's Age and Occupation: 30, District SupervisorEngagement Date: March 13, 2011Wedding Date: May 2012Venue: The Chapel of the Sir Christopher Wren Building, 2007 Legacy HallAbout Me: I’m an Arizona-born girl who has spent the majority of my life living below the Mason-Dixon line. The South has definitely earned a special place in my heart (alongside my Virginia born and bred fiance, of course!). We are planning a traditional Christian ceremony at my alma mater in historic Williamsburg, Virginia, followed by a rocking reception filled with Southern cooking and vintage/shabby chic details. When we’re not wedding planning, we enjoy spending time with our three dogs, going for runs together, watching plenty of football (or baseball depending on the season), and sampling new wine.
While listening to an area morning show, I heard about an article featured in the New York Times opinion columns, titled “Alpha Wives: The Trend and the Truth.” From the radio conversation, it seemed like another discourse on men not being able to handle being with successful women. The DJ’s listed countless failed marriages: Courtney Cox and David Arquette, Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe, Sandra Bullock and Jesse James, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline… And implied that the success of the woman was most likely part of the demise of the marriage. (Jesse James though? Really? I think we all know what his problem was…)
When I had a free minute, I looked up the article (and I’ll admit I was ready to dislike it from the start). I was surprised to find seven takes on the growing trend of women being the breadwinners in the family. All of the writers featured stats from the latest Pew Research Center Study and had positive things to say about growing equality in marriage and joint responsibility; however, the article was entitled “Alpha Wives.” Now I am all for a powerful, educated, and determined woman, but for some reason the “alpha” title irked me. Most of the contributors referred to joint responsibility in finances and taking care of the home as well as shared decision-making power. To me that says that no one is really “alpha” in the relationship.
The article got me thinking about my own relationship. Mr. Hawk currently makes a higher income than I do and also has the burden of being on the road most of the week. Read more…
Mrs. Porcupine, NYC/Lancaster, PAAge and Occupation: 26, Sales Coordinator/PublishingFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Assistant Manager/SalesEngagement Date: August 8, 2010Wedding Date: March 2012Venue: Riverdale ManorAbout Me: I'm a born and bred New Yorker with a love/hate relationship for the city I have always called home. Although I may seem quiet from afar, I have a loud personality once you get to know me. I am a book nerd at heart, but love a night out in the city with good friends. I have a serious addiction to all things cheese, chocolate, cardigans, Mexican food, and reality TV. The future hubs and I met in college, settled in New York, and decided to go with a rustic/peacock infused wedding in Lancaster, PA, right near his hometown. Come the big day, we will be together 5 years, and we're looking forward to making it official!
There’s some exciting news on the Porcupine front. For starters, Mr. P got a new job (wahoo!). It’s a better position for his long-term goals, IN the city (he was working in a different borough), and much better hours/he’ll actually get national holidays off.
One of the most interesting comments I think he got when he put in his resignation was, “are you sure you want to do this now? You’re about to get married.”
It got me thinking what some people think “married” means. Does it mean staying in a stable job and turning down other opportunities for the sake of a guaranteed paycheck? Is it really still the norm for a man to stay at a job for the sole purpose of “providing for his family?” When you take a step back from that whole “about to get married thing,” Mr. P and I are only 26 years old. We have no children. We have no mortgage. We have no real debt except for my college loans. Even though I sometimes have no idea how I got to my mid-20s, we’re for the most part still at the beginning of our careers. If you’ve already “made it” at 26 (Mark Zuckerberg, *grumble, grumble*), that’s pretty awesome, but like most we’re still climbing the ladder and figuring it out. So, if we don’t take chances now, when will we? Read more…
Miss Scone, Napa/Kansas CityAge and Occupation: 31, RecruiterFiancee's Age and Occupation: 33, Motorcycle MechanicEngagement Date: April 15, 2010Wedding Date: July 2012Venue: Boulevard BreweryAbout Me: I am a West Coast girl that fell for a Midwestern girl. I can’t get enough of baking, projecting, family and our fluffy dog child Darby. I bake by smell, haven’t used a timer in years and years. Having a major project on the horizon and a busy schedule keep me sane. I love beer even though I live in Napa (but I like wine too, just not as much as beer). We are planning a family friendly convivial affair in Kansas City and can’t wait to share the adventures.
So I told you a smidge about our first date, and that I was never really into dating, but I didn’t tell you about knowing she was the one. We fit together instantly like puzzle pieces, which was incredibly scary and exhilarating at the same time. After two months of dating we bought plane tickets five months out to visit Sweetie Scone’s family. After knowing her for two months, I committed to a relationship of seven months, good, bad, or indifferent. SEVEN MONTHS! That was huge—just putting it out there.
This act alone was absolutely out of character for me. I am the girl who hadn’t held a relationship past four months. I actively pushed people away when things started getting too real. In buying those plane tickets, I knew that she had made it into my heart; she had a grasp on me that I couldn’t shake.
After that moment I let her in more and more. Shortly after that we started talking about marriage unofficially…
Miss Scone, Napa/Kansas CityAge and Occupation: 31, RecruiterFiancee's Age and Occupation: 33, Motorcycle MechanicEngagement Date: April 15, 2010Wedding Date: July 2012Venue: Boulevard BreweryAbout Me: I am a West Coast girl that fell for a Midwestern girl. I can’t get enough of baking, projecting, family and our fluffy dog child Darby. I bake by smell, haven’t used a timer in years and years. Having a major project on the horizon and a busy schedule keep me sane. I love beer even though I live in Napa (but I like wine too, just not as much as beer). We are planning a family friendly convivial affair in Kansas City and can’t wait to share the adventures.
I would like to preface this with a little background about me. I have never been one to date regularly or become overly attached to my romantic relationships. After ending the most serious relationship I had been, in I took 1.5 years off from dating and relationships altogether; I needed to get my head back on and evaluate my goals. I was also traveling regularly for work so I was never in one place for very long. After determining that dating could be fun again, I started trying to connect with people. My friends are scattered all over and all seemed to be enjoying coupledom, so I turned to the web for the first time in my life to meet new people.
After about a week or two of looking I ran across a posting where the person definitely did not seem like they were looking for a hookup or a booty call and seemed pretty real but not overly focused on getting into a long-term relationship. Sounded pretty good to me, so I emailed her. For just over a week we emailed back and forth. It seemed like things were going pretty well, so we scheduled a lunch date on Super Bowl Sunday 2009… Read more…
Mrs. Petit Four, San Antonio/Isla MujeresAge and Occupation: 25, Technology teacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Math Teacher and Football CoachEngagement Date: Feb 13, 2010Wedding Date: March 2012Venue: Zama Beach Club, Isla Mujeres, MexicoAbout Me: I am a polka-dot obsessed, destination wedding diva living and loving in the great state of Texas. I am an island girl at heart and I visit the beach as often as I can. I am a wannabe DIY goddess, but that doesn’t mean I won’t give it my best shot. I love pearl earrings, the color pink, and ruffles are a part of my everyday wardrobe. My wonderful fiance and I are planning a destination wedding with our closest family and friends and we’re leaving a trail of glitter in our path!
After talking about the whole shacking up deal, I got to thinking about one of the main reasons we started living together.
Mr. PF is from Austin and I’m from San Antonio and we met somewhere in between. I ended up moving to Austin first to be with him, but we didn’t live in the same abode. After living in Austin for about a year or so, I realized that I really missed being home and I told Mr. PF that I would be moving back to San Antonio at the end of my lease.
It’s funny because I didn’t really think about it as leaving him, but I thought of it more as going home to be with my family. Since Mr. PF couldn’t resist my charms, he surprised me by telling me that he wanted to move with me! Read more…
Mrs. Mole, Los Angeles/Las VegasAge and Occupation: 29, Test Prep InstructorFiance's Age and Occupation: 31, User Experience ArchitectEngagement Date: April 2011Wedding Date: January 2012Venue: Wynn Las Vegas/Bouchon BistroAbout Me: I’m a Wisconsinite-turned-Angeleno who is planning a destination wedding in Las Vegas. I am passionate about education: I spent 23 (!) consecutive years in school, and now I work to help other people get into graduate programs. I love running on the treadmill, buying bath products from Lush, learning new moves in step aerobics, and exploring my neighborhood on foot. I am sometimes snobby about food, but I am rarely snobby about books. I read everything from Geoffrey Chaucer to Iris Murdoch to Chuck Klosterman to Candace Bushnell. My fiance and I are getting married on our third anniversary!
One of my (admittedly many) guilty pleasures is gossip magazines. I love crashing on the couch after work with a huge mug of tea and an US Weekly. Anyway, the cover of this week’s US Weekly really caught my eye. Below a picture of Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake reads the caption: “Can She Trust Justin?” The subtitle goes on to add the following: “It took a bitter breakup and Jessica’s ultimatum before Timberlake finally proposed.”
This cover and subsequent article got me thinking about marriage ultimatums. Can they ever work? Or will they just cause bigger problems down the road?
I think most people will agree that an ultimatum in the strictest terms — where one partner threatens to leave the other if a ring isn’t offered within a certain time period — is not a great way to start a marriage.
Miss Boa Constrictor, Isabela, Puerto RicoAge and Occupation: 22, Undergraduate StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 23, Soon-to-be Civil EngineerEngagement Date: May 19, 2011Wedding Date: May 2012Venue: El Faro Convention CenterAbout Me: I’m a Caribbean gal, born and bred on the beautiful island of Puerto Rico, finishing her last year as an undergrad. I describe myself as a “closet nerd” as I secretly enjoy reading research papers, playing video games, and geeking out on Lord of the Rings movie marathons. I will marry my college sweetheart, a soon-to-be civil engineer, who loves Legos and old-school Puerto Rican cooking. This is sure to be a fast-paced year with our wedding, honeymoon, college graduation, new jobs, and a cross-country move all within less than 30 days of each other!
December 12, 2011 was my parents’ 24th anniversary, so 2012, the year I get married, will also be the year of my parents’ 25th anniversary. (They are renewing their vows!) This means the year I celebrate my 25th anniversary with Mr. Boa, they will be celebrating their 50th. Can anybody say double wedding!
My parents met during my mom’s first year at college; they got married two years later, both dropping out of college at the ages of 20 and 22 to start their new life together. They had me two years later and my sister was born two years after that. Being young parents cemented their relationship even more, and their love made our home an incredibly nurturing environment to be raised in.
Mrs. Mole, Los Angeles/Las VegasAge and Occupation: 29, Test Prep InstructorFiance's Age and Occupation: 31, User Experience ArchitectEngagement Date: April 2011Wedding Date: January 2012Venue: Wynn Las Vegas/Bouchon BistroAbout Me: I’m a Wisconsinite-turned-Angeleno who is planning a destination wedding in Las Vegas. I am passionate about education: I spent 23 (!) consecutive years in school, and now I work to help other people get into graduate programs. I love running on the treadmill, buying bath products from Lush, learning new moves in step aerobics, and exploring my neighborhood on foot. I am sometimes snobby about food, but I am rarely snobby about books. I read everything from Geoffrey Chaucer to Iris Murdoch to Chuck Klosterman to Candace Bushnell. My fiance and I are getting married on our third anniversary!
Mr. Mole likes to watch Louis C.K. He also likes to quote Louis C.K. (And Seinfeld. And The Simpsons. And etc.) I like Mr. Mole enough to usually listen.
Anyway, when we were driving home after our book club meeting and dinner at our favorite Indian restaurant last night, Mr. Mole started talking about part of Louis C.K.’s film Hilarious, which addresses the topic of divorce. Here’s the transcript:
Let me tell you something. And this is important because someday one of your friends is gonna get divorced. It’s gonna happen. And they’re gonna tell you. Don’t go, “Oh I’m sorry!” That’s a stupid thing to say. It really is. First of all, you’re making them feel bad for being really happy, which isn’t fair. And second, let me explain something to you. Divorce is always good news. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce. It’s really that simple. That’s never happened – THAT would be sad. If two people were married and they were really happy and they just had a great thing, and then they got divorced, that would be really sad. But that has happened zero times. Literally zero. Ray Charles has killed more Jews than happy marriages have ended in divorce.
Huh, right? This quotation really got me thinking. Read more…
