Mrs. Lioness, AtlantaAge and Occupation: 25, Physical TherapistFiance's Age and Occupation: 25, AttorneyEngagement Date: August 29, 2009Wedding Date: April 2011Venue: Anthony’s Fine DiningAbout Me: I’m a Southern girl with New England roots. I say "wicked" and "y’all" in the same sentence and I like to drink sweet tea with my lobster. Mr. Lion and I are both former Floridians now living in Atlanta, which fortunately is still SEC country...Go Gators! We both love baseball, coffee, traveling, cooking, and playing Words with Friends with each other on our iPhones all day long. I’m very passionate about the things and the people I love, and I tend to plan things with all of my heart...our wedding, of course, is no different! Oh, and also Mr. Lion is a first generation American of Cuban descent. I may look more like Lucy than Ricky, but I’m doing my best to incorporate some Latin elements into our vintage-garden-Southern wedding!
We got a flash drive in the mail yesterday. It was a flash drive filled with over 1,000 image files. And they were awesome. We’re still waiting on photos from our second shooter, and I still need to sort through all of them, but I figured we could get started on the non-wedding recaps in the meantime!
The Lioness wedding weekend kicked off with something a little out of character for me: I did something religious. I choose to immerse myself in a mikvah.
A mikvah (also spelled mikveh) is a ritual bath used by Jewish women, and sometimes by Jewish men. Orthodox Jewish women are required to immerse themselves in a mikvah after menstruation and childbirth, and before their own wedding. For the rest of us, it’s optional. Read more…
Mrs. Hyena, College Station, TXAge and Occupation: 23, Marketing SpecialistFiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Aerospace Engineering Grad StudentEngagement Date: January 8, 2010Wedding Date: May 2011Venue: Downtown 202About Me: I'm a Texas girl who met my future hubby in high school, then headed up to Oklahoma for a college education (BOOMER SOONER!) before moving back to the Lone Star State to be with him. I love reading and recycling, Photoshop and reality TV, making lame jokes and then laughing at them, quoting movies, and Mr. Hyena most of all. I'm perpetually early and I like to get things accomplished. When my cat meows at me, I meow back. We're planning a laid-back, unintentionally DIY wedding with a cocktail-party vibe, and can't wait to celebrate our nuptials with our nearest and dearest!
The beginning of our engagement was very frustrating for me. I had moved to this new city about eight months prior and, as churchgoing folk, we decided we wanted to find a church to attend together. The difficult part was finding one we both liked, since we came from different religious backgrounds and hadn’t had to deal with them while in college. Now that we were living in the same town, there were a lot of churches to try out, and we tried. them. all.
Mrs. Seashell, Chicago, IL / Providence, RIAge and Occupation: 28, Marriage and Family TherapistFiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Electrical EngineerEngagement Date: September 3, 2009Wedding Date: September 2010Venue: The Glen Manor HouseAbout Me: Fonts and fashion, stationery and Sundays, photography and french toast... the beauty is in the details for this fun-loving Chicagoan who loves to plan plan plan! The soon-to-be hubs plays "Mr. Fix-It" in our new condo while I swoon over beautiful, personalized stationery and choose shades of aubergine for my bridesmaids' dresses... and thus begins my new fairy tale! Skirting to the East Coast for our September nuptials where my home state of Rhode Island awaits with fall foliage, I'm just a few dress fittings and bachelorette party away from saying "I Do" to a very happy ending!
I was never a rebellious kid. I never had that angsty teen phase where I hated everything and everyone, nor have I ever gotten myself into trouble. I’m not, and never was, the type to fight with my parents or cause a disagreement. In fact, I’m the happiest when everyone else is happy. Though, admittedly, sometimes this means backing down from asserting myself. Mr. Seashell is very similar to me in this way, except he is far better at defending his beliefs. That’s the preface.
When it came time to seriously consider our wedding ceremony, Mr. Seashell and I were on the exact same page: we did not want a Catholic Mass. However, we were both raised Catholic. Read more…
Mrs. Zebra, Providence, RIAge and Occupation: 24 Marketing/Costume DesignerFiance's Age and Occupation: 26 Management/Firefighter Engagement Date: December 12, 2008Wedding Date: March 2011Venue: The Providence BiltmoreAbout Me: I'm a small town New England girl with an affinity for procrastination, crossing the proverbial line, and putting her foot in her mouth. I'm a lover of history, all seasons, sewing and Incubus. I design costumes on the side for my old high school's theatre department, which is where I met my sexy man. Our motto for our Big Fat Lebanese/Portuguese/Irish near-300 person wedding is "the more the merrier"! We are marrying in a Catholic ceremony and are hammering out the details of our Victorian-inspired reception.
It is going to be tough writing this post, but I know I must for you. I do not want to turn any burgeoning Catholics off by talking about our Pre-Cana experience but I would be doing you an injustice by saying that it was peaches and cream.
If you are going to marry in the Catholic church, a couple must go through Pre-Cana classes. It is a group couples’ counseling session that goes over such topics as communication, finances, future goals, sex (yep, it’s in there), etc.
I have to make an aside in order for you to fully understand why our experience turned unpleasant. You see, as much a Catholic as I am, I fully believe in equality. I’ve met Matthew Shepard’s mother, I helped install the LGTB club in high school. I will not tolerate the perpetuation of hate. The bible has a whole lot to say about treating everyone with respect, and far be it for me to judge anyone else for the way they were born. Zeb feels the same way.
With that in mind, our two days started out pleasantly. Read more…
Mrs. Hot Cocoa, Boston/Los AngelesAge and Occupation: 31, JD/PhD StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Medical StudentEngagement Date: May 30, 2008Wedding Date: March, 2009Blogging Since: April, 2008Venue: Ritz Carlton, Marina Del ReyAbout Me:
I am a professional student by day and an amateur cupcake taster, bargain shopper, and wedding planner by night. I am obsessed with NPR, the Food Network, paper, dance shows, Anthropologie, post-structuralist theory, Weddingbee!, "The Office," and celebrity gossip. When not procrastinating from my dissertation, I spend time catering to Jellyby, our overly anxious shih tzu, and getting to know Mr. Hot Cocoa. We have only been dating for fifteen years, so it's like I'm in love with a stranger! From the East Coast, we are planning a Jewish-Chinese Extravaganza in L.A., where we both grew up.
I chose this post because it reminded me when I was knee-deep in wedding details that (as I wrote in another post) a wedding is not a single “perfect day.” Instead, it’s a long process that begins with the moment you declare your commitment to marry, encompasses actions and decisions both significant and banal, and involves discussion, compromise, and community. It’s about the joining of two families, two cultures, two worldviews, not just about the joining of two people or the throwing of one awesome party. As I reread it now, this post still evokes the sense of adventure, love, commitment, and trepidation I felt—and still feel—about becoming a Chewish wife.
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I’ve mentioned before that I’m in the process of converting to Judaism, and I’ve promised to write a longer post about my decision to convert and what the conversion process entails. So here goes a loooong two-part post…
The popular assumption is that anyone who converts to Judaism for marriage does so only after being pressured into it (usually by a naggy future mother-in-law, whom I’ll call “Estelle,” after George Costanza’s mother). “My darling baby boy. You can’t marry a shiksa!” kvetches Estelle. “Did you eat? Are you eating? Vy are you so thin? Is that shiksa not feeding you?” But Mr. HC’s family has never expressed any concern about his marrying “outside of the tribe” or put any pressure on me to go Jew. To the contrary, they’re to this day incredulous that I’d want to do such a thing!
Mrs. Jaguar, SydneyAge and Occupation: 27, Primary School TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 29, IT ConsultantEngagement Date: August 8, 2009Wedding Date: June 2011Venue: Curzon HallAbout Me: I'm an Australian girl who is a self-proclaimed nerd, loves all things stationery and would be lost without books, music and the internet. Mr. Jaguar and I have been together for the past eight years and he finally popped the question last August. Hurrah! We currently live in Sydney, Australia with our adorable cat who thinks he's a person. We're a couple who likes to multi-task: we've been planning a wedding abroad, a permanent move from London to Sydney, and preparing to build our own home all at the same time. Travelling makes me giddy...as does Mr. Jaguar, of course!
I found that there was a lot more involved in choosing a reception venue abroad than there was finding a ceremony venue. I suppose that makes sense, seeing asyou’re typically only at the ceremony for a few short hours, whereas so much happens at the reception that you need to plan for. Just like everything else, I found our ceremony location pretty easily online, while sitting at a computer in London.
Mr. Jaguar and I are both baptized Catholics. He is fully practising and goes to church each week—I only recently made the effort to be more consistent. My lovely fiancé has given me free rein on quite a lot of the planning, so most of the preparation talk you’ll hear in my blogs will seem to be all about me, me, me and what I think will work really well on our wedding day. Behind the scenes though, he has actually been pretty vocal about parts of the wedding that are important to him, and one of those parts was the actual marriage ceremony itself.
Mr. Jaguar wanted a traditional Catholic church ceremony.
Mrs. Cardigan, AustinAge and Occupation: 21, Student/Soon-to-be Special Education TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 20, Student/Soon-to-be Accounting Systems AnalystEngagement Date: August 16, 2009Wedding Date: January 2011Venue: Vintage VillasAbout Me: I'm a native Austinite who was raised as a die-hard Aggie. Luckily, I'm a pretty persuasive girl because I managed to convince my high school boyfriend (now fiance!), Mr. Cardigan, to ditch his hardcore Longhorn ways and join me up at A&M, where we currently reside with our adorable dogs, Cullen & Ranger. We're currently planning a bright, cheery wedding with a ridiculous amount of DIY projects that I can't wait to tackle! I love crafting in any form, reading, and margaritas (I think I love them the most!). Organization is what keeps me sane and I love helping others, which is probably why I ended up as an education major. It gets a little chaotic sometimes when you're planning a wedding among all of the papers, projects, finals, and certification exams, but we're having the time of our lives and we can't wait to get started on our journey as husband and wife - and we're so excited to share our wedding with the hive!
Remember how I said I wanted to talk about people being disappointed in our decisions? Yeah, let’s talk about that now. Then, I promise I’ll shut up about this topic. At least for a little while.
When we asked BIL Cardy to officiate our wedding, he was a bit reluctant. Partially because of nerves and partially because he wasn’t sure how my parents would feel about it. Honestly, this hadn’t even crossed our minds yet, and Mr. Cardy and I were a bit perplexed as to why my parents might have a problem with it. Maybe we were just being naïve, but we honestly figured they would just be happy that we had found a solution we were so excited about, and that would be that. But these things aren’t usually that simple, are they?
It turns out that my parents were very disappointed and upset when they found out that we weren’t planning on having a pastor officiate our wedding. They expressed that they had already been extremely upset that we weren’t getting married in a church (which I had no idea of until about a week ago), and now that we didn’t want to have a pastor, it was an even more difficult situation for them. BIL Cardy told Mr. Cardigan and myself that he didn’t feel comfortable saying yes to marrying us until he had my parents’ blessing.
I’ve had multiple conversations with almost every member of my family in the past couple of weeks, and I feel like I’ve had to justify my decisions and desires more in this week than I have in a very long time. Read more…
Mrs. Pretzel, SeattleAge and Occupation: 32 Learning, Training, and Development SpecialistFiance's Age and Occupation: 28 Manufacturing EngineerEngagement Date: September 2, 2009Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Catholic Church & The Engine Room at Georgetown StudiosAbout Me: I’m just a thirty-something girl who never dreamed of weddings, poofy dresses, or ritzy receptions. I am a rabid knitter, except recently, wedding projects have replaced my yarn and needles. I’ve been fiercely independent since the age of 2 and 30 years later I think my family and friends had given up on me settling down and getting married.
Ironically, I had to go all the way to Seattle to find a boy from Purdue. We fell in love over Seattle Beers and cooking together. I love NASCAR, he loves Legos. I can talk like a Muppet and he can fit a whole McDonald’s cheeseburger in his mouth. We are a two reception couple, currently planning a brewery inspired bash.
Posting about our Moo card invitations got me thinking about the weekend Mr Pretzel and I spent with cows, goats, chickens, and oh, about 25 other engaged couples. Strange how my brain works, but moo cards brought back memories of cows, an emu, and a donkey named Rusty.
I’m talking about our Catholic Engagement Encounter Retreat. Marriage preparation for those marrying in the Catholic Church is standard. What the marriage preparation looks like will vary from Parish to Parish, in our Parish we had three items to complete.
Mrs. Pretzel, SeattleAge and Occupation: 32 Learning, Training, and Development SpecialistFiance's Age and Occupation: 28 Manufacturing EngineerEngagement Date: September 2, 2009Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Catholic Church & The Engine Room at Georgetown StudiosAbout Me: I’m just a thirty-something girl who never dreamed of weddings, poofy dresses, or ritzy receptions. I am a rabid knitter, except recently, wedding projects have replaced my yarn and needles. I’ve been fiercely independent since the age of 2 and 30 years later I think my family and friends had given up on me settling down and getting married.
Ironically, I had to go all the way to Seattle to find a boy from Purdue. We fell in love over Seattle Beers and cooking together. I love NASCAR, he loves Legos. I can talk like a Muppet and he can fit a whole McDonald’s cheeseburger in his mouth. We are a two reception couple, currently planning a brewery inspired bash.
Just a couple weeks ago we had an impromptu garage sale after combing our households. How, you may ask, does one go about having an impromptu garage sale? Well first you have 3x as much stuff as your townhouse has room for.
Mrs. Brooch, Arlington, VAAge and Occupation: 25, Writer/EditorFiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Front Desk ManagerEngagement Date: October 3, 2009Wedding Date: April 2011Venue: Oxon Hill ManorAbout Me: I’m an indecisive girlie-girl with a motor mouth, can-do attitude, and knack for making others laugh. I dream of becoming a best selling novelist like Elizabeth Gilbert or Julie Powell (a girl can dream, right?), and love long road trips, a beautiful countryside, music, blogs, books, and all things vintage/thrift/antique/or homemade. I’m a Virgo, i.e. overly sensitive, emotional, and critical, and there’s no such thing as short and sweet in my world. I want to say and do it all. Mr. Brooch grounds me. I point where to go and he figures out the way. He’s a pragmatic fancy-pants who enjoys video games and movies. We both adore our mutt, Rocky, and spending time with our amazingly supportive family and friends. We’re planning a garden wedding with a formal reception with lots of whimsy and unique, Southern-inspired details.
Once we decided on our bridal party, the next step was picking a theme.
*Please note that there are several religious references in this post. These are our ideas, and we are in no way trying to push our beliefs onto you or your wedding.
At first, Mr. Brooch insisted we didn’t need a theme, but I argued that we needed something that tied together all the elements of our wedding.
We knew we wanted…
1. Good music (particularly R&B and soul music)
2. Good food (Southern comfort food and delicious desserts)
3. An intimate setting
4. Elements of nature (and earth tones)
5. To honor our mutual love for God
Well, even with those priorities in mind, we had a very tough time coming up with feasible themes. Our initial ideas were pretty lame—chess theme, movies theme, or Tuscan/plantation theme. Nothing seemed to express our common interests. Nothing seemed to fit.
It was actually kind of scary for a minute. We had to stop and asked each other, “We have stuff in common, right?” Read more…
Mrs. Thimble, NYC/PhiladelphiaAge and Occupation: 26, Actress & Costume Designer (+ day job)Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Lawyer & Techie WizEngagement Date: August 22, 2008Wedding Date: October 2010Venue: The Pearl S. Buck HouseAbout Me: I’m an easily inspired over-thinker delighted with the process of designing, building, directing and {dare I say} co-starring in the early-autumn affair I’ve been dreaming up. I’m a sucker for trendied-up comfort foods and old family anecdotes; I have an affinity for adjectives, alliteration, eyelet and earl grey; and I live for quality time with family and friends. I never guessed I’d marry my “high school sweetheart", but when it turned out to be my funny, techie, loyal Mr. Thimble I was committed for life. We’re both mid-career transition and ready to move back to small-townish TBD, PA in a pre-wedding flurry of all-good life changes.
Hi hive!! It’s been a while… I’ve be buried in invitation assembly and worried about getting everything done in eight weeks. I’ve had a constant fireball of stress burning in the pit of my stomach all week, and wedding nightmares have been creeping into my dreams—bad ones that make sleeping ineffective because I realize my heart has been racing while the story unfolded through the night…
This was bound to happen since I was on a wedding roll. I was manic happy about the whole thing and caught up in all the fun details. But now I’m concerned that if one thing goes wrong that my whole world will come crashing down on Wedding Day. I’ve played and re-played a daydream in my head in which the florists drop bouquets off at my parents’ house and I’m so overcome by their perfection and the reality of the day that they symbolize that I’m hugging my vendors and choking back tears of joy. (Yes, actress. Dramatic.) But what if the flowers aren’t what I asked for? What if they aren’t even close??
But why do I care? 2 weeks ago I had a healthy mantra that I’ll have fun no matter what and no one will know if something is amiss but me. But the reality is, I will be pretty mad about it. No, not mad. I’ll feel betrayed because I’ve created friendships in my head with my vendors. I think they’re all super awesome!
I’m disappointed in myself for being so concerned with the cosmetic details of the wedding that if they don’t turn out like I want them to I’ll let it cast a shadow over the day. Read more…
Mrs. Hot Cocoa, Boston/Los AngelesAge and Occupation: 31, JD/PhD StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Medical StudentEngagement Date: May 30, 2008Wedding Date: March, 2009Blogging Since: April, 2008Venue: Ritz Carlton, Marina Del ReyAbout Me:
I am a professional student by day and an amateur cupcake taster, bargain shopper, and wedding planner by night. I am obsessed with NPR, the Food Network, paper, dance shows, Anthropologie, post-structuralist theory, Weddingbee!, "The Office," and celebrity gossip. When not procrastinating from my dissertation, I spend time catering to Jellyby, our overly anxious shih tzu, and getting to know Mr. Hot Cocoa. We have only been dating for fifteen years, so it's like I'm in love with a stranger! From the East Coast, we are planning a Jewish-Chinese Extravaganza in L.A., where we both grew up.
Even though I’m a decrepit old bee, every once in a while a kind reader indulges me by pm-ing me a question. Recently, someone asked me how I went about “honoring relatives” at our wedding. Relatedly, a current post on the Judaism board asks for ways to involve more people in the ceremony. I’m sure many brides and grooms have this question, so I thought it’d be fun to invite the whole Weddingbee community, even those who aren’t Jewish, to share their suggestions.
I’ll kick it off by sharing what we did to involve our friends and family in our crazy Chewish wedding:
Mrs. Knitting, TorontoAge and Occupation: 24, Student Recruitment Assistant
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Neuroscience PhD CandidateEngagement Date: October 2009Wedding Date: December 2010Venue: University of Toronto Faculty Club
About Me: I'm a pearl wearing, etiquette book reading Toronto girl who loves cooking and baking, museums, charm bracelets, and collecting books on Jackie Kennedy (a lot). I've been known to spend Sunday mornings at the antique market, Wednesday evenings at sister sushi dinners, and any bit of spare time reading. After six and a half years of many late night walks, watching DVDs together in bed, travelling to places like New York, and Tobermory, doing Sudokus together on the couch, lots of Indian food, the occasional yoga class, moving in together and so much more, Mr. Knitting and I are planning a cozy Christmasy (it's a word!), vintage wedding in Toronto complete with many DIY projects (eek!) and lots of help from our amazing group of family and friends.
Haha, that’s a pretty goofy title for a not so goofy post.
Anyway, despite us both being raised Catholic and meeting in Catholic school, I’m not religious and Mr. Knitting is even more not religious. One might say we’re adamantly not religious. As a result, we will be having a civil ceremony. While I’m very happy with this and know that it’s absolutely the right choice for us, occasionally I get a bit jealous of church brides.
Mrs. Thimble, NYC/PhiladelphiaAge and Occupation: 26, Actress & Costume Designer (+ day job)Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Lawyer & Techie WizEngagement Date: August 22, 2008Wedding Date: October 2010Venue: The Pearl S. Buck HouseAbout Me: I’m an easily inspired over-thinker delighted with the process of designing, building, directing and {dare I say} co-starring in the early-autumn affair I’ve been dreaming up. I’m a sucker for trendied-up comfort foods and old family anecdotes; I have an affinity for adjectives, alliteration, eyelet and earl grey; and I live for quality time with family and friends. I never guessed I’d marry my “high school sweetheart", but when it turned out to be my funny, techie, loyal Mr. Thimble I was committed for life. We’re both mid-career transition and ready to move back to small-townish TBD, PA in a pre-wedding flurry of all-good life changes.
I admit, I talked a bighuge, full-of-myself game in my early post on wedding planning and I as soul mates. I was having a blast picking my game-day team who would help bring my vision to life and thinking up countless homespun projects. Bringing two families together has been easy as pie. These are not, at this time, the source of my stress—they are my solace in the storm.
Indecision is not the source of my stress either, but rather the result of handling my stress in inappropriate ways. It’s just the part of me that makes me hesitate when someone asks me how wedding plans are coming along because I’m not sure they really want to get into the benefits of letterpressed invitations or cardigans over shawls—but that’s where my mind usually is.
I am stressed because I’m a guilt-ridden people-pleaser. And I’m planning an interfaith ceremony.
We have done a disproportionately greater amount of work to prepare for the Catholic side of the wedding, but it is going to be a disproportionately more Jewish ceremony. I don’t have a problem with this, but my mother implies that she does. Read more…
Mrs. Trail Mix, New YorkAge and Occupation: 26, PE TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 27, MBA StudentEngagement Date: March 2009Wedding Date: June 2010Venue: Tannery Pond at the Darrow SchoolAbout Me: I'm a country girl who somehow found herself living in the Big Apple and loving every minute of it. I'm planning a rustic, country-chic wedding in my hometown in upstate New York and it's going to be a Party with a capital P. White wine, flea markets and running keep me happy and my friends, family and fiance are my world. I'm a little bit crafty, a little bit crazy but mostly just crazy in love.
That was pretty much my exact response when Mr Trail Mix asked me about ordering yarmulkes for the wedding, only maybe slightly higher-pitched than written words can convey. A yarmulke, also called a kippah, in case ya don’t know, is this:
They are traditionally worn at Jewish services of all types. I thought we had discussed the option of having kippot and nixed it. Mr Trail Mix, rather randomly, decided otherwise, hence my high-pitched reaction to his question about whether I had ordered said yarmulkes yet. Truth be told, it was more of a squawk than anything else…
The simple answer to this question was, “No, dear, I did not.” Which is exactly how I said it, without a trace of sarcasm in my voice.
