Miss Turkey, PhiladelphiaAge and Occupation: 29, Brand ManagementFiance's Age and Occupation: 28, ConsultantEngagement Date: February 2011Wedding Date: May 2012Venue: The Rittenhouse HotelAbout Me: I'm a marketer who loves a good glass of wine, anything pumpkin-flavored, every crime drama on TV and, of course, Mr. Turkey. It's funny to say out loud, but we're former coworkers turned betrothed---now planning a wedding in the city of Brotherly Love. For three years, we've been eating our way through Philadelphia, playing tourist at home, and cheering for every sports team in the 215. Although we've hit some unplanned snags along the way, we're determined to have a rocking party this spring with our loud, fun families and friends.
Miss Turkey, PhiladelphiaAge and Occupation: 29, Brand ManagementFiance's Age and Occupation: 28, ConsultantEngagement Date: February 2011Wedding Date: May 2012Venue: The Rittenhouse HotelAbout Me: I'm a marketer who loves a good glass of wine, anything pumpkin-flavored, every crime drama on TV and, of course, Mr. Turkey. It's funny to say out loud, but we're former coworkers turned betrothed---now planning a wedding in the city of Brotherly Love. For three years, we've been eating our way through Philadelphia, playing tourist at home, and cheering for every sports team in the 215. Although we've hit some unplanned snags along the way, we're determined to have a rocking party this spring with our loud, fun families and friends.
Before I get to the central topic of this post, let me back up a little.
As I mentioned, we are getting married in the Catholic Church. We are not doing a full mass, but decided on a wedding ceremony instead. According to the Church, this is called a “marriage outside of mass,” but to most people, it means no Holy Communion and about 30 minutes versus an hour (or more).
We made this decision for a few reasons. First, Mr. Turkey is not Catholic. Not that this fact always precludes you from having a full mass, but, depending on the church (or priest), it may. However, this fact wasn’t what ultimately drove the decision.
The decision to do a ceremony came from the time of our “slot” at the church. When we secured our date, almost 14 months before the wedding, all of the afternoon times had been taken and the only time remaining was 6:30PM.*
Miss Mink, Charlottesville, VirginiaAge and Occupation: 34, College AdministratorFiance's Age and Occupation: 40, Craft Beer ConsultantEngagement Date: November 26, 2010Wedding Date: June 2012Venue: Pippin Hill Farm & VineyardsAbout Me: I left a pre-war brownstone in Boston six years ago to live in a funky, Southern city where Thomas Jefferson, Dave Matthews, and urban chicken keepers enjoy equal social standing. I still love my Patriots and Red Sox, but have fallen in love with Virginia. I work in education and specialize in integrating technology into my work to improve the student experience. I’m a diehard blogger, animal lover, jamband follower, and DIYer. I paint to relax and have transferred by energy from home projects to wedding projects in recent months. When Mr. Mink and I started talking about marriage, we knew our wedding would be outdoors, that my golden retriever would be part of the day, and that the music would be fantastic. We’ve taken a few risks during our planning process and we’ve been enjoying the process immensely!
The rituals that symbolize the joining of two people always seem lovely when I see them in weddings. Now that we’re planning our own wedding, those rituals don’t feel “right” to me.
A few months ago, I started hearing about alternatives to the traditional unity candle. I first thought the alternatives were weird, but a few started to grow on me.
There’s the pouring of sand, which has become so popular that companies are making special vessels for the sand.
Miss Hawk, Richmond, VAAge and Occupation: 26, FinanceFiance's Age and Occupation: 30, District SupervisorEngagement Date: March 13, 2011Wedding Date: May 2012Venue: The Chapel of the Sir Christopher Wren Building, 2007 Legacy HallAbout Me: I’m an Arizona-born girl who has spent the majority of my life living below the Mason-Dixon line. The South has definitely earned a special place in my heart (alongside my Virginia born and bred fiance, of course!). We are planning a traditional Christian ceremony at my alma mater in historic Williamsburg, Virginia, followed by a rocking reception filled with Southern cooking and vintage/shabby chic details. When we’re not wedding planning, we enjoy spending time with our three dogs, going for runs together, watching plenty of football (or baseball depending on the season), and sampling new wine.
One reason I think Mr. Hawk and I work together is our shared common beliefs when it comes to religion. Both of us grew up in families where faith and Christianity were an integral part of our upbringing. So having a traditional Christian ceremony in a church was a no-brainer. The difficulty was who would officiate?
Miss Elk, City: Syracuse/Long IslandAge and Occupation: 25, Medical StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Computer EngineerEngagement Date: November 22, 2010Wedding Date: May 2012Venue: The Old Field Club About Me: I’m a Long Island girl finishing my last year of medical school in western NY, on the road to becoming a pediatrician. When I’m not studying or sleeping at the hospital, I spend my free time watching bad TV (Vampire Diaries anyone?), playing with my pooch, singing incredibly off-key (to the annoyance of Mr. Elk ), and reading Harry Potter for the zillionth time. Mr. Elk and I are planning a secular wedding infused with both Irish and cultural Jewish traditions. Only a week after I become an M.D., I will get my Mrs. degree, too!
For those of you not up on the Jew lingo, a chuppah is a wedding canopy, under which a couple marries. It is there to symbolize the home a couple will build together as newlyweds, and moreover it is gorgeous! Good symbolism and prettiness? I can definitely get behind this tradition! When I first started thinking about a chuppah for our wedding, I fell in love with something like this:
Miss Elk, City: Syracuse/Long IslandAge and Occupation: 25, Medical StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Computer EngineerEngagement Date: November 22, 2010Wedding Date: May 2012Venue: The Old Field Club About Me: I’m a Long Island girl finishing my last year of medical school in western NY, on the road to becoming a pediatrician. When I’m not studying or sleeping at the hospital, I spend my free time watching bad TV (Vampire Diaries anyone?), playing with my pooch, singing incredibly off-key (to the annoyance of Mr. Elk ), and reading Harry Potter for the zillionth time. Mr. Elk and I are planning a secular wedding infused with both Irish and cultural Jewish traditions. Only a week after I become an M.D., I will get my Mrs. degree, too!
Another Jewish wedding tradition is the Ketubah.For those of you who do not know, a Ketubah is the Jewish marriage license signed prior to the ceremony.It is usually gorgeous, a la these fab creations:
Miss Elk, City: Syracuse/Long IslandAge and Occupation: 25, Medical StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Computer EngineerEngagement Date: November 22, 2010Wedding Date: May 2012Venue: The Old Field Club About Me: I’m a Long Island girl finishing my last year of medical school in western NY, on the road to becoming a pediatrician. When I’m not studying or sleeping at the hospital, I spend my free time watching bad TV (Vampire Diaries anyone?), playing with my pooch, singing incredibly off-key (to the annoyance of Mr. Elk ), and reading Harry Potter for the zillionth time. Mr. Elk and I are planning a secular wedding infused with both Irish and cultural Jewish traditions. Only a week after I become an M.D., I will get my Mrs. degree, too!
After getting engaged, one of the first things I did besides freak out was turn to Mr. Elk and say, “So, we are having a secular ceremony, right?”
I know this may not be a polite topic to discuss, but seeing that religion plays a major part in most weddings, I feel the need to explain why there will be an obvious lack of religion at ours.
You see, I was raised Jewish and Mr. Elk was raised Catholic. I went to Hebrew school and was bat mitzvahed (though sadly mine was neither spooky nor scary—props to anyone who gets this reference!), and Mr. Elk went to church every Sunday with his fresh-off-the-boat Irish parents. Although neither of our families is uber religious, we were both fairly immersed in our respective religions for most of our childhoods. Although true, the religion thing never really stuck for either of us. We both agree that we do not want religion to be a part of our lives as a family, so it seems only natural that we not include religion in the day we become a family unit.
Miss Fox, Washington DC/Havre de Grace, MDAge and Occupation: 26, Massage TherapistFiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Field Support EngineerEngagement Date: April 18, 2010Wedding Date: June 2012Venue: Vandiver InnAbout Me: I’m a dancer turned massage therapist who was born and raised in New York. Alas, true love has brought me “south” where I still maintain my penchants for pretty shoes, wine, crossword puzzles, cherry blossoms, and the Mets. I own more sunglasses than a normal person should and don’t eat red meat (though I make up for it by eating my weight in sushi). I tend to be a big planner who likes to get things started early, but generally end up being indecisive and procrastinating when it comes down to it. I have a (not so) secret crush on Chris Carrabba, but my loyalty and love ultimately goes to the future hubs, of course! Together, my Foxy man and I love to discuss (read: debate) politics and current events, have Mario Kart and Scrabble duels, and just laugh. A lot. We’re hoping and planning for a laid back, fun, summery, rustic vibe to our June wedding that will be genuinely “us” – that is, if we finally make some decisions. Huzzah!
Heads up: this post is sort of piggy-backing on my second post.
The fact is, I am coming to terms with my religion right now, and Mr. Foxy is an athiest (not agnostic).
Getting married in a church just wouldn’t make any sense for either of us. Religion was a huge part of my childhood (and I am determind to make it a part of our future children’s, as well), but I am a different person now than I was then. I also wouldn’t feel right “making” Foxy get married in such a way that he’s uncomfortable with the whole thing…it just doesn’t make sense.
Mrs. Cannon, Toledo, OHAge and Occupation: 27, Financial AnalystFiance's Age and Occupation: 28, AssemblerEngagement Date: February 28, 2011Wedding Date: September 2011Venue: Epworth UMC & Ward PavilionAbout Me: I'm the curious combination of being a go-with-the-flow, laid back, obsessive planner. I try desperately to stay as busy as possible at all times (and am succeeding big time right now!) My biggest loves in life are Law & Order: SVU, Community (the show, not the concept, although I like that, too), ice cream, white cheddar popcorn, beer, hiking, knitting, decorating, writing, being outside, spending time with friends and family and musical theater. Mr. Cannon is pretty sweet, too. We've had a lot of fun traveling and having adventures all over the country, but have finally moved back near our hometown to settle down. We're planning a low-key, colorful, fun wedding and an awesome-to-the-max reception.
Despite my nervousness at meeting with vendors, I was totally cool about meeting with our pastor. He’s very nice, laid back, and non-judgmental, and on top of that we had already had a similar meeting when we were preparing for our daughter’s baptism.
Speaking of Cherry Bomb, we made a huge mistake by bringing her to the meeting with us.
Mrs. Cannon, Toledo, OHAge and Occupation: 27, Financial AnalystFiance's Age and Occupation: 28, AssemblerEngagement Date: February 28, 2011Wedding Date: September 2011Venue: Epworth UMC & Ward PavilionAbout Me: I'm the curious combination of being a go-with-the-flow, laid back, obsessive planner. I try desperately to stay as busy as possible at all times (and am succeeding big time right now!) My biggest loves in life are Law & Order: SVU, Community (the show, not the concept, although I like that, too), ice cream, white cheddar popcorn, beer, hiking, knitting, decorating, writing, being outside, spending time with friends and family and musical theater. Mr. Cannon is pretty sweet, too. We've had a lot of fun traveling and having adventures all over the country, but have finally moved back near our hometown to settle down. We're planning a low-key, colorful, fun wedding and an awesome-to-the-max reception.
Mr. Cannon and I were both raised Christian. I am United Methodist. We went to church every Sunday growing up, and I was baptized and confirmed. Mr. Cannon is Catholic. In addition to going to church every Sunday growing up, he also did K–8 at Catholic school. He was baptized and confirmed and did first communion. When we first started dating we didn’t attend church very often, and when we moved out west, we became Easter and Christmas attendees, switching between Catholic and United Methodist Churches.
I won’t speak for Mr. Cannon, but my faith in God has ebbed and flowed over the years. Sometimes I feel very close to Him, sometimes I just can’t seem to believe as I should (or feel I should). But, for various reasons, I have gained more faith as I grow older. The older I get, the more easily I accept that I don’t have all the answers. Having a child has helped me embrace the idea of God’s fatherly love for us, and the parent-child relationship in my own life has changed my understanding of my parent-child relationship with God. I still struggle with things, but I feel much more comfortable in my belief now.
Mr. Cannon and I both feel that the religious aspects of our childhoods had positive effects on us, so when we moved back to Ohio it was important to us to start attending church regularly and to get Cherry Bomb baptized. I looked into a few different churches and decided to give Epworth United Methodist a shot (based mostly on their website). I really enjoyed it. There were tons of service projects and I liked the pastoral staff. Mr. Cannon attended with me and he really liked it as well. He started referring to it as “our church.” I became a member. We got Cherry Bomb baptized there. And when we got engaged, we knew we would get married there.
Mrs. High Wire, DallasAge and Occupation: 23, Legal AssistantFiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Director of CommunicationsEngagement Date: October 9, 2010Wedding Date: September 2011Venue: Clark GardensAbout Me: My loves include yoga, anything spicy, our eccentric cat, our rambunctious dog, and Mr. High Wire, of course! Like the steadiness act of the tightrope walker, this gal is busy balancing life while planning a wedding to the man of her dreams. We’re hosting a laid-back, vintage-inspired, bird themed wedding with heavy doses of love, good eats (did someone say tacos and margaritas?), and endless Texas charm. Mr. High Wire and I are so happy to have you along for the walk across the tight rope.
I haven’t touched on this too much, but Mr. High Wire and I are not from the same religion. For some families, this can become a hot-button issue, especially when planning a wedding. What type of ceremony will you have? Who will be officiating? Will the marriage be religiously recognized? These are weighty, emotionally charged questions that can turn an otherwise pleasant planning experience into a nightmare, with lots of hurt feelings and devastated relatives.
My grandmother has been our next-door neighbor for the past two years, and it has been wonderful to be close to her and learn some of the vast wisdom that she’s acquired over the last 86 years. She has also been the matriarchal anchor for our family for my whole life.
Mrs. Snow Cone, Pittsburgh/Johnstown, PAAge and Occupation: 23, Public Health Graduate StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 23, EngineerEngagement Date: April 9, 2010Wedding Date: August 2011Venue: OMOS Church ceremony/Sunnehanna Country Club receptionAbout Me: I’m one of the lucky ones---I met my future husband at the ripe old age of 13, started dating him as a mature woman of 15, and have been enjoying the ride ever since. Here we are, 8 years later, living in Pittsburgh, planning a "homestination" wedding in the place our school romance began---Johnstown, PA. I thrive on talking a mile a minute, eating my weight in chocolate, and internet shopping. I love a lengthy to-do list almost as much as I love a healthy amount of chaos in my life. Mr. Snow Cone and I watch countless episodes of Friends and The West Wing on repeat, root for rival college sports teams, and make each other laugh each and every day. We’re putting together a small-town wedding with a big personality and a classically modern (or modernly classic?) look for 250 of our closest family and friends. It’s been 8+ years in the making, and sometimes I still can’t believe I’m finally getting to marry my high school sweetheart!
Like many couples getting married in a Catholic wedding, we have a “Catholic gap” on our hands. For those of you unfamiliar with this term, let me break it down for you. Our wedding is slated to begin in the early afternoon (1:00 PM), but our cocktail hour doesn’t start until 5:00. Even with a lengthy ceremony, receiving line, and photos at the church, we still have a decent amount of time on our hands before we can kick off the reception festivities. Some other couples facing a Catholic gap may utilize that downtime to travel from ceremony to reception site, especially if the two locations are a hefty distance from each other. That’s not really the case for us.
Mrs. Funnel Cake, Zürich, Switzerland/Columbus, OhioAge and Occupation: 24, Visual Communication DesignerFiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Application EngineerEngagement Date: May 30, 2010Wedding Date: October 2011Venue: Catholic church followed by a botanical conservatoryAbout Me: I'm an American designer who moved to Switzerland for love after a fairytale beginning at the top of the Eiffel Tower. I love travel, photography, museums, learning German so I can speak with my mother-in-law, cooking (eating), cuddling, and I'm not afraid to try something new even if it terrifies me. My Swiss/Brazilian man and I are both down to earth people planning a traditional Catholic wedding in my hometown with some quirky cultural exceptions to reflect our different backgrounds. We look forward to celebrating with friends and family from all over the world in a classic, sophisticated fusion of heritage and love.
I thought the priest was going to make me cry in the first 20 minutes of our interview. Not a good sign? I thought originally it would be a meeting, but in reality it really was more like an interview. Father John was tough, honest, and brutally frank.
Our first question as we sat down to talk was which parish did we go to, because it obviously isn’t the English mission. OK, next questions went something like this:
What is the name of the pastor at “our church”?
We don’t know, to be honest.
How many times had we been there in the last year? Be honest, was it less than ten?
Yes.
You know that there are 52 weeks a year, plus the holy days, advent, and Lent—that’s around 70 church days of the year, and you go to less than 10 of them.
Mrs. Funnel Cake, Zürich, Switzerland/Columbus, OhioAge and Occupation: 24, Visual Communication DesignerFiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Application EngineerEngagement Date: May 30, 2010Wedding Date: October 2011Venue: Catholic church followed by a botanical conservatoryAbout Me: I'm an American designer who moved to Switzerland for love after a fairytale beginning at the top of the Eiffel Tower. I love travel, photography, museums, learning German so I can speak with my mother-in-law, cooking (eating), cuddling, and I'm not afraid to try something new even if it terrifies me. My Swiss/Brazilian man and I are both down to earth people planning a traditional Catholic wedding in my hometown with some quirky cultural exceptions to reflect our different backgrounds. We look forward to celebrating with friends and family from all over the world in a classic, sophisticated fusion of heritage and love.
Back in February, Mr. Funnel Cake and I were preparing to meet a priest in the evening to try and set up our marriage-preparation course here in Zürich. These kind of courses are required all over the world by anyone wishing to get married in the Catholic church, and it is no different for us, despite the fact that we are planning the wedding in my hometown church in America.
Mrs. Hyena, College Station, TXAge and Occupation: 23, Marketing SpecialistFiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Aerospace Engineering Grad StudentEngagement Date: January 8, 2010Wedding Date: May 2011Venue: Downtown 202About Me: I'm a Texas girl who met my future hubby in high school, then headed up to Oklahoma for a college education (BOOMER SOONER!) before moving back to the Lone Star State to be with him. I love reading and recycling, Photoshop and reality TV, making lame jokes and then laughing at them, quoting movies, and Mr. Hyena most of all. I'm perpetually early and I like to get things accomplished. When my cat meows at me, I meow back. We're planning a laid-back, unintentionally DIY wedding with a cocktail-party vibe, and can't wait to celebrate our nuptials with our nearest and dearest!
Where we left off, I was panicking about not finding a church to get married in. Months had passed, but it all worked out in the end because we found it.
View of the sanctuary (personal bad-quality iPhone photo)
All-Inclusion Invitation Suites
Image via Sukkah Soul
Image via Etsy seller ketubahkraft
