Miss Palm Tree, Pittsburgh, PAAge and Occupation: 23, Lease AnalystFiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Associate Systems AnalystEngagement Date: December 22, 2011Wedding Date: May 2013Venue: The Fez in Aliquippa, PAAbout Me: I’m Miss Palm Tree - an opinionated, loyal and outgoing bride-to-be. I currently work as a Lease Analyst by day and a catering assistant by night. Mr. Palm Tree is a Computer Engineer with a love for all things cats. Mr. Palm Tree and I are absolute soul mates. Having grown up across the street from each other (I have the scars to prove it), we have been a part of each other’s lives for almost as long as we can remember. We are far from perfect: we fight, we get annoyed with each other and we certainly take advantage of knowing one another so well when pushed to the edge, but ultimately, what truly defines us as a couple is our love.
I think I’m losing my mind, so just be aware that it’s entirely possible I’ll start talking/writing like a a loon. With less than three weeks to go, a minor list of to-dos, an incredibly packed work schedule, and an even more packed personal schedule that doesn’t really lend itself to food, water, and/or sleep, I’m just going to exist in a permanent state of delusion. That’s OK, though, because it will all be so worth it. I just wanted to give fair warning to all.
Anyway, hive, it’s here: the Palm Tree RSVP breakdown. I’ve always loved these posts from other bees, and the type-A nerd in me loves to see things categorized so neatly.
We invited 226 people (93 invitations), in the hope that about 200 would show. Our total guest count is 186.
Mrs. Lemur, Greenville, South CarolinaAge and Occupation: 22, Graduate StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 22, Security OfficerEngagement Date: October 9, 2012Wedding Date: May 2013Venue: Pleasant Ridge Camp & Retreat CenterAbout Me: I may fancy myself a doctor after too many episodes of House—but in reality I'm finally almost done with my degree in business administration (less than three months left!). My fiance and I met at school in undergrad hundreds of miles away from either of our hometowns and have been happily running and hiking together ever since. We're undertaking a long distance relationship as I finish school and we plan our casual wedding for a day after graduation—needless to say, it will be the busiest and most exciting weekend of our lives so far!
Hive, we’re three weeks out from the wedding tomorrow, and I have something really, really big I haven’t done. Something really important. That I really shouldn’t be putting off.
That thing is to figure out who all is coming to this party.
I haven’t gotten a ton of RSVPs—maybe 30%? Plus another 20% or so who I know are coming or who have said they’re coming. That leaves…a lot of people.
Part of this may be my fault. Remember my invitation with the online RSVP on the back of the card? There have been a fair amount of people who have left the picture on the card and not slid it off to see that there’s a back side. What I don’t understand is the people who ask questions, I refer them to the website, and they’re like “Oh, there’s a back to the card!” and then they still don’t RSVP.
I promise to always RSVP to every single event from here forward.
I know Miss Otter just posted about her RSVP drama so…I’ll just add to that post by saying &@*(@^#^. (That’s as close to swearing as I’ll get…but seriously!)
Mrs. Otter, Indianapolis, INAge and Occupation: 22, Freelance Social Media ConsultantFiance's Age and Occupation: 23, CVS Shift SupervisorEngagement Date: November 11, 2011Wedding Date: April 2013Venue: Mustard Seed GardensAbout Me: I'm a born and raised Hoosier girl, but a diehard Michigan Wolverines fan. I have a tendency to take too many photos and spend full days having TV marathons. Mr. Otter and I met in high school, started dating a couple years later, and moved in after a month of being official. He is easygoing and makes plans on a whim, while I'm color coordinating my planner and organizing everything in sight. He hates glitter, but it's my favorite thing. I have tattoos and he still won't get one, despite my attempts to convince him. We're planning a small, rustic, and (hopefully!) peony-filled wedding to get our married life started. (And yes, there will be glitter involved!)
Oh, weddings. While intended to be days full of love and celebration, weddings bring out the crazy in people. It seems that even the most sane of people go totally off the rails in the months leading up to a wedding. While I’ve touched on the crazy before (and no, I’m not linking—I want to pretend these things never happened!), today I’m talking about those things. Yes, the RSVPs.
Let me tell you something about RSVPs—I never knew they were so complicated! I thought you receive an invitation, you look at your calendar, perhaps take a few other steps like talking to your place of employment and family members, and then you respond if you will or will not be attending. Oh, hive, let’s all laugh together at how wrong I was!
Personal photo / You see! I was excited to send these!
Mrs. Sword, ChicagoAge and Occupation: 28, Nanny/ActressFiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Software EngineerEngagement Date: February 19, 2012Wedding Date: March 2013Venue: Embassy Suites Bloomington West in Bloomington, MNAbout Me: I am a true girly-girl originally from the great state of Minnesota and my fiancé hails from the beautiful country of Scotland. We met and fell in love in our favorite city, Chicago, and are having a blast blending our cultures for "A Highland Fairy Tale" wedding! We are truly a case of opposites attract in that he’s a world traveling introvert and I’m a social butterfly who is never too far from home. We both love hanging out with family and friends, fine dining, and laughing at ourselves. He drinks a lot of beer and I talk too much. We wouldn’t have it any other way!
Since Mr. Sword is too scared busy to write a guest post, I am sharing this post on his behalf, but all of the information gathering and graph making done in preparation for said blog post is courtesy of the ever-cute, ever-Scottish, and ever-skinny Mr. Sword.
Awww! Isn’t he adorable in his kilt jacket?
I know everyone loves to see a good breakdown of the guest list and how many people are attending or not attending, and I’m no different. Except instead of just breaking it down by family and friends of the bride or the groom, I think, especially in our case, it’s equally if not more interesting to look at the breakdown by in state, out of state, and out of country.
Mrs. Sword, ChicagoAge and Occupation: 28, Nanny/ActressFiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Software EngineerEngagement Date: February 19, 2012Wedding Date: March 2013Venue: Embassy Suites Bloomington West in Bloomington, MNAbout Me: I am a true girly-girl originally from the great state of Minnesota and my fiancé hails from the beautiful country of Scotland. We met and fell in love in our favorite city, Chicago, and are having a blast blending our cultures for "A Highland Fairy Tale" wedding! We are truly a case of opposites attract in that he’s a world traveling introvert and I’m a social butterfly who is never too far from home. We both love hanging out with family and friends, fine dining, and laughing at ourselves. He drinks a lot of beer and I talk too much. We wouldn’t have it any other way!
It started off like any other trip to the PO Box. Since Mr. Sword has been traveling for work every week, I’ve been doing all of the heavy lifting and car loading and unloading of wedding related packages. That said, it’s hard to complain about receiving lots of great packages and letters, and on this particular day I had SIX boxes to bring into the apartment and a handful of letters. Immediately after unloading I wanted to begin opening the packages (obvs) but something caught my eye in the stack of mail, it was a letter from the UK.
Now it’s not unusual for us to receive mail or cards from the UK (hello Scottish fiance) so at first I set it aside, eager to open everything else. But something made me do a double-take. This letter was special. It looked different, regal, important. My heart began pounding and a scream left my mouth, “WILLIAM AND KATE SENT US A LETTER! OHHH MYYY GOSH OHMIGOSH! AHHHH!!!!”
Mrs. Sword, ChicagoAge and Occupation: 28, Nanny/ActressFiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Software EngineerEngagement Date: February 19, 2012Wedding Date: March 2013Venue: Embassy Suites Bloomington West in Bloomington, MNAbout Me: I am a true girly-girl originally from the great state of Minnesota and my fiancé hails from the beautiful country of Scotland. We met and fell in love in our favorite city, Chicago, and are having a blast blending our cultures for "A Highland Fairy Tale" wedding! We are truly a case of opposites attract in that he’s a world traveling introvert and I’m a social butterfly who is never too far from home. We both love hanging out with family and friends, fine dining, and laughing at ourselves. He drinks a lot of beer and I talk too much. We wouldn’t have it any other way!
When I first shared our Once Upon a Time invitations with the hive I talked briefly about my love of online RSVP’ing, but I figure it’s worth sharing my thoughts again and this time in more detail.
I have a confession to make, I placed a lot more importance on our RSVP deadline date than I originally thought I would. I ended up attaching some emotion to the RSVP waiting game and frankly, it’s not something I would recommend!
I have secretly been waiting for Jan. 15th for a while now; feeling beyond curious about who will be able to attend the wedding and who will not. I know many bees before me have written about their disappointment when certain family members or friends submit a “no” response, and I am here to commiserate with them. But I truly believe that everyone who is meant to be there will be there and the wedding day will be fantastic no matter what.
We chose a deadline early enough to give us plenty of time to track down the stragglers and to be certain that guests had ample time to make hotel reservations and flights. If most of your guests are in the same state/city, I wouldn’t think you need to know as far in advance as we do. I’m also anxious to have a real number in my head! For the past year when talking about our guest list it’s always been a range of numbers, like 110-150 or our best guess, 130ish? Soon enough, we will have a confirmed number.
Speaking of numbers, out of the 186 people invited, we have heard back from 129 of them with 102 folks attending and 27 declining. A great start! Since we are inviting a few families, I think it also makes sense to look at our guests as households or invitations. We sent out 86 invitations and have heard back from 63. Out of those 63 households, 50 have accepted and 13 have declined, with 23 households left unknown at this point.
While I love the idea of receiving the RSVP cards in the mail because it’s traditional and beautiful, I have to say going online with our RSVP system was one of the smartest decisions we made! I love the ease of it and the way it keeps track of everything for us. I can just log in and see our numbers quickly without counting or entering in information myself.
So imagine you are a guest invited to our Highland Fairy Tale wedding. Your first step is to type in our wedding website URL to find this home page.
After browsing our engagement photos and reading our proposal story, you’ll locate the “RSVP” tab on the left and click it. After which, you’ll see this: Read more…
Mrs. Coach, DallasAge and Occupation: 21, Undergraduate StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 23, Retail Sales/ManagementEngagement Date: October 14, 2011Wedding Date: October 2012Venue: Piazza in the VillageAbout Me: I was born and raised in the piney woods of East Texas, but Dallas has recently stolen my heart (along with Mr. Coach, of course!) I love classic rock, suspense novels, and my sweet Mini Aussie puppy, Memphis. My fiancé and I are planning a traditional wedding filled with romance, and we can’t wait to combine our own personal touches with a timeless affair. We’re young in years, but are also old souls that love good food and great music, and enjoy many things that are well before our time. We’re planning this wedding together, learning lots, and relying on good wine and reruns of Seinfeld to keep us sane along the way!
When I initially started working on our guest list, one of the big questions that came up was, “How many people that we invite will actually show up to this shindig?” Of course, when I turned to my trusted friend, Google, I found many contradicting answers. Some websites said to expect 10-20% guests to respond with a “no” while others insisted that your declined list would be closer to 40% of those that had been invited. However, something that I noticed as I jumped from page to page was that the number of total invited was significantly different for each of these statistics. If you are inviting 500 of your “closest” friends to your wedding, I’m sure you can expect the decline rate to look a little different than a guest list that includes only you, immediate family, and your BFFs.
So, while our number of guests that responded “no” actually fell somewhere in the middle of the numbers I found, I think it’s important to share our RSVP breakdown with you guys, because it could be similar to your experience, especially if your list of people to invite looks similar to ours. Or, our numbers could be the exact opposite of yours, and my stats would be totally irrelevant. Either way, the graphs are fun to look at
So, here’s the breakdown:
We invited a total of 135 people to our wedding, including the bride and groom.
Our maximum occupancy in the reception ballroom was 120, meaning I was praying to receive some “no’s”
Of those that were invited, 53% fell into the Bride’s family or friends categories.
Mrs. Treasure, ChicagoAge and Occupation: 24, Law StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Equity AnalystEngagement Date: July 30, 2011Wedding Date: September 2012Venue: Saint James Chapel at Quigley Prep/Murphy AuditoriumAbout Me: I was born and raised in Indiana, but now live in sweet home Chicago. I'm a third-year law student and aspiring trial lawyer, which means Mr. T never wins an argument. Other than Mr. T, I love singing, exploring the Chicago restaurant scene, and Notre Dame football. We met in a musical (just like my parents!) and after 4 years together, we are excited to be planning our urban "destination" wedding.
Mrs. Potion, Herndon, VAAge and Occupation: 23, ITFiance's Age and Occupation: 24, SalesEngagement Date: November 26, 2011Wedding Date: November 2012Venue: St. John’s Catholic Church / SpringHouse, Alexander City, ALAbout Me: We are two complete and total geeks that met at engineering camp, of all places, and after several years of being in love long-distance, we’re finally at the beginning of a lifetime together. We’re working with a modest budget to plan a long-distance wedding full of handmade details, Harry Potter references, and, most importantly, lots of love. I could spend an entire afternoon watching Food Network while shopping for shoes online, while he’d prefer to pwn some n00bs on Halo while blasting Deadmau5 on his stereo. I taught him how to swing dance and he taught me to appreciate Tolkien; he introduced me to LOST and I introduced him to the BBC’s Sherlock. I’m a Gryffindor, he’s a Ravenclaw, and we can spend hours discussing and debating the finer points of Rowling’s masterpiece. We’re so excited to be setting out on this adventure and I can’t wait to share all the details with you!
Mrs. Dragon, Sioux Lookout/Brockville, ONAge and Occupation: 24, JournalistFiance's Age and Occupation: 35, Graphic DesignerEngagement Date: August 22, 2011Wedding Date: September 2012Venue: Mother of the Bride’s ResidenceAbout Me: I moved to Northern Ontario for a job, expecting to be single for the year I'd be there. Within one month I was dating a co-worker, and now, more than two years later, we’re planning a wedding and I’m still a Northern girl. I’m a reporter and a photographer for a small-town newspaper, and I get to do all kinds of fun, exciting, and sometimes weird things at work. When I’m not getting the scoop, I’m cooking, adventuring, playing with our three black cats, or blogging.
To start with, our final original invite* count was 51 invited guests. We ended up giving out more plus-ones than we originally thought because we lost a few intended guests along the way.
Here’s how our invites broke down:
Mr. D had more invites going out to his peeps, with 28 groom’s guests and 17 bride’s guests invited.
Miss Cauldron, New York City/AustinAge and Occupation: 33, Human ResourcesFiance's Age and Occupation: 33, TechnologyEngagement Date: October 8, 2011Wedding Date: September 2012Venue: Pecan Grove at the Salt LickAbout Me: I grew up in the Lone Star State, but moved to NYC after college to get a taste of the Big Apple, and never left. I love baking, yoga, Mr. C, and sunshine (not necessarily in that order)! Mr. C and I met on Match.com back in 2007, and our second date was at a Texas barbecue restaurant in Manhattan. It’s only fitting that after almost five years together, we are getting married at an iconic Texas barbecue joint. (Shiner Bock and brisket, anyone?) I’m proud of the life we have built together around our love for each other, Mr. C’s crazy dog Bosley, and fun sailing adventures on our boat, and I’m looking forward to celebrating our marriage at one seriously awesome party in September.
Miss Bracelet, Frankfurt, Germany/Rapid City, SDAge and Occupation: 26, Post-Graduate StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Electrical Engineering Student/ Ex-Navy Cal TechEngagement Date: May 11, 2011Wedding Date: September 2012Venue: Schloss Heiligenberg/ Spearfish Canyon LodgeAbout Me: I'm a half-American from Germany who fell in love with a wonderful guy from Montana. We met in Japan and have been in a LDR for most of our relationship. I love organizing so much that it could be my middle name (Post-Its, anyone?). I have a serious addiction to paper products and milk chocolate. My fiancé totally gets my tomboy-princess-combo personality and will bring me chocolate when I need a pick-me-up. After a legal ceremony in Germany, we're planning a down-to-earth (semi-destination) wedding with our friends and family in the US.
We have three weeks to go until our RSVP date, which we set one month before our wedding. Every other day a new RSVP arrives, and I thought I’d give y’all a peek behind the scenes as to how quickly responses come in.
We sent out a total of 93 invitations. We have received responses regarding the person’s/group’s attendance by about over half (large pie chart)—but less than half if you go by official RSVP card response (small pie chart).
Miss Bracelet, Frankfurt, Germany/Rapid City, SDAge and Occupation: 26, Post-Graduate StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Electrical Engineering Student/ Ex-Navy Cal TechEngagement Date: May 11, 2011Wedding Date: September 2012Venue: Schloss Heiligenberg/ Spearfish Canyon LodgeAbout Me: I'm a half-American from Germany who fell in love with a wonderful guy from Montana. We met in Japan and have been in a LDR for most of our relationship. I love organizing so much that it could be my middle name (Post-Its, anyone?). I have a serious addiction to paper products and milk chocolate. My fiancé totally gets my tomboy-princess-combo personality and will bring me chocolate when I need a pick-me-up. After a legal ceremony in Germany, we're planning a down-to-earth (semi-destination) wedding with our friends and family in the US.
Early on in planning our invitations, I set my heart on a beautiful, embossed return address. The fact that etiquette books told me that it’s “the most traditional” definitely helped point me in this direction. I made sure to check out other options before committing:
I didn’t find a stamp design that made me love it more than embossing, so I moved on. I scrapped the idea of wraps for the invitation because it felt too casual for me, but I might revisit them for the thank you notes. I also contacted our stationer about having her print the return address, but that would have added $80 per address (and we needed two). Even if we had chosen this route, I would have worried that we might not have had the right number of envelopes with the right return address should there be a second round of invites.
My embosser journey started with contacting the embosser companies’ customer services—I suspected that my German last name, which includes an umlaut, might create problems. I wrote an email to the embosser companies’ customer service. And I was right. My first inquiry was sent to Paper-Source (which was featured in a Martha Stewart Weddings magazine). They don’t do umlauts.
Next, I contacted Wilshire Graphic Press (webpage), which has received a lot of good feedback on the hive (see Mrs. Plum, Mrs. Lemon, and Mrs. Dahlia). They were more than happy to do umlauts for me! Cue happy dance! They have a great selection of styles as well as stock images, and they even do custom work if you send them a decent black & white file.
Miss Bracelet, Frankfurt, Germany/Rapid City, SDAge and Occupation: 26, Post-Graduate StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Electrical Engineering Student/ Ex-Navy Cal TechEngagement Date: May 11, 2011Wedding Date: September 2012Venue: Schloss Heiligenberg/ Spearfish Canyon LodgeAbout Me: I'm a half-American from Germany who fell in love with a wonderful guy from Montana. We met in Japan and have been in a LDR for most of our relationship. I love organizing so much that it could be my middle name (Post-Its, anyone?). I have a serious addiction to paper products and milk chocolate. My fiancé totally gets my tomboy-princess-combo personality and will bring me chocolate when I need a pick-me-up. After a legal ceremony in Germany, we're planning a down-to-earth (semi-destination) wedding with our friends and family in the US.
When it came to our RSVP envelopes, I decided to just print our return address on them. I completely understand the discussions about the etiquette of hand-addressing the main envelope, but not when it comes to the return envelope. I mean, come on, they’ll be sent back to the owner and be tossed, right?
As I wrote before, our whole invitation suite was color-coordinated so that it would match my turquoise envelopes (sigh, I love that color so!). “Designing” the RSVP envelope was pretty easy. I just fiddled around with the font sizing and placement a little bit to find the right balance. And this was the perfect opportunity to splurge—I broke down and bought Mrs Eaves. I’ve admired this font for so long and specifically requested it for our invitation design…so our envelopes are also printed with Edwardian and Mrs Eaves.
I used the black & white laser printer at my parents’. Before, I tried using my ink-jet printer, which left mysterious non-printing-related smears on any envelope but not on normal paper…and my parents’ color laser printer simply refused to accept envelopes. So I worked with our trusty black & white printer and hand fed it over 80 envelopes!
Miss Bracelet, Frankfurt, Germany/Rapid City, SDAge and Occupation: 26, Post-Graduate StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Electrical Engineering Student/ Ex-Navy Cal TechEngagement Date: May 11, 2011Wedding Date: September 2012Venue: Schloss Heiligenberg/ Spearfish Canyon LodgeAbout Me: I'm a half-American from Germany who fell in love with a wonderful guy from Montana. We met in Japan and have been in a LDR for most of our relationship. I love organizing so much that it could be my middle name (Post-Its, anyone?). I have a serious addiction to paper products and milk chocolate. My fiancé totally gets my tomboy-princess-combo personality and will bring me chocolate when I need a pick-me-up. After a legal ceremony in Germany, we're planning a down-to-earth (semi-destination) wedding with our friends and family in the US.
I think it’s amazing how much information is packed into so few lines:
RSVP deadline
names & attendance
menu choice
personal message
{personal photo}
RSVP Deadline
We set the date one month before our wedding. This should give us enough time to hunt down those famous stragglers without being too stressed about it.
I just wanted to give fair warning to all.
