Weddingbee

I have a confession to make.

Ever since our wedding, I have been a complete and utter emotional wreck. I thought maybe it was because I was coming down from the wedding planning high. Or perhaps it had to do with the stress of losing my job at 8:30 in the morning the day we returned from our honeymoon. Or quite possibly, it was a combination of the two.

But I had a feeling it was something else. Something felt really different.

Finally, today, I have an answer.

I have been using the generic form of Ortho-Tri Cyclen for years. It is called Tri-Sprintec - it comes in a yellowish blister pack and each week of pills is a different, darker shade of blue until the last week, which are white. Mr Corn and I have always joked that I am always my most emotional when I am on the dark blue pills.

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It’s time to make the babies! Okay, it’s not. It’s time to change the way I DON’T make babies. As sad as it makes me, watching my hard-working eggs give up month after month, I need new birth control. I know this has been blogged about previously, but I figured why not give the topic another spin.

I’ve been on the same birth control pill for nine years. That’s a freakin’ long time to put something hormonal into your body. Well, since I’ll probably be using another form of birth control with hormones, that’s not really what I was concerned about. I think I was lucky, no side effects of the pill when I took them. Maybe some of my weight gain has to do with it now, though. (Just fishing for other reasons I’m fun-sized.) Is it possible to have side effects nine years later? I dunno.

Anyway, I’m looking for a switch. I’d preferably want to be put on another pill, possibly a low-dose pill, although I’m not quite sure how it works. Also, I’d hate to have to spend a large amount of money on a new pill. I’ve heard there are different types, but the ones without generic pill options can be a real fund-wrecker. I don’t know what I’d like to do, to be honest. I’d really rather have something that you do once a day (or similar) instead of every time you feel like “getting down”, although I’d really rather just not use anything. Ugh.

What birth control do you recommend?

Okay, time for a break from picture posting… I got some real issues yo!

Phone conversation last weekend with mama peach

mama p: What did you eat for dinner today?

me: Uhh actually I didn’t eat anything because I was feeling kinda nauseous.

mama p: WHAT?! are you pregnant?

me: No no, calm down. Don’t worry I’m not.

mama p: No, that could be a sign of pregnancy!

me: No, really. I’m not pregnant, it’s just that my birth control pills (BCP) make me feel nauseous sometimes.

mama p: You take what??

*craaapppp*

-end scene-

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I know this may be a touchy subject, but as someone who has gone through it, I thought I should talk about this (even though I may get majorly flamed). As reader Laura commented in my Fire vs Comfort post, sometimes the sex in a relationship just wanes. Or is non-existent. I can agree with this, and actually say that ours is somewhat stagnant as well.

All relationships go through a span with less sex than in the early stages of the relationship. When you’re finally comfortable with your SO, things can get into a routine. There is nothing wrong with this, but it does happen to a lot of couples. Although the lack of sex may bother some (like me, for instance), I feel that it’s just part of the ebb and flow of a relationship. You can’t be raring to go all the time, can you?

Having spent every night with Mr. Kiwi for almost three years, sometimes we both just want to go to bed because we’re exhausted. A cuddle is good enough a lot of the time. It’s when one of us wants to perform, and the other says something along the lines of “Honey, I’m sleepy, maybe tomorrow,” that makes me wonder. Why? Because sometimes that “tomorrow” doesn’t come for a while.

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Recently I’ve heard about a lot of couples practicing a little bit of “re-abstinence” before the wedding. For couples who haven’t abstained before the engagement/marriage, they take a couple months off pre-wedding to kinda get the mystery back.

Now, although that sounds like a great idea, and I’d love to try it (heck, may even give it a whirl!) women have expressed their doubts. Since women are typically the less “randy” member of a couple, I can only imagine what some of the reactions from the men would be. Three to six months without any lovin’ in a previously active relationship would surely result in some tension and arguments.

When I brought up the idea to Mr. Kiwi he grinned and said, “Suuuure, honey. Whatever you want.” I think I saw a glint of disbelief, so I may impose this so-called abstinence just to prove how strong-willed I am. Ha Ha. Who is laughing NOW, Senor Kiwi? Kidding, of course- that’s not something he’d take lightly!

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Soooo to get myself ready, I just recently started taking birth control pills. It’s been about 4 days and so far I haven’t experienced any of the side effects, so that’s been good. A problem, however, has been that I have a hard time remembering to take it! Especially at the same time every day.

I decided I’d take mine at noon everyday, since 5 out of 7 days a week I’m always eyeing the clock at work for lunch time. I thought that it’d be easy to remember that way. But it’s actually been quite difficult! On the second day, we were going out for someone’s birthday and I almost left my pill at my desk. I had to run upstairs and take it before I went out. And then today! Today, I had a conference call (during my lunch hour!) and I didn’t remember until later, about 2pm. Gahhhhh, if I take it 2 hours late, is it really that big of a deal?

Anyhow yeah… I’m starting to get worried about future mishaps, especially when it will matter most! Maybe I should keep a string tied around my finger as a reminder…

Has anyone else have problems remembering to take the pill? Any tricks on how to remember better?

Okayyyyy, soooo I’ve been thinking about this for some time, but I was too embawased to bring it up on weddingbee… but Miss Kiwi’s post helped me muster up my courage and just talk about it (thanks Miss Kiwi!).

For the life of me I can’t remember where - I tried to google it but that just resulted in lots of naughty sites >_< - but a few months ago I read that 60% of couples end up NOT having sex on their wedding night. That’s more than half!! For me, when I read that I was like, wwhhhhaaatttt?! This was such a shock to me because this is one of the things I’m quite looking forward to. Why? Because…*breathe* here goes… I’m a virgin (yep, and darn proud of it too! ahaha).

Mainly because of religious beliefs, Mr. Peach and I are waiting until we get married… so our first night will indeed be our FIRST night (for both of us). I’ve read the stats and have been hearing things like “Yeah, we were just so tired, we just passed out” and yada yada yada. So I’ve been thinking… should I just not have expectations for that night and almost expect it to happen the next morning? I guess we’ve waited 7 years, so what’s one more night… but stillllll! I kinda feel like there is only one real FIRST night as a married couple (and this goes for everyone whether they’ve had sex before or not).

So my question to you is this: Have you talked with your fiance about expectations of the first night?

I wonder if the mystery and allure of the “first night together” has gone the way of 8 tracks and pet rocks - the age of excitement over the first time together has passed for a lot of us. In the past, wedding night lingerie consisted of teddys, negligees and silk. It was all about being pleasing to the eye of the new hubby, because this would be the first time he’d see you in all your nude glory- and the women wanted to look good!

Now, more couples are living together before marriage, and most likely than not, sex is a part of that. When Mr. Kiwi and I first started dating, I wore the push up bras, sexy undies and garter belts. But once we began living together though, I started leaning more towards the comfortable cotton and soft jersey materials, letting the lacy and the string-like stay towards the back of my drawer.

I always thought my wedding night would be an extravaganza of silk, satin and lace, but was shocked when I realized I wanted to be comfortable, not pinched by wires and things. Sadly, I plan on wearing a corset so I can squeeze myself some hips, not to be sexy.

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Mrs. Bee posted earlier last week asking “How often do you have sex?” Now I want pry a little more into your bedroom and ask what form of birth control you use or plan on using after marriage. The reason why I’m curious is I know a disproportionate amount of “almost doctors” who aren’t on “the pill.” These are educated women who are using no form of contraception (I won’t go into details). So, since the ice has been broken on this topic, let’s take the polls.

Mrs. Bee here.

Reader Annie left this comment on the last reader buzz, and for some reason, it cracked me up:

I’m relatively new to weddingbee, so i don’t know all the rules. Is there a reason why you almost never talk about sex? I always thought it was a huge topic in marriage, like the whole saving yourself til honeymoon, a reason why people divorce, ways to keep the relationship hot. Is it because you want to keep the site PG or that some of your moms/relatives/churchgoing friends read this?

Yes Annie, my mom does read this site, but that doesn’t really affect whether or not we talk about sex. And while we may not have talked about sex as extensively in the past, you’re right - it should be a regular topic of conversation here on weddingbee.

So let’s dive right into it with a poll.