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The Dollar Dance, AKA Money Dance, is a tradition that some people love, some people hate, and some people have never heard of. It’s when the bride and groom prostitute themselves as dance partners to their guests in exchange for dollars.
Personal pic
I wasn’t sure which pics would go with this post, so I just chose a bunch of the Unicycles dancing!
You’re supposed to pay a dollar to dance with the bride or groom for a small amount of time, and the best man and maid of honor collect the money and let guests know when it’s their turn and when their turn is up. The tradition originated in Poland according to Wikipedia, and the money is supposed to go toward the couple’s honeymoon. Neither of us is even a little Polish, but I still find this tradition intriguing.
Sparks and I decided to go the traditional route and sleep in separate places the night before our wedding. So he stayed in our apartment, and I had to stay in our gorgeous hotel suite…DARN. I headed straight for the room after our welcome party and, honestly, that cab ride was a little nerve-racking for me. I’m not the kind of person who does well when all eyes are on me and, up until that point, Sparks had been constantly by my side taking on half of the attention. I started to have a minor panic attack when I thought about all the people who would be fussing over my hair, my makeup, my dress, etc. the next morning. So I did what any normal person would do: I had a glass of wine and distracted myself by working on my escort cards until two in the morning.
I know that might seem strange to some people, and I really can’t explain it—I was just SO nervous. I didn’t want to sit around having super-duper meaningful talks with anyone, I didn’t want to reminisce about my relationship with Sparks or my last night as a single Sparkler…I just wanted to not freak out. And I think that’s OK.
Before I wrote this, I actually gave myself a pretty hard time for ending the night that way. Maybe I should have had all my bridesmaids in the room for a sleepover, or maybe I should have stayed up all night talking with my sisters or writing Sparks a romantic letter. But that’s just not me. And it’s not what I needed. I needed to put my head down and work on 250 escort cards that I should have done weeks before. I just needed to be alone in my own thoughts for a nanosecond, and try to process what would happen the next day. And I don’t feel bad about it anymore.
So I mentioned two important things about our ceremony: 1) We aren’t writing our own vows and 2) we’re doing a wine-box ceremony.
Before becoming obsessed with all things wedding, the only ritual I knew of for a wedding ceremony was the unity candle. Then I stumbled into the glorious world of wedding blogging and learned about sand ceremonies, ring-warming ceremonies, handfastings, and oh my the list goes on. This was great for me since I have an irrational fear of setting my veil on fire.
I surprisingly could not find an appropriate image of a bride setting her veil on fire, so here is a very technical drawing by me showing you exactly how I imagine this playing out. Oh, and my husband-to-be is wearing a top hat because he thinks he’s Abe Lincoln.
Anyway, one of the lovely rituals I came across was the wine-box ceremony. As soon as I saw it I knew it would be perfect for us. After all, the dude and I are a couple of winos. Seriously, we can’t get enough of the stuff. Actually, we’re not that picky about the type of booze we drink, so I think we might just be drunks, but it makes you sound much more acceptable to people when you tell them you enjoy wine and the finer things in life.
This is kind of a Christmas story, but I figured with Valentine’s Day approaching it would be appropriate to share with all of you now.
This is the story of the love potato.
I think I may have mentioned before that the Coyotes are not an incredibly romantic couple. Mushy-gushy just isn’t our style, and most of our romantic attempts either seem forced or just backfire in our faces. (Remind me to tell you about The Great Valentine’s Debacle of 2010 one day…that’s a fun one.) Anyway, we like to keep it real and express our love in ways that might seem a bit strange to others.
That is true love, my friends. / (Personal photo)
Now a few years back we were celebrating Christmas Day with my family. Everyone was exchanging gifts and doing their thing when Mr. Coyote dumped a small, oddly wrapped gift in my lap. He seemed very excited about it and was grinning like a fool while I opened it. I have never, ever seen him act this way over a silly Christmas gift, so I was starting to feel a little suspicious. What in the hell was this thing, and why he was so freakin’ excited about it?
So what was this amazing gift that had my dude so giddy?
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All-Inclusion Invitation Suites
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One of the things I put on the backburner is our Ketubah. For those unfamiliar, a Ketubah, in essence, is a Jewish marriage contract. It’s the religious equivalent of that marriage license you wait on line for at city hall. Bonus points for there being no line to get this one!
With the invention of that thing called the interwebs there are now something along the lines of 209,323,095 resources available to find and purchase Ketubahs. There are tons of variations done by many different types of artists.
There’s the traditional:
Image via Ketubah.com
I’ve mentioned before that Mr. O only has very strong opinions about a few parts of the wedding. One of the strongest opinions he has is on the issue of the “first look.”
He isn’t a fan. He says that it is definitely NOT for us. For him, the moment that is the most important is when he sees his future wife walking down the aisle toward him. I understand where he is coming from…
But even some of the most traditional couples make the decision to do a first look. It enables the couple to enjoy their cocktail hour and helps to calm the nerves before the ceremony. So many smart bees have chosen to do it (Mrs. Brooch, Mrs. Knitting, Mrs. High Wire, Mrs. Eggs Benedict…I seriously could probably fill the rest of the post with bees who have done this, but you get the idea).
The reason I want to do a first look is a pretty silly one. You see, I’m a crier. Mr. O and I have turned it into a running joke between us, but really it is just a sad truth. I cry during commercials and sad songs, and when I see homeless people. Weird, I know. I’m going to cry now just thinking about it…just kidding.
I can’t help it, though. When commercials like this come on I instantly turn on the waterworks. Full on, ugly-cry style. I do it EVERY time (and I’ve probably seen this commercial about 8,763,123 times). Eventually I got smart and started changing the channel so I wouldn’t be a smeared-mascara mess every time I turned on the TV.
Video via YouTube
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
Or not to be traditional?
So many of the wedding “traditions” that have made their way into the American definition of a wedding are really more modern developments in wedding customs. As we’ve moved forward in this wedding planning process we’re finding ourselves having to make decisions about what traditions we want to include… and which ones we want to forgo.
Now, Mr. O and I don’t really see ourselves as the “traditional couple,” but at the end of the day it really just depends on which tradition we’re talking about and whether or not that tradition fits our personalities.
One tradition we will most definitely not be partaking in is the garter toss. Something about having Mr.O reach up my skirt while an entire crowd watches just doesn’t seem… kosher? I’ve seen this done tastefully at plenty of other weddings, but I guess it’s just not for us. We’re not by any means an anti-PDA (public display of affection) kind of couple, but I feel like I have to draw the line somewhere.
Whatever “floats your boat” I guess…we’ll save it for the honeymoon.
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| Via Nubia Photography / Photo by Nubia |
Another tradition Mr. O wants to skip that I kind of want to keep is the cake cutting.
Read more…
Although I love weddings, there are some things about weddings that I’m not the biggest fan of, and therefore will not include at my own nuptials. I thought I’d share my thoughts about those traditions that will not be making an appearance at our own wedding:
1. Cake Toppers
“The Love Pinch” via All Wedding AZ
While this is probably my favorite cake topper out there, we’re still not having one. It’s not that I don’t like cake toppers. I think most are adorable, especially with all of the options there are these days. It’s more that I don’t understand their purpose. Like why is there a little bride and groom on top of a cake? It doesn’t make ANY sense to me! Therefore, I don’t feel like wasting money/DIY time and energy to have one.
Read more…
I’m pretty in the middle about the bouquet/garter toss. It’s fun when the couple does decide to do it, but if they don’t, I certainly don’t miss it. One thing that bugs me about the toss is trying to get people on the floor; having to yell and convince people to get up there. Singling out the singles. There are the shy and single ones that just don’t want to participate and then remain in the back of the crowd (you need to make the catch!), there are the engaged folks who don’t need to participate but are persuaded somehow (you aren’t married yet!), and of course, there’s usually one or two that are actually dying to catch the bouquet or garter (just throw it directly at me!).
Here’s proof, from BM Scoot’s wedding a couple months ago. I was happily sitting with Mr. Honey when I got called out from across the room to join in with the toss, I declined more than once, but eventually made my way up and tried to stand in the back…then got pushed to the front of the crowd (because hey, “you are the next to get married, so you might as well catch the bouquet”) and was forced to compete with the one girl who really wanted and deserved the bouquet! And you see those 4 ladies behind me? They are all single, too. I felt bad that the bouquet got thrown at me, when I didn’t need it. I will admit, it’s a pretty funny action shot:
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| Image from BM Scoot’s wedding/Photo by Newell Jones & Jones Photography |
Ask any one of my family and close friends and they will most likely tell you that I’m a fairly traditional girl with classic taste. And while our wedding ceremony will be quite traditional, there are some traditions that we’ve decided to do without.
The Bouquet Toss
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| Photo by Aislinn Kate Photography |
For some reason, I’ve been against this idea from the start, and I’m not exactly sure why.
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The rituals that symbolize the joining of two people always seem lovely when I see them in weddings. Now that we’re planning our own wedding, those rituals don’t feel “right” to me.
The unity candle, probably the most popular wedding ritual these days, is actually a fairly new item. Wikipedia says unity candles might have only been around for about 30–40 years. That was a surprise to me. I’ve seen so many unity candles that I assumed they had been around for much longer.
A few months ago, I started hearing about alternatives to the traditional unity candle. I first thought the alternatives were weird, but a few started to grow on me.
There’s the pouring of sand, which has become so popular that companies are making special vessels for the sand.
As I’ve mentioned before, Mr. Elk’s parents are fresh-off-the-boat Irish immigrants who moved here in their 20s. (Note—gratuitous personal photos of our trip to Ireland)
No I am not pregnant, and no, Mr. Elk does not have an amputated right arm—TERRIBLE photo.
Another Jewish wedding tradition is the Ketubah. For those of you who do not know, a Ketubah is the Jewish marriage license signed prior to the ceremony. It is usually gorgeous, a la these fab creations:
Image via Etsy seller ketubahkraft
This past June, I got the heartbreaking news that my Grammy had passed away. She was a wonderful woman who I got much closer with as I got older—she was witty, funny, sharp, full of life. I visited her and my Grampy at least once a year since I was a kid, and I have boatloads of memories that include her. Her health was not the best, but she could always put on a happy face when company was around or when it was necessary. While I knew that she wouldn’t have been able to attend our wedding, I was at least hoping to show her some pictures and video from the day. While this is unfortunately no longer an option, I am forever so, so thankful that Mr. Foxy was able to meet her about two years ago when we went down for a quick weekend visit.
That being said, I was fortunate enough to be able to attend her memorial service down in Naples, Florida in early July, held at the church that she and my Grampy have been a part of for almost 20 years.
Foxy and I stayed at my grandparents’ condo with my my mom, step-dad, and uncle—definitely a full house for a two-bedroom place! Everyone had been chipping in and helping my Grampy sort things out since Grammy passed away, which included going through lots of old clothes, jewelry, books, and purses. Some were to be thrown out, some given away, some sold…and some were “up for grabs.”
In terms of purses/bags, my mom put two aside that she thought I might like for a certain special occasion (read: wedding).
So what did we decide to use as our sendoff something?
It’s a little bit like if you combined Spiderman and a kid’s birthday party.
+ 
Image via Gizmodo / Image via Life123
Crepe paper is the answer!
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