Recently, I blogged about the plot that our groomsmen had planned for Mr. Gardenia during his garter toss. It was definitely a memorable moment for all since it had everyone up their seats and just watching for that initial shocked look in Mr. Gardenia’s eyes. It’d be safe to say that Mr. Gardenia is the shy one – the introvert in our relationship - which is why he did not look forward to being the newlyweds, because it meant being the center of attention. With that said, his groomsmen knew that they had to do something hilarious just to get him comfortable during the garter toss.
Here’s the setup. I sat down after my bouquet toss and Mr. Gardenia got ready to search for the garter. Little did he know that one of our groomsmen came with one of the bridesmaid’s pashmina to use as a blind fold. Once Mr. Gardenia was blind folded, I switched seats with one of our other groomsmen (who apparently has smooth legs, maybe smoother than mine) and moved my gown closer to GM so that Mr. Gardenia wouldn’t get suspicious. I think Mr. Gardenia got up to mid-thigh when they finally told him to take off his blind fold, and as you can see from his reaction – it’s PRICELESS.
The past two Sundays, Mr. Hydrangea and I have begun to ask his family to participate in our wedding for all of the Hispanic traditions that will be incorporated into our wedding ceremony. Well, I should say they all talked and I more or less listened as they all spoke in Spanish. I can understand nearly everything, but have yet to work up the nerve to try to speak to his family. I get a little embarrassed and intimidated, which I’m hoping I’ll grow out of one of these days.
Because one of the couples that we wanted to ask to be in the ceremony lives in Mexico, we had to call them and ask them to be the Padrinos for the arras. Essentially this means that they will purchase the arras, or coins, that we will use in the ceremony. The arras are the 13 coins that the Padrinos bring up to the altar and hand to the groom. The groom then places these coins into the bride’s hands to symbolize his promise to support his new family.

I hope a sweet shade of blue on the toe nails will cover this one of the ’something ’something requirements, since much to Mr. Petunia’s dismay, I axed a garter long ago (along with its accompanying toss). I was going to do away with the tradition altogether, not being much of a superstitious gal in the first place and unsure of what I’d use for the something old, but I figure it’s best to get good luck on my side than against it. That, and my sweet MOH offered me her grandmother’s handkerchief (something borrowed, too).
Although I’m going a bit traditional and having both of my parents walk me down the aisle on my wedding day, I’m still not a big fan of the whole “who gives this woman” thing. I’m 27 — I’ll be 28 by the time we get married — and I don’t think I need to be “given away” by anyone. Our walk down the aisle will certainly mean a lot to me, but I feel that it is more symbolic of my love for my parents, their love for me, and their support of my relationship with Mr. Cupcake; it doesn’t need to be translated into me being handed over like an object. I’ve been a pretty independent person since going away to college, and I have lived away from my parents entirely since I was 22. I like to think that I am my own person who can stand on her own two feet without anyone else having to support me.
This weekend, while catching up on some episodes of “Brothers & Sisters” on my DVR, I happened to catch the episode where Calista Flockhart and Rob Lowe’s characters got married. After Sally Field walked her daughter down the aisle, the minister asked “who gives this woman?”, to which Sally Field proudly replied, “she gives herself freely, with my love and support.” What a perfect and appropriate reply for an independent woman of the twenty-first century!
I’ve never been the type of girl who’s clung much to tradition. Growing up, basically as a W.A.S.P. (who is now on Weddingbee - hehe), I didn’t have a lot of traditional stuff pressed upon me so, through most of the wedding planning so far, I haven’t felt like there’s been much that I’ve needed to take into consideration and I’ve just kind of done my own thing.
There was no pressure from family to have a certain kind of ceremony or a certain kind of meal or a certain kind of dress, so I didn’t feel any guilt about choosing to do a civil ceremony, a buffet dinner with an Ewok village cake or a dress made in a design of my choosing (still working on that!). However, sometimes reading about some of the stuff the other Bees are doing, I have to admit I’ve been a little envious. They’re so connected to their backgrounds and their heritage and I have had so much of that white washed out of me that it sometimes makes me a little sad to be so removed from mine.
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When it comes to wedding style, I consider myself somewhat traditional and classic in my taste. I don’t want to see Mr. Jasmine before the ceremony, I love hand-written notes, and I frequently consult Emily Post’s Guide to Etiquette. But that doesn’t mean I’m not making a few untraditional choices. Here are the two big ones:
On my wedding day, I did not have “something old” to wear with my “something new” or “something blue.” The Eggplant family just doesn’t have any of those neat little traditions that other families have, like old lockets or vintage necklaces that are passed down from generation to generation.
Well, on the morning of my wedding, my very thoughtful cousin gave me a sweet gift that will hopefully start a new tradition within our family.

In some cultures it is a tradition to have a money dance. I love the money dance, and it is culturally expected in Mr Butterscotch’s family. But we decided early on were not planning on doing a money dance. Personally I felt our guests had “spent” more than enough on us. Just having them at the wedding was really the best gift we could have asked for.
But we ended up having one, and I am so glad we did!
As we finished up our first dance, one of our groomsmen and his wife (who happens to be from the same culture as Mr Butterscotch) made an announcement that the money dance was next. At that point we were up for anything, so it sounded like fun!
Often, Hispanic Catholic weddings include the ritual of the arras, or unity coins, which the groom presents to the bride (I bet there are others cultures that do it, too, and I just don’t know about it: please excuse my ignorance and be sure to tell us who else incorporates this tradition!).
Arras consist of 13 gold coins. When the groom gives these to his bride, he’s symbolically saying that he will be there to provide for her. The number of coins is also significant: they represent Jesus Christ and the 12 apostles.
As you can probably guess from one of my last posts, as a now Jewish bride, I didn’t feel comfortable incorporating this tradition into my own wedding, but I do fondly remember that my oldest brother did, and I can appreciate how beautiful some of these coins and sets can be.

In my constant search for all things wedding, I have stumbled upon the tradition of the charm cake. I had never heard of it before, but from what I gather, it dates back to the Victorian era. It is sometimes referred to as ribbon pulling, and often takes place at the bridesmaids’ luncheon (though some websites suggested it be done at the reception right after the cake cutting). Read more…