Weddingbee

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I think it’s safe to say that it is proper etiquette to feed your vendors, particularly those who are providing 6+ hours of service for you. But beyond that, there seems to be some gray area: What to feed them? When to feed them? And where should they sit?

I’ll start with our story…
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Hello hive! It’s been a while. I apologize for being MIA. Mr. Eggplant and I have been really busy trying to sort out our housing situation at the moment. We are no longer purchasing the SF condo that we had planned on buying. There were some complications with the timing of the finished construction, our marriage date, and title issues. It’s a long and complicated story and I’ve been pretty bummed out about it lately. But I’m thankful that we still have a roof over our heads and two great jobs that provide more than we need for food on our table. Anyway, onto my post.

Mr. Eggplant and I were very blessed to have worked with some amazing vendors througout our wedding, including our photographers, Ray and Erwin of Apertura Photography. Both of them really went above and beyond in their service to us. We wanted to thank them with something extra special to show them how much we appreciated their friendship and professionalism.
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I don’t think it’s a secret that weddings are expensive. In fact, at www.costofwedding.com, you can enter your zip and come up with the average wedding cost in your city. For mine, it’s $35,140. Ouch.

When I got engaged, I knew that my budget would be a small fraction of the average wedding cost, so I immediately started scouring the internet and bridal magazines for cost-saving tips. It’s really ridiculous how many bridal magazines I’ve bought because the cover said “50 ways to save money on your wedding!!!” – and yet, how much have I spent on the bridal magazines??

From all my scouring, I found some good, consistent tips:

1. Get married off-season: approximately 70% of weddings are held between May and October – so from November to April, vendors will be more willing to negotiate prices.
2. Skip Saturday: since Saturdays are more popular, they usually have higher minimums and higher prices – opting for a Friday, Sunday, or even any other weekday, could save you significant coinage.
3. Cut down on guests: obviously, most prices are per person, so fewer people = fewer dollars spent. I didn’t have to tell you that.
4. Skip dinner: people like to be fed, but most would be perfectly happy munching on hors d’oeuvres all night. Hors d’oeuvres are cheaper than dinner, so why not?
5. Daylight wedding: just like Saturdays, evening weddings are the norm, so marrying earlier in the day can really cut costs – especially because, who eats dinner at 11 am?

Like I said – all great tips that I’ve heard again and again. But what happens when you want to get married in May, on a Saturday, with 130 guests, and a seated dinner in the evening???

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Weddings have many moving pieces. With all the contracts, details, and communication, there is a high chance for something to go wrong. Mr. Eggplant and I were incredibly selective with our vendors, choosing only the ones we knew would provide superior customer service. I made a point to confirm our vendor contracts in the week before the wedding.

Even so, some things simply fell through the cracks. Perhaps my error was confirming everything via email, where communication mistakes easily occur. During the wedding, I definitely let go of all the mishaps. But once we returned from our honeymoon, we began addressing the open issues.

With one vendor, we did not receive many of the items that were paid for in our contract. The company was (and still is) extremely reputable, receiving only the highest praise from people that have worked with them in the past. I enjoyed communicating with them during the planning process because they were always responsive and professional. I believe that our case was a one-off situation and might even recommend this vendor to others, pending resolution of our open issues. Reputable service-oriented companies will usually be more than willing to address any problems that a customer has with their products or services. Hopefully this will be the case with us!

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In recent weeks, I’ve received two sweet emails from wedding service providers that I’ve written about on the Bee. Both emails were from vendors thanking me for a positive review. One vendor (my makeup artist, Nam Vo) mentioned that she received many inquiries for her services after I posted my pictures. These vendors had never heard of Weddingbee, so I’m happy that they are now exposed to the wonderfulness of our little forum!

This also brings up the interesting topic of vendor referrals. As a bride-to-be exploring the unfamiliar world of wedding planning, I often feel like I’m Alice in Wonderland. Every aspect is foreign and requires tons of research. Where do I order candy for my candy buffet? How do I get things printed? What’s the proper wording for invitations? What is a reasonable price for everything?  Referrals from other brides and my own wedding vendors have been priceless through this process. Most of my vendors have been discovered through recommendations:

• Reception Hotel - Family friend hosted a wedding here
• Photographer - Photographed a friend’s wedding
• Cake - Neighborhood bakery
• Lighting - Referred by the reception hotel
• Music - Not sure, Mr. Eggplant found them first but they were also recommended by the hotel
• Flowers - Google search and mybayareawedding.com [this is the only vendor that we did not find through a referral]
• Officiant - Our pastor
• Printing Company - Referred by Mr. Eggplant’s coworker
• Makeup - I loved the artist’s work from another wedding
• Hair - Haven’t had my trial yet, but referred by makeup artist

I’ve often felt that brides have a disadvantage in a world of service providers charging sky-high prices and providing poor customer service. I’m begining to realize that we actually do have power in our voice. A bad review can draw business away from a vendor and also tarnish a reputation while good words can create more business. We actually have a big responsibility here in our forum!

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So we’re winding down and heading into three weeks before the big day. And I must say, I’m ready. All of this preparation, organization, minor ocd… but it’s been totally worth it thus far. I can now enjoy the rest of the weeks without having to worry about the diy programs, gifts, outfits, readings, timeline, etc. Us ladies who aren’t procrastinators should be applauded and not looked upon and called bridezillas.

We met with our hotel (guest accommodations) coordinator yesterday to finalize all of our blocked rooms, rates, the conference room we’re reserving, and any other special requests that we made for our guests. She’s been so very helpful and accommodating thoughout this whole wedding process. She’s been superb. She’s answered my twenty million questions and changes to our blocked hotel suites via email. Quick too! I love it when vendors reply back quickly! At the end of the appointment she mentioned that it was great that we were so organized - prepared with good questions. I guess she’s worked in the hospitality industry for awhile and it’s rare to see couples who are like this.

So **pat on the back Mr. and Miss Apple**. It felt so good to hear that.

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Korean DJ info
007 Entertainment
Seil Yang and his partner, Jeeyoung Kim. Mr. Yang can be reached at 201-376-7143. His email address is PGA0702@hotmail.com

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My earrings were purchased at a store called Managrove & NY located at the Garden State Plaza Mall in Paramus, NJ. They don’t have much on their website but I found tons of nice things at the store. If you are ever at the Garden State Mall in NJ, stop by and take a look and also, stop by the MAC counter at Nordstrom’s and say hi~!! I’m there most of the time.

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My cake was provided by the Rockleigh Country Club. The bakery is called La Promenade and is located in Tenafly, NJ. It is called . I never had the time to go for a cake tasting before the wedding, but the cake turned out beautifully and tasted great.

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My makeup artist was a close co-worker of mine, Evelyn Abanto. She did an amazing job. She has a private webpage on myspace. I’m currently trying to convert her to Xanga.

I just finished sending out an email to a bunch of important people here in Los Angeles, with the assumption that they will reply to me quite expeditiously. Billionaires, smooth talking politicians, and a whole lot of really busy people. And although I have no funds to offer them for their time, a few of them will volunteer 30 minutes of their time and we’ll chat like old pals.

Now then, if all of this craziness above can happen to little ‘ol me, why can’t a silly DJ or florist return my phone calls or emails?! The insanity of reaching these people who seem to be too busy to take my money from me is driving me up the wall of my tiny little studio… is it truly that hard to call people back? I think that’s why I’m completely in love with my photographer, simply because she calls and writes back with the greatest of ease and the sweetness of her heart. I want to chuck my phone at everyone else. Blegh.

Anyone else have a fun vendor rant they’d like to get off their chest? Come on… it’s Friday… let it all out!

I just started a management unit in graduate school on negotiations, and during the entire lecture and discussion on car prices and prom dates, I couldn’t stop thinking about flower prices! “What is my real bargaining zone on prices? What other information could I gather to make my negotiations better? What are my real alternatives if I don’t decide to go with my favorite florist?” (Have I shared the fact that I’m dodging voicemails from my florist until I answer my unsettled questions?? I can’t do this for too much longer!!!)

I suddenly realized how many people are completely unaware about the importance of negotiations prior to a wedding. For some, it’s like their first time at a flea market and they are forced to learn, accept and purchase goods according to the vendor’s terms. For others, it’s old hat, and they simply readjust their skills to fit the new market for goods and go merrily on their way. Just like buying a used car, for some the experience is pleasant and enjoyable while others dread it like the plague.

I’ll hopefully be able to draft up some basic negotiation tips (esp. those that apply to the wedding biz) in the next few weeks, but I’ll need your help bees! What scares you about negotiations and in what particular vendor areas???