Mrs. Pudding, Greater Toronto Area/VermontAge and Occupation: 26, High School TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Computer EngineerEngagement Date: August 2008Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall ReceptionAbout Me: Quite literally a citizen of the world, I was born in Poland, grew up in Canada, and now live in the beautiful state of Vermont. I love reading historical biographies, multi-tasking, teasing my hair, and, despite my height, wearing high heeled shoes. I am the ultimate klutz with an uncanny ability to put on a graceful front. Mr. Pudding and I have been dating for over six years, and are very excited to finally merge our (very large) families. We are planning a traditional Polish-Catholic wedding that is anything but predictable.
Well, you’ve all seen the cakes. Now it’s time to get this party started!
Some of the set up crew with the cakes. FMIL Pudding is in the middle.
On the morning of the shower, FMIL Pudding chased me out of the house so that her and “the crew” (her sisters and mom) could set up the house. In the meantime, I went to visit Mama and Sister Pudding at their hotel. We spent the morning eating in bed and generally bonding - I have missed just hanging out with them! We also prettified together, which in true Pudding Ladies fashion, made us half an hour late to my own shower… at least we made an entrance! Read more…
Mrs. Pudding, Greater Toronto Area/VermontAge and Occupation: 26, High School TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Computer EngineerEngagement Date: August 2008Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall ReceptionAbout Me: Quite literally a citizen of the world, I was born in Poland, grew up in Canada, and now live in the beautiful state of Vermont. I love reading historical biographies, multi-tasking, teasing my hair, and, despite my height, wearing high heeled shoes. I am the ultimate klutz with an uncanny ability to put on a graceful front. Mr. Pudding and I have been dating for over six years, and are very excited to finally merge our (very large) families. We are planning a traditional Polish-Catholic wedding that is anything but predictable.
A couple of weekends ago, FMIL Pudding threw me the most wonderful wedding shower. It was literally the sweetest shower ever - so sweet in fact, that I need to break up my recollection of the event into two posts in fear of spiking your blood sugar levels.
So, I want to start with the setup. As you know, the shower took the form of a cake tasting, since FMIL Pudding is baking our wedding cake. And let me just say: We ate cake! Don’t believe me? Take a look:
Mrs. Pudding, Greater Toronto Area/VermontAge and Occupation: 26, High School TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Computer EngineerEngagement Date: August 2008Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall ReceptionAbout Me: Quite literally a citizen of the world, I was born in Poland, grew up in Canada, and now live in the beautiful state of Vermont. I love reading historical biographies, multi-tasking, teasing my hair, and, despite my height, wearing high heeled shoes. I am the ultimate klutz with an uncanny ability to put on a graceful front. Mr. Pudding and I have been dating for over six years, and are very excited to finally merge our (very large) families. We are planning a traditional Polish-Catholic wedding that is anything but predictable.
Whew! It took me longer than the anticipated week to write up the most important Polish wedding traditions. I hope that you enjoyed reading them, and that you learned something about the Polish culture! To wrap up, I just wanted to draw your attention to some of the different traditions that have been mentioned on the ’Bee before, thanks to the Avocados and the Sea Breezes!
Breezy wrote about the Poprawiny, or “the do-over”: the day after the wedding extravaganza (I told you Polish weddings were three day affairs). I love her family’s addition of a shot of vodka and a shot of water to the “Bread and Salt” tradition (like a true Polka, I like anything with a little addition of wodka). She also wrote about an interesting way to celebrate one’s 1st wedding anniversary. Read more…
Mrs. Pudding, Greater Toronto Area/VermontAge and Occupation: 26, High School TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Computer EngineerEngagement Date: August 2008Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall ReceptionAbout Me: Quite literally a citizen of the world, I was born in Poland, grew up in Canada, and now live in the beautiful state of Vermont. I love reading historical biographies, multi-tasking, teasing my hair, and, despite my height, wearing high heeled shoes. I am the ultimate klutz with an uncanny ability to put on a graceful front. Mr. Pudding and I have been dating for over six years, and are very excited to finally merge our (very large) families. We are planning a traditional Polish-Catholic wedding that is anything but predictable.
“Oczepiny” or “The Unveiling” is one of the oldest Polish wedding traditions. It usually happens at the reception around midnight, and officially marks the first day of the bride’s life as a mature woman and wife. The ceremony begins with the unveiling of the bride (hence the name, duh). The maid of honour is put in charge of taking off the bride’s veil, which you can imagine is no easy task!
Mrs. Pudding, Greater Toronto Area/VermontAge and Occupation: 26, High School TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Computer EngineerEngagement Date: August 2008Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall ReceptionAbout Me: Quite literally a citizen of the world, I was born in Poland, grew up in Canada, and now live in the beautiful state of Vermont. I love reading historical biographies, multi-tasking, teasing my hair, and, despite my height, wearing high heeled shoes. I am the ultimate klutz with an uncanny ability to put on a graceful front. Mr. Pudding and I have been dating for over six years, and are very excited to finally merge our (very large) families. We are planning a traditional Polish-Catholic wedding that is anything but predictable.
A Polish wedding is not simply a one day affair. It is a full-out celebration consisting of three full days of binge eating, drinking, and dancing. The fun begins with the Polterabend: a Polish/German custom (side note history lesson: our part of Poland was under German/Prussian occupation for close to 300 years before WWI) where anyone from the community that wants to come and wish the soon-to-be-married couple well is invited to bring a collection of bottles and jars and smash the glass on the porch of the bride’s house. Traditionally, the bride and groom were supposed to clean the glass up themselves to prove that they would work together on the household chores. The people “testing” them could only be persuaded to stop throwing glass if the groom persuaded them with enough wodka.
***All pictures below are personal shots taken by Mr. P or me at my cousin’s Polterabend in Poland.
In the modern version of the Polterabend, some things have changed:
Mrs. Pudding, Greater Toronto Area/VermontAge and Occupation: 26, High School TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Computer EngineerEngagement Date: August 2008Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall ReceptionAbout Me: Quite literally a citizen of the world, I was born in Poland, grew up in Canada, and now live in the beautiful state of Vermont. I love reading historical biographies, multi-tasking, teasing my hair, and, despite my height, wearing high heeled shoes. I am the ultimate klutz with an uncanny ability to put on a graceful front. Mr. Pudding and I have been dating for over six years, and are very excited to finally merge our (very large) families. We are planning a traditional Polish-Catholic wedding that is anything but predictable.
The bread and salt tradition is a Slavic custom that dates back to the 17th century. It is basically a greeting ceremony, and it is practiced in many eastern European nations including Poland, Russia, Serbia, Bulgaria, and others. In simple terms, the host and/or hostess of a household or event will welcome important guests by presenting them with a loaf of bread and some salt. The guest will then take a piece of bread, dip it in the salt, and eat it. This is supposed to be a symbol of great hospitality, as well as an expression of hope that the guest will never know the pains of hunger.
This custom is not limited to weddings. Many Slavic governments use this tradition when greeting diplomats and people of political importance. Joe Biden even got a taste of it on a recent trip to Ukraine.
Mrs. Pudding, Greater Toronto Area/VermontAge and Occupation: 26, High School TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Computer EngineerEngagement Date: August 2008Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall ReceptionAbout Me: Quite literally a citizen of the world, I was born in Poland, grew up in Canada, and now live in the beautiful state of Vermont. I love reading historical biographies, multi-tasking, teasing my hair, and, despite my height, wearing high heeled shoes. I am the ultimate klutz with an uncanny ability to put on a graceful front. Mr. Pudding and I have been dating for over six years, and are very excited to finally merge our (very large) families. We are planning a traditional Polish-Catholic wedding that is anything but predictable.
Our very own Avocados pulled off this tradition beautifully! Basically, after exiting the church, the happy couple is showered with coins by their guests. The bride and groom have to pick up all of the coins by themselves, and this is supposed to ensure the prosperity of their union.
Mrs. Pudding, Greater Toronto Area/VermontAge and Occupation: 26, High School TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Computer EngineerEngagement Date: August 2008Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall ReceptionAbout Me: Quite literally a citizen of the world, I was born in Poland, grew up in Canada, and now live in the beautiful state of Vermont. I love reading historical biographies, multi-tasking, teasing my hair, and, despite my height, wearing high heeled shoes. I am the ultimate klutz with an uncanny ability to put on a graceful front. Mr. Pudding and I have been dating for over six years, and are very excited to finally merge our (very large) families. We are planning a traditional Polish-Catholic wedding that is anything but predictable.
Sister Pudding has been giving me a lot of attitude about the fact that I haven’t been blogging as regularly as I used to. She’s calling me a “bad bee”, and she’s right; my post counts in the last couple of weeks has been measly compared to what it used to be. The truth is, the closer I come to the wedding, the more thinking about anything wedding related (including blogging) gives me a slight panic attack. I sincerely apologize: I have been a bad bee.
This week, I would like for that to change. So, in order to wean myself back to being a regular blogger, I have decided to do a week-long set of posts on Polish wedding traditions. I have a different tradition for every day, and I am hoping that this pre-determined list of topics will aid me in blogging regularly.
So without further ado, today’s tradition is called “Blogoslawienstwo” or “The Blessing”.
The idea that seeing the bride before the wedding is bad luck does not exist in Polish tradition. Read more…
Mrs. Pudding, Greater Toronto Area/VermontAge and Occupation: 26, High School TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Computer EngineerEngagement Date: August 2008Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall ReceptionAbout Me: Quite literally a citizen of the world, I was born in Poland, grew up in Canada, and now live in the beautiful state of Vermont. I love reading historical biographies, multi-tasking, teasing my hair, and, despite my height, wearing high heeled shoes. I am the ultimate klutz with an uncanny ability to put on a graceful front. Mr. Pudding and I have been dating for over six years, and are very excited to finally merge our (very large) families. We are planning a traditional Polish-Catholic wedding that is anything but predictable.
Mr. Pudding and I completed our Pre-Cana classes this Sunday. We opted not to do the weekend long “Engaged Encounter”, and went to classes on Thursdays and Sundays for two weeks instead. Although we were both a little hesitant about the classes (Mr. P in particular), we actually thought them to be quite enjoyable.
Our sessions were mostly centered around group discussions. They were monitored by five married couples who took us through the material by sharing their personal experiences. We were often asked to share our thoughts with a small group, and than with the whole class. The questions up for discussion ranged from “what values do you and your partner have in common” and “how will you ensure that your marriage is a spiritually healthy one” to “how comfortable are you discussing sexuality with your partner”.
Mrs. Pudding, Greater Toronto Area/VermontAge and Occupation: 26, High School TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Computer EngineerEngagement Date: August 2008Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall ReceptionAbout Me: Quite literally a citizen of the world, I was born in Poland, grew up in Canada, and now live in the beautiful state of Vermont. I love reading historical biographies, multi-tasking, teasing my hair, and, despite my height, wearing high heeled shoes. I am the ultimate klutz with an uncanny ability to put on a graceful front. Mr. Pudding and I have been dating for over six years, and are very excited to finally merge our (very large) families. We are planning a traditional Polish-Catholic wedding that is anything but predictable.
Remember that FMIL Pudding is making our wedding cake? Well, it turns out that having your cake baker live with you has some advantages. Every Sunday night for the last couple of months, FMIL P has whipped up a different flavor of cake for us to try. The problem? Each cake is better than the last, and we simply cannot make up our minds on the flavor.
Mrs. Pudding, Greater Toronto Area/VermontAge and Occupation: 26, High School TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Computer EngineerEngagement Date: August 2008Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall ReceptionAbout Me: Quite literally a citizen of the world, I was born in Poland, grew up in Canada, and now live in the beautiful state of Vermont. I love reading historical biographies, multi-tasking, teasing my hair, and, despite my height, wearing high heeled shoes. I am the ultimate klutz with an uncanny ability to put on a graceful front. Mr. Pudding and I have been dating for over six years, and are very excited to finally merge our (very large) families. We are planning a traditional Polish-Catholic wedding that is anything but predictable.
Confession: I am a 27 year old woman who enjoys watching shows about trendy high school kids, and Gossip Girl is one of my favorites. Blair is absolutely my fashion icon, and I am strangely attracted to the naughtiness that is Chuck Bass.
This week’s episode was particularly exciting for me. Why? I’ll give you two words: Polish Wedding.
That’s right, the very Polish Dorota got married this week, and I had big hopes for her wedding. Because she kept talking about how incorporating tradition into the ceremony was very important to ensure a successful union, I thought that I was in for a slight glimpse into our own wedding: a modern North American affair, with a mix of “the old country”.
Unfortunately, Dorota’s wedding was quite disappointing.
Mrs. Pudding, Greater Toronto Area/VermontAge and Occupation: 26, High School TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Computer EngineerEngagement Date: August 2008Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall ReceptionAbout Me: Quite literally a citizen of the world, I was born in Poland, grew up in Canada, and now live in the beautiful state of Vermont. I love reading historical biographies, multi-tasking, teasing my hair, and, despite my height, wearing high heeled shoes. I am the ultimate klutz with an uncanny ability to put on a graceful front. Mr. Pudding and I have been dating for over six years, and are very excited to finally merge our (very large) families. We are planning a traditional Polish-Catholic wedding that is anything but predictable.
In between the printing, cutting, and gluing that our semi-DIY invitations require, I have been thinking about ways to spruce up the church for our ceremony. Most churches are beautiful enough on their own, and don’t need much decoration. We will have two floral arrangements in the front, and I am planning on personalizing a runner to decorate the aisle. The only thing missing is some pew decorations.
Unfortunately, much like the famous Casanova above, most of the ideas for pew decorations that I was able to find were a little too fussy and frou frou, and not at all desirable.
Mrs. Pudding, Greater Toronto Area/VermontAge and Occupation: 26, High School TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Computer EngineerEngagement Date: August 2008Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall ReceptionAbout Me: Quite literally a citizen of the world, I was born in Poland, grew up in Canada, and now live in the beautiful state of Vermont. I love reading historical biographies, multi-tasking, teasing my hair, and, despite my height, wearing high heeled shoes. I am the ultimate klutz with an uncanny ability to put on a graceful front. Mr. Pudding and I have been dating for over six years, and are very excited to finally merge our (very large) families. We are planning a traditional Polish-Catholic wedding that is anything but predictable.
Our reception space is your typical banquet hall. Nothing fancy, just a large room with hardwood floors and chandeliers, and lots of wooden panels. Typically, weddings that take place here follow the same set up pattern: round tables for guests, and a long rectangular head table for the wedding party. Here’s a visual:
(photo credit goes to Uncle Pudding)
There are several reasons why I am feeling a bit “meh” about this arrangement.
Mrs. Pudding, Greater Toronto Area/VermontAge and Occupation: 26, High School TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Computer EngineerEngagement Date: August 2008Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall ReceptionAbout Me: Quite literally a citizen of the world, I was born in Poland, grew up in Canada, and now live in the beautiful state of Vermont. I love reading historical biographies, multi-tasking, teasing my hair, and, despite my height, wearing high heeled shoes. I am the ultimate klutz with an uncanny ability to put on a graceful front. Mr. Pudding and I have been dating for over six years, and are very excited to finally merge our (very large) families. We are planning a traditional Polish-Catholic wedding that is anything but predictable.
Like many brides-to-be, I have a Martha Stewart Weddings subscription. I was lucky enough to be gifted this must-have magazine from my FMIL when Mr. P and I got engaged. The subscription was placed under Mama Pudding’s Canadian address, since I was living with her at the time. Despite my migration south, the magazines still come to Mama P’s house, and I think of them as fun little surprises waiting for me when I come home.
I am visiting Mama Pudding this week, and using the time to catch up with Martha. As I was flipping through an old issue of the magazine, I spotted her! My wedding gown, in Martha Stewart! I couldn’t believe it! Sure, it was an ad for the designer, but still!
You see, the gown is made by a slightly lesser known label (San Patrick), and I have never before come across it anywhere in print or online. I haven’t even encountered another bride on the ’Bee that bought the same dress. Even after doing a Google image search, I was not able to find a single “real” bride in my dress. So seeing it now, in this most important of wedding magazines, got me really excited! Read more…
Mrs. Pudding, Greater Toronto Area/VermontAge and Occupation: 26, High School TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Computer EngineerEngagement Date: August 2008Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall ReceptionAbout Me: Quite literally a citizen of the world, I was born in Poland, grew up in Canada, and now live in the beautiful state of Vermont. I love reading historical biographies, multi-tasking, teasing my hair, and, despite my height, wearing high heeled shoes. I am the ultimate klutz with an uncanny ability to put on a graceful front. Mr. Pudding and I have been dating for over six years, and are very excited to finally merge our (very large) families. We are planning a traditional Polish-Catholic wedding that is anything but predictable.
Well, not yet. Our wedding is actually 100 days from today. So technically, we will be in the double digits tomorrow.
Where did all the time go? When we got engaged in August 2008, the wedding seemed a lifetime away. I have to admit that I was upset about the fact that I would have to wait so long to walk down the aisle. I tried to twist our timeline any which way to get the date bumped up, but it just wasn’t possible.
Now that the wedding is just around the corner, I find myself wishing that I had more time. I even (jokingly) asked Mr. Pudding if he would mind postponing.
To be honest, I am feeling a little unprepared. There is still so much to do, wedding wise, but my fears go beyond that. I’m feeling a little bit unprepared for this “married” part - for this part when I officially leave my family to begin one of my own - the part where I become an adult.
Unique Wedding Favors
