Mrs. Pencils, Washington DC/Frederick, MDAge and Occupation: 24, Program Director, Education Non ProfitFiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Administrative Assistant, Ocean Conservation Non ProfitEngagement Date: July 26, 2008Wedding Date: May 2010Venue: Morningside InnAbout Me: I'm a nerdy Northwestern girl who always knew she was meant to live in the East, harboring a deep love of ice cream, underwear, Diet Coke with a splash of Coca-Cola, pashminas, scrapbooking, stationery, wall calendars and books written for preteens. I think every day should include good thin crust pizza, chocolate, an obscure historical monument, lots of laughter, a dash of wedding planning and, of course, amazing Mr. Pencils! I'm loving the adventure of planning a Maryland wedding and Rocky Mountain reception, and most of all, I just love love!
My favorite post is one of the many millions (or 6) from our actual wedding ceremony: our vows. Mr. Pencils and I spent many hours crafting our words for each other and we wanted a balanced, similar-toned but also personalized vows. The few hours we spent one Friday night creating them is one of my favorite evenings to date with my now-husband, and reading this post reminds me of the most important part of a wedding day: that physical moment when you and your chosen person look into each other’s eyes and say, “yes, I want you, now and always.” This post also resonates with me when considering my second favorite post alongside it, where I expressed some superficial as well as deep-set fears about our wedding day and marriage. Three months prior to the moment below, I wrote that I feared “I won’t be the wife that Mr. Pencils thinks I’m capable of being. I fear that my messiness, my long work hours, my addition to chocolate/Coca Cola/bad TV will drive him to drink.
I fear that all these fears will surface and Mr. Pencils will wonder why he chose this crazy, loud, irreverent, over-thinking, uncouth woman to be his wife.
I fear that in all this hoopla, I’ll forget the real reason for it all—us. Mr. P is my other half, my self’s reflection, my counterpart.
Our wedding day and our marriage itself is the beginning of something bigger, better—but it’s still just us. He is the man that will be my children’s father, his hands will hold mine as we create the life we’ve imagined. We’ll dream together, laugh together, cry together, FEAR together.”
When I read these fears, six months after our wedding and nine months after I wrote them down for all of you to read, I realize that the fears I had, the fears you may have, are silly, over-thought, justified AND ridiculous worries all at once.
Mrs. Cardigan, AustinAge and Occupation: 21, Student/Soon-to-be Special Education TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 20, Student/Soon-to-be Accounting Systems AnalystEngagement Date: August 16, 2009Wedding Date: January 2011Venue: Vintage VillasAbout Me: I'm a native Austinite who was raised as a die-hard Aggie. Luckily, I'm a pretty persuasive girl because I managed to convince my high school boyfriend (now fiance!), Mr. Cardigan, to ditch his hardcore Longhorn ways and join me up at A&M, where we currently reside with our adorable dogs, Cullen & Ranger. We're currently planning a bright, cheery wedding with a ridiculous amount of DIY projects that I can't wait to tackle! I love crafting in any form, reading, and margaritas (I think I love them the most!). Organization is what keeps me sane and I love helping others, which is probably why I ended up as an education major. It gets a little chaotic sometimes when you're planning a wedding among all of the papers, projects, finals, and certification exams, but we're having the time of our lives and we can't wait to get started on our journey as husband and wife - and we're so excited to share our wedding with the hive!
When BIL Cardy agreed to officiate the wedding I was, naturally, over the moon with excitement. I had already started thinking about ideas for the ceremony, and when he said yes it gave me the green light to dive in headfirst.
Well, I think I might be drowning.
Let me back up a little. When I started working on writing the ceremony, I spent a good 10 minutes just staring at a blank Word document with no idea how to start. I mean, it’s not like I’ve ever done anything like this before. Where do you even begin with writing a ceremony? What order does it go in? I felt like my head was going to implode from all of the confusion.
Then I realized that maybe I was trying to think of too much all at once. Read more…
Mrs. Pin Cushion, Oakland, CAAge and Occupation: 25, Nurse Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, PhD StudentEngagement Date: November 23, 2008Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Radonich Ranch, Los GatosAbout Me: I'm the 3 Cs: crafty, creative and quirky (oh, that's not a C? Close enough!). I'm also a recycling fanatic, fluent in bad accents and I have the loudest laughter this side of the Mississippi. I have not just one sweet tooth, but a whole mouth full of sweet teeth. I cry at 97.4% of all movies I see, but my fiance's always there to hand me a tissue. My geek-chic fiance and I are planning a wedding full of color, cookies and handmade goodness and I can't wait to spill the beans on all of our crazy ideas!
After writing our ceremony, we Pin Cushions still needed to tackle our wedding vows. But instead of a tackle, it ended up being more of a bob and weave; we avoided writing those vows for days… which became weeks and ::shudder:: finally months. Our vows did not get written until the night before the wedding!
Everything is more beautiful after the pressure of the vows is off…
It was easy enough to let the procrastination bug get the better of us. There was so much pressure tied up with the vows! Vows are supposed to be the ultimate statement of love to one another, a promise of your life together. Each time we mentioned to each other that perhaps we should think about writing them, I would feel my chest tighten up and a cold sweat break out.
After putting it off for as long as we possibly could, we finally agreed upon a general format: Read more…
Mrs. Pin Cushion, Oakland, CAAge and Occupation: 25, Nurse Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, PhD StudentEngagement Date: November 23, 2008Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Radonich Ranch, Los GatosAbout Me: I'm the 3 Cs: crafty, creative and quirky (oh, that's not a C? Close enough!). I'm also a recycling fanatic, fluent in bad accents and I have the loudest laughter this side of the Mississippi. I have not just one sweet tooth, but a whole mouth full of sweet teeth. I cry at 97.4% of all movies I see, but my fiance's always there to hand me a tissue. My geek-chic fiance and I are planning a wedding full of color, cookies and handmade goodness and I can't wait to spill the beans on all of our crazy ideas!
Break a record as the longest post in Weddingbee history.
Help insomniacs finally get some sleep, due to fact #1
Assist someone in writing their own ceremony (that’s my hope at least [though #2 would be nice too, since everybody needs to get some good sleep]).
When Mr. Pin Cushion and I set out to write out own ceremony, we were quite miffed with how to begin. We ended up relying on a variety of sources. We frequently looked to Mrs. Cherry Pie’s post on her ceremony wording. We endlessly googled for ideas. And we used this book:
It took quite a few hours-long sessions at coffee shops, and lots of revisions, but in the end, we were beyond thrilled with how the ceremony turned out. Many guests told us that the ceremony made them cry (which we took as a compliment!). Read more…
Mrs. Husky, DenverAge and Occupation: 26, Systems AdministratorFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Mechanical Engineer, recently laid offEngagement Date: August 14, 2009Wedding Date: October 2010Venue: Rancho San CarlosAbout Me: I am planning a quirky-crafty wedding with my recently out-of-work fiancé for a (fingers crossed!) warm October afternoon. We are two self-professed nerds with an affinity for all things outdoors---be it rain, snow or shine. Recently relocated from the drizzly Northwest, we're enjoying the many sun-soaked days in the mile high city. Our day will be filled with both of our large families and friends, a self-served Cajun feast, and a Zydeco-style jazz band rocking beneath the beams of a historic red barn.
When I was younger, I always wanted to write for a newspaper. Not because I had any real desire to be a newspaper reporter, but because it seemed the only thing that would force me to write was a deadline. School papers were usually finished in the early morning hours of their due date. Toasts have been scribbled on a rehearsal dinner napkin. I suppose I just do better under pressure.
But procrastination has become a problem with my vows. Read more…
Mrs. Elephant, Dallas, TXAge and Occupation: 27, Financial Operations AnalystFiance's Age and Occupation: 27, IT Student/Store ManagerEngagement Date: March 29, 2009Wedding Date: April 2011Venue: The Tribute Golf ClubAbout Me: I'm a Philly native creating roots deep in the heart of Texas. I might be a little obsessed capturing those Kodak moments of anything and everything (mainly on vacations). I've become more of a gamer thanks to Mr. Elephant, who I met online and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with. We are planning a wedding based on our favorite colors, blue and green, with a travel theme for 150 of our closest friends and family. Hopefully our long (2-year) engagement won't kill me!
When it came to planning for our actual ceremony, there were three main things to consider: the vows, the readings, and the music. I’ll be talking about the music later, so let’s discuss the vows and readings today, shall we?
The vows were the easiest part to nail down. We will not be writing our own vows, but instead using the traditional vows that have been used for many, many years before us. Both Mr. E and I are extremely lucky to have parents who have been married for over 30 years, and we wanted to use the same vows that they used on their wedding days and still ring true years later.
With the vows taken care of, we moved on to the readings. Although Mr. E is more spiritual than into organized religion, we decided to have one reading from the Bible and one from another source. I have always loved hearing 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 at weddings, so that will be our scripture reading.
The other reading took a little more research. Enter Google. I Googled “popular wedding readings” and read…and read…and read some more, until I found a couple that could be contenders. Some of my favorites included an excerpt from Nicholas Sparks’s book The Notebook as well as the poem “True Love” by an unknown author.
But nothing touched me like “The Art of a Good Marriage” by Wilfred Arlan Peterson. Read more…
Mrs. Lioness, AtlantaAge and Occupation: 25, Physical TherapistFiance's Age and Occupation: 25, AttorneyEngagement Date: August 29, 2009Wedding Date: April 2011Venue: Anthony’s Fine DiningAbout Me: I’m a Southern girl with New England roots. I say "wicked" and "y’all" in the same sentence and I like to drink sweet tea with my lobster. Mr. Lion and I are both former Floridians now living in Atlanta, which fortunately is still SEC country...Go Gators! We both love baseball, coffee, traveling, cooking, and playing Words with Friends with each other on our iPhones all day long. I’m very passionate about the things and the people I love, and I tend to plan things with all of my heart...our wedding, of course, is no different! Oh, and also Mr. Lion is a first generation American of Cuban descent. I may look more like Lucy than Ricky, but I’m doing my best to incorporate some Latin elements into our vintage-garden-Southern wedding!
Most of our wedding ideas thus far have revolved around the reception. We’ve had our first dance song picked out since before we got engaged, I had imagined exactly what I wanted our centerpieces to look like, and have I mentioned the food? I suppose this is pretty normal for most brides, but I find it ironic because, to me, the ceremony is the most important part of a wedding.
Here’s my confession: the ceremony kinda intimidated me.
Mrs. Knitting, TorontoAge and Occupation: 24, Student Recruitment Assistant
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Neuroscience PhD CandidateEngagement Date: October 2009Wedding Date: December 2010Venue: University of Toronto Faculty Club
About Me: I'm a pearl wearing, etiquette book reading Toronto girl who loves cooking and baking, museums, charm bracelets, and collecting books on Jackie Kennedy (a lot). I've been known to spend Sunday mornings at the antique market, Wednesday evenings at sister sushi dinners, and any bit of spare time reading. After six and a half years of many late night walks, watching DVDs together in bed, travelling to places like New York, and Tobermory, doing Sudokus together on the couch, lots of Indian food, the occasional yoga class, moving in together and so much more, Mr. Knitting and I are planning a cozy Christmasy (it's a word!), vintage wedding in Toronto complete with many DIY projects (eek!) and lots of help from our amazing group of family and friends.
As I wrote about here, we’re pretty uncomfortable with public displays of emotion, so we won’t be writing our own vows. However, figuring out what we did want to say took a while, because while Mr. K was very vague about what he did want to say, he seemed to find lots of vows “lame.”
I, on the other hand, became very fixated on the idea of saying the wedding vows of the United Church because my paternal grandparents were married in a United Church and they had an incredible, happy, and long lasting marriage. I thought it would be so sweet to say the same vows they did over 60 years ago. However, Mr. K wasn’t fan because he thought the language was too old fashioned, so we moved on.
A pretty remarkable couple and two fantastic role models:
At this point I figured we’d just wait until we met with our officiant to see what he might recommend. However, then I came across Mrs. Ribbons’ post about their wedding and loved their vows. Read more…
Mrs. Sand Dollar, HoustonAge and Occupation: 24, Graphic DesignerFiance's Age and Occupation: 22, Electrical TechnicianEngagement Date: January 8, 2010Wedding Date: September 2010Venue: MacLean ParkAbout Me: I'm a domestic diva down to the core. I heart cooking, sewing, baking, decorating and making sure we have a hand-crafted home. The best part about the wedding is I get to incorporate it all! I make sure I put my art degree to good use by screen printing, craft knife cutting, and a whole lotta graphic design. We're having a big-time party on a small-time budget, and I promise to show you a boot-scootin', barbecue-eatin', finger-lickin' good time! Mr. Sand Dollar and I spend most of our time on DIY projects or traipsing around the outdoors with our two pooches Rory and Juno. I'm looking forward to sharing our journey with all of you!
One thing Mr. SD and I didn’t want to worry about was finding a minister. He attended a church all through high school, but the pastor has since left and been replaced. It’s pretty much the same story for me, and we didn’t really find a church home in Waco. So, who would we ask? We didn’t want a stranger to perform the ceremony, so we decided on a friend. Who? This guy.
This is basically the essence of Matty Reeves. Read more…
Mrs. Cardigan, AustinAge and Occupation: 21, Student/Soon-to-be Special Education TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 20, Student/Soon-to-be Accounting Systems AnalystEngagement Date: August 16, 2009Wedding Date: January 2011Venue: Vintage VillasAbout Me: I'm a native Austinite who was raised as a die-hard Aggie. Luckily, I'm a pretty persuasive girl because I managed to convince my high school boyfriend (now fiance!), Mr. Cardigan, to ditch his hardcore Longhorn ways and join me up at A&M, where we currently reside with our adorable dogs, Cullen & Ranger. We're currently planning a bright, cheery wedding with a ridiculous amount of DIY projects that I can't wait to tackle! I love crafting in any form, reading, and margaritas (I think I love them the most!). Organization is what keeps me sane and I love helping others, which is probably why I ended up as an education major. It gets a little chaotic sometimes when you're planning a wedding among all of the papers, projects, finals, and certification exams, but we're having the time of our lives and we can't wait to get started on our journey as husband and wife - and we're so excited to share our wedding with the hive!
When it comes to personalizing your wedding, I feel like making the reception, decorations, music, etc. personal are all pretty easy. You choose what you like, and go from there. But, it gets a bit harder when it comes to the ceremony. I’ve already shared our reading for the ceremony, but beyond that I’ve had a really hard time coming up with ideas for how to make the ceremony more “us,” beyond writing the whole thing ourselves (which is an extremely daunting task!).
Part of the problem is that when Mr. Cardy and I first got engaged, I was (for some reason) absolutely adamant that we wouldn’t have any rituals within our ceremony. For example, we were to have no sand ceremony, no unity candle, etc. I know that it sounds like a silly thing to be so opposed to, but I promise I had a reason.
In my experience (this is not to say that it’s true for everyone!) people tend to do these sort of ceremonies just because it’s what they’ve seen at other weddings, and they feel like it’s what they’re “supposed” to do. Read more…
Mrs. Plaid, AustinAge and Occupation: 26, Pastry ChefFiance's Age and Occupation: 34, Cabinetry CarpenterEngagement Date: August 8, 2009Wedding Date: October 2010Venue: Kindred Oaks, GeorgetownAbout Me: I am a Jersey girl born and raised but have since migrated to Texas and embraced its twang and Tex-Mex. I could probably eat chips and queso every day but instead I eat popcorn. I use the word “awesome” way too much but I just can’t seem to stop myself. I am addicted to all things DIY and am planning what I call a Texas-Chic wedding. I love snuggling with my two adorable dogs and of course, my adorable fiance. I can’t wait 'til I can call him my husband some day! October 2010, here we come!
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how to say “I love you” on our wedding day. I really want it to be special, but I’m nervous I won’t be able to get what I feel across in words. Let alone the fact that I may flub it all up with tears. Stupid tears…ugh! (I know Mama Plaid will be crying in the audience…I doubt I’ll be able to hold it together. My emotions are going to be running high that day.)
We’ve basically got two options. We can just say traditional vows. You know, the whole:
I, Miss Plaid, take you, Mr. Plaid, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
But I just don’t know if I’m feeling that. I like the idea of just having to repeat after the officiant, but it seems so devoid of emotion and personality. We may both be quiet people, but trust me, we’ve got tons of personality. We might be what some would classify as weird. (It keeps it interesting, I promise. Besides, everyone’s got a little weird in them.)
So then we come to option two: Writing our own vows. Oh man, does this option make me nervous. Creative writing has never really been my forte. However, I’ve seen this done in different ways. Read more…
Mrs. Hot Wings, Chicago/San DiegoAge and Occupation: 28, ProfessorFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, InstructorEngagement Date: December 20, 2008Wedding Date: August 2010Venue: Ocean View Villas/Jasmine Seafood RestaurantAbout Me: I am a psychology grad student living in Chicago and planning my wedding to a fellow psych grad student. I am a Sunny So-Cal bred gal who trudged across the country to follow her love of psychology and ended up finding a partner in the process. I am overly passionate about anything I involve myself with. I am an activist, a foodie, a reality TV watching junkie, an over-analyzer, a photography obsesser, and am utterly cheesy to the core. This is a story of what happens when a boy and a girl meet, fall in love over academic dorkiness, and a shared love for life. We (mostly I) are planning our semi-destination wedding in my hometown of San Diego. We are excited to bring our families and friends together from across our lifespans to celebrate our future in a grand 400+ person culturally blended affair!
The Hot Wings’ ceremony is making its way toward the finish line. The process has been difficult. We originally started with discussion. I followed by scouring the internet for possible readings and ways to saying things. I emailed these to Mr. Hot wings. He worked on it and emailed it back. It wasn’t feeling as collaborated as I had hoped. Read more…
Ms Seahorse, BostonAge and Occupation: 25, Veterinary Jane-of-all-tradesFiancee's Age and Occupation: 36, former non-profit fundraiser in search of something betterEngagement Date: October 17, 2009Wedding Date: September 2010Venue: Fort Pond LodgeAbout Me: By day I'm a cat-wrangler, vet tech assistant, pet-sitter, receptionist, and pre-vet student, but the rest of the time, I'm a former-roller-derby girl turned dedicated-wedding planner. I love reading, writing, bicycles, animals, roller skating, and antique-y things of all sorts. I'm a vegetarian who likes spicy foods, while Fiancee Seahorse is a meat eater who does not like spices. We live outside Boston with our menagerie: a fifty pound dog, a one-eyed, seventeen-toed, toothless cat, and a perfectly put together cat who has a penchant for pooping near rather than in her litter box. In addition to planning our small lake-side wedding, we enjoy running around with the puppy, playing board games (Scrabble, anyone?), having little adventures, talking about how we should really clean the house more, and maintaining our little garden of vegetables and wedding flowers.
This is so hard. Have I mentioned that this is hard?
Guess what we’re doing?
anxiety
Writing our vows. You know, doing just the most important part of wedding planning, in my humble opinion. Or not-so-humble opinion.
This process has, I think, been the hardest part of this whole wedding planning experience, and also the part with the most pressure. Read more…
Mrs. Cola, Mountain View, CAAge and Occupation: 27, Product Communications and PromotionsFiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Managing Partner and Senior DesignerEngagement Date: March 5, 2009Wedding Date: June 2010Venue: The Mountain Terrace, Woodside, CAAbout Me: I’m a Washington State native, enjoying life in Silicon Valley California with my fiancé, our three kitties and one leopard gecko. I like reading wedding blogs, Photoshopping wedding design mock ups, making lists, and planning, planning, planning! I’m a bit of an anomaly, on one side I’m a very girlie girl, I collect shoes, I lay out my outfits 4-6 weeks in advance, and I’d never leave the house without my hair curled and makeup on. But on the other side, I’m a total tomboy, I love to go camping and hiking, play drinking games (hey, I’m Irish!) and most of my closest friends are guys. My fiancé and I are planning a DIY-focused wedding with a balance between easygoing (what he wants) and chic and stylish (what I want), and are tying it all together with elements in lavender, sage, butter cream and chocolate.
Our vows are something that took Mr. Cola and me a while to decide on.
On one hand, I didn’t really want to do the more traditional vows, where we would just repeat the same thing our officiant said. I wanted something a little more personal and meaningful for us, especially since we pieced together the ceremony wording ourselves.
But on the other hand, Mr. Cola thought that writing our own vows would be a lot of work. And I couldn’t argue with that, because I agreed it would be. And then I read Miss Sewing’s post about vows, and she brought up the very good point that when a bride and groom both write their own vows, and don’t see them in advance, there’s a good chance they could end up being vastly different in length and/or tone.
So Mr. Cola and I came up with a compromise: Vow Libs! Read more…
Mrs. Sewing, San Mateo, CA/Honolulu, HIAge and Occupation: 24, Electrical EngineerFiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Electrical EngineerEngagement Date: June 27, 2009Wedding Date: July 2010Venue: Anela Garden Chapel & Japanese Cultural Center, HonoluluAbout Me: I'm an easily entertained, compulsive idea-scheming machine who loves good art, good food, and a good engineering challenge. I'm planning a half-destination wedding on the beautiful island of Oahu - imagine a plethora of movies, art and games; savory Hawaiian food; blended Chinese and Japanese cultural details; lush, fragrant tropical flowers and all the air conditioning a NorCal native could want! And once I marry the love of my life, we'll come back to the 'mainland' to party it up all over again in my hometown of Salinas, the salad-bowl capital of the world!
So I took a stab at writing my own little “letter” to read to Mr. Sew at our ceremony. My thoughts are to read our heartfelt sentiments to each other, then commence with the rings and traditional vows. I always love it when couples say something personal to each other. There’s something that just seems so special about it.
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