Head of the Class: A Post About Who Sits Where

Seating arrangements are not something I’m looking forward to. I’ve tried a few mock-ups, but since our RSVPs have only just started to roll in, I really have no idea who or even how many “whos” to expect.

Instead, I’ve been trying to finalize our head table. (Again, something that should be simple but which I’ve taken upon myself to make undeniably more difficult.)

In a perfect world, I’d have everyone sitting at one giant table a la the Queen’s dinner parties, but our venue doesn’t exactly allow for this type of setting.


Image via Daily Mail

One popular head table type that I am downright opposed to having is the sweetheart table.


While I totally understand why so many brides choose to go this route, I want to hang out with our friends! I mean, I eat dinner with Mr. Rucksack almost every night, but I rarely get all of my friends together in one place. I just know that I would be jealous if all of our attendants were having all sorts of fun without us.

The traditional head table also includes the best man and maid of honor along with their dates. If we were to go with this set-up, I’d probably switch the order so that Mr. Rucksack could sit next to his bestie and I could sit next to my cousin.


Next up we have the parental table. This is another oldie but goodie that includes the parents of both the bride and groom in addition to the best man and maid of honor. I’m not opposed to this idea, but with so much family coming in from out of state, I know my mom will want to celebrate with them too.


The next table set-up is something I like to call the Sixth Grade Dance Table. In this popular table arrangement, all the groomsmen are on one side and all the bridesmaids are on the other. It certainly makes things easy, but I don’t like the idea of completely separating everyone. In our case, it also makes the table ridiculously long. Longer-than-last-supper long.


Rather than splitting up the genders, we could scatter the bridal party around the table to ensure that everyone mingles and has fun. I also like this arrangement because it allows for Mr. Rucksack’s sister and her husband to sit together. Since neither of them will know anyone else in the wedding party, they may be more comfortable together than on opposite sides of the table. Same goes for GM Brobot and MOH Tessa, who are brother and sister.


Of course, that still leaves out the dates. If we included them, it would look something like this:


Yikes! That’s a whole lot of people! (And that’s just including the dates I know for sure will be coming.) This particular arrangement also brings additional awkward considerations such as “strong personalities” that don’t really get along with all parties involved. It took me a really long time to even come up with a “More the Merrier” prototype because I kept thinking, “Wait, A and N don’t get along, so I have to separate them…” and repeat.

Right now, I think we’ll most likely go with the Scattered VIP Table. I think it’s the table arrangement guaranteed to give me the most amount of fun, and I think the dates can band together for an hour while we eat dinner. That shouldn’t be too hard, right?

What kind of head table will you/did you have? Are there any other alternatives I should consider?


Mrs. Rucksack

May 16
Branford, CT
Wedding Date:
August 2013
Let Them Eat Pie!
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  1. Guest Icon Guest
    Kathleen, Guest @ 7:19 am

    We sat with our parents and grand parents at a round table close to the dance floor and then we just had our bridal party scattered around the room sitting with their friends. Our bridal party was large (8 on each side), many had dates, and came from different parts of our lives, so we said, why not let them sit with their friends rather than forcing them to all become friends. It worked out well and we just sat people with toasts closer to that spot so they didn’t have to travel far.

    Good luck!

  2. Member
    daniellekira 573 posts, Busy bee @ 1:26 pm

    I went with the sixth grade table. I want to be up there with my girls and husband, and then everyone can mingle later.

  3. mswaterfall Bee
    Mrs. Waterfall 1403 posts, Bumble bee @ 3:32 pm

    We did sweetheart and loved it, it was my only alone time with Mr. W. 🙂

  4. Member
    MaryRachel 307 posts, Helper bee @ 12:13 pm

    We’re only allowed to do a sweetheart table or nothing (the other tables are all rounds) and FI is totally against the idea–so I have no idea what we’ll do! Not eat?

  5. Member
    Mrs. Rubber Stamps 821 posts, Busy bee @ 3:10 pm

    All of those charts look confusing as heck! We kept things simple and had a sweetheart table for us, sat my mom & stepdad with his daughter and her kids, my attendants (bff & sister) sat with friends and my dad sat with his family. DH’s parents sat with his family.

    I hope everything works out once you have all the RSVPs in!

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