As the mother of the bride or groom, your child’s wedding is an extra exciting time. It’s an emotional, beautiful, awesome day to celebrate a new chapter in your child’s life, and of course you want to be a part of it all as much as possible.
In all of the excitement, though, it can be easy to accidentally behave in a way that’ll make you look more like a trouble-maker than a dream in-law. Avoid doing any of these things and you’ll start your mother-in-law reputation off right!
This one should be extremely obvious, we’d like to think, but it’s worth saying just in case: No one (and we do mean NO ONE) should wear white to a wedding besides the bride, unless directly asked to by the couple. So that definitely means that the mothers of the bride and groom should stay far, far away from this color! It’s a simple rule to follow, so it’s an easy way to make the couple happy on their big day.
Complain About Food/Gifts/Decor/ANYTHING
This wedding is probably the most exciting event in your child and their fiance’s life—something that has likely required months of preparation and tons of hard work. It’s also very possible that their choices might not be the ones you would make if you were running the show. That’s okay! But their wedding day (or leading up to it) isn’t the time to discuss your dislike for their dinner entree or flower choices. So you don’t care for gold and your child’s entire wedding is designed with a navy and gold theme? This is one of those times where it’s best to bite your tongue and go with the flow—if it suits the style of the couple and it makes them happy, then it does only harm to say you don’t care for it. Just smile and be happy that they’ve planned a wedding that they love!
Weddings are exciting, memorable events and it’s only natural that attending a wedding may make you think of other ones you’ve been to, but publicly comparing aspects of your child’s wedding to another event you’ve attended can make everyone feel like you are making a value judgment. Although you may very well just be trying to make conversation about Cousin Susie’s gown or bouquet, that comment may lead the engaged couple to think you’re making a comparison and implying that Susie’s event was better or more beautiful or more fun than theirs. It’s best to focus on the day at hand and save party comparisons for conversations with others at a later date.
Comment Negatively On the Couple’s Appearance
Similar to comments about other elements of the wedding being different from your tastes, a wedding is absolutely not the time to comment about anyone’s appearance—especially the couple! You may very well dislike the choice of tie, dress, or hairstyle, but if your child and their partner are happy about how they look, that should be the most important thing! There isn’t anything more disheartening than preparing for your wedding only to hear a negative comment about your looks from your mother or mother-in-law to be! Obviously if there’s something that genuinely needs to be fixed—like there’s something in the bride’s teeth!—that would be appropriate to point out, but otherwise? Keep any opinions on the looks of the couple or their bridal party to yourself.
Focus the Day On Anyone But the Couple
With so many friends and family members attending a wedding, it can be tempting to take over and make the event about reuniting with relatives, matchmaking acquaintances, or trying to run the show yourself. A contentious mother of the bride or groom knows, however, that the focus should be on the love of the happy couple and the event that they want to have for that day! Obviously everyone should enjoy each other’s company and party until the cows come home, but make sure you keep the overall attention and focus on the couple getting married and everyone will be happier for it!
There you have it: the five things a mother of the bride or groom should never do! If you avoid these pitfalls and continue to show your love and support for the engaged couple throughout the process, you’ll be maintaining a great relationship with your child and starting off your new relationship with their spouse as a total rock star Mother-in-Law!