Enjoying Intimacy After Menopause

Older couple

Sex after menopause can be uncomfortable. The loss of estrogen and progesterone in a woman’s following menopause can cause many changes that affect sex drive. It’s common to experience loss of interest and dryness and you may find you are less sensitive to touching and stroking. A drop in estrogen can cause less blood flow to the vagina, affecting vaginal lubrication. On the other hand, dryness isn’t necessarily from lack of interest. It is a symptom of menopause along with the night sweats, nausea, depression, irritability, reduced sex drive, and many more. I could go on and on with a list of symptoms, but the more important focus is what you can do about it.

Make Yourself More Comfortable

Lubrication will become your best friend to combat dryness. Don’t be afraid to try some that warm when applied, taste good to your partner, or even are plain old water soluble lubrication you can buy at any department store. Many of these are available at your local pharmacy, or you buy them discreetly online through several websites.


Use Toys

Find some toys that excite you when used. This can include dildos that have clitoris stimulators, plain dildos, butterfly clitoris stimulators, nipple clamps, and so on. Check things out on websites that specialize in selling them.

Dildos can be for more than just yourself. Some varieties utilize a vibrating function as well, and when used by you or your partner, they can simulate intercourse even before it has begun and in conjunction with a stimulator, might be just the ticket you need to have an orgasm.

Orgasm is your ultimate goal, at least one. Don’t be afraid to want it and communicate with your partner what you need to obtain it. This is the checkered flag at the end of the race and will provide a more enjoyable experience for both of you. There is also nothing wrong with wanting more than one.

Try Something New

Relax and have fun with it. Your body is made to enjoy sex. I know, I know. People don’t always talk about it in a way that makes it seem like it’s something you were supposed to like, but it is. An awesome sex life can be the best thing in the world and after menopause, it can be even better if done right. No kids to worry about. No problem with getting pregnant (although this can happen in rare cases). You can be inventive to help things along, too. Try new things, new positions, new stimulators, and open your mind to loving sex.

Don’t Forget the Intimacy

Older couple

Take the time to talk to your partner. Make sure they know what feels good and what doesn’t because this may have changed, even if you’ve been together for a long time. Try something different if your old ways aren’t working and keep your partner in the loop! Don’t be embarrassed by what turns you on. It may be fantasies; for example, many women find reading romance with a bit of open door sex gets them in the mood. Act out a scene from one of the books that you enjoy. This can be exciting to your partner, too. Whatever it is, just keep the communication channel open and never forget the reason you’re together: you love one another.

Help Your Partner

Menopause can be a defining moment for many women. They realize they’ve put their sex lives and their enjoyment of intimacy on the back burner while raising their family or working at their career, but the stability that often comes with age often relieves this stress and opens up possibilities. Women can also experience an increased sex drive after menopause. However, sometimes you and your sex drive are not the issue.

“What if I find I want more sex, but my partner is unable to perform?” Always make sure you have an open relationship with your partner so that both of you feel comfortable talking about problems that may arise.

Doctor and man

With male partners, a physical exam may show that they have low testosterone. Fatigue, decreased sex drive, depression, irritability, hair loss, increased body fat, decreased bone mass, and mood changes are all symptoms of low testosterone in men. Fortunately this is treatable with medication if you know to look for it. There are creams, injections, and pills, all with varying degrees of effectiveness based on their absorption within in the body. Note that you will need to be careful being around creams and injections due to possible absorption into your own bloodstream. Whether you’re male or female, this can throw your own hormones out of balance. High testosterone levels in women can cause several things as well include baldness, low libido, irregular menstrual cycles, acne, and blood sugar swings. While high levels can be caused by other things, it can be from contact with a medicated cream.

Dealing with changes after menopause is an ongoing problem for women. Be open to experimenting with things you might enjoy and remember to love who you are and what you like. There is nothing wrong with adventuring into the unknown when it comes to intimacy.

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