How to Deal with Pre-Wedding Overwhelm

A young woman holding her head with her eyes closed.

Planning and preparing for a wedding can make even the most calm, cool, and collected person start to feel stressed out and overwhelmed—but you don’t have to stay that way. If you’re feeling some impending stress and anxiety about your big day, use these tips to help calm yourself down and get back into the joyful spirit for your wedding!

Know That Feeling Stressed Is Normal

While not every person finds the time leading up to their wedding to be stressful, many do. It’s important to know this because sometimes it can actually add to the stress to feel like something is wrong with you for not enjoying this exciting time of your life. Not everyone enjoys planning a major event—which is exactly what you’re doing—and if that’s you, it’s completely normal to be overwhelmed and stressful. Take comfort in the fact that you are certainly not alone and don’t be afraid to reach out to your married friends and family members about your stressors; you might be surprised to hear that your feelings are very much shared with those who went through the same process.

Take Time Every Day to Decompress

A young woman doing yoga in front of an outdoor patio.

Along those same lines, don’t be afraid to take some intentional time to decompress and do some general stress management. Maybe you should take a weekend away by yourself for some time alone. Even small adaptations to your daily life like using a meditation app, practicing yoga, or gratitude journaling can take you out of that anxiety-ridden headspace and get you into a healthy mindset. Giving yourself space and time to unwind is essential to everyday life, and is especially so when you’re making such massive plans and doing so much coordinating. Let yourself take that time, guilt-free!

Remember Why You’re Planning a Wedding

A young man and woman standing in front of a lake watching the sun set.

At the end of the day, all of this planning and all of this time are about one thing: you and your partner entering into marriage. That is the most important thing. It can be so easy to get wrapped up in table settings and themed colors and favor selections, but the only thing that really matters, really truly matters, is celebrating the marriage itself. When you start to feel like you’re going down the path of overwhelm, remind yourself of the true priority. Sometimes shifting your focus for only a few minutes can help bring you out of that negativity and distraction and back into celebrating what matters most.

Consider Paring Down Your Big Day

If you realize that the type or size of the wedding you’ve been planning might actually be causing the majority of your stress, it’s perfectly acceptable to change your plans. Maybe the best course of action for you and your partner is to pare down the big wedding and have a small ceremony, with a reception to follow later so you can feel more relaxed. Maybe you’d even prefer to elope with close family or just your partner. Your wedding has to be suited to you and your fiancé—no one else—and if paring down the celebration will reduce stress and make you happy and excited about your big day again, it might just be the right call!

Take Extended Time Away from Wedding Planning

A woman relaxing in front of a pool.

Since wedding planning is a major affair, it can be difficult to not fall into wedding talk in every conversation and at every event—but don’t be afraid to give yourself some space from it! Make a date with your fiance where you agree not to talk about your wedding plans or future married life at all. Have a girls day with friends where you all agree the topics of bouquets and bridesmaid dresses are off-limits. Sometimes letting yourself enjoy things that have nothing to do with your big plans can give yourself a bigger picture view of things.

Get Help From a Professional Counselor

All of the techniques above are great ideas to help calm your pre-wedding overwhelm, but if you find the feelings are overtaking your life or that you can’t seem to get a handle on them no matter how hard you try, it may be time to seek the professional help of a counselor. There is no shame in using those services, and a professional will be able to work with you to figure out the best solution. You do not have to go through depression or anxiety alone, so if you feel like these emotions are unhealthy, absolutely seek help from someone who can give you the personalized care you deserve!

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