Should You Move in Together Before or After the Wedding?

moving in together

Deciding to move in with your partner before the wedding is a choice that should be made as a couple, depending on both of your beliefs and values. However, if you are still finding yourself questioning whether cohabitation before marriage is a good idea for your situation, here a few things you might want to consider.

Reasons to Wait Till After the Wedding

Religious Reasons

In almost every major world religion, cohabitation, which is two unmarried individuals sharing a household and bed, is prohibited or discouraged, and pre-marital sex is considered a sin. Although cohabitation has been growing in popularity over the last few decades among modern couples, there are still many people who prefer to follow their religious beliefs and wait until after marriage.

Cramped Quarters

Many young individuals just starting out in life live in smaller homes, such as a bachelor pad or a one-bedroom apartment, if they’re even moved out from their parents house at all (in which case, cohabiting might not be an option at all). If your personal living space is already small, having your fiance move in with you can feel a little claustrophobic, depending on your living arrangements and preferences. Especially if both of you have full sets of furniture that you now have to squeeze into one home. Just think, you’ll have to split every thing in half! Unless the two of you go house or apartment shopping before the wedding for your perfect joint home, your small space might be a little too small for two people.

It Could be More Special

Moving in together is always a special event for any couple no matter when it takes place, but some couples might find it to be even more special after their weddings.

Reasons to Move in Together Before the Wedding

Get Better Acquainted

Being with someone and living with someone are entirely different. What someone does in his or her own home is much different from what he or she will do at another person’s house because obviously people are a lot more comfortable in their own personal spaces. Living together is the best way to really get to know someone: habits, routines, quirks, and preferences. A lot of people feel that moving in together before marriage is the best way to really get to know each other before they take the leap.

An Ultimate Test

Since a lot of people view moving in together as a great way to get to know each other, a lot of people also feel like it’s the perfect test before marriage. Even though a couple might work great together out in the world, in their own home it could be a completely different story. Is one person a clean-freak and the other a slob? One a nighthawk and the other an early-bird? Learning how to work as a team, compromise, and adapt routines to live comfortably and peacefully with each other takes a lot of work, patience, and love. So, some people feel it’s a good idea to test the waters before they commit to one another.

Less Pressure

There’s a lot of pressure when it comes to marriage. Most people expect things to go perfectly when they first get together, which is a completely ridiculous thing to aim for. Still, they have high hopes. Moving in together before the wedding allows a couple time to settle in and work out the kinks before they enter married life, when all of their friends and family will be watching and wondering how things are going. The pressure of being the perfect husband or wife in addition to the expectations that the couple puts on themselves might be easier managed before getting married.

Financial Reasons

Weddings are expensive, no doubt. Even small weddings can cost thousands of dollars. Living together before marriage can help the engaged couple save money, especially if the costs of maintaining two separate apartments (rent, utilities, etc.). Moving in together and having to split the bills in half can force a couple to sit down and have that dreaded talk about money and help them figure out how they’re going to handle their finances as a couple, which is a conversation you really want to have before the wedding.

In the End, Does It Matter?

Some people believe that it doesn’t matter if a couple experiments with living together beforehand—that if they’re going to make it as a married couple, they will, and if it wasn’t meant to be, then it won’t be.

What it all comes down to is what feels right for the couple. Some people prefer to wait, and others might choose to jump in and start living together.

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