The Pros and Cons of the Reception “Quickie”

A bride and groom holding hands and walking in a field.

Isn’t it strange that, for an event all about you and your partner, the two of you barely get to spend a second alone on your big day? Sure, the ceremony is lovely and heartfelt, your first dance is romantic, and you get to jet off into the (metaphorical or otherwise) sunset together at the end. However, all those “intimate” declarations of love are on full display during your wedding. Whether you invited 10 or 300 guests, you’ll have an audience for the majority of the day. Many experts, however, recommend taking some well-deserved time to decompress with your new spouse during your nuptials in one way or another. Take a stroll during your first look, find a moment right after you walk out of your ceremony, or (perhaps the most popular) carve out a few moments during your reception.

A number of couples who take advantage of some quality time during their reception often sneak off to grab some food or simply talk about the day’s events with their new spouse. Of course, there are a select few who crave something a bit more adventurous for this private rendezvous. Yes, folks—I’m talking about gettin’ down in your gown (ahem, having sex with your new spouse during your wedding). Finding a truly private place at your wedding venue can be tricky, but if you manage to find yourself a hotel bedroom or the like, it could be a tempting option. But! Before you get too romantic, it would behoove you to check out the pros and cons of this sensual intermission.

The Pros of the Reception Quickie

It Can Relieve Wedding Day Stress

Following months (and sometimes years) of wedding planning, what better catharsis could you ask for? No doubt that certain elements of the big day have been anxiety-producing, especially the ceremony, wherein more tradition and formality come into play. All that tension has to cause the exploration of different alternatives, right? It would seem that sex would be the perfect relief.

It Can Add a Different Vibe to Your Day

A bride and groom kissing in front of leafy green foliage and purple flowers.

The wedding ceremony can be beautiful and incredibly heartfelt…but sometimes you just want to feel a bit more like a teenager with your new spouse. Change up the atmosphere of the day and keep things interesting with a bit of loving between wedding events.

While You Have the Energy…

Even today, many couples put their sexual hopes and dreams upon the wedding night. Though it’s not frequently each person’s “first time” nowadays, the expectations of the romance and sexual intimacy that will occur post-reception are still high. However, the wedding reception can tucker people out pretty quickly, and some sleepy (and perhaps intoxicated) newlyweds are disappointed in the fact that they can’t consummate the marriage on the wedding night as planned.

The Cons of the Reception Quickie

You May Run out of Steam for the Rest of the Evening

While you’re soaring with energy post-ceremony, a fast, sexual tryst could drain you of it all. Depending on the level of vigor the encounter required, you and your darling spouse may be quite exhausted ahead of your reception (which, in many situations, is the liveliest aspect of the wedding day). You still have dances and speeches to come, so getting a new boost of energy—an extra shot of caffeine from your caterer, perhaps?—will be key.

Wedding Attire Is…Complicated

A bride and groom running down the sidewalk.

Though one of you may simply have pants, the other might have a bustled, tight-fitting, or multi-layered gown with which to contend. While ripping off clothing is sexy, attempting to shrug off made-to-order wedding outfits is less so—not to mention the nightmare that may come when it’s time to redon this garb before heading into your own reception. Logistically, this may be a bit of a tornado-like nightmare.

You May Have Guests Wondering Where you Are

Maybe the unluckiest scenario when incorporating the reception “quickie” into your calendar is the inquiry of others. You and your new spouse are naturally the guests of honor at this soirée and people are going to miss your presence. If this “quickie” turns into a “medium-y” or, heaven-forbid, a “long-y,” your dearly beloved attendees are going to miss you and begin to question where you are. In any other scenario, I’d advise you to let people speculate, but during an event wherein you’ll likely have a few elderly relatives and both sets of parents present…well, it’s best not to disturb the good sense of the crowd.

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