Sex. It’s been said that this little word makes everything more complicated. If you’ve ever had sex, you know this to be true. There’s a little bit more to doing the deed than just mashing two bodies together. There are quite a few emotions that bubble under the surface of a purely physical act. So how do you keep you and your partner on the right sexual track when even the healthiest couples sometimes struggle with their sex lives? Well one of the first steps to having the best sex life is being open and honest so you reading this right now is a good first step! Peruse below the best tips for a healthy sex life and keep both layers, the emotional and physical, right on track.
How will you know what your partner truly is comfortable with if you don’t talk openly? It can be really hard with some partners. When it comes to sex, everyone’s a little uneasy. If you’re not the prude type, your partner might be. So, what if your partner clams up every time you want to talk sex? Here’s the real truth: they have to open up at least a little bit. Sex can be one of the biggest parts of your relationship, so shouldn’t you be talking about that too? Now there is a limit here. If you make your sex life a chore, it won’t seem fun anymore. That’s the last thing you want. You just need enough of an open channel that either of you feel comfortable bringing up any of your boundaries, likes, or needs.
Speaking of communicating boundaries, you have to have them. Boundaries are important in a relationship and they’re just as, if not more, important in the bedroom. Keep in mind the differences between you and your partner. Not everyone’s wishes and desires are the same. This is also true in the bedroom. Your partner may be into something you’re just not comfortable with. You need to let them know it’s a hard no from you. If you think you can just suffer through it to please them, you’re doing you and your partner a disservice. Over time, you’re not going to really enjoy sex anymore. No one wants to feel like what they do in the bedroom upsets their partner. It’s much better to risk disappointing your partner and having firm boundaries. This way you ensure both parties enjoy the act equally and fairly.
Embracing Something New
Having boundaries doesn’t mean you have to be boring. On the contrary, once you have boundaries you can be even more open to trying new things. You know exactly where your lines are, which ones are semi crossable, and which aren’t at all. With this in mind, don’t be afraid to try something out. Not only will newness keep things exciting in the bedroom, it will help you and your partner bond sexually. As long as you’re exploring in a healthy way, with lots of communication while being mindful of boundaries, the new should bring nothing but joy into the mix.
Most of us have had multiple sexual partners in some sense. One of the most definitive ways to make sure your sex life is healthy is to be healthy in the body. You should know whether you have any STIs or any other issues. You can’t know whether you or your partner’s body is healthy if you don’t get tested. Nowadays especially, with most people having multiple sexual partners, it’s very important to get tested regularly. Do this as a couple. Knowing exactly where you both stand physically will give you a peace of mind that is priceless.
Believe it or not, one of the biggest areas of worry and struggle within a sex life is birth control. How are you and your partner taking precautions? If you’re trying to have a baby, then great! You don’t need to worry about this issue, but for a lot of people it’s a huge stress on the mind. Anything that’s weighing on your mind is going to drive a wedge between you and the great sex you want to have. To alleviate any worries, make sure you and your partner agree on a strategy and always follow through. If you don’t believe in birth control then make sure you and your partner are on the same page about this as well. Don’t let contraception be the gear in the cogs that upsets the balance of your healthy sex life.
Trust is a Must
Find new ways to trust each other. You want a healthy sex life, you need to make sure your relationship is healthy too. To have great sex, you have to put a great deal of trust in your partner. You’re trusting them to love you and not judge you, respect your boundaries, etc. If there is a part of you that doesn’t trust your partner or vice versa, your sex life will suffer. To keep yourselves in the right mind frame, find new ways to trust each other. Stand by what you say. Make little promises to each other and then keep them no matter what. It doesn’t have to be anything huge. Just say for instance, “I’m bringing dinner home,” and then do it. Show your partner that you do what you say. Keep trust in mind and a great sex life is not far off.
There is a pattern to these tips. Pretty much anything you do to keep your relationship healthy is required for sex as well. A lot of people think of sex and the rest of their relationship as separate entities, but it’s just not true. The two intertwine and seriously affect one another. If the relationship is not good, the sex won’t be. Whether we want to believe it or not, sex is an emotional thing. We make our lives what we want them to be. Take charge of your emotional and sexual well-being and everything should be fine.