Wedding Night Jitters

A couple embrace in bed

Virgin or not, the wedding night conjures up all kinds of excitement and nervous energy. This is the night, the one you’ve been anticipating for a long time, so it’s only natural that you want everything to be perfect.

Whether you’ve never slept together before or you’ve slept together a thousand times, everyone wants his or her wedding night to go smoothly. Remember, even if something doesn’t go 100 percent perfectly on your wedding night, it doesn’t mean that your marriage or your sex life is doomed. The best way to really get rid of the wedding night jitters is to be open and honest with your spouse and talk about what your expectations and anxieties are. Above all, remember to have fun and try to relax. Sex isn’t the most important aspect of marriage or the wedding night, but it’s certainly one that should be enjoyed and savored.

Let’s talk about all the ways to make your wedding night memorable.

It Doesn’t Have to be Outrageous

Despite what you’ve seen in movies and read about in books, your wedding night doesn’t have to be completely over-the-top with rose petals, champagne, and candles everywhere. The two of you have just made a commitment to spend your lives together—the romance element takes care of itself.

A couple laughs together in bed

Of course, making your wedding night a little extra special is a good plan. However,you don’t have to feel like there is a requirement to put on a big production. On the flip side, don’t be disappointed if your new husband or wife hasn’t arranged for all of the bravado you might be expecting. Just being together is what matters the most.

Book a Nice, Comfortable Hotel Suite

Even if you’re not going on a honeymoon, you should still enjoy your wedding night in style. If it’s in your budget, book a suite at the fanciest hotel in town, or make arrangements to stay at a bed and breakfast. Ask the receptionist if they have a special deal for honeymooners. They might have a romantic package that includes champagne, rose petals, or something else special for newlyweds.

Above all, make sure the room is private. Put up the Do Not Disturb sign so that no one knocks on the door wanting to change out your towels, killing the mood in the process.

Wear Something Special for the Occasion

You’ll already be wearing your wedding gown when you get to your hotel room, but have something in your suitcase that’s ready to go for the wedding night. Many brides take this opportunity to wear the lingerie that they got from their friends at the bachelorette party.

A bride and groom kiss on a bed

Wearing sexy lingerie will make you feel more confident, and your new spouse will definitely enjoy it as well. Not into lingerie? Just ditch it for wearing absolutely nothing at all. The response will be overwhelming.

Plan for Protection

For all the virgins out there, it’s important to think about what kind of protection you’ll want to use on the wedding night. If you’re planning on taking birth control, be sure to plan ahead to allow time for it be effective. Generally, it takes about five to seven days after taking the pills to protect you from an unplanned pregnancy. Visit your OBGYN a couple of months ahead of your wedding to talk to them about your contraception options.

If you choose not to take birth control, be sure that you have planned for other forms of protection like condoms. It’s good to have a frank discussion with your future spouse ahead of the wedding night on how you would like to prevent pregnancy, unless you plan on starting a family right away.

Take a Few Minutes to Calm Down

If you’re feeling pretty nervous about the wedding night, do a few de-stressing activities to calm down. Light some candles, have a glass of wine, do some yoga, or snuggle on the couch and watch a movie with your new spouse.

There’s no rush. You don’t have to cross the threshold into your hotel room and immediately pounce on each other—unless you want to! You have all night, so it’s fine to take it slow. You can take your time to get to the main event.

A happy couple in bed together

It’s Perfectly Fine to Not Have Sex On Your Wedding Night

Yeah, we said it. Listen, you’re probably going to be tired as a dog on the night of your wedding. You’ve probably been up since the crack of dawn primping and making last-minute arrangements. You’ve also been working hard to plan this wedding for the last year (or more), so it’s completely understandable if you don’t want to seal the deal on your wedding night.

In fact, according to an article on Women’s Health Magazine, 52 percent of couples said in a survey that they didn’t have sex on their wedding nights. Most of them were either too tired, too drunk, or wanted to keep the party going with their friends.

The great thing about sex is that it has no expiration date. It will be just as good the day after the wedding!

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