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I had no clue that I was a bridezilla. It seems like such a mean word and may bring to mind an image of a growling (but beautiful!) creature screaming at the wedding party and crying over wilted flowers. You may think this could never be you—but you just might be wrong. Many brides morph into this scary creature without even realizing it. Here’s a few ways to tell if you’re becoming a bridezilla.
Wedding planning can be stressful and take up a lot of time, but once it actually takes over your life, get ready to be called a bridezilla. If a conversation with friends over the best type of pizza or latest Netflix shows to watch slowly turns to you talking about pizza at weddings and the best wedding episodes of TV shows, you’ve already started to turn. You may find yourself canceling plans to research wedding invitations or the perfect shoes for your dress. You may neglect your tasks at work to scan Pinterest and other sites for wedding ideas. Suddenly, your deadline is approaching and your boss is breathing down your neck, but you think to yourself, “Oh, well! You’re too busy designing wedding programs!” Of course, you need to make time to plan and brainstorm, but be careful to retain balance between your everyday life and the upcoming wedding.
It’s easy to forget that it isn’t just your wedding. Remember, you’re actually marrying someone! When I was wedding planning, my fiancé picked out these horrendous shoes for himself and the groomsmen. I was mortified at what they would look like in photos. It was hard to let go of my idea of the perfect black, shiny shoe, but then it finally hit me that it was his wedding as well. He needed to make some decisions as well, even if I hated them. If you’re making a playlist for the DJ and “forget” to ask your future spouse if they have any ideas, your claws are already showing.
You’ve hired vendors and even a wedding planner, but you take time out of your day, multiple times, to contact them and ensure things are on track. After all, you need to know your photographer better be researching how to photograph your best side. And the florist better not be trying to pass an ivory flower off as a white flower. However, to avoid being a bridezilla, you have to trust the team you’ve hired to make the best decisions. If you don’t stop micromanaging and fail to trust them at their job, you may get pushed down the line in favor of a more reasonable client.
If your bridesmaids stop responding to your dozens of emails and silence your text threads, you may be a bridezilla. If you find yourself snapping at them over the deadline for getting that perfect manicure, it’s time to go back in your cage. Bridesmaids have their own lives besides getting ready for your big day. Don’t put too much on their plate, or your friendships may suffer. Believe me—I got so crazy over worrying about my bachelorette party date that I was texting one of my bridesmaids about it on the day she got engaged, but she couldn’t care less at that point about my wedding when she had her own celebration to attend to.
A wedding is an event. Granted, it could be one of your biggest dreams coming to life, but it’s still an event. Don’t forget why it’s taking place. When you start ignoring your fiancé to browse wedding websites and rearrange the seating chart for the third time, the bridezilla begins to rise. Your fiance is probably very considerate of your dreams and wants you to have the best day ever, but they also want to marry you. Let them in on the fun of planning, and then spend some uninterrupted time together where the word “wedding” doesn’t come up at all. Remember why you are getting married in the first place, and don’t let the details of an event distract you from the relationship that started it all.
The food at your reception is one of the things wedding guests look forward to most. Will they get a steak dinner, some mac and cheese, or just good ol’ cake and punch? One of the most popular things to do for food at weddings is having multiple action stations. These are areas where a chef prepares food in a small area. This food are usually smaller in portion and bigger in taste. Here’s some pros and cons to action stations at your wedding reception.
We had one of those weddings where you expect a catered dinner. Well, after sitting down to plan that menu, the food totaled to about $17,000. We didn’t want to spend that much, so our wedding planner started talking about action stations. They cut down on cost because they provide smaller portions to just grab and go. A seated dinner is usually more money as you are shelling out cash for meat and side dishes for every person, which drives up the cost. The cost is not as much at action stations because not every single person will want food from each station.
Action stations aren’t boring. The best thing about them is you get to eat things you don’t usually eat every day. For instance, some of the food we served at our wedding action stations were truffle mac n’ cheese bites and mini quiche. One of the best choices we made when it came to action stations was having a mashed potato bar. It’s so much fun to get to dress up your mashed potatoes with all sorts of fun toppings. Sushi is also a popular choice, as well as pasta stations with all sorts of sauce toppings. Action stations give guests options so they can play with different food pairings. You might not usually pair sushi with chicken fajitas, but action stations allow you to pick up two pieces of sushi and one fajita for the perfect little plate. Then, you get to go for the dessert action stations. How about a flaming chocolate concoction? It’s all up to the chef to have a little fun with their selections.
Action stations allow the guests to really dive into the food selection. Many times, the chef is preparing the food right there in front of people so there is more interaction between the chefs and the wedding guests, and well as more interaction with the food itself. Compared to a seated dinner, action stations are more about having fun with your meal. The chef can guide you through the best taste selections as well.
Some guests are ready to devour the food right when they get to the reception, while others want to mix and mingle before diving in. Action stations allow guests to decide when they want to roam around to the stations and eat. They can even go after having a few dances. Most of the time, the action stations don’t stay open throughout the entire reception, but do allow ample time for guests to meet and greet.
I said before that action stations usually cut down on the budget, but it can get out of hand if you aren’t careful. Adding chefs often adds to the catering costs. Just be sure you aren’t adding too many action stations that require you to pay over your budget for each chef. Sometimes action stations don’t even require chefs if the venue brings the food into the action station. This is especially true for things like finger foods or basic things like mashed potatoes. (The chef doesn’t need to mash the potatoes right in front of you, right?!)
Some guests expect to be treated with a served meal at a wedding. They don’t want the hassle of having to get up, stand in lines, and get their own food. It’s great to be served a fancy meal complete with a roll on the side, but guests need to remember they might not like everything the couple chooses to serve them at a traditional wedding dinner. Action stations are more about picking and choosing your food rather than having a set menu in place.
If you’re going to have action stations, make sure there is enough room in the venue to space them out. Sometimes, people begin to gather around the action station to watch the chef prepare food, and not notice the line forming behind them. You want guests to be able to pick up their food and either move on to the next action station or go back to their seat. People are usually hungry when it comes time for the reception, so they might just push you out of the way to get to the mini slider—and you don’t want a fight to break out!
Wedding favors have taken over a drawer in my kitchen. As I rummage through the drawer, I come across Koozies, wine openers, bubbles, and all sorts of little random things with couple’s names strewn across them. Wedding favors often become something we just stash away. Are they really necessary?
Historically, the etiquette of wedding favors began as a way to express gratitude to guests for their time and effort honoring the couple’s union. Centuries ago, wedding favors were a box made of crystal or porcelain and filled with expensive treats. Today, not everyone is as wealthy as these European aristocrats. Today, the run the gamut from framed pictures of the couple to personalized candy. Are you really going to display a framed photo of your husband’s boss and his wife in your home? Are you excited to ruin your diet with those personalized jelly beans?
Wedding favors probably aren’t going to break a wedding budget, especially if you go for little ones in bulk. But a budget that’s already tight doesn’t need a few hundred dollars tacked on just to give people small gifts. Keep in mind that anything personalized is going to increase in cost. Even if you gave every guest a special piece of chocolate at their place setting, remember that you’re paying per guest. If you have a big wedding with over 200 guests, even a $1 piece of chocolate is going to add up. You’re already paying for your guests to eat, drink, and be merry. Is the absence of a small wedding favor going to ruin the experience for them? Probably not.
Chances are that at the end of the wedding day, there will be some favors left behind as the guests head home. Perhaps your guests will simply forget to grab their favor on their way out the door—or perhaps they left it behind intentionally. And then you’re stuck with stacks and stacks of candles with your name on them. (We had boxes of bubbles leftover from my dad’s wedding that just sat there. And unless you have toddlers who love to play with bubbles, you probably aren’t going to bust open those bubbles any time soon.) Favors are a fun idea that can add to a place setting, but they can get lost in the fray and can ultimately be wasted money.
If you do feel compelled to have wedding favors, going edible may be your best bet. Decades ago, guests took home pieces of wedding cake as their favor, but nowadays that usually gets inhaled at the reception with few leftovers. Instead, send guests home with cookies, candy, or even a Bloody Mary kit for their morning hangover. Perhaps the wedding is held in a region known for a certain culinary item you can gift, such as local citrus. We decided to do a candy “bar” for our wedding. Guests filled up little baggies full of all sorts of candy to take home. The best person to be when it comes to edible wedding favors is the last person at the wedding who notices any leftover goodies and gets to take home more than their intended share!
A warm, fuzzy feeling is one of the best gifts you can give a person. Instead of a physical wedding favor, make a donation to your favorite charity in your guests’ honor. Maybe you and your fiancé have a soft spot for animals and want to give to a local animal shelter. Or perhaps you have a close friend or family member with a disease you want to find a cure for. Whatever charity you decide upon, make sure to inform your guests of this in their program or at their dinner table so they know that in celebration of the new marriage, a donation has been made on their behalf. This helps the newlyweds know their money is going towards a good cause instead of directly in the trash, and the guests leave feeling happy they’ve helped change the world just a little bit. Instead of a magnet covered up on their refrigerator with all sorts of paperwork, their favor is helping a charity grow and change. Everyone wins!
Want to know how to make your relationship more satisfying and fulfilling? Once you know which love language your partner speaks, you have a cheat sheet to their heart. Yes, love is an actual language because not everyone shows it or accepts it in the same way. For example, your husband may feel the most loved when you cook dinner for him, while you couldn’t care less if he makes you a five-course meal. You may love taking walks on the beach sharing your heart, while your husband might feel like it’s just too much talking. Here’s a summary of the five different love languages, based on the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The idea is to decide which language fits each of you best via a quiz in the book. If you’ve been with your partner long enough, you may be able to guess based on the descriptions below which one they are!
This love language is about devoting time to someone without being preoccupied with something else. Quality time means going for a walk and just talking about the day. Have a meal together without the TV on or phones present. Set a scheduled “date night” every week, even if it’s only to run errands or go to the gym together. It’s hard in today’s world with the kids’ schedules, work, and home life to carve out attention and free time, but you have to make it a point when you’re married to someone whose love language is quality time. When you’re distracted or don’t listen to them, they can feel unloved.
You’ve heard the saying that actions speak louder than words. The people whose love language is acts of service appreciate and show their love best with actions. This may mean mowing the lawn, airing up the car tires, changing the baby’s diaper, or bringing home groceries. These acts require you to think about what your spouse would love to see done for them. It’s all about being positive and going beyond just saying you love to clean the bathroom. Of course, you probably don’t enjoy scrubbing bathroom sinks—but when you do it out of love, both you and your spouse feel good.
People who need words of affirmation to feel loved can appreciate even the most simple compliments or declarations of affection. They enjoy talking about feelings and find honesty in language. Something as simple as “You look pretty today” or “I love you so much” can go a long way toward making them feel satisfied in their relationship. On the other hand, negative speak will hurt them deeply. They take words to heart, so telling them, for example, that they didn’t clean the kitchen well can make them feel like a failure. Make it a daily habit to vocalize positive reinforcement and affection to your partner who needs words of affirmation.
Physical touch doesn’t mean what you think it means. Those that speak this love language find comfort in the tiniest of physical connections, including holding hands, shoulder rubs, and a quick peck on the cheek. Physical touch is all about feeling loved and secure through the physical presence of another. This can be a difficult love language to master if you’re not someone who easily receives touch; some are certainly more comfortable with the physical body than others. However, even the most simple of actions like the touch of a hand on their arm as your husband or wife walks by can be all it takes.
Those who speak the love language of receiving gifts feel loved the most when you extend to them a meaningful present. It isn’t about buying a new piece of jewelry every month to make them feel loved, but about making them feel appreciated even in the smallest of gestures. These people are usually those who are more visually-oriented. They like to see and physically feel a gift of love to be able to really feel the adoration. You don’t need to be the person who always has the most perfect gift at your husband’s birthday party or who shells out the most money to wow your wife during the holiday season. They just want your thoughts of them to come to life in physical form.
It’s a touchy subject. Your list of bridesmaids might already be sprawled across your wedding website or known among your inner circle—and then you have one drop out, leaving you in a conundrum. Asking “the next in line” if they will stand by your side is tricky. You want them to feel included and loved, yet you both know they weren’t in the first lineup. The good news is that you actually can have a loved one fill in and still not step on any toes.
I’ve been on both sides of this issue and realized it just isn’t that big of a deal. People will freak out, thinking you’re a horrible person asking someone to fill in, but they need to know every side of the story before judging. My good friend called me in a panic a few months before her wedding because one of her bridesmaids had to drop out, so my friend was genuinely asking me to step in. I truthfully did not feel offended. I actually felt special that I was even the next in line because I never expected to be a part of it at all. I have, however, expected to be in weddings when I ended up not being asked—so even to be asked as a backup is an honor.
I had a list for years of women who would be in my bridal party. Everyone knew my list! The problem is that not everyone’s life can revolve around the bride. When it finally came time for me to set a date, it happened to fall during an anniversary trip that one of my bridesmaids had booked a year prior. I didn’t panic, and instead asked a young family member to step in as “junior” bridesmaid. I knew she wouldn’t be able to attend the parties or be involved as much as an older bridesmaid, but I had no issue asking her to please join my “team.”
Asking someone to fill in might be offensive to some, so tread lightly but be honest. Explain to your friend that you love them very much, but just didn’t have enough room in your original wedding party. They probably already understand why they weren’t in the original wedding party; maybe you have a lot of close family members or had to include loved ones from your groom’s side. It will be understood that you didn’t edge them out just because you’re a mean person.
Think of a special and personal way to ask your friend to be in the wedding. This may include a handwritten card or letter. Making the question unique to them breaks the ice and lets them see how much they mean to you. They’ll also feel special knowing how much effort you put into asking them to be a part of your big day—even if it is after everyone else is asked.
Being a bridesmaid can get costly. Now, think about asking a bridesmaid to step in last-minute and then throwing numbers at her. Explain to your loved one filling in that you will pay for the dress or any other costs that come along like hair and/or makeup. They are already doing you a huge favor by joining your wedding party late in the game. While it’s an honor to be a bridesmaid, it’s also a lot of work to tend to the bride’s needs, help plan and/or attend all the parties, and commit at least an entire day, if not weekend, to the bride. Show her how much you treasure her presence and effort stepping into someone else’s shoes by taking some of the hassle off her plate.
Truthfully, no one can tell you how to approach this subject without knowing your friend’s personality. You know the best way to approach them with serious topics, so do what you have to, to make sure they will walk away feeling appreciated—and not like the last kid left during PE. Odds are, you’re going to have an amazing wedding party with everyone smiling and having a great time. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of that special moment whether they were picked first or last?
Wedding signs don’t have to be special ordered. If you’re on a budget or want a DIY project for your ceremony or reception, there are plenty of ways to create your own signage to fit your wedding theme. We’ve got a few fun ideas to add that special touch to your celebration without breaking the bank.
Plywood itself may seem boring, but dressing it up even minimally creates a great, simple sign look. With some paint and stencils, you’re ready to go. You can get any size of wood you need by either buying a large sheet or cutting it down. The best part is that plywood won’t break the bank and you can even place a few of these around your ceremony or reception for little cost.
Rope and twine provide a perfect blank canvas for a wedding. Simply shape the rope into fun words like “Just Married” or “Mr. and Mrs.” Hang them for photo ops or on the backs of chairs. It’s hard to make rope look perfect, so don’t fret if each letter isn’t exactly in place —just enjoy the imperfection!
Chalkboards are a fun way to add some art to your wedding, whether they’re used as a seating chart or to display a romantic quote or welcome message. These days, chalk markers can give a cleaner look to the lettering than plain ol’ chalk, and come in many colors (although white is classic).
The coolest thing about making wooden pallet signs is that shipping pallets can usually be found for free behind stores or by asking store owners. They also make a neat sign because you can write something different on each piece of the pallet, making a pretty design. Write out a schedule for the night, detail the menu, or pick out your favorite love quotes. The options are endless because you have natural separations where things can be written.
Antique window panes are one of the biggest trends in home decorating. They give off a classy, pretty feel. One great thing to do with a hanging window pane sign is write the seating list on it, with each pane used as a place to write all of the occupants of the table. Of course, you can also use the window pane for quotes or the program as well.
If you’re a wine drinker, save up those corks to create a sign. Spell out things in cork lettering or just decorate the exterior of a sign with cork for subtle touch. Simply glue the corks together. This idea is especially perfect if your wedding is held at a vineyard. No matter how big or small the sign, cork provides a clean, classic look.
You’ve seen this idea in movies as someone scribbles a love note on the bathroom mirror with lipstick. Use the same technique with a beautiful antique mirror and chalkboard markers to write a welcome note or romantic quote across the mirror’s surface. You can find these big, amazing mirrors at flea markets or thrift stores. Your grandmother may even have one she’s willing to let you borrow.
Burlap and rustic weddings go together like peanut butter and jelly. Best of all, burlap signage doesn’t have to include perfect lettering with expensive markers. All you need is burlap, a way to hang it, and paint to write out your message. Burlap is inexpensive and doesn’t have many rules. Somehow, it just always looks good without even trying.
Wedding bouquets never had set rules. In fact, they were born out of necessity. In the Middle Ages, brides carried bunches of spices and herbs to keep evil spirits away from their wedding. Bouquets of fragrant plants were also carried hundreds of years ago to mask body odor caused by infrequent bathing. The modern notion of carrying flowers down the aisle, however, began in the Victorian age with the marriage of Prince Albert and Queen Victoria. During this time, flowers were especially significant because each type of bloom had a special meaning and lovers sent them to one another based on sentiment. If the tradition of a floral bouquet doesn’t appeal to you, take a fun and non-traditional route with one of these alternatives.
Because of it’s simplicity, burlap is all the rage when it comes to rustic weddings. Creating flowers out of this fabric and bunching them together creates a pretty bouquet. Twine and rope can be used along the stems to bring the piece of art together. You could even piece in a few real flowers for more texture. Best of all, you can keep the burlap bouquet forever and even use it as a decoration in your home in remembrance of your wedding day.
Why carry flowers when you can bring back childhood with a bouquet of balloons? A few colorful balloons are an inexpensive alternative to flowers, which any bride knows can add a lot to the budget. Whether a wild helium balloon in the shape of something you love or a few colorful balloons tied around your wrist, the balloon bouquet gives a whimsical touch to any wedding.
Felt is a big trend with any type of artwork these days. As a material, felt is pretty, easy to work with, and available in many colors. Making a bouquet out of felt is a perfect DIY for the creative bride. Felt flowers are simply cut shapes placed together to make the perfect bloom—which can look pretty realistic! Like a bouquet made with burlap, the felt flower bouquet can be saved after the wedding as an heirloom piece.
If you’re having a western, rustic, or farm-themed wedding, you may want to consider crafting a bouquet out of leather. While this certainly isn’t an option for the vegetarian bride, it can work for those who want some contrast against their dress. Leather can make precise petals and leaves, and will look beautiful with some lace or softer fabric worked into the design.
This isn’t your everyday bouquet of paper flowers. This bouquet idea is a giant paper flower that certainly won’t get lost in the photos! Paper flowers are a growing DIY trend because they’re usually inexpensive and can be created with so many different colors and types of paper. Layers of tissue paper creating the blooms and leaves are a popular way to go that’s trendy, but pretty. Making these can be a party with your bridesmaids; it all comes together with a little glue and creativity.
A few years ago, KFC made headlines when they offered a fried chicken corsage. If you got hungry during prom, you just took a bite off your wrist! It sounds crazy, but people went wild for it. A New Jersey pizzeria decided this was genius and created a bouquet and a matching boutonniere out of pizza. The pizza was actually shaped like flowers with tomatoes as accents. The verdict is still out if the bride actually ran to the microwave after the wedding to indulge in her bouquet. (On the other hand, some people love cold pizza.)
A beach wedding calls for beautiful blooms that won’t melt and will stand out against the glistening water and sand. A bouquet made of seashells clustered together fits the bill. Work in some faux flowers for more color, or use spray paint on the shells if you don’t like the natural look. You can find a variety of seashells at craftstores, or use ones you’ve found on the beach yourself for free!
This might be one of the craziest ideas for a bouquet, but carrying a few mini stuffed animals or one big stuffed animal down the aisle can be fun and meaningful. One bride and her bridesmaids carried the same size of stuffed cats down the aisle because the bride loves cats and wanted to incorporate her animals in the wedding. Think of the smiles you’ll get walking down the aisle with a stuffed animal instead of flowers.
They’re a power couple that got engaged in front of thousands of people. They seem too good to be true… and they may just be. WWE Champion and movie star John Cena and WWE Diva Nikki Bella have been together on and off for six years. They were all set to wed in May 2018 when something fell apart. Lately however, it seems like they’re back together and planning their next steps. What went wrong? What’s going right? And will they make it down the aisle this time?
Cena and Bella knew one another years before going on a date. Afterall, they are both stars in the world of WWE so the circle isn’t too big. Soon they moved in together, but there was a catch. Cena gave Bella a contract to sign, sort of like a pre-nup for living together. He also put all his cards on the table telling her he would not have children. Bella was very open on her show, MTV’s Total Bellas, about wanting to be a mom and even going to therapy to deal with the fact she might not ever have that chance if she stayed with Cena.
The big proposal went down after the couple won at Wrestlemania 33. It was beautiful and perfect to the outside eye. Bella’s show was ready to cover the entire wedding. And then it somehow fell apart. Cena spoke highly of Bella in public appearances. He went on the Today Show proclaiming his love and support for her after the break up. She admitted on Total Bellas that this left her confused as they hadn’t spoken in person. Many believed one of the main reasons they cancelled the wedding was Cena’s decision not to have children. As this all unfolded, Cena proclaimed he would have a reverse vasectomy to save the relationship and start a family.
The most shocking thing that came from the entire debacle could be that the couple never truly broke up, or they never really got back together either. Nikki’s twin sister, Brie, came out publicly to say the romance is not fake and they did not break up for the show. Sources say they had to give up deposits for their May wedding and the show had to change its storyline for them.
On the other hand, the best drama is played out in front of an audience. It’s like watching a reality show in true form as the couple works through their differences to come back together. A happy couple just planning a wedding doesn’t always make for good TV. Soap operas reel in millions of viewers each day for this very reason. People like to be entertained by the drama of others. Most couples just don’t have their biggest fights and make the biggest decisions of their lives on camera. Their backup plan could have been to cover the couple in the aftermath anyway. However, both Cena and Bella swear it’s all real and they really are working on their relationship.
Before getting engaged and preparing to spend the rest of your life with someone, it’s imperative you have the talk about what you both want for the future. Too many couples fall apart thinking the other will change their views on big life decisions. If a significant other doesn’t want children or doesn’t want to work, decisions like these need to be all out on the table. Sometimes people change their minds as they grow and change while other times people get stuck in their ways and refuse to budge. This can lead to a gap in the marriage that cannot be mended and could lead to divorce.
In this case, sources say Cena’s vasectomy was something he wasn’t ready to reverse. While Bella wanted children in the future, his mind was decided. If sources are correct, after they broke off the engagement they really hit the conversation hard and knew they wanted to still be together. Cena then decided he would reverse his vasectomy to have children in the future. If this conversation and love was recognized earlier, they wouldn’t have to go through all of this heartache. Communicating with your future spouse is one of the most important things about your life together. Without communication too much important information falls through the cracks leading to conflict.
No one knows exactly what the future holds for the two lovebirds. Many believe they have enough love to stay together forever despite their different opinions on life. Others believe it’s simply too much to work through. John Cena and Nikki Bella live their life in the spotlight, and so every move they make is scrutinized and/or glorified. The two probably need some time alone, away from the cameras, to truly make some life changing decisions together. Whatever they decide, their fans will be watching and hoping for a fairy tale wedding for the wrestling couple.
Whether you’re in a wedding or going to one, there’s something here for everyone. Find support, ask questions, swap stories, and follow brides planning real weddings here on Weddingbee.
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