Alternatively titled: “My Irrational Fear of Having Kids in the Wedding Party”
Sooooo, basically I never, ever, EVER thought I would include flower girls or ring bearers in my wedding day.
Although kids are, in fact, absolutely adorable, I just never really envisioned them being involved in my wedding. This probably stems from the fact that as a guest at weddings in the past, every time the bride and groom had flower girls or ring bearers, inevitably I’d be distracted by whatever the kids were doing instead of paying attention to the happy couple’s vows. They’d start crying, or sit down at the front of the church, lift up their dresses, and show their undergarments to everyone in attendance, wouldn’t stand still, would start talking right in the middle of the ceremony, would pick their nose, play with the basket or pillow or whatever they were holding”¦you get the picture; it goes on and on. And I don’t expect little kids to be able to handle the flower girl/ring bearer job flawlessly. When you’re five years old, standing in front of a huge group of people for 20 minutes probably is the last thing you’d want to be doing, and I don’t fault them for it. In fact, I’ve come to expect ceremony shenanigans when kids are part of the wedding party. It just comes with the territory, basically. And I knew I didn’t really want those shenanigans at my wedding.
Imagine my surprise, then, when my dear, sweet Mr. A (who hasn’t had a strong opinion on anything wedding related so far except for food decisions) admitted to me that he really, really wanted flower girls at the wedding. He called them “little girl ring bearers,” but I knew what he meant. And at first I resisted a little. But then I realized that this was the first time he had verbalized having a strong opinion on any of the wedding-day details, and I had to take a step back and reconsider my prejudice against kids in wedding parties. If Mr. A really wanted flower girls at our wedding, who was I to say no? After all, I do always smile when flower girls come down the aisle at weddings. Flower girls are adorable. How could they not be?
So, in the end, I agreed to the “little girl ring bearers,” and we’ll be having two wonderful little girls in our wedding party whose parents are over the moon with excitement that we asked them to be a part of the ceremony. One is BM Mascara’s daughter, and the other is the daughter of Mr. A’s childhood youth pastor. Both the girls are the same age and same size, and I think they’re going to look absolutely adorable coming down the aisle together at the ceremony. We found them matching dresses from a seller on eBay, and they look adorable on the girls! We’re replacing the ivory flowers on the sash with purple flowers from Dessy that match the fabric and color of the bridesmaids’ dresses and Mr. A’s tie:
Dupioni swirl flower in “Dahlia” for the flower girls’ sashes / Screen capture from Dessy
To combat my irrational fear of the girls causing distractions during the ceremony, we’ll have a parent of each of the girls waiting at the end of the aisle to escort them back to their seats after they complete their jobs of scattering rose petals all along the pathway to the front of the church. This way, Mr. A gets his flower girls, and I get my peace of mind. Score! I’m actually really excited about it all. They’re going to look so cute!
Are you having kids in your bridal party? How do you feel about flower girls/ring bearers causing major distractions during the ceremony? What were some of the things your significant other spoke up about during the wedding-planning process?