This is the last installment in my series (my apologies if you’re ready for me to move on by now).
That said, if you want to read what else happened during my “My Wedding Dress Doesn’t Fit, and I Feel Crazy, But My Shower Rocked, What a Weekend Baby” posts, then you can catch up now!
First, I showed off my White House Black Market shower dress, then I booked a florist and forced Sister Big Eyes and Mom Sword to make tartan fabric boutonnieres, and finally I shared all about my shower!
As I’ve already shared the good, it’s time to progress to the bad and the downright ugly.
My dress, lovingly referred to as Evie, arrived in late August, but I wasn’t able to schedule an appointment to pick her up until October. NO PROBLEM. Mom Sword and I showed up at 5 PM snagging one of the last appointments of the day. I was a wee bit hangry which put me off to a bad start, but BM L Dawg had encouraged me to skip on a pre-fitting snack and I’m glad she did!
This is what I looked like before my appointment:
This is what I looked a mere ten minutes later:
Evie didn’t zip up, hive. Well, that’s not entirely true. Here’s the whole (ugly) story:
When I first ordered my dress, I was encouraged to buy a strapless bra that would be sewn into the dress to keep the MN twins in check. Well, both bra and dress were in my room when I arrived, so I put on the strapless bra first and slipped into my gown.
But when the girl tried to zip up my dress, IT DIDN’T HAPPEN. She tried really hard but there was no way it was going to zip up to the top. I feel like I’ve lived through every bride’s worst nightmare and I’ve come out a better person on the other side (said in a sappy, melodramatic voice).
The thoughts running through my head were, “This isn’t happening to me! MY dress is a size bigger than the sample dress which FIT LIKE A GLOVE. Could the sample have stretched out that much? Damn my huge boobs, back fat, and wide Scandinavian rib cage! Damn them all!” To make matters worse, I was having my monthly girl thing and I’m sure the extra bloating wasn’t helping my case. Ugh.
The panic started to set in as the girl helping me went to get the alterations lady. Mom Sword was sitting quietly on the couch feeling terrible for me, and that’s when the tears started to fall. There was no way I was going to ask them to take out my dress! When the alterations lady arrived she suggested we try it without the strapless bra saying that it was a terrible bra with really weird cups that were most likely adding to the problem. So we went bra-less and relief upon relief, Evie zipped up!
But it was too late to stop the meltdown, because things got even worse. As I stared at my dress it struck me how wrinkled and disheveled it looked. In my hangry, fragile and period-driven state, I was starting to doubt why I’d chosen this dress in the first place!
Then I noticed A FLAW. On the right hip of my dress a small part of the ruched fabric was puffing up. It looked like there was extra fabric there or that it had been stretched or pulled, because while the left hip lay flat, the right side looked like crap. Of course the alterations lady didn’t believe me at first and kept trying to calm me down instead. I’m sorry, but I hate being told to relax—it’s my pet peeve! I’m an emphatic and intense person, and people have been telling me to me to relax my entire life and all I wanted was some compassion, not someone glossing over things and making me feel like a freak for getting upset!
Anyway, she started to say that a good steaming/pressing would fix the problem on the right side. On the exterior I was trying to be understanding but on the interior I was getting even more upset! It’s a flaw! How could she not see it?!?! I begged Mom Sword for some support but Mom Sword doesn’t know dresses all that well, and said from far away it wasn’t visible, but as she got closer she could see the imperfection on the right hip. Just when I was beginning to feel like I was in a dream and clearly imagining things, the alterations lady said she’ll pin the fabric in question down and then sew it, and we’ll be able to pick up the dress in a week’s time.
Excuse me? Does this mean you’re agreeing with me? She even went to steam the dress to show me how the wrinkles would come out (they were so bad), and my guess is IF she could have steamed out the flaw, she would have, but it looks like she couldn’t.
When we went to the front desk to schedule the pickup they asked when I could come back and I said, “I can’t! I live in Chicago; I won’t be back until December!” We decided Dad Sword and MOH/Sister Big Eyes would pick up the dress the following week. I asked Sister Big Eyes to try it on for me so she could assess how it looked, even though she hadn’t been there to see the flaw in the first place. It was my best option!
I’m happy to report that the dress was picked up this past weekend and it looks beautiful. I wish I could say I was 100% happy now, but to be perfectly honest, I’ve fallen out of love with my dress. I just feel so annoyed with myself for barely fitting her, and I’m frustrated with the delicate fabric and its haphazard look. I’m sad that I didn’t smile very much when I was wearing her, I’m pissed I started off on such a terrible note, and I’m angry with society (and myself again) for all the pressure I feel to love my dress.
I love my groom more than anything and that’s all that matters, right? My relationship with Evie is a work in progress, like any relationship I guess. In the end it was a bit of a blessing that she didn’t fit me well, because if she was too loose, I’d have gotten overly comfortable and relaxed. I would have become less diligent about what I ate, and I might not have had a good fitting come December.
While that whole experience was really difficult, I feel like I learned a lot.
1. Don’t go to your appointment hangry. Or bloated (although there’s not much you can do about that).
2. Try to look your best so you FEEL your best.
3. Set the expectations bar super low.
4. Keep in mind that EVERYTHING is super tight and tiny in the bridal industry.
5. Remember your groom loves you for the size you are, and that size is not just a good size, it is the right size for you in that moment.
Mom Sword even got me to chuckle during my meltdown because she started laughing hysterically at me when, through my tears, I asked her to get a few photos for the blog. I knew this would be a good story and I want to make a real effort to share the not-so-good parts of wedding planning as well as the sunshine-y moments. So yea, I was thinking of Weddingbee during this moment:
The good news is I am going to have a family friend do my dress alterations and that already makes me feel more comfortable! Evie is currently hanging in a closet in my parent’s house and I’m hoping our next meeting goes a lot smoother! 🙂
(all photos personal)
So, that’s my story. What’s yours?