My mom came to visit a couple of weekends ago and one of our goals for the weekend was to purchase my under-the-dress attire. We headed to a wonderful store in Boston, Lady Grace. The kind of place where there are sales people who actually know what they are doing, can measure you and make ‘the girls’ do things you never knew they were capable of doing.
I will admit, I was mightily depressed while we were in there. Turns out my size is a LOT bigger than I wanted it to be. Everything made my fat rolls stick out, and I was very concerned that the boning in the strapless bra that we finally settled on would show through my dress (that doesn’t have a lot of beading on it and is A line). Well, it turns out the girls at Lady Grace had a surprise for me. I thought that all I was going to get was the strapless bra and however long it was, was as long as any suck-me-in I was going to get. But after I decided on a bra, the saleswoman told her apprentice to ‘go get the Spanx‘.
A few minutes later, the apprentice handed me what looked like a rag doll made of thick hosiery with the stuffing taken out. As I turned the item over in my hands, I realized that it was actually a seamless body suit made of a thicker pantyhose material. My mind was overwhelmed by the thought that I was somehow supposed to make my way into these things. But I ignored the voices in my head that were screaming how impossible it would be to put the Spanx on and started to climb in.
I am not going to lie. Trying to get the Spanx on required full use of all of the dressing room walls, some sweat, tears and A LOT of heavy breathing…but once I go them on…oh. my. gosh. They were comfortable. They absolutely eliminated any sign of the boning from the bustier. They sucked me in so I was as smooth as a celebrity on the red carpet wearing a clingy satin dress. I felt so glamorous standing there in the dressing room in my skivvies. And the best part about the whole thing was that once they were on, I could breathe!! AND, even when I sat down, bent over and moved around, trying to get my gut to make the top of them roll down, they did not budge.
And get this!! They have a hole in the panty section of them so that on the big day if God forbid I have to pee once I am in them, I don’t have to go through the process of getting them off/on again!! I actually plan on putting them on a day in advance so that hopefully by the time I walk down the aisle my face won’t still be beet red from over exerting myself to get my fat ass into them. 🙂
Of course, for as much as I am absolutely thrilled by the thought of what I am going to be wearing under my dress, I know there is the potential for Mr. Corn to be moderately disappointed. So I have already warned him that any preconceived notions of what racy thing I might be wearing under the dress need to be removed from his head immediately. I wouldn’t want him to try and cop-a-feelsky and end up getting his hand hermetically sealed to my ass through my Spanx!