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I was in a LDR for about a year with my partner. About eight months in, we got engaged. By the time we were at our 11th month together, I relocated and started a new job to be closer to him. First, I moved into his apartment, but within a month, we were in our first house purchased together. All this to say that everything has been going very fast, but it was okay because I wanted all of this and I chose to go ahead with all of this.
We have now been living together for a little over two months, and I have noticed that we have been arguing quite a bit (huge arguments about every two weeks). I feel like most of our arguments stem from insecurities. This happened a few times when we were in an LDR, but I thought it was being apart that was causing his mind to go a bit wild. In fact, that is what he told me. So now that we are living together I am a bit surprised and disappointed that it seems like it will be going on for a while.
He seems to think it is okay or normal to argue regularly, whereas I have a lot of difficulties dealing with it emotionally. I worry so much about it that sometimes I wonder if it might be impossible for him to change. I am trying my best to understand how his past and upbringing has impacted him, but I am not a psychologist and I do not want to either make excuses for him or misinterpret what is going on. I am also trying my best to not let this push me away, but I am starting to feel distant from him because of it—and he has noticed, which is fueling his insecurity and increasing the frequency and intensity of these arguments.
I would like to have any kind of advice on what to do about this situation. He is an amazing person, and I love him for a million reasons. I definitely still want to marry him. I would not change anything about him but his insecurity because it is hurting him and our relationship. Has anyone else experienced something like this? What did you do to get back on track? Is individual counseling or premarital counseling helpful for these kinds of situations? Or do we just need to slow things down a bit and push the wedding date of June 2018 to a June 2019 while we adapt to all these changes?
I am desperate for a solution, and I am ready to put in all the necessary work for it and more.