Go ahead, gasp. I said it! I asked the question: has marriage become a thing of the past? Obviously there’s no shortage of committed guys and girls around here on the Weddingbee, but according to this article, the Census Bureau reports that the proportion of married adults of all ages was only 52 percent in 2009—the lowest percentage since the U.S. began tracking statistics in 1880!
Am I surprised? Not really. Not at all, actually. Mr. B and I are the first and only of our friends to get married. We don’t mind being the first and we don’t doubt we’re supposed to be married, but when none of your friends are thinking about marriage, you feel sort of gypped.
It feels kind of like when you realize you and your best friend from high school have grown apart. You were inseparable when you met and thought that would never change. Then you went off to college and they’re really into science and you’re really into sports. You’re still close, but you realize things have changed. You’re on different wave lengths. You have different interests. It’s kind of bittersweet, isn’t it? You love your new interests (in my case those interests are Mr. B, our wedding, Weddingbee, our apartment, our future, our family), but you’re a little sad your friend isn’t as into those same things.
Most of my friends aren’t seeing anyone, are dating, or are in relationships less than a year old. Mr. B has been experiencing the same kind of thing with his friends. His best man, for example, is a total bachelor. He jokes about not ever getting married and there are no serious relationships on the horizon. He’s a few years younger than us and we kind of tell ourselves that that’s the reason he’s like that, but the truth is that we know there’s more to it. It’s not just that he’s young, he doesn’t really believe in it. And he’s not alone, is he?
I think I would be pretty lonely over here on the married (well, soon-to-be married) side if it wasn’t for Weddingbee. Don’t get me wrong, the feeling creeps up every now and then. I jump on the woe-is-me horse and think nobody understands. I wonder if there are others out there and how they deal with it.
But for the most part, I’m extremely thankful for this community. I also have an awesome-awesome future cousin-in-law who is engaged; being the only couple getting married has also definitely brought Mr. B and me closer, too. We tend to run back to each other after hanging out with the single crowd. We feel safe and at ease, and most of all, understood when we’re reunited. We understand, too, that nobody is going to be into our wedding and marriage as we are, and still think we have some of the best friends in the world.
Are you the first or only one of your friends to get married? Do you ever feel like the odd-man out? How do you cope?