Our limo dropped us off at the hotel after the wedding, the same hotel where Mr. Unicycle and the guys had taken photos earlier that day. Our room was tricked out with its own kitchen and living room! I later found out that my aunt had called and upgraded us to a suite. She also sent along chocolate-covered strawberries and champagne.
Photo via Renaissance Schaumburg
Photo via Renaissance Schaumburg
This is still the coolest hotel I’ve ever been to in my life.
The next morning, we met some of our guests for brunch, and then we spent the afternoon relaxing and opening our gifts. Our honeymoon started the very next day. I don’t think I ever blogged about picking our destination, but that’s because I did very little work for it. I wanted an all-inclusive resort somewhere with sand beaches, ocean, and swimming pools. Since Mr. Unicycle’s mom is a travel agent, the two of them came up with some options, and we ultimately decided on the Palladium Royal Suites Turquesa in Punta Cana.
All pics by Mr. Unicycle
One of my friends included that flower on our wedding card, so I wore it throughout the honeymoon. When in Rome…
We didn’t get to fly first class because there was no first class on this plane. However, we had some special package where we got priority boarding and food and wine on the flight. Drinking on an airplane is probably the most adult thing I’ve ever done.
When we got there, we explored the resort and Mr. Unicycle took photos of everything.
Our room was amazing and huge as ballz. We had a canopy bed, which I’ve always wanted, and it was big enough to fit like 10 people. It was like the giant bed from A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila. The toilet room and shower were both separate, and both had windows in the doors for some reason. I guess when you’re on your honeymoon you should really be getting to know each other? I made Mr. Unicycle go out on the balcony when I used the bathroom. Oh, we had our own balcony too.
The balcony came with its own hot tub! We were totally ballers on this trip. And here’s the view from our balcony:
We spent pretty much the entire week lounging on the beach, reading trashy books, and drinking frozen drinks. One of the Apple Vacations representatives informed us that pina coladas can be laxatives, but not before I had downed at least three of them. Luckily, she was wrong…or was she?
At night there was live music and stage shows at different hotels in the resort. We sipped wine while listening to jazz one night, and we went to a show that was literally called “Michael Jackson Show,” where a guy dressed like Michael Jackson and danced to his music. The announcer kept reminding us of the name of the show by yelling out “Michael…Jackson…SHOWWWWW!!” intermittently. The resort was gorgeous at night
Yes, that’s a swim-up bar. And yes, I swam up to it and ordered drinks. You’d be surprised how hard it is to sit on a bar stool that’s submerged in water.
Mr. Unicycle has a “nice” camera, meaning it’s not a point and shoot or a cell phone. I figured I’d leave it up to him to take all the photos on our trip, but then he didn’t want to bring it to the beach or the pool because he didn’t want it to get stolen while we were swimming, which is a legitimate concern. So most of the photos we got are of the scenery and not actually of us doing things. My advice to you is to bring a less good camera on your honeymoon so you can still get the snapshots you want. The photos Mr. Unicycle took are beautiful, but they’re not really honeymoon memories.
We did take the camera to the beach one day, but then we went back to our hotel to stash it again before going back to swim. All in the name of blogging…
Also I loved my new suit so much. Also now you know what we look like without makeup.
This one was also posed. I told him to pretend like he was lounging there with his drink, but we were really in the middle of taking a walk.
We did go on two excursions. The first one was to an alleged “cigar factory,” but to me it looked more like a room where a handful of people were rolling cigars. We exited through the gift shop and left with bags of pointless souvenirs.
The other excursion was a catamaran ride with snorkeling for the first half and partying for the second half. When the snorkeling was done, they cranked up the music, taught everyone dance moves, served us Coco Locos, and then set us free to swim in the ocean for a while. They even floated rum and cokes out to us on floating trays. It was probably my favorite part of the trip, except we didn’t bring our camera with us. The only photo we have is the souvenir photo we took while snorkeling, which cost us like $20.
This is a photo of that photo. Also, that stingray had a face.
One night we drank some of the Dominican rum that came with our room, smoked a Cuban we bought at the cigar factory, and soaked in the hot tub. I wish it were my honeymoon every day. In case you’re curious, Mr. Unicycle says the Cuban was nothing special. He knows more about cigars than I do. We shared one and couldn’t even finish it, hahaha.
He set up this artsy shot.
On the last night, there was a special dinner for all of the honeymooning couples at the resort. They served a friggin’ amazing dinner with wedding cake for desert, and there was a mariachi band that serenaded each table.
By the end of the week, we were both getting bored and ready to come home. If I were to do another all-inclusive trip, I’d probably want to cap it at four days, because there’s only so much beach lounging I can put up with. Nevertheless, it was just the relaxing honeymoon I needed after being such a crazed bridezilla. And I didn’t even get sunburned!
Do you prefer active trips or relaxing vacations?