I swear I couldn’t think of a more clever title than that. Fortunately, it does make sense because this post is partly about a woman’s top half, or more specifically my top half.
Heading out with my girls on a return trip to my college campus—not my best face”¦
See, Mr. Sword had opinions regarding what I wear, or more specifically the dresses I wear, and I’m not sure what is more abnormal: that fact that he’s a guy and cares about my style of dress, or that he prefers me to show off my cleavage as opposed to hiding it from the rest of the world. Before I go any further I should note that I do solicit the opinions, but instead of the more common male response of, “Yeah, looks good. I can’t tell a difference from the last thing you wore,” Mr. Swords says things like, “I don’t really care for that one.”
I must backtrack for a minute. There are three reasons Mr. Sword’s clothing opinions make me laugh.
- Sometimes it’s a competition of who likes my boobs more, me or Mr. Sword. I’ve had boobs since I was 11—I can’t remember life without them. And I’ve always enjoyed wearing tighter, more low-cut tops. In high school, my friends and I even nicknamed them Mitzi and Ditzie. (I can’t believe I just shared that online!) And since moving to Illinois, they’ve been known as The Minnesota Twins. Get it? 🙂 So yeah, he’s a guy, he likes boobs (duh), but I really like them too! They’re fun for everyone.
- Mr. Sword is one of the most laid-back people I’ve ever met. He doesn’t have strong feelings about most things. He could care less about the fact that I rarely make him a home-cooked dinner, that I get tipsy after one glass of wine, or that I’m a huge dork who likes to sing to herself while cleaning the house naked (true fact that’s also embarrassing—clothes only slow me down). Yet, he DEFINITELY notices and cares about what I wear!
- Mr. Sword secretly LOVES it when other guys hit on me. So not typical, right? One day a group of us were walking through a busy intersection, the girls in the front, the boys in the back, so there was no indication that I was with Mr. Sword. Well I was wearing a very tight black dress, and some guy leans out of his car to holler at me that, “Damn, you’re wearing that dress really well.” I turn around to look at my then-boyfriend and he’s just grinning away. If it had happened to another one of my friends, her husband would have been ready to throw a punch! Sometimes I think it’s a cultural thing. When we used to go out more with Mr. Sword’s Scottish friends in Chicago, I noticed that all of his friends flirted with me and the other girls despite who was dating who. I asked one of Mr. Sword’s buddies, “Why is it OK to hit on your friend’s girlfriend?” And he replied, “Better your friend than a guy you don’t know.” Good point.
This all brings me back to the fact that Mr. Sword is VERY picky about the dresses I wear. He strongly dislikes all vintage, old-fashioned looking, modest, or conservative style dresses. Oh, and flowers. He doesn’t like rosettes or floral prints on me either. I know, so demanding!! Mr. Sword is so low-key most of the time, and he never makes me feel bad about what I’m wearing, but when I ask him if he likes something, he gives me an honest answer, as he should. Over the years, I’ve been able to figure out which ones he’ll like and which ones he won’t (which sometimes I still buy anyway because, hey, I can’t have my boobs out all the time!).
Finally, this brings me to my long-winded point. I MUST look SEXY on our wedding day. I think my dress is up to the challenge, but when I was trying on wedding dresses this summer and bridal consultant after bridal consultant kept telling me that my fiancé will like anything I wear and it won’t matter as long as I’m happy, I had to explain to them that they are wrong and some guys do care!
Ready to see some of Mr. Sword’s LEAST favorite dresses?
Our first Easter together. Didn’t know he hated this until MONTHS later”¦
At a friend’s wedding. I love this dress and wear it frequently, despite his opinions.
I’ve recently decided that I dress too juvenile for an almost 29-year-old and I should really start dressing more conservatively! HA. The man wants cleavage and cleavage he shall get! It is his wedding too, after all!
Just in case you need more proof of Mr. Sword’s opinions, during the inventory review at our premarital counseling session with our pastor (more on that soon), when answering the question what is one thing you’d change about your partner physically, Mr. Sword said “style of dress”! Granted that’s better than height or weight, but not better than “other.”
Is your partner really opinionated about what you wear? Do they get jealous if someone else hits on you? OH, and yay for boobs!