As I’m completely internet dependent, I first turned to the web for help when I got engaged, and a whole new world opened for me. The ideas and the inspiration available to brides nowadays are endless there is one more beautiful than the other. I started saving anything that grabbed my attention. When I ended up spending hours per day checking out wedding inspiration and saving thousands of photos / bookmarks, I realised I had to snap out of it and give some structure to my ideas.
Even though in Italy it is not common to have a theme, I was drawn to the concept and I thought it would be a big help for me in narrowing down ideas and finally start making some wedding décor decisions. It was also a way to add an American touch to the wedding.
PRO NR. 1: Setting a theme can help narrow down ideas and provide cohesion
The first step for me was to start identifying the styles or elements that I liked best in the weddings I was looking at. These were:
- Playful touches
- Nostalgic feel
- Charming atmosphere
- Victorian time period
- Vintage Carnival decor
- Travel ideas
- Peaches (the fruit)
Mr. Caro and I discussed these together and identified the ones that had the most meaning for us. We then tried to find the right colours that would express the style we were going for.
PRO NR. 2: A theme can become a fun reflection of the personalities of a couple, making the wedding unique and interesting.
But then I hit a bump: I got blinded by all of the beautiful wedding trends I kept on seeing online and I started picturing my wedding as a replica of those. I fell in love with an opalescent colour palette. I wanted our wedding to include decorated outdoor spaces or forests (as if we were outdoor people in contact with nature) and as many DIY items as possible (as if I could even cut straight or wrap a decent package).
In other words, I lost track of the “us” in the wedding and focused on what the blog world seemed to consider the ultimate wedding theme. When I gravitated towards everything that was opalescent and sparkly I was basing it all on my personal taste and on what looked cool on pictures. And it took our first fight regarding the wedding for me to realize it.
CON NR. 1: A theme should be the reflection of the couple, but can easily become the reflection of only the bride.
It all hit the roof when Mr. Caro and I got into a huge argument after I brought him to a décor store and he did not like anything of what I was showing him. I could not believe his negative attitude, while he found everything too “romantic” or “girly” and he did not want our wedding to turn out like that.
CON NR. 2: Focusing too much on the theme might sidetrack the scope of the wedding.
Once it was clear to me that Mr. Caro and I were not on the same page as I thought I questioned my methodology and took a step back. I realised that while our approach to our wedding is very different (I spend every single waking moment thinking about it, he doesn’t), we should still move forward with it as a team, as it’s equally important to both of us.
Mr. Caro and I talked about how we wanted our wedding to look and feel and if it still made sense for us to have and follow a theme. In the end, after much discussion we decided to stick with a theme. We found a concept that we both really liked and decided that, as long as we were following it loosely, it would be a fun activity for the both of us together!
So that’s how it happened that we started discussing things differently and making decisions only after we had both contributed to them.
Did you ever feel your wedding was becoming more about yourself than of you as a couple? If so, how did you correct your course?