Weddings are beautiful and romantic, so why wouldn’t someone want to repeat their own? When a married couple decides to renew their vows five, 10, 20, or even 50 years after their first trip down the aisle, they are telling the world, or at least their closest friends and family, that they would choose this person all over again—and nothing’s more romantic than that. Couples choose to renew their vows for different reasons. Some might want to celebrate overcoming a challenge, while others might want to honor and acknowledge a milestone anniversary. There are no rules when it comes to renewing your vows, so if you and your beloved have been wondering whether or not you should, here are some ideas as to why you might want to say “I do” all over again.
1. You Didn’t Have the Wedding of Your Dreams
Maybe you were hard-pressed for cash or time (or both!) when you first exchanged vows. Maybe you ended up having the wedding of your parents’ dreams—but not your own. Now that you’re older, wiser, and have a bit more cash in the bank, you can have that magical wedding you never had. Do it up big or play it small. It doesn’t matter because now you get to be in charge.
2. You Just Went Through Some Big Emotional Stuff
Marriage isn’t easy. For many couples, there will come a time within their relationship that will feel like an uphill battle. This could last weeks, months, or even years. The strife might’ve even led you to the brink of divorce. For those couples who come out on the other side stronger, happier, and more devoted than ever, a renewal ceremony is a significant reminder that you would marry this person again “for better or for worse.”
3. You Remember Why you Fell in Love
Nothing beats that euphoric feeling of newlywed love. However, with time as well as with the addition of kids, work, and other obligations, that “honeymoon” spark diffuses and it’s easy to forget how much you were once head-over-heels in love with your spouse. Renewing your vows is a perfect way of injecting that much-needed romance back into your relationship. Reaffirming your marriage will put fighting over who changes the toilet roll into perspective—or at least will give you a more recent memory of your love that you can hold onto when things get tough.
4. You Can Change Your Initial Vows
Your first set of vows reflected the person and relationship you had back then. But flashforward a number of years, and your relationship, as well as who you are now, has most certainly evolved. Both you and your partner have experienced the highs and lows of marriage, and can now appreciate your connection and commitment to each other in a new way. For example, in your new set of vows you can thank your partner for being a good parent, for being there when you lost your job, or for when your mother passed away. You might even have a new perspective on what you expect from your marriage. You can get more specific about what it is you love about your partner, and what you’re expecting from them now, moving forward.
5. You Can Feel Special Again
Let’s be honest: married life can easily feel like something ordinary and not like the fairytale you both experienced on your wedding day. When you renew your wedding vows, you can (temporarily) forget the ordinariness of chores, errands, and unsexy clothing, and feel like royalty again. Putting on nice clothing and getting “cleaned up” for your partner is already romantic and sexy, but when you throw in love-affirming words and the symbolism of being together forever again? You’ll feel special and magical, which is a feeling you might’ve been missing from your life for a while. And let’s not forget wedding night sex: that can feel pretty special, too.
6. You Have a Milestone Anniversary
A landmark anniversary is something worth celebrating and acknowledging. Don’t undermine the years you have grown and evolved with your partner. Choosing your husband or wife again and again over a number of years is a big deal, especially considering the high rate of divorce. You both deserve not only a round of congratulatory applause, but you should also recognize yourselves and the life you have chosen to take together. Reaffirming your vows is a special way of saying, “Look how far we’ve come—and I can’t wait to see how far we have yet to go.”
While there are many reasons to renew your wedding vows, it’s important to know there is no set deadline or time period when it comes to reaffirming your marriage. So if you feel moved to say “I do” all over again, and it feels right to both of you, then you definitely should.