There seem to be three types of grooms. The first wants to dive into the details and help his bride with every stage of planning. The second is comfortable in the background, allowing her to take the reins, and the third is a mixture of one and two. Regardless of your approach to wedding planning, every groom is going to make some sort of mistakes or missteps along the way.
In the grand scheme of things, mistakes related to your wedding are typically forgivable, but it’s totally normal to want to avoid as many as possible. To help make this journey to “I do” easier, here are nine common mistakes grooms make and some tips for avoiding them.
1. Not Putting Effort into the Honeymoon
Yes, your wedding day is special. Of course, you want your ceremony and reception to go perfectly…but don’t forget about the honeymoon. This should be a time to celebrate with just you and your new spouse. You want it to be memorable, meaningful, and enjoyable, so don’t forget to put effort into your honeymoon planning!
2. Trashing the Budget
You may think you’re good with managing money, but these skills are quickly tested when you compare different photographers, videographers, DJs, and caterers. Rather than saying “yes” to all your favorite things at the beginning, weigh your options and reserve your commitments. Consider your budget and everything that needs to fit inside it as you and your soulmate make wedding planning decisions.
3. Vanishing from Wedding Planning
Even if you don’t want to meet with vendors or are bored of the endless Pinterest board scrolling, vanishing from wedding planning can be frustrating and hurtful for your fianceé. While you don’t need to be involved in every single detail (especially if your soon-to-be-spouse wants to handle more of the planning), your support is vital—which means your presence is vital. Don’t ghost your wedding planning process!
4. Extending Verbal Invites
Excitement about the engagement is healthy and normal, however, you don’t want to let things get away from you by throwing out tons of verbal invites. For starters, verbal invites are difficult to keep track of. They make organizing food and seating incredibly challenging. Secondly, it’s respectful to sit down with your fiancée and work out an agreeable guest list before inviting (or promising to invite) everyone you know.
5. Being a Groomzilla
On the opposite side of the spectrum from ghosting your wedding planning process is being a troublesome groomzilla. Nobody enjoys monster behavior in and around the wedding. If you notice you’re obsessing over all the decisions—even tiny details and minuscule moments—take a step back. Breathe. Remind yourself that the most important part is that you get married. The rest is just celebratory!
6. Planning Surprises
Don’t take this the wrong way; surprises can be amazing and fun! Some—like special gifts or handwritten notes—are appropriate for the wedding day…but it’s best to keep most surprises to a minimum, especially during the chaos and stress of wedding planning. Communicate with your partner, plan out your ideas, and make sure they’re on board before making any big plans of your own for the wedding.
7. Letting the Bachelor Party Get out of Control
Your bachelor party ought to be a fun, exciting time with your boys. However, the idea that you can disrespect your partner, gamble away your savings, or drink yourself stupid is outdated and incorrect. There’s no need to be uptight, but be sure you’re respectful and considerate of your fiancée and your upcoming wedding.
8. Improvising Your Vows
Are you and your significant other writing your own vows? If so, don’t get to your ceremony without having them fully prepared. Write them out and read them from a piece of paper—or fully memorize them and have a written copy in your pocket for emergencies. This is not the time to struggle for words or to come up with something on the spot. It’s a time to be purposeful and thoughtful.
9. Ignoring the Day-Of Schedule
Remember all those hours you spent wedding planning, and maybe even the additional hours your fiancée spent planning? You planned because it’s important. The day-of schedule was painstakingly planned so the event runs smoothly. If you want to stop by the barber, play a round of golf, or even sleep in, be sure you still have enough time to follow the schedule. The last thing a groom should ever be is late.
No matter how many mistakes you may make on the journey to the altar, you’ll be married to the love of your life at the end of the day. Remember to have fun, live in the moment, and not let anything get in the way of enjoying your wedding day.