When it comes to weddings, it’s a common misconception that the groom’s job is simply to show up on the wedding day. The reality is far from it. Whether the groom is active in the wedding planning process or not, the wedding is meant to be a celebration for both partners, so it’s important to understand that all responsibility should be shared. By doing so, you can not only relieve any premarriage stress, but also ensure that your relationship blossoms.
Aside from a lack of participation in the planning process, there are many other mistakes that grooms make leading up to and during the wedding. They may not seem serious in the moment, but certain errors can damage the wedding and the marriage in the long-term. Here are some examples of common mistakes that grooms make. It’s always better to prevent problems in advance rather than deal with the aftermath, right?
1. Not Spreading the Word about Your Engagement
Once you’re engaged, it’s polite to notify the people closest to you, such as your parents, of the upcoming nuptials. It’s best to do this in-person or via a phone call. Don’t rely on a social media announcement, and don’t rely on your fianceé to be the only one to let people know.
2. Being too Passive in the Planning Process
Grooms are often blamed for not being actively involved in planning the wedding. Of course, some brides tend to get very excited and therefore take over the process, but that doesn’t mean the groom should take a seat in the back row. Showing enthusiasm and giving effort is very important. Even if it doesn’t seem that way, your partner will appreciate any input you can give. It also assures that your wedding day will be about you—and not just the other person. Therefore, if asked for an opinion, always give a thoughtful answer. Acting indifferent will grant you no favors. In addition, don’t miss out on meetings with important vendors.
3. Spending Beyond the Budget (Or Not Spending Enough)
It’s not just brides who tend to overspend on weddings. It can be easy for anyone to get caught up in the moment and just say “yes” to everything. One of the first discussions you should have before starting to plan a wedding is the budget. Then, it’s important to stick to it.
There’s the other side, as well. Some grooms tend to be a bit too tight with the budget, which can quickly get annoying. Hence, it’s important to discuss how much you’re willing to spend in total, and if you overspend in one category, know where you can cut down in another. Since money is a leading source of arguments for married couples, this is a good practice run for how you two manage financial disagreements.
4. Forgetting about Your Groomsmen
Take a tip from the brides on this one. Far too many grooms forget about their groomsmen and the best man. While brides host various appreciation events for their bridesmaids, grooms often forget to do so. Do make some kind of effort to let your friends know how grateful you are for their involvement in this stage of your life. This may mean a luncheon, night at a bar, or physical thank you gifts. And if anyone was extra helpful, such as the best man, make sure to show it.
In addition, keep your groomsmen in the loop about what’s going on. Make sure they have the appropriate clothing for the wedding day and that they know their duties. Update them on the wedding day schedule a few days before (and remind them to behave). Make sure you have answers for any general questions or concerns they may have.
5. Ignoring Your Flaws
There’s a lot one needs to do in the lead up to their wedding. Half of it is ensuring that you show up as your best possible self. Hence, put some effort into cleaning up your looks, your behavior, and most importantly, your skills. For example, if you know you’re a bad dancer, take a lesson or two! You can’t risk stepping on your partner’s toes. Or, if you’re a bad public speaker and expected to give a speech, take the time to practice. And, of course, if you’re writing your own vows, take the time to put some meaning into them and rehearse what you’re going to say.
6. Neglecting the Wardrobe
More men are paying attention to their wedding wardrobe than ever—probably because they’ve learned many lessons from watching other weddings. Even if you’re a casual dresser day-to-day, it’s crucial to take it up a notch or two for your wedding. Dressing the part will not only boost your mood, but also enhance the experience. Many grooms today see a wedding as an excellent opportunity to invest in a proper suit, which will hopefully be used again and again in the future. If you need any inspiration, check out the latest updates on 2020’s groomswear trends. Besides the actual clothing, shoes are almost as important. Many grooms wear their wedding shoes for the first time on the day of, which is a mistake. Break in the shoes before your wedding; nothing will ruin the day faster than blisters.
7. Being Late to the Ceremony
Don’t assume that all you have to do on your wedding day is roll out of bed, put on a suit, and show up at the ceremony. That will likely not end well. You can read about suggestions on how a groom should plan the morning of their wedding day if you need a place to get started. Most importantly, don’t do anything to risk being late. Imagine how your partner will feel if they think you stood them up? It’s better to be early than enjoy some pre-wedding downtime.
8. Overindulging at the Wedding Reception
It may be hard to control yourself at an open bar, especially if you’re in a celebratory mood–but it is very important to keep a clear head on your wedding day. Imagine how it would ruin the moment if one of your guests got too drunk and caused a scene. Don’t be that guy. There’s nothing worse than embarrassing yourself. (If you know you can easily get out of control, ask one of your friends to keep an eye on you.) Along these same lines, don’t forget to hydrate with water and eat throughout the day, both of which are important to keep up your energy through the celebration.
9. Forgetting to Focus
…on the moment. Your wedding day is very special. Hopefully, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime event. Don’t neglect this. Try to enjoy the party and acknowledge your guests. Having said that, don’t be too distracted by your friends, and make sure to spend adequate time with your new spouse throughout the night!