How to Choose a Flower Girl for Your Wedding

A flower girl at a wedding wearing a flower crown.

Choosing your wedding party is an important part of preparing for your big day, and in doing so, there are many key roles to fill. One of those, depending on what you want for your wedding, is choosing a flower girl to be a part of your big day. While this is an undoubtedly adorable role, it’s one that can be tricky to choose the perfect candidates for out of the little ladies in your life. Below, we outline how to choose your flower girl and how to ask her parents for their permission.

Consider the Flower Girl’s Age

Choose a flower girl that is the appropriate age for the job. While the parameters of this are certainly flexible, most flower girls tend to be between four and six years old. However, this is definitely something that you can go outside of the box on. In fact, many people choose flower girls that are younger than four or that are as old as eight years old. Be leery of choosing a flower girl that is too young, though, as they may have trouble getting down the aisle on their own or may be intimidated by the crowd. If your flower girl is much older than eight, you may want to consider making her a junior bridesmaid instead.

Consider the Relationship you Have With Her

More important than the age of your flower girl candidate is the relationship you and your fiancé have with her. Choosing your wedding party is all about incorporating people that are important in your lives, and choosing a flower girl is no exception to this rule! You’ll want to have a child that is significant to you, whether it’s a niece, daughter of a cousin or other family member, or daughter of a long-standing friend. You will love looking back at your wedding and having the memory of your flower girl being a part of it, so make it someone that you’re confident you’ll have in your life for a long time to come.

Know that You Can Have More than One Flower Girl

Two flower girls at a wedding, holding baskets.

If you have more than one little lady in your life that you’d consider to be your flower girl, don’t stress. Perhaps you have several nieces and you don’t want to leave anyone out. It’s completely customary to incorporate a couple or even several flower girls into your big day. In fact, it’s so cute to have them walk together and photographed and it might even make them feel more at ease performing the job, if they’re shy. However, if you only have one child in mind for the job, that’s perfectly fine, too!

Ask the Flower Girl’s Parents Privately

Talk to the parents of your potential flower girl privately rather than in front of the child. This is because you don’t want them to feel obligated to say yes if their child is excited about the idea once they hear of it. In the conversation, be open to the fact that this is a big responsibility for them and their child and that while it’s certainly an honor, there also could be reasons that they wouldn’t be comfortable with it. Have a frank conversation with them to see if it’s something they’d be on board with.

Talk About the Financial Obligation with the Parents

In bringing up this idea with the parents of your flower girl, be sure to mention what the financial obligation will be. Give a rough estimate of what you’d want their child to wear and how much the cost of the dress and other elelments of the outfit will be. Some individuals let the parents choose their flower girl’s dress themselves, which allows them more choice over the price point, whereas other brides choose the dress for the flower girl themselves. Discuss how this will go so they know what to expect and if it’s something they can commit to.

Tell the Parents the Full Wedding Plan

A flower girl holding signs that say

You’ll want to share the full plan for the day with the parents of your flower girl so they know what to expect. For instance, some couples allow kids at their ceremony, but opt not to include them in the reception. Talk about how the ceremony will go, what the location and venue will be like, and the timing so that they know what their child’s schedule will be that day in order to make the most informed decision.

Express Your Love to the Flower Girl and Her Parents

Likely, if you’re asking this child to be in your wedding, they as well as their parents are very important to you. Express this to the parents while asking for their permission to have their daugher as a part of your big day. They’ll love the sentiment and it will undoubtedly mean a lot to them to have their little one included in such an important milestone.

These tips make it easier to select the right flower girl and make sure that their parents are on board with the idea. This is an exciting process, so enjoy it and all its associated cuteness!

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